From Homestar Runner Wiki
Hi, I'm The thing. I'm a user here at HRWiki. You may have gathered that by the fact that I have a userpage. That's something that only users tend to have. In fact, I'd be willing to bet that only users have userpages. The admins here are weirdly strict so I doubt they'd let an IP have a userpage. Maybe I'll try that! Nah, never mind. People don't really have a sense of humor around here anymore. Or is it I with a bad sense of humor? The world may never know. Just like the amount of licks necessary to get to the center of a tootsie-pop. Mr. Owl claims it's 3 but I think it's pretty clear that there was a bite involved in his experimenting. I usually bite lollipops too. I'm just impatient I guess. Who licks them though really? The only way I've ever seen a lollipop get eaten was by someone keeping it in their mouth. No one eats it like an ice cream cone... Speaking of ice cream, I can't decide if I like chocolate or mint ice cream more. Ideally I'd just eat them together I guess. I wish they sold mint ice cream without the chocolate chips. I like chocolate chips and all, but sometimes I just don't want anything solid in my ice cream. Anyone still reading this? Where was I? Oh yeah, I'm a user here.
Here's my old userpage, condensed for your inconvenience: