Strong Bad is in Jail Cartoon

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Toon Category: Big Toon
watch Parsnips A-Plenty Shopping for Danger
Strong Bad gets his mugshots taken

After escaping from jail, Strong Bad and The Cheat try to pull off "one last job" before retirement.

Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad, The Cheat, Homestar Runner, Coach Z, Strong Sad, Strong Mad, Marzipan, Bubs, The King of Town, Pom Pom, The Poopsmith, Biscuitdoughhandsman, Frank Bennedetto

Places: Bubs' Concession Stand, Strong Sad's Room, Computer Room, Jail, The Field, Strong Badia, Smoky Office, The King of Town's Castle, Marzipan's House (Easter egg)

Date: Monday, March 22, 2004

Running Time: 6:00

Page Title: The Bighouse!

DVD: Everything Else, Volume 2

Contents

[edit] Transcript

{Open with the silhouette of Bubs' Concession Stand at night, and the woods behind it. Strong Bad and The Cheat, clad in black, sneak up to the back of the stand. They glance around to make sure nobody is watching.}

THE CHEAT: {The Cheat noises}

STRONG BAD: You said it, The Cheat. Once we get our hands on Bubs' fundraiser candy bars, our troubles will be over! We can retire, maybe get a little place in Strong Badia, I dunno.

THE CHEAT: {The Cheat noises}

STRONG BAD: All right, remember the drill: go straight for the crispy crackly ones. Don't waste your time on them plain ol' chocolates. Those things are fool's gold! Okay, hand me the explosives.

{The Cheat hands Strong Bad a bunch of Fthoom-Bang brand bottle rockets duct-taped together and then lights them with the BMW Lighter. Strong Bad sets them against the back door of Bubs' stand, and then they both take cover. The rockets launch and fireworks explode in the sky.}

STRONG BAD: The Cheat, I told you to remove the fthoom! {The Cheat covers his face} All we needed was the bang!

{Homestar Runner arrives, making car-alarm siren noises.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Weh ooh weh ooh weh ooh weh...

STRONG BAD: Oh no, we've been found ou—

HOMESTAR RUNNER: DoooooooOOOOOOOOOOWIP! DoooooooOOOOOOOOOOWIP!

STRONG BAD: Oh no, we've—

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Meh! Meh! Meh! Meh!

STRONG BAD: Oh—

HOMESTAR RUNNER: DooooooooDEEEEEEEEEEdooooooooDEEEEEEEEEE! {He stops, leans forward, and looks at Strong Bad expectantly.}

STRONG BAD: {after a pause, apathetically} Oh no we've been found out.

{Coach Z walks up behind them}

COACH Z: I mighta guessed you was behind all this!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Coach Z, get these low-lifes out of my sight!

{Coach Z starts dragging them off. Strong Bad's heels leave little trails of dirt in the ground as he is dragged along.}

STRONG BAD: You set me up! You set me up! The Cheat, tel-tell him that he set you up. {The Cheat starts squealing with him} YOU SET ME UP!!!

{Cut to title sequence. Mugshots of Strong Bad appear along with the titles. "THE BROTHERS CHAPS PRESENT" "THE FIRST CARTOON IN A WHILE" "WE LIKE TO CALL IT" "STRONG BAD IS IN JAIL CARTOON" "MISSY AND MATT ON VOCALS" "MIKE ON DRUMS" Cut to Strong Sad sitting at a table, writing a letter and narrating.}

STRONG SAD: Dear Prisoner Number 5408, aka Strong Bad, aka Professor Tor Coolguy, I can only hope your incarceration turns your life around as much as it has mine. I feel... cooler, and... less like I suck so bad. I've made some changes around the house. Your computer room is now my Tai Chi space.

{Cut to the computer room, where Strong Sad has set up calligraphy scrolls, Taijitu (Yin Yang symbols), and a candle, while he performs tai chi.}

STRONG SAD: Hai-toh... Beng... Gait!

{Cut back to him writing}

STRONG SAD: Well, I gotta go. Marzipan and I have a {enunciates heavily} baklava in the oven. Hoping you don't get shivved, Strong Sad.

{Cut to jail, which is just a cardboard box with seven slits cut in it sitting in the field. Strong Mad is visiting, and Strong Bad has a hairnet on. Judging by the tally marks on the inside of the cell, he and The Cheat have been there for a week.}

STRONG BAD: You gotta get us outta the joint, man! I don't think The Cheat is gonna make it.

{Cut to The Cheat, who is frothing at the mouth and has hair sticking all over the place, going crazy. He's standing by three metal cans marked Food, Water, and Eww.}

STRONG MAD: WRAH!

{Strong Mad lifts up the box}

STRONG BAD: Sweet lady freedom! Let's make out!

{The Cheat wipes off the froth and fixes his hair.}

THE CHEAT: {The Cheat noises, which sound like "Let's make out!"}

STRONG BAD: Hey, shut up! What, are you horning in on my girl? Only I get to make out with—

THE CHEAT: {corrective The Cheat noises}

STRONG BAD: Oh. Right. The escaping.

{They run off. Strong Mad puts the box down and stands there for a while, blinking, before holding up a yellow jackhammer labeled "JACK HAMMA!" smashed into a yellow cake with pink icing and put on a plate.}

STRONG MAD: I BROUGHT YOU A CAKE!

{Cut to the field. Marzipan is reading a newspaper, and Homestar walks up to her.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Hey, lady.

MARZIPAN: Homestar, did you know that crime is on the rise?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Yeah, no. Is it?

MARZIPAN: Yes, things are very serious now. So what are you going to do to protect me?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Um, I could put a dash between "Homestar" and "Runner" from now on.

MARZIPAN: Really? You'd do that for me?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {laughs} No, of course not.

{Marzipan frowns and glares. Strong Bad and The Cheat run past in the distance, carrying off the King of Town's crown.}

STRONG BAD: Oh man, The Cheat, we struck it rich this time! Now we can retire to da MOOOOOOOOOOOON!!

{Cut to inside police headquarters. Coach Z and Bubs are doing a police sketch of the thief of the King of Town's crown.}

BUBS: So, describe to me what the perpetrator looked like.

THE KING OF TOWN: Had a head like a big ol' round ol'...

BUBS: Okay...

THE KING OF TOWN: ...red ol'...

BUBS: Uh-huh...

THE KING OF TOWN: ...nasty ol' egg.

BUBS: I see...

THE KING OF TOWN: And hands looked like biscuit dough!

BUBS: Uh-huh. Is this the man?

{Bubs holds up a sketch of a guy in a sweater with the number 7 on it with biscuit dough hands and a craggy face, looking nothing like Strong Bad. He has a speech bubble saying "I did it!!"}

COACH Z: It was Biscuitdoughhandsman! I knew it!

{Cut to Strong Badia. Strong Bad and The Cheat are hiding out behind the fence, where they've stashed all their loot. Among their loot is a cookie jar that looks like Trivia Time, the framed picture titled "Thank You" from Marzipan's house, and some bags labeled "some savings". The Cheat is wearing the King of Town's crown.}

STRONG BAD: Come on, The Cheat! Quit being such an old The Cheat. We gotta come out of retirement for this one last job.

THE CHEAT: {replies}

STRONG BAD: Nononono, nononono! It's like this: the ransom money becomes the new retirement money. And the retirement money becomes the new college fund. And the college fund... eh, we blow on a really tricked-out van.

{The Cheat ponders, then agrees. Strong Bad turns aside and starts talking to himself}

STRONG BAD: Yes! Another victim claimed by Strong Bad's Powers of Persuasion. No living The Cheat can resist the P.O.P.

THE CHEAT: {annoyed The Cheat noises}

STRONG BAD: Hang on, I'm not done yet! {turns aside again} And eh... um... okay I was done. Let's go.

{Cut to the inside of the King of Town's castle, nighttime. The King of Town arrives home.}

THE KING OF TOWN: Poopsmith, I'm home! Man, I feel like some serious biscuit dough. Poopsmith? {goes outside} Poopsmith!

{Goes to the pile of whatsit. The shovel is there, the pile is there, but the Poopsmith is not.}

THE KING OF TOWN: Poopsmith?! {Zoom in on the shovel}

BACKGROUND VOICES: Dun-dun-DUN!

THE KING OF TOWN: THEY'VE STOLEN MY POOPSMITH!!

{Cut to the field. Homestar Runner and Pom Pom are there, and Homestar has a flashlight.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: All right, Pom Pom, the Poopsmith is missing, and we gots to find him. We're your first and last line of defense! Only you can prevent scouting! Boy, do we need forest fires!

{turns around for a second, and then turns back to Pom Pom}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: A-ha! Pom Pom! {clicks the flashlight on and shines it in his face} What are you doing out past curfew?

POM POM: {perplexed bubble noises}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Don't play games with me, Roundy-Man! Just who are you working with?

POM POM: {bubble noises}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Homestar Runner, eh? Sounds like a no-goodnik to me!

{Starts clicking the light on and off in Pom Pom's face, who's now very annoyed.}

POM POM: {annoyed bubble noises}

{Homestar sniffs him}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Pom Pom... did you step in something?

{Cut to Strong Badia, daytime, behind the fence. Frank Bennedetto, an iPod, and the Poopsmith are the latest additions to Strong Bad's stash. The Poopsmith is tied-up and duct-taped across the mouth.}

STRONG BAD: All right, doodiem'n. It's time to deliver my ultimate ultimatum. The Cheat! Ready with the viderocamera!

THE CHEAT: {The Cheat noises} {holds up a camera with "property of kevin" written on it. He begins filming.}

STRONG BAD: Wait, hang on! Almost forgot to disguise my identity. {puts on a red ski mask with a cutout for his nose} Now we're ready. Attention, whatever weirdos are concerned about the Poopsmith!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {off screen} Oh, hey Strong Bad. {camera pans to see Homestar standing right there, Pom Pom close behind}

STRONG BAD: What the—? Aww, holy crap! I thought I smelled bacon! How'd you find us?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: We followed this mysterious trail the Poopsmith left!

STRONG BAD: Eww!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: That, and we got an anonymous tip from Strong Sad.

{Strong Sad peeks out from behind the fence}

STRONG SAD: I told them you were behind the fence.

STRONG BAD: You sold me out. You sold me out! The Cheat, tell him that he... Oh, never mind.

{Coach Z and Bubs walk up}

BUBS: Oh, man! It's just Strong Bad.

COACH Z: Once again, Biscuitdoughhandsman slips through our fingers.

{They grab Strong Bad and The Cheat and drag them off, The Cheat making The Cheat noises in protest}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Well, kids and people, it just goes to show, Strong Sad doing tai chi is really, really funny.

{Strong Sad peeks out from behind the fence again}

STRONG SAD: Hey!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: What? It was! {Homestar starts imitating Strong Sad's tai chi} You were all like Pah-ku-lah! Honh! Pwing!

{Marzipan walks in with a plate full of baklava}

MARZIPAN: Who wants some bak-a-lava? {the cartoon fades out} Baka-mah-lava, anybody?

{The cartoon sits at the "THE END" screen for a while, then fades in to Marzipan's Answering Machine.}

MARZIPAN: {on the answering machine} Hi, this is Marzipan. {beep}

STRONG BAD: {on the answering machine} Hello, Marzipan! This is Professor Tor Coolguy! I was just calling to see if you'd be interested in PREPARING FOR YOUR DOOM!! Er...e... not really calling to see, uh... I shouldn't have really given you a choice, I mean, uh... you should just go ahead and prepare for your doom. Cause it's on its way, man. It's gonna be some doom. {beep}

{Cut to jail. Strong Mad is still outside the jail.}

STRONG BAD: {holding the can of 'eww' as if it were a tin-can telephone} Ho-ho! Great idea, The Cheat. Even on the inside, Professor Tor Coolguy cannot be stopped!

BACKGROUND VOICES: Dun-dun-DUN!

{the cartoon fades out again, back to the "THE END" page. After a while, it cuts to Strong Badia at nighttime, behind the fence. The loot isn't there anymore, but The Poopsmith is, tied-up and with duct-tape over his mouth. After a while, Homestar Runner walks up to him, clicking the flashlight on and off in his face.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: All right, buster, move it along here! Nothing to see, nothing to see! {continues to click the flashlight on and off in his face for a while, pauses, then pulls out the sketch of Biscuitdoughhandsman and clicks the flashlight back on} Is this you?

{Homestar clicks the flashlight off again. The cricket sounds fade out.}

[edit] Fun Facts

[edit] Explanations

  • "Shivved" is prison slang for being stabbed. A "shiv" is an improvised sharp knife-like weapon made in prison.
  • Baklava is a Turkish dessert, popular in Greece. A recipe for it can be found at EatGreekTonight.com.
  • The line "I thought I smelled bacon" refers to the derogatory term "pigs" for police. Phrases like this were often used on police or detective TV shows in the '70s by criminals and shady informants when the police show up unexpectedly.
  • Strong Mad baked a cake with a jack hammer in it for Strong Bad and The Cheat. It is a common cliché in movies for someone to bake a cake with a file in it and give it to someone in prison so that they can use the file to break out.

[edit] Trivia

  • The stolen goods that Strong Bad and The Cheat have stashed behind the fence were:
  • The newspaper Marzipan is reading says:
    The Latest News
    It's all true. All the
    rumors are true. The
    crime is on the rise
    in our very own
    town. Trust me on
    this one. I know
    what I'm talking
    about. No, wait. I
    don't. I make stuff
    up sometimes.
    That's cool, though,
    right? Good. I'll
    keep doing it then.
    It's a lot easy than
    fact checking. That
    stuff can be
    annoying.
    • This is then repeated eight times to fill up the paper.
  • After The Poopsmith is captured, Strong Sad's iPod is present behind Strong Bad near the fence. The screen of this device says:
    • playlists
    • songs
    • settings
  • The title of the page is "The Bighouse!". At one time, however, when the toon first appeared, the title was "Compy 386!!" just like a Strong Bad Email. This was fixed and changed to "The Bighouse!" within the first day.
  • The Fireworks are called "Fthoom-Bang Brand bottle rockets".
  • If the Floppy Disk Container in Strong Bad's computer room is zoomed in on during Strong Sad's tai chi, it reads "shogun". This complements the East-Asian–related furnishings in the room.
  • The Videro camera says "Property of Kevin."
  • Every main character except Homsar appears in this cartoon.

[edit] Remarks

He likes talking to his "seidal"
  • Pom Pom's Pom Pilot screen is flashing and reversed (icons for "Internet", "Solitaire", and "The Ladies" are on the wrong side of the screen and with the words backwards). There is also a blank spot where the "E-mail" icon was seen in the bird.
  • The Poopsmith's mouth is duct-taped shut, despite his vow of silence.
  • Strong Bad is wearing a hairnet when he is in "jail", but he has no hair, as he said in haircut.
  • According to the markings on the wall of the jail, The Cheat and Strong Bad have been in jail for about a week.
  • In the beginning, when The Cheat and Strong Bad are sneaking over to Bubs' Concession Stand, the noise of their walking sounds like gravel. However, once the camera zooms in, what they're walking on is revealed to be grass.
  • As Coach Z is dragging The Cheat and Strong Bad to jail, Strong Bad's feet make mud tracks, yet The Cheat's feet leave no tracks. This could possibly be explained by the fact that The Cheat is lighter.
  • The Bear holding a Shark is missing from behind the fence.
  • Homestar's flashlight makes two clicks when he turns it on and off, like a push-button flashlight. It appears to have a switch though, which should make only one click.

[edit] Goofs

  • Strong Bad's shadow in the concession stand's door shows him without his balaclava.
  • During the scene with Homestar and Pom Pom trying to find the Poopsmith, the Homestar and Pom Pom sprites are shown at full brightness, even though it's dark outside, and even though Homestar was shown in the dark earlier in the cartoon at 75% brightness.
  • In two of the mugshots, Strong Bad's right eye is smaller than his left.
  • The doorknob to the concession stand overlaps the doorframe, so assuming that there is a knob on the other side, the door wouldn't be able to open at all.
  • Coach Z walks in after Strong Bad says "You sold me out!". When he walks out, the Z on his medallion is backwards.

[edit] Inside References

[edit] Real-World References

  • Tai Chi is "an internal Chinese martial art often practiced with the aim of promoting health and longevity."
    • The characters in the background as Strong Sad is practicing Tai Chi are, on the left, the three characters for Tai Chi (Mandarin taijiquan), and on the right, the two characters for Qigong, a system of motion and breathing similar to Tai Chi.
  • Homestar's quote "Only you can prevent scouting! Boy do we need forest fires!" is a mix-up of two popular slogans: "Only YOU can prevent forest fires!", the (pre-2001) catchphrase of Smokey Bear; and "Boy, do we need scouting!", a quote used by the Boy Scouts of America and attributed to former President and Eagle Scout Gerald Ford.
  • Prof. Tor Coolguy is a sort of play on Sol Badguy, a character from Guilty Gear.
  • The Cheat's "Henchman" shirt at the start of this cartoon is a homage to the shirts worn by the henchmen on the old '60s "Batman" show. The villains' lackeys wore shirts with their cheesy codename on them. The shirts were almost always black with plain white lettering.
  • The series of sirens and buzzes that Homestar Runner makes when he discovers Strong Bad and The Cheat (each time interrupting Strong Bad as he tries to say "Oh no, we've been found out") is a takeoff on the well-known Viper car alarm.
  • Strong Bad wearing a hairnet while incarcerated is a nod to O Brother, Where Art Thou? and the character Ulysses Everet McGill's wearing a hairnet to sleep.

[edit] Fast Forward

  • The newspaper Marzipan was reading in this cartoon was used again in secret recipes and candy product.
  • In the Email other days, Strong Bad mentions his arrest.
    • Likewise, this may have been mentioned by Marzipan in A Death-Defying Decemberween, when she comments that his hot chocolate is a "wonderful byproduct of [his] parole".
  • Strong Bad's plans to use the "college fund" to buy a "really tricked-out van" is later reused in Strong Bad is a Bad Guy, in which it's revealed that he has a "master plan" to "buy a custom conversion van".
  • The Fthoom-Bang brand bottle rockets reappear in Date Nite.
  • Professor Coolguy supplies Coolguy's Law in slumber party.
  • The hat worn by Strong Bad reappears in Homestar Ruiner.
  • Strong Sad wanted Strong Bad to go back to jail in Strong Badia The Free when Strong Bad is placed under house arrest.
  • The music that plays in the opening credits appears in Homestar Ruiner when Strong Bad is trying to sneak into the King of Town's castle.

[edit] DVD Version

  • The DVD version features creators' commentary. To access it, switch your DVD player's audio language selection while watching.
  • The scene with the Poopsmith is made into a separate, selectable egg instead of a waiting egg.

[edit] Commentary Transcript

(Commentary by: Matt Chapman, Mike Chapman, Ryan Sterritt)

MATT: Take it away, Ryan.

MIKE: Ryan Sterritt's gonna do this whole commentary by himself!

RYAN: Ohhh... I am... I like the fireworks that are coming up. Not saying that much, Mike.

MIKE: You're on your own, man.

RYAN: I'm on my own here. It's gonna be a good one.

MIKE: Ryan's visibly nervous, guys.

MATT: Yeah, we won't make him—

MIKE: We'll bail him out.

RYAN: Bail me out like I'm in jail.

{Matt and Mike cheer.}

MATT: Apropos!

MIKE: This guy's like... Spartus attack.

MATT: {laughs} So The Cheat is wearing, uh, one of the Henchman sweaters that he borrowed from one of the Joker's Henchmen from the '60s Batman—

MIKE: Movie this time!

MATT: Yeah.

MIKE: Not from that one episode that everything else is from.

MATT: That's true! That's true.

MIKE: It's from the Batman movie.

MATT: There's some sweet shadow effects coming off from those flashes there.

MIKE: Yeah, you did those, good job.

MATT: I'll tell the same story that I did on our first run of this commentary where there was this guy that parked next to the parking place that I rode to school in the car of in...?

MIKE: {chuckling}

MATT: ...to high school...?

RYAN: {laughs}

MIKE: Robert Frost!

MATT: Uhh, anyways, and he had that very same car alarm that went through the different alarms and every day when we would leave school and kick his tires and set it off.

RYAN: As you should.

MATT: Yeah. What's a 16-year-old need with a car alarm living in Dunwoody, Georgia? That's what I want to know.

RYAN: What does a car alarm really get you?

MIKE: Yeah, in these days you just ignore them.

MATT: Yeah.

RYAN: Yeah.

MATT: If movies tell me anything, it means nothing. You just drive off with the alarm going on and lay low for a while...across the border. {Commenting on "Prisoner #5408} That's the street number of a friend of ours. A former street number of a friend of ours.

MIKE: A former friend of ours.

MATT: No, no!

MIKE: That guy... I don't even know who it is.

MATT: {laughs} Umm... {Strong Sad is talking about Tai Chi} What's he playing there?

MIKE: Uh—

MATT: I can't even—I can't even tell.

MIKE: The disk in the diskette.

MATT: It might have been Shogun.

{Unintelligible}

MIKE: ...So you were, in the first run of the commentary, you also said there was an alternate take where it's not only his Tai Chi space but his Chai tea space.

RYAN: I remember that.

MATT: That's right. It was Quote of the Day recently.

MIKE: Oh. That's a funny joke, Tai Chi and Chai tea.

MATT: Yeah. {Strong Mad lifts up the jail and The Cheat fixes his fur.} Lookit—did you see The Cheat grin, really Mike-animatidly fixes his hair in the background...

MIKE: That's—That's just mean. That's just mean-spirited.

MATT: I'm just kidding. I might have even animated this whole part, I dunno.

RYAN: I think I did, actually.

{Matt and Mike laugh.}

MATT: Jack Hamma! We should make a... Sledge-Hammer-type '70s TV show called Jack Hamma. What do you think of the "Yeah, no" phenomenon, Ryan, where if I'm asking you something and I say, "Hey Ryan, did you see the new stuff about apple.com?" And you say, "Yeah, no!" "Uhh, they did this."

RYAN: It's also like the "I'm not sayin'; I'm just sayin'" phenomenon.

MATT: Right, exactly.

RYAN: I'm not sayin', but... I'm just sayin'.

MATT: You're clearly sayin'.

RYAN: {chuckles}

MIKE: {Strong Bad and The Cheat are running with the King of Town's crown.} Look at The Cheat moving there, he's just kind of gliding along!

MATT: {laughs} Slithering.

MIKE: Slytherin?

MATT: Shut up. {laughs} Um, so for some reason in this cartoon, Ryan...Homestar, Coach Z, and Bubs, and sort of Pom Pom are some kind of law...governing...agency. And no—And never again really.

MIKE: {Screen transition showing Strong Badia} Camera move.

MATT: Yeah, it was a nice camera move. Thanks.

MIKE: Mondo.

MATT: It's Trivia Time! They've taken Trivia Time from off of Marzipan and/or Homestar's kitchen shelf.

MIKE: I don't think we've really established whose kitchen that is.

MATT: I think people assume it's Marzipan's.

MIKE: Yeah, I think it's Marzipan's.

MATT: Dude, I don't want to hint at any cohabitation here, okay?

MIKE: {awkward pause} Me neither.

RYAN: {laughs}

MATT: Okay! I'm with you! Um, so the tricked-out van, um, you see in that Strong Bad is a Bad Guy... Mario Paint cartoon.

MIKE: Uh huh.

MATT: He wants to get a custom conversion van. It's a recurring dream of his.

MIKE: What do you think the King of Town's coming back from?

MATT: Feeding?

MIKE: You think he's just coming back from—?

MATT: Yeah, from the station.

MIKE: Okay, he went directly home? You don't think he stopped anywhere in between?

MATT: Naw.

MIKE: {quietly} Dun-dun-duh.

MATT: Hey let's all do it, all three of us. Ready?

ALL: Dun-dun-duhh!

MIKE: It sounds a little better with Ryan, doesn't it?

MATT: Yeah.

RYAN: The trio.

MATT: Do the—Yeah, you do the high part, Ryan, this time.

RYAN: Uh oh.

MATT: Ready?

RYAN & MATT: Dun-dun—!

MATT: Duhhh!

RYAN: {high singing} Duhhh? {lower} Duhh.

MIKE: {chuckles} Yeah.

RYAN: We're good, we're good.

MATT: Yeah.

RYAN: Is that a real flashlight sound?

MATT: Uh, it is, it's from my Maglite.

RYAN: Ooh. Is that one where you push in—?

MATT: Yeah, it's a little plungery-looking guy.

RYAN: Mm-hmm.

MATT: My six-cell Maglite. That I got for my twenty-fourth birthday.

RYAN: Was there ever a Biscuitdoughhandsman shirt?

MIKE: Nah, I wish there was.

MATT: Yeah. Let's do that. The Biscuit Dough Man on one side and Montenegro on the other side.

{Mike and Ryan laugh.}

MIKE: "Oh yes?"

MATT: Top-seller.

MIKE: We would sell... one—

MATT: The three of us.

MIKE: —to me! Oh, the three—All three of us would buy it.

MATT: Look, they stole that video tape—that video camera, rather, from Kevin. The same Kevin that called Marzipan, you think?

MIKE: I think so!

MATT: That ski mask gives Strong Bad magical reverb!

{All laugh}

MATT: —when he puts it on.

MIKE: But—No, it's not the ski mask because he's still got it on!

MATT: He turned it off! He turned it off.

MIKE: Oh, oh.

MATT: Variable speed.

{Matt and Mike chuckle.}

MATT: Um, they stole Senor Cardgage's Aldi bag. So that's further—further, uh, evidence that maybe Senor really exists.

MIKE: —he does exist?

MATT: Yeah, if his Aldi bag full of candy bars is floating around out there. {pause} Uh, our niece used to do Homestar's impression of Strong Sad here a lot, and she would jump down on her knees here at the end, and I was always afraid she was gonna, like, break her knees or bruise her legs up real bad. {Homestar goes "Pwing!" and lands on his knees}

MIKE: {chuckles a little} She would jump—!

MATT: She would do that really violently and we were like, "What are you doing??", and finally she would tell us that she was doing her Homestar impression.

MIKE: —of... Strong Sad.

MATT: {mocking Marzipan's "Baka-mah-lava" in a high voice} Mah-nah deh-teh-teh?? {Cartoon ends, more or less} So, we've got a bit more time here, guys.

MIKE: Oh, we do?

MATT: Yeah.

MIKE: Ryan?

MATT: Tor Coolguy.

RYAN: Tor Coolguy.

MIKE: {softly} ohhh...

{Pause. The gang mumbles at once, not knowing what to say.}

MATT: This is the last commentary we're doing on the DVD, guys!

MIKE: Hey, good job guys!

RYAN: We did a great job.

MIKE: We all stepped up.

RYAN: Round of applause?

{They clap.}

MIKE: Wooo!

RYAN: We gave our A-game.

MIKE: We gave our A-game to them.

RYAN: Hundred and ten... percent.

MATT: Yeah... what else? The Cheat's all messed up again, already. {laughter} You put him in that box and his hair—

MIKE: He's been in there for seven days!

[edit] Fun Facts

  • Sledge Hammer! was a mid-'80s TV show parodying the "cop on the edge" character type.
  • At one point, the word "Slithering" is mispronounced "Slytherin". Slytherin House is one of the dorms at Hogwarts Academy in the Harry Potter series of books.

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