An Important Rap Song

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Toon Category: Shorts
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This article is about the Cheat Commandos short. For the Powered by The Cheat toon, see Rap Song.
"Kidz, don't play wit' 2 many knives!"

Crack Stuntman has an important message.

Cast (in order of appearance): Gunhaver, Fightgar, Firebert, Blue Laser Commander, Blue Laser Minion, Silent Rip, Crackotage, Flashfight, Reynold, Ripberger, Crack Stuntman, Reynold's Brother, Foxface

Places: Cheat Commandos HQ, Blue Laser Cottage, The Beach

Date: Monday, March 26, 2007

Running Time: 2:01

Page Title: We now return to the REAL Cheat Commandos!

DVD: Everything Else, Volume 3

Contents

[edit] Transcript

{Scene opens to a VCR-like opening screen with static at the top and "PLAY" and a timer going up from "0:20:14." The tracking lines gradually disappear.}

GUNHAVER: {standing next to Fightgar and Firebert} —pants back on, Blue Laser!

{Cut to Blue Laser Commander holding his pair of pants up while not wearing any.}

BLUE LASER COMMANDER: How could you possibly refer to these as PANTS?

{Cut back to the Commandos}

GUNHAVER: Ahahaha! {turns to other Commandos; suppresses laughter} Cheat Commandos... riggidy-roll!

{The other Commandos look confused and surprised. Cut to Silent Rip.}

SILENT RIP: Uh... that's not what we usually say—

{Cut back to Gunhaver}

GUNHAVER: Yeah whatever, {background music stops} it's riggidy-roll from now on.

{Cut to usual end screen, "Buy All Our Playsets and Toys!!" appears on the screen and is sung to music. The text "created by A. Chimendez" appears at the bottom. "Riggidy Roll" is carved into the plinth that Gunhaver stands on instead of "Rock Rock On" as usual, and the characters at the bottom seem confused.}

SINGERS: Buy all our playsets and toys!

{Cut to pink screen with a guy with a green shirt with "CRACK" on his shirt pocket}

CRACK STUNTMAN: Hi kids. {lunges at screen} BLAAAAH'm Crack Stuntman. {places hand on chest.} I'm the voice of the {removes hand from chest} gun-shaver on Cheat Commandos! Here with an important rap song about safety {holds up 1 finger} and spring break. {holds up another finger} {points offscreen} Bust it! {music starts playing, Crack's head bobs to the beat}

CRACK STUNTMAN:
Well you're a rich kid, living in the suburbs,
and there's not a whole lot to do.
You stroll into the kitchen and what do you find?
A bunch of knives cold staring at you!

So,
Kidz, don't play wit' 2 many knives.
C'mon, c'mon.
Crack Stuntman gonna save some lives.

Awwwwwww...

It's spring break,
Girlies running wild,
Jet to the beach
wearin' the freshest styles.
Meet a bunch of kids from Alabama!
Beach volleyball slammajamma!
Putt-putt, go carts, bungee-jumpin'!
Crack Stuntman keeps the bass pumpin'!

Poo-ha-huh-ha-huh,
Poo-ha-huh-ha-huh.
Poo-ha-huh-ha-huh,
Poo-ha-huh-ha-huh.
Poo-ha-huh-ha-huh,
Poo-ha-huh-ha-huh.
Poo-poo-ha-ha-ha-ha-huh-ha-huh.

Holla for a dolla!
Shout for some clout!
Somebody say holla for a dolla!
Let's turn this party out!

Bonfire on the beach and people start to dance,
Find a fly girlie for some beach romance.
But then a fresh honey comes walkin' by.
How can a man choose between fresh and fly?
(spoken) And believe me, there is a difference!

Throw your hands in the air for some high-fives,
and kidz, don't play wit' 2 many knives.

And I am out!

{Cut to a gray background where the words "Download All Our Number One Jams!!" appear in white on a gray background. The Cheat Commandos theme music plays.}

SINGERS: Download all our number one jams!

[edit] Fun Facts

[edit] Explanations

  • This toon is a parody of various public service announcements seen at the end of Saturday morning cartoon shows in the eighties and nineties such as G.I. Joe and Captain Planet. These announcements generally convey messages against things such as drug use and littering, and usually feature characters from the cartoon.
  • "Fresh" in this case means "first rate", while "fly" means "stylish".

[edit] Trivia

  • This is the first toon in which Foxface has been animated.
  • The serial number on the dollar bill that appears during the rap is 34678234678 on the left side and 67834jq8nds on the right. On a real American dollar bill the serial number would be the same on both sides, and the letters would be capitalized.
  • The background beat of the song was made with a TR-909 drum machine.
  • The summary for the Podstar Runner RSS feed reads, "Crack Stuntman drops science and knife moderation."

[edit] Remarks

  • The Blue Laser Commander asks, "How could you possibly refer to these as pants?" but his minions implied that the clothes in question are indeed pants in Commandos in the Classroom. Fightgar was asked by a Blue Laser Minion to "put these wine coolers down [his] pants", presumably in the same way that the two minions have wine coolers down their pants. However, when the Blue Laser Minion realizes that Fightgar isn't wearing pants he says, "...er, down your headband."
  • The golf clubs displayed are not putters, which are commonly used for miniature golfing, as the song refers to.
  • The sound in this toon is considerably higher quality than usual. This was also done in Homestar Presents: Presents and the character videos of The King of Town and Marzipan.
  • The rap song's overall rhythm and repetition of "come on, come on" is similar to Strong Bad's email song in the Easter egg at the end of senior prom.
  • When the Cheat Commandos are at the bonfire, they are flipped over and the "BL" logos on the Blue Laser members are reversed.
  • Even after Eggs (toon) and from work were released two weeks later, the Main Page Message linking to this toon still read "new cartoon!"
    • On April 13th, it was changed to "2 many knives".
  • The first displayed lyric in the onomatopoeia section is "poo ha huh ha huh", but the second one is spelled "poo ha hoo ha hoo."

[edit] Goofs

  • This toon's entry in the Toons Menu incorrectly shows a running time of 2:19 in the "Shorts" section. The time is shown correctly in the "What's New" section.
  • Crack Stuntman's second "Pistols for Pandas" visor and Blue Laser's uniform are just mirror images of the first ones, so the logos are reversed.
    • This may be a reference to the trend within low budget, 1980s cartoons of simply mirroring animation.
  • When Crack Stuntman's face appears on the dollar bill, the "Pistols for Pandas" logo on his visor disappears.
  • In the line up of the Cheat Commandos at the start of the toon, Fightgar does not have his stubble.
  • During the night scenes, the moon in the sky is full, but its reflection in the water is crescent.

[edit] Inside References

[edit] Real-World References

[edit] See Also

  • The visuals that occur during the rap song.

[edit] DVD Version

  • The message "Download All Our Number One Jams!!" is retained, but, for obvious reasons, you can no longer actually download the song.
  • The DVD version features hidden creators' commentary. To access it, switch your DVD player's audio language selection while watching.

[edit] Commentary Transcript

(Commentary by: Mike Chapman, Fightgar, Matt Chapman)

FIGHTGAR: Here! This is a first.

MIKE: Oh!

FIGHTGAR: I'm going to do the commentary with Mike!

MIKE: All right, uh, hold on.

FIGHTGAR: You don't even know which one I am!

MIKE: Crackotage! You're Crackotage!

FIGHTGAR: No.

MIKE: Really?

FIGHTGAR: I don't think so, Mike.

MIKE: Uh, which one are you?

FIGHTGAR: Fightgar!

MIKE: Really? All right. You're the one with the bullets around your chest, right?

FIGHTGAR: 'S right. And I say, "Right, right, right, right, right."

MIKE: Look who it is!

FIGHTGAR: Who's that?

MIKE: That's, uh, Crack Stuntman. Who does your voice, by the way? Crack Stuntman does Gunhaver's voice. Who does your voice, Fightgar?

FIGHTGAR: Uh, Reno— Reynaldo Crake.

MIKE: Reynaldo Crake. I think you made that up.

FIGHTGAR: I may ha— It's true.

MIKE: {laughs}

FIGHTGAR: Uh...

MATT: All right, I'll stop.

MIKE: {laughs} Fightgar wasn't going to have a whole lot to say.

MATT: I didn't have a lot of mileage.

MIKE: {laughs}

MATT: So, uh, originally, Crack Stuntman was going to show up at the end of the, um, Commandos in the Classroom—

MIKE: Uh huh.

MATT: —and deliver an important message to the kids.

MIKE: Right.

MATT: In the— In the G.I. Joe PSA vein. Uh, but we didn't— we cut that scene. And then, uh— now, he— we decided to slip him into an answering machine and now here he is. He's since gone on to cameo in a Strong Bad Email, Mike!

MIKE: That's right.

MATT: Which is kind of what any secondary Homestar Runner character could wish for.

MIKE: Could hope for.

MATT: Yeah. {pause} There's Foxface. I think that's the first time we've seen animated Foxface, out of her—

MIKE: Yeah, we've seen her figurine.

MATT: Yeah. He's got a Pi— Pistols For Pandas visor on! Two of them!

MIKE: {laughs}

MATT: Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

MIKE: I like the idea of a rap song that's warning kids to, you know, like, "Be safe, but not too safe!"

MATT: Yeah, don't forget to party!

MIKE: Yeah.

[edit] Fun Facts

  • Crack Stuntman's cameo in a Strong Bad Email occurred in original.

[edit] External Links

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