I Killed Pom Pom

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Revision as of 01:21, 31 October 2014

Toon Category: Holiday Toon
watch Halloween Safety Homestarloween Party
"It's time to fight murder with murder!"

Homestar tries to cover up his "murder" of Pom Pom.

Cast (in order of appearance): Homestar Runner, Pom Pom, Strong Bad, Bubs, Coach Z, The King of Town, The Poopsmith, Homsar (Easter egg), Strong Mad, The Cheat, Strong Sad, Marzipan.

Places: The Field, Bubs' Concession Stand, The King of Town's castle, Basement of the Brothers Strong, Marzipan's House.

Contents

Transcript

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Homestar: Oh man Pom Pom, this Halloween is gonna be the Christmas ball! Hot tricks, cool treats, good friends, and MURDER!

Pom Pom: bubbles

Homestar: What? Murder? Nah, that doesn't sound like something I would say. I was probably talking about the crazy cool air, the falling leaves settling, the MURDER!

Pom Pom: bubbles

Homestar: Nah man, you're hearing things, I was just talking about MURDER. And like this time of years there's sometimes a little bit of MURDER, and maybe a little bit of MURDER. I would never say anything about- WAH! Murder! Pom Pom! What happened? Did you get popped? Say a few bubbles! You can't be dead! You're my only friend and concubine! Oh I should really look up what that word means!

Strong Bad: Woah, what manner of stitch witchery have I stumbled upon this Hallows-eve?

Homestar: Oh Strong Bad, I think my evil jealous side secretly killed Pom Pom without even telling my dopey lovable side!

Strong Bad: Okay, Homestar. Unckie Strong Bad is gonna help you get through this. Now, tell me exactly what happened.

Homestar: Well, it all started 117 days ago... A sign pops up that say four hours later. Cut back to The Field at night, with Strong Bad and Homestar in costume.

Homestar: ...and I turned back around, and there was a puddle of Pom Pom at my feet!

Strong Bad: And no one else saw anything?

Homestar: No one! Well, there was that inflatable pumpkin, but I'm pretty sure he said he had a previous engagement. Man, I like that pumpkin. I should really get his phone number.

Strong Bad: Well, it definitely sounds like you killed Pom Pom. First thing you need to do is dispose of the body. Here, go to Bubs' and get everything on this laminated murder cover-up check list. Plus a twelver of Cold Ones and a dozen Maple Bismarck's. For the cover up. Than meet me back at my basement.

Homestar: Thanks Strong Bad, you're a real cartoon pall!

Strong Bad: Oh, this is gonna be a real good night. cut to Bubs' Concession Stand

Bubs: Heh heh, I'd like to see those teenagers try to egg the concession stand this year, now that I own an ostrich farm!

Coach Z: Boy I'll say! And these Pina Colladas are top notch!

Homestar: Oh hey there, say there Bubs!

Bubs: Happy Halloween, Homestar!

Coach Z: Yeah! And I'm standing here!

Homestar: Just the essentials tonight, just the essentials. A 50 gallon drum of bleach...

Bubs: Check.

Homestar: ...and a 50 gallon drum of saw blades...

Bubs: Sounds good.

Homestar: ...and a 50 gallon drum of body bags.

Bubs: Reasonable.

Homestar: Boy Homestar, you've got this. These guys don't expect a thing! Just order these last few everyday items and we're in the clear! Um... I need a... twelve-pack of cold ones, and um... a dozen maple bismarcks I DON'T KNOW WHAT BISMARCKS ARE I KILLED POM POM.

Bubs: Simmer down Homestar, we've all made quote unquote mistakes.

Coach Z: Yeah, who hasn't slipped up and enganged in a little, quote unquote, pre-meditated murder in cold blood. Am I right?

Homestar: So what do I do now?

Bubs: You need to establish an alibi!

Coach Z: Yeah, with witnesses! And if you's can swing it, wetnesses!

Homestar: Okay, I can do that, I can do that, I can do that, I can do that-

Bubs: Homestar!

Homestar: Yep, sorry, got it, pweow!

Bubs: Good kid, that Homestar... should we light him up?

Coach Z: Absalortly!

cut to the castle

King Of Town: Gah, I keep telling you Poopsmith, I didn't do it, stop acting like my dad!

Homestar: {talking into a "burner" phone"} What? Yeah, I've been here all the live-long day. At the KOT's castle, or as I like to call it, alibi city. Who? Pom Pom? Never heard of him! Sounds like someone who is still alive, though. Okay corroborating witness, bye! Click!

King Of Town: Ahem!

Homestar: Oh! Hey Can Of Town, Tootsmith, you guys hear that legitimate conversation I was just having? So legitimate.

King Of Town: So you've been hear at the castle all day?

Homestar: Yep! Right here! Innocent as charged!

King Of Town: Ah-ha! I told you I didn't eat your pile of whatsit! It was him!

Homestar: Oh crap... litteral crap...

poopsmith looks menacing

Homestar: Ah! Objection! Leading the witness! {runs off}

{cut to The Basement. Strong Bad, Strong Mad, The Cheat, and Pom Pom are sitting around.}

Strong Bad: ...and he totally thinks the inflatable pumpkin is you, Pom Pom!

Pom Pom: bubbles

Strong Bad: He also tried to get its phone number, which is more than a little weird.

Homestar: Unkie Strong Bad, I need more help!

Strong Bad: Pom Pom, quick, hide!

Pom Pom: bubbles

Homestar: Things have gone downhill, not only did I murder Pom Pom, it's also on record that I ate fifteen hundred pounds of crap.

Strong Mad: laughs

The Cheat: laughs

Strong Bad: (laughing) Oh ho, stifle a laugh. Well, you know what you gotta do now, don't you?

Homestar: I will literally do whatever comes out of that sweet rectangular mouth next.

Strong Bad: Uh, in that case, you gotta get me... sixteen dozen maple bismarcks.

Homestar: Done!

Strong Bad: These are collaches, I said bismarks!

Strong Bad: {eating} Now thats more like it! Now you gotta find a patsy and pin that murder on him like a corsage on a puffy-dressed prom date!

Homestar: You mean like with a lot of blood and them going, "Ow, ow, Homestar, ow, quit it, I'm not going to prom with you anymore! And I hate Bennigan's!"

Strong Bad: Yeah, something like that. Now go stash Pom Pom's body at their house!

Homestar: But who am I supposed to pin this murder on?

Strong Bad: The most unsuspecting saps you can find...

{Cut to Marzipan's house. Strong Sad is sitting on the couch}

Strong Sad: {hisses}

{Marzipan walks in.}

Marzipan: Hey Strong Sad, there's a bad horror movie on. Wanna make snappy comments and obscure references while we watch it?

Easter Eggs

Click on the Poopsmith's shovel to see Homsar.

Fun Facts

Explanations

  • A burner phone is a phone generally used to conduct illegal business, with the intent being to not have the phone be able to be tracked back to the owner.

Trivia

  • This is the longest Homestar Runner toon to date.

External Links

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