Coach Z
From Homestar Runner Wiki
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Defender1031 (Talk | contribs) (that's not a psycological problem) |
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**He once asked a [[Wormdingler|drawing he made]] to [[Trogday 08|be his bride]]. | **He once asked a [[Wormdingler|drawing he made]] to [[Trogday 08|be his bride]]. | ||
**He believes that a [[diorama|sketch of a cell phone]] is a real cell phone. | **He believes that a [[diorama|sketch of a cell phone]] is a real cell phone. | ||
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*[[Alcohol]]ism | *[[Alcohol]]ism |
Revision as of 02:28, 4 November 2008
Character: Coach Z |
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Contents |
Biography
Coach Z is the "coach" of the residents of Free Country, USA, though it is unclear exactly which sports he coaches. He has a strong Upper Midwestern accent which sometimes gets him into trouble. He almost never says anything negative to anyone, and he often offers more encouragement than is needed. When giving advice, he tends to start with the phrase "You can't just rush into the score zone", which by now has lost its meaning. He wears a blue and purple baseball cap and is famous for the large gold Z emblem around his waist, but nobody knows for sure whether his bright green color is his skin or a body suit. However, baby Coach Z seems to be wearing footy pajamas in the email highschool, and on more than one occasion, Coach Z has mentioned his pants. In shapeshifter, Coach Z referred to his outfit as his "sweaty sweat-sweats", which was seen to have at least one pocket. His head is a white sphere with light gray circles for eyes. Coach Z lacks a nose or mouth. He is also one of the few main characters with clearly defined hands and feet; Coach Z's arms are long compared to his body, and very short legs leading to wide feet.
As Coach Z himself is not afraid to admit, he's got more than two problems. Despite being a coach, he doesn't know what a basketball is, as indicated in secret recipes. It has been implied that he has a crush on Marzipan, and he has occasionally made inappropriate comments about her; one occasion on her answering machine when he was drunk, and another during the commercial break of the 4Tst annual Fall Float Parade. In fact, in diorama, he claims that Marzipan is his "gorgeous girlfriend". He also cannot say the word "job", as shown in the "A Jorb Well Done" cartoon. He sometimes may pronounce it as "jorb", "jaerb", or "jareoarb". He has a drinking problem and can frequently be seen consuming mouthwash, as seen in The Best Decemberween Ever and Decemberween Short Shorts, among other appearances. In addition to his frequent mispronunciations, Coach Z also seems to have mental and gender confusion problems, as evidenced by the time he spent "talking to his parents" on a disconnected telephone, and claiming to be a mother in garage sale. He has even stated on one occasion that he sometimes "forgets what's real, and what's just in [his] head". He also has trouble managing his money, causing his electricity to be shut off each year. He has an apparent fixation with butts, and he seems to have a habit with butt-patting. He was told by Homestar Runner in Decemberween Short Shorts to not tell people about his butt when they asked him "What's up". He works with Homestar Runner and Bubs as the apparent local law enforcement in Free Country, USA, and he makes frequent jokes and references about pants, whether his own or someone else's. In recent cartoons it appears that Coach Z is the janitor at the office where Homestar and Strong Bad work. He is paid on hourly wage and is clearly jealous that Strong Bad is paid on salary. He has also spent time dressed as the Blubb-O's Drive-Thru Whale mascot. Many characters see him as a nuisance, and even Homestar has treated Coach Z with contempt in Decemberween Short Shorts, where Coach Z wants to go to Homestar's house for Decemberween, and Homestar replies with a "no" (numerous times).
Coach Z is a fan of hip-hop and rap music, particularly the Wu-Tang Clan. He fancies himself a rapper as well: He released the single "These Peoples Try to Fade Me," which appeared on Strong Bad Sings and Other Type Hits, his solo album, entitled "The Z Is All Up Ins", features the smash hit "Hip Hop Dance", and his own rap song, "Rap Song" (featuring Peacey P and Tenerence Love). in Most In The Graveyard, it reveals that Coach Z and Bubs may be very distant relatives, although Bubs believes that he is a liar.
Coach Z's age is ambiguous, as he appears to be grown up when Strong Bad was a kid in the email stand-up, while they both appeared to be babies in the email highschool (although Strong Bad said that he had a "doodle memory".).
Coach Z and Bubs had a falling out at one point, as Fall Float Parade tells us. But as of the email narrator it seems they're back to having boring conversations outside Bubs' Concession Stand.
Coach Z owns four Tony awards but it is unknown if he actually won them.
- Domicile: Coach Z's Locker Room
- Debut: "Where My Hat Is At?"
- Complete Filmography
His emblem, squished/skewed/turned all around (from redesign) |
Character Video Transcript
{Page Title: Drop Down and Gimme 20!!} {Places: Coach Z's Locker Room}
COACH Z: {looking slightly offscreen} Is that thing on? {turns to the camera lens} Hey there, ho there! I'm the Coach! The Coach Z, I'd guess you'd call me. Or plain old Coach is fine, seein' as I'm the only one around, so, probably no one else would answer to that. You say "Hey Coach!", and I'd say "Yeah?" or..."That's me!" or..."Hoo-hah!" {waves his arms in the air} Any one of those. There's rumors flyin' around that I sleep in one of these lockers {gestures to the lockers behind him}, but uh, that's just not true. I usually crash on this bench here. {gestures to the bench behind him} My back's not in real good condition. {rubs his back} And now, I'd like to perform my hip-hop single, "These peoples try to fade me." {holds up a microphone, begins to sing} A one-two, a one-two—!
HOMESTAR RUNNER: {appears in front of camera} Sorry. We're all out of tape.
Coach Z's Accent
The primary factor in his hilarity, Coach Z's Upper Midwestern accent has made him into a very quotable character.
Sounds Affected
The most commonly mispronounced sounds are long e (i.e. The Cheat) and the short o (job), which both come out as an "or" or "aer" ("The Chort", "jaerb").
List of mispronounced words
Inconsistencies
Evidence has suggested that Coach Z's accent may be bogus:
- After saying "track or trort" in 3 Times Halloween Funjob, Bubs gets on his case and he says "trick or treat" correctly. If given "Swedish Fish," said as "Swordish Forsh," Bubs gets on his case again and Coach Z says "It's a crowd-pleaser."
- In boring (really), while Strong Bad is writing his list of three-letter words, Coach Z interrupts him at the word "job", saying that "jorb is a four letters word."
- Coach Z says "The Cheat" immediately after "The Chort" in mascot, though he speaks as though he's talking about two different people.
- In the DVD commentary for part-time job, Mike exploits Coach Z's "accent" by implying that not only does Coach Z add the letter R to words, but now also likes to switch letters around sometimes, and in reply Coach Z partially admits to his accent being bogus.
- In cliffhangers, in the process of his attempted unmasking of The Thnikkaman, he says "secret sorcret" twice, referring to Thnikkaman's secret being revealed and his shame in having really bad hand-eye coordination.
Featured in
Coach Z's "more than two problems"
Coach Z has claimed to have "more than two problems." An analysis of his behavior shows the following problems.
- Medical
- He has "problems with his feet", including athlete's foot.
- He has mentioned several times that he has a bad back.
- When his bathing suit is removed, he leaks a black fluid.
- He has bad hand-eye coordination.
- Psychological
- He thinks that he is a mother.
- He sometimes forgets what's real and what's just in his head.
- He has an obsession with butts.
- He seems to believe he's in a relationship with Bubs.
- He has short-term memory loss.
- He once asked a drawing he made to be his bride.
- He believes that a sketch of a cell phone is a real cell phone.
- Alcoholism
- He has been drunk multiple times, usually on Listerine.
- He spiked the punch at the senior prom with Listerine.
- He called Marzipan while being drunk, along with Bubs.
- Anti-social behavior
- He wears a disturbingly small bathing suit when swimming, and doesn't realize that it makes others uncomfortable.
- It has been implied that he has a crush on Marzipan. He has occasionally made "inapprapriate" comments about her and has let it slip that he snuck into her house.
- He was sent to juvenile prison.
- Hygiene
- He holds the record for the longest time gone without showering.
- He wears sweaty pants.
- Speech Impediment
- See above.
- Lack of generally common knowledge
- Despite being a coach, he doesn't know what a basketball is.
- He claims to only know a few words, such as "pfargtl", his "favorite animal".
- At one point, he believed that the shower heads in his locker room were his "drippy, broken speakers".
- He believes a cardboard box with a detached microphone is a record studio.
- He thinks cooking with hydroelectricity means running a hot dog under the shower.
- Financial
- He claims he has money, but not much.
- He lives in a gymnasium locker room.
- He frequently has his power shut off because he forgets to pay his bills.
- He has occasionally attempted to be sent to prison, since he would be guaranteed "three square meals a day".
- He can't afford "money cost" ice cream.
- Miscellaneous
- He often pukes his pants.
- He carries a bottle of questionable water with him at all times for questionable reasons.
- Even when he finds he's eating something awful, he still eats it.
- He enjoys covering puke in sawdust, claiming that "Sawdust makes everything delicious".
- He admits he likes a good chafe.
Fun Facts
- Coach Z's accent came from a depressing Midwestern voice that Matt and some friends would do in college.
- It was revealed in issue #21 of Wonkavision magazine that Coach Z is named after Craig Zobel.
- According to trading cards, Coach Z gave 23 butt pats in 1984 (22 to Homestar, 1 to himself).
- Coach Z was originally known as "Coach Zee."
- Strong Bad referred to Coach Z as "Green Bubs" in the email road trip.
- In Date Nite he is shown without his hat and wearing hair curlers, despite a lack of visible hair.
- On Coach Z's emblem, the darker blue shine streak under the gold Z makes a backwards Z formation.
- According to the Old Characters Page, Coach Z wasn't much of a coach at the time, and he just added the title because it sounded "cooler than just Z". He has been seen coaching on numerous occasions since then, though his talent at it is still dubious at best.
Relationships
- Main article: Character Relationships
- Bubs and Coach Z's Relationship
- Strong Bad and Coach Z's Relationship
- Marzipan and Coach Z's Relationship
- Homestar Runner and Coach Z's Relationship
Variations
- Fort Wayne Locomotive (Old-Timey)
- 20X6 Coach Z (20X6)
- Renaldo (Dangeresque)
- Coach B or Zubs
- Coach Zed
- Damp Towel Man
Halloween Costumes
In each Homestar Runner Halloween special, Coach Z has dressed up as something hip-hop-related, or in the case of Theo Huxtable, something he believes to be hip-hop related. (The Noid costume was not released.)
- Flavor Flav in Homestarloween Party.
- Humpty Hump in The House That Gave Sucky Treats.
- Kid in Pumpkin Carve-nival.
- Kool Moe Dee in 3 Times Halloween Funjob.
- Tupac in Halloween Fairstival.
- Theo Huxtable (from The Cosby Show) in Halloween Potion-ma-jig.
- Queen Latifah in Happy Hallow-day.
- So So Def Recordings Logo in Jibblies 2.
- DJ Lance Rock in Most in the Graveyard.
Quotes of the Week
Coach Z's Quotes of the Week |
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See Also
External Links
Main Characters |
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Homestar Runner | Strong Bad | The Cheat | Strong Mad | Strong Sad | Pom Pom | Marzipan | Coach Z | Bubs | The King of Town | The Poopsmith | Homsar |