User:RickTommy/Sbemailwriteups

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[edit] Anonymous Contributor

"Why don't you go... write a poem or something and not attribute it to yourself!"

Anonymous Contributor (also called Anonymous and Anonny) is a depiction of Strong Sad on lined paper, but with a question mark where his face would normally be. He was inspired by the author of the email rock opera, who wrote under the name "Anonymous Contributor" of Gambier, Ohio. Instead of treating the email's author as an anonymous person, Strong Bad went on to describe the unfortunate effects of actually being named "Anonymous", creating this character in the process. In one scene, Anonymous had his hands glued to his butt, just as Strong Sad did in 1 step ahead. The association between Anonymous and Strong Sad may have come from Strong Bad is in Jail Cartoon, in which Homestar Runner says he found Strong Bad thanks to "an anonymous tip from Strong Sad", though it could also be the fact that Anonymous was being made fun of, something which Lil' Strong Bad would have done to Lil' Strong Sad as a kid. In Fan Costumes 2016, a fan dresses up as Anonymous, which is so obscure a costume that Strong Bad has to consult the Homestar Runner Wiki to figure out what it is. (more...)

[edit] A Decemberween Mackerel

"My coma's toast..."

A Decemberween Mackerel was released on December 14, 2010, after eight months of no major updates to homestarrunner.com, and serves as the Decemberween toon of the year. The toon begins with Homestar Runner wondering why he and Marzipan are slogging through the snow with a dish of bean sprouts. Marzipan announces that they're bringing a hot meal to the less-fortunate... in this case, Senor Cardgage. After being disturbed my Cardgage's mannerisms, Homestar leaves, but much to Marzipan's shock, Senor Cardgage claims to be... dying! Back at Marzipan's house, Marzipan announces the bad news, and ropes Homestar into cramming Senor Cardgage with enough holiday cheer to produce a live-saving Decemberween miracle. But even equipped with Homestar's tinsel-wrapped cram-rod, nothing seems to work: carolling, posing for a greeting card photo (complete with an overly enthusiastic letter "to brag about our family"), holiday shopping at Bubs' Concession Stand, and even lighting a telephone pole draped in lights in a vaguely tree-shaped fashion don't seem to help Senor's terminal condition... until Strong Bad barges in. Strong Bad reveals the only cure for Senor Cardgage's condition... but what could it be? watch (more...)

[edit] Which Ween Costumes?

"I think we may have gotten our... 'weens' crossed."

Which Ween Costumes?, a toon done in the style of the endings of Halloween toons but with a Decemberween theme, was released on December 23, 2010 to compensate for the lack of a Halloween toon that year (due to a Homestar Runner hiatus), and was itself the latest toon for over three years, until the release of April Fool 2014. watch (more...)

[edit] April Fool 2014

"You got this, Homestar. This is nothin'."

On April Fools' Day 2014, homestarrunner.com had its first major update in over three years. watch (more...)

[edit] Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 17.2

"OH DANG MUFFINS PIE À LA MODE!"
Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 17.2, released on April Fools' Day 2016, is the seventeenth in a series of toons featuring messages left by various citizens of Free Country, USA for Marzipan to hear, as well as the first one since Version 16.2 seven years earlier, and the first overall Homestar Runner update since Fan Costumes 2015 five months earlier. It is also by far the longest Homestar Runner toon, being nearly four times the length of I Killed Pom Pom or Puppets on the Road, and is notably a YouTube embed as opposed to a Flash file. watch (more...)

[edit] space program

"Nice work, The Strap!"

In space program, the 138th Strong Bad Email, Ryan asks Strong Bad if Strong Badia has a space program. Strong Bad boasts that since even the Italians have a space program these days, of course Strong Badia has one: the Strong Badian Administration of Some Aluminum Foil, or SBASAF for short. Their latest mission involves sending fifteen "Earth dollars" into space, where "according to our vague understanding of the theory of relativity", it will age into a million dollars. Only one man is good enough at video games for a mission of this caliber: "First Lieuteneral Space Captainface" (AKA Strong Bad). With the help of onboard mechanic Harold "Strap" Coopmore (AKA The Cheat) and Flight Engineer Ted Averill (AKA the Tire), Space Captainface will pilot the Proud Anselmo, flagship of SBASAF's 30-vessel fleet, and impress lots of hot 60s-looking girls. In reality, this works out to Strong Bad and The Cheat riding around in a bunch of cardboard boxes taped together, with Strong Mad providing "escape velocity" effects and a CD of goofy sound effects (that cost them the fifteen bucks intended for the mission). At least the CD provides a humorous "body falling down the stairs" sound, and some appropriate laser sound effects when fighting off a "space myoo-tant from Satriani 5" (AKA Homestar Runner with a sweater stuck over his head). An outtake, which shows the pre-flight check, was released alongside this email on DVD. watch (more...)

[edit] portrait

Done by a Deutsch Master.

In portrait, the 139th Strong Bad Email, Strong Bad answers a question from Dylan Bragers (aka Coolio da Fabio) asking if he's ever considered having a portrait commissioned of himself. He considers it being done by a Deutsch Master; in the style of the black-and-white ink portraits seen in "rich guy newspapers"; the sort that look like they're made out of Morse code, or a black velvet portrait of himself hunting skunks, to be showcased "in only the finest double-wide trailers" alongside blacklight posters of unicorns on snowmobiles. However, as Strong Bad doesn't know anyone with a Master of Fine Arts degree, he relies Strong Mad and The Cheat. The Cheat is still taking his sweet time on a hand-sculpted (or rather, mouth-gnawed) wooden sculpture of Strong Bad, while the best Strong Mad can manage is a glitter-coated macaroni painting. Strong Bad decides it's time for a self-portrait... in the form of a cheap photo cut-out of a muscular version of himself with a "keyswordtar" and a hawk. Unfortunately, his head gets stuck inside; he passes the time plotting his escape from the cut-out by chatting it up with Lord Quackingstick and Princess Shellbra (both played by a duck-head toy). watch (more...)

[edit] secret identity

""You get back here with that remote, Jeffrey Beffrey Mudgeman. I'm not afraid to smack—"

In secret identity, the 142nd Strong Bad Email, Chris asks Strong Bad if he has a secret identity. Strong Bad at first claims that he and The Poopsmith have never been seen together, but this is quickly put to the lie when the Poopsmith shows up in the computer room along with Homestar Runner, who was the one who let him in, and also used up the last of the mayonnaise for the Poopsmith's hamburger. Strong Bad does have several secret identities, at least. When he's travelling on business and doesn't want to be bothered by legions of fans, he uses the alias "Tip Tappers, Expensive Briefcase Carrier", as seen when he checks in at Bubs' Motor Lodge, alongside such names as Mr. Dee Williams, AKA Homestar. Strong Bad also claims to have a secret second family in the town of Broiter Grove, whom he visits as "Vance Mudgeman". His visits mostly consist of sitting around watching TV in a trailer home and making threats at the kids when they act up. Strong Bad also writes an advice column for Scarfgirl magazine under the name "Cara Carabowditbowdit". Marzipan isn't too impressed by Miss Carabowditbowdit's advice, or her "pseudoname", but Homestar thinks Marzipan envies her popularity with the hot boys. The email ends with Strong Bad sending Homestar, the Poopsmith, and The King of Town out of his house. watch (more...)

[edit] narrator

"They werea couple in love..."

In narrator, the 144th Strong Bad Email, Grant Gossman wants to know if Strong Bad has ever done narration for movie trailers. Strong Bad replies that he has not, but he finds it more fun to narrate peoples' everyday lives like they're movie trailers:

  • Strong Sad enjoying a "Rogan Josh pot pie" is interrupted by an octopus in the face in "Whined and Dined".
  • "In a post-apocalyptic world where weird old men survive on boring conversations", an argument between Coach Z and Bubs over a used napkin leads to an epic showdown in "Factor Z".
  • Homestar Runner and Marzipan are a couple in love, until a dorky chef's hat threatens to tear them apart.
  • Homsar presumably has a movie of his own, with one scene consisting of him floating in the Field.
  • The Poopsmith is the subject of "Whatsit All About?", "a four-hour film with no plot and no dialogue" from "some smelly French studio".
  • Strong Mad and The Cheat are "Lugnut and Squeak", "two unlikely partners" with "one brain between them".
  • "For hundreds of years, it has haunted mankind"... "it" being the dead goose that pops out of the dryer and smacks Strong Sad in the face in "Things That Go Dump in the Night".

watch (more...)

[edit] more armies

""The Homestarmy has a career for you in the no-armed forces!"

In more armies, the 172nd Strong Bad Email, Paul asks Strong Bad if his three sons can get some information on joining the Strong Badian army. Strong Bad, after pointing out that Strong Badia doesn't have or need an army (which he previously said in the email of the same name), waits three weeks for the Vaguely Military Career Fair, which he spends by helping The Cheat (Tito) and Strong Mad with their magic act. At the fair, Strong Bad talks about the On Point Kings, who specialise in "black ops, brown ops, and the occasional beige op" and have an impressive-looking brochure printed on 65-pound card-stock and made with a pirated version of QuarkXpress. Next up is The King of Town, who is busy drinking giblet gravy, but has a very inspiring informational video on joining the forces of the Municipality, which features The Poopsmith dramatically climbing the wall of the King's castle. Lastly, Homestar Runner enthusiastically recruits "five-bucks havers" into the "no-armed forces" of the Homestarmy. After Strong Bad suggests that each of Paul's sons enter a different of the three armies, The Paper appears crumpled and ripped, which Strong Bad describes as "a bad sign". It would eventually be replaced by New Paper in the following email, which was predicted in montage. watch (more...)

[edit] videography

"You name it! I'll videographa... fize it!"
In videography, the 205th Strong Bad Email, Robert McSwain asks Strong Bad to be a "videographer" for his wedding. This email is notable for being the last one for nearly five-and-a-half years, most of which consisted of an overall Homestar Runner hiatus. The Strong Bad Email was finally released on April Fools' Day 2015. watch (more...)

[edit] sbemail206

"Just like the previous model, only crappier. I mean, more expensive. I mean, lappier."

On April Fools' Day 2015, the 206th Strong Bad Email, the aptly titled sbemail206, was released after five months of no updates to homestarrunner.com, and nearly five-and-a-half years after the previous email, videography. Herein, Strong Bad checks emails on several kitchen appliances, before remembering the Compé. However, years of non-use have caused the Compé to be covered in dust, which has fortunately converted it into a new computer called the Lappier, which resembles the Lappy 486. watch (more...)

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