From Homestar Runner Wiki
Man! It's been like, over a freaking year, and there's still no re-imaginin' going on for this user page! No graphics, no funny statements, no funny questions! Not even a miserable italicized word!
 The Failure of Imagination (Or, Why No One Should Ever Compose Streams of Consciousness)
DISCLAIMER: None of the following is true, nor is it endorsed by the Homestar Runner Wiki, employees of SOGLO, Ltd., or any sandals, anywhere. Maybe Teva sandals, but that would be the exception.
The Smoking Monkey thinks that when angels cry, this means Vlad Guerrero has a season-ending MCL injury. When someone says, "I Can't!" he replies ,"not the Immanuel Kant, philosopher extrordinaire?" He believes firmly that everything Homestar says is really a coded message somehow linked to that piece of tire he once saw on Route 95. He feels it's not always right to hold the door open for little old ladies - what is he, a professional doorman? No, no, no. He is, was, and shall be a proponent for getting manatees put on restaurant menus, expunging the word "crotchless" from the English language, and tapioca. Lots of thick, rich, tapioca.
— THE SMOKING MONKEY 03:57, 25 July 2007 (UTC)