Joystick Wagglin' with Videlectrix: Halloween Edition

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"Welcome to the weekly waggle!"

The Videlectrix Guys review "one of the classics of the horror survival genre", the Atari 2600 game Haunted House.

Cast (in order of appearance): Videlectrix Guys

Date: October 26, 2016

Running Time: 3:09

Transcript

{Joystick Wagglin' title sequence}

VIDELECTRIX 3: Welcome, everyone. Here we are at the—

VIDELECTRIX 1: Welcome to the Weekly Waggle. I can't hear you, are you—can you hear me? {blows into the mic}

VIDELECTRIX 3: Yeah—

VIDELECTRIX 1: Welcome to the Weekly Waggle.

VIDELECTRIX 3: Speak down. Okay, I'm Videlectrix—

VIDELECTRIX 1: {shouting} Welcome to the Weekly Waggle, I am Videlectrix One!

VIDELECTRIX 3: I'm Videlectrix Two over here on the—

VIDELECTRIX 1: {slapping sound} You are Videlectrix Three!

VIDELECTRIX 3: I'm—okay, uh—

VIDELECTRIX 1: We discussed this! You will never be Number Two!

VIDELECTRIX 3: I'm Three. I'm Thr—

VIDELECTRIX 1: Until you can... graphic it up! This week we are playing one of the classics of hor—the horror-survival genre.

VIDELECTRIX 3: {spooky voice} Haunted House!

VIDELECTRIX 1: That's pretty—that was actually pretty good. {The game begins.} So, look at that. Full— full eyeball rotation...

VIDELECTRIX 3: Left! Right! Look down, left, right...

VIDELECTRIX 1: Yeah, I can't decide where. The game hasn't even started yet. I haven't hit Game Select.

VIDELECTRIX 3: What'd you do?

VIDELECTRIX 1: That's my candlelight. I'm holding a candelabra and I have only 30 matches to save the haunted house. Oh!

VIDELECTRIX 3: {screams}

VIDELECTRIX 1: Oh, there it is! A spectral—oh! Oh! Waah! What is that? Oh, there's another one!

VIDELECTRIX 3: It's doing—

VIDELECTRIX 1: Oh, man, what is it doing?

VIDELECTRIX 3: Jumping jacks?

VIDELECTRIX 1: An insect—yeah, calisthenics. Okay, we gotta get out—oh, a four! I found a four. I found the four. Woof, the pulse—I tell ya, this game needs a Pee-Pants-Ometer down there at the bottom.

VIDELECTRIX 3: Yeah, I can work one up. I mean, gimme a second.

VIDELECTRIX 1: You typing it up?

VIDELECTRIX 3: Yeah, working on it!

VIDELECTRIX 1: Well, bring it on-screen. We'll superimpose.

VIDELECTRIX 3: That's it!

{A blue pant leg appears in the corner of the screen.}

VIDELECTRIX 1: That's the Pee-Pants-Ometer?

VIDELECTRIX 3: I could only do one leg of the pant. See? That's the crotch part.

VIDELECTRIX 1: You can't—this is a family wholesome Waggle. You can't say—here, bleep me out. You can't say crotch—

VIDELECTRIX 3: Bleep!

VIDELECTRIX 1: You came in late, do it again. You can't say crotch—

VIDELECTRIX 3: Bleep!

VIDELECTRIX 1: —on the Weekly Waggle. Whatever that's supposed to be, fill it up, 'cause I have soiled myself through and through. Oh! The walls stained with blood! Here, look at that.

{The Pee-Pants-Ometer fills with several yellow rectangles.}

VIDELECTRIX 3: Why can't we see the rest of our body in the, um, candlelight?

VIDELECTRIX 1: What do you mean? We see—

VIDELECTRIX 3: The flicker should show the rest of our body.

VIDELECTRIX 1: It's an artistical choice!

VIDELECTRIX 3: Okay.

VIDELECTRIX 1: Have you ever experienced artistical film?

VIDELECTRIX 3: I—yeah.

VIDELECTRIX 1: Hey, that made a different sound. You hear that?

VIDELECTRIX 3: Do you really know what we're doing in this game?

VIDELECTRIX 1: Well—well, sure, we've got to assemble the shards and, uh, the scepter, and then, uh, make the squares go through one of the black squares.

VIDELECTRIX 3: Look at the font on those numbers. It's quite scriptic.

VIDELECTRIX 1: Yeah, like it's from the 1800s. The umpteen-hundreds! Ha! That's how many times I've had to ask you {screaming} TO MAKE GOOD GRAPHICS!

VIDELECTRIX 3: Um.

VIDELECTRIX 1: Look at that! We won! We stumbled right into the winning of the game.

VIDELECTRIX 3: Let's, uh—okay, let's see what we get.

VIDELECTRIX 1: I can't wait to see the reward. Any second, comin' up.

VIDELECTRIX 3: Wait, can we still move the eyes? Even after we've won?

VIDELECTRIX 1: Oh, that's the reward!

VIDELECTRIX 3: From the grave?

VIDELECTRIX 1: Now everyone can go change their drawers. Time for a fresh pair!

{The yellow rectangles in the Pee-Pants-Ometer slowly deplete until there are none left.}

Fun Facts

Trivia

• One of the Atari 2600 cartridges visible in the intro is of Paul Slocum's game Marble Craze.
  • Another Atari 2600 cartridge visible in the intro is the Synthcart, also made by Paul Slocum and used by The Brothers Chaps to make the music for 50K Racewalker.

Inside References

• Joystick Wagglin' first appeared as one of the fake YouTube Related Video Thumbnails.
• The Pee-Pants-Ometer combines peeing and pants.

Real World References

• The video parodies Let's Plays, a recent genre of videos that feature playthroughs of video games, often with the commentary of the player.

External Links

• Watch "Joystick Wagglin' with Videlectrix: Halloween Edition"