New Paper

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Preeow 2.0

New Paper was the replacement for the original paper after its printer broke in the 173rd email, the paper (just as foretold in the email montage). It usually reads:

Click here to email Strong Bad

Unlike its predecessor, New Paper came from an inkjet printer capable of printing color, although it was permanently short of ink. It usually featured color pictures of a key from a keyboard reading "@" and Strong Bad's head in an envelope to the left and right of the text, respectively. Like The Paper, New Paper normally printed out upside-down, yet it was somehow losing ink on its leading edge, rather than the trailing edge.

Its first printing sound effect, according to Strong Bad, was "Heunh heownh heunh heownh vvvvvt eangt clonk-a-donk". The sound effect was shortened to "vvvvvt eangt clonk-a-donk" beginning with New Paper's second appearance in mini-golf.

New Paper was destroyed at the end of hremail 3184 when the Lappy 486 exploded. It was briefly replaced with Envelope Paper for the following email, imaginary, before a new replacement, Compé-per, was adopted by Strong Bad in independent. The "vvvvvt" is later used as the photo booth's printer in Haunted Photo Booth.

[edit] Strong Bad's initial reactions to New Paper

There you go! See? That was a punchline!

Beginning with New Paper's introduction and through the five emails that followed, there was a running gag involving Strong Bad's displeasure with it:

  • In the paper, Strong Bad dislikes the new sound that New Paper makes. He declares that it is on "trial status" and insists that it impress him. New Paper's first attempt at doing so was to print out an ASCII picture of a butt made from hyphens and dollar signs, which was judged to be a partial success.
  • In mini-golf, New Paper comes down early while Strong Bad was still answering the email. He then angrily tells it to go back up. In the end, when New Paper comes down in time, he asks if it's ever not running out of ink.
  • In concert, Strong Bad further expresses his displeasure with the sound that New Paper makes, and sticks a floppy disk in it to make more of a scratchy sound.
  • In hygiene, Strong Bad is disappointed further when New Paper runs a calibration test (though you can still click on it to email Strong Bad), also remarking that it keeps sucking just enough to stay interesting.
  • In original, Strong Bad asks New Paper to disappoint him. It responds by falling off the screen after printing. Strong Bad comments that when it comes to disappointing, New Paper never disappoints.
  • In bike thief, New Paper is printed with the old Paper's green and white stripe design. This doesn't fool Strong Bad, but he admits it does make him feel "a little better".

New Paper came down in a separate area from Strong Bad in the next two emails (pizza joint and slumber party), and so web comics marked the first time Strong Bad did not take the opportunity to insult it. It then managed to print itself out without any problems, setbacks, or criticisms, until it was beaten up by The Paper in email thunder.

[edit] Abnormal Sayings

Just like The Paper, New Paper has displayed messages other than the standard "Click here to email Strong Bad" link.

  • In the email the paper, it prints out an ASCII picture of a butt made from hyphens and dollar sign above the usual email information, along with the text "but, a butt".
  • In the email concert, it reads "How ya like me now?" above the usual email information.
  • In the email hygiene, it runs a calibration test as opposed to the usual email information. Clicking on it will produce the usual response.
  • In the email environment, it prints with the text "Click gently to eco-mail Strong Bad" and "printed on 100% post-consumer brown paper with green ink". The pictures have been replaced with small green pine trees with @-symbols inside.
  • In the DVD, podcast, and YouTube versions of Strong Bad Emails, it simply reads, "the end", just like The Paper did in the previously mentioned versions, but with no capitalization. The images of the "@" key and Strong Bad's head in an envelope are present as well.
  • In the short Place Ya Bets!, it reads "Place your bets, people!"
  • In the email email thunder, it lists Homestar Runner's name and email address ( instead of Strong Bad's. It is then beaten up by the returning The Paper.
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