Mr. Poofers Must Die
From Homestar Runner Wiki
(→Transcript: Okay, this time, I'm going to seriously kill Mr. Poofers. He walked under a heavy lourde, which fell on hard times and had to sell its most prized possession. Wait, no!) |
(→Transcript: Maybe someone can sort out what some of these characters are saying all at once? And then we can shoot Mr. Poofers with our new high-definition camera and give the picture to a turtle) |
||
Line 213: | Line 213: | ||
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{chuckling}'' I know, right? | '''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{chuckling}'' I know, right? | ||
+ | |||
+ | ''{Cut to Strong Bad.}'' | ||
+ | |||
+ | '''STRONG BAD:''' Okay, fine. We all knew it was coming down to this anyway. I will mark Mr. Poofers for you sad sacks! ''{mutters to himself:}'' All right, concentrate, Strong Bad. Keep your mind strong! ''{lifts his head}'' Bad! See what I did— | ||
+ | |||
+ | '''EVERYONE ELSE:''' Yes! | ||
+ | |||
+ | '''STRONG BAD:''' Okay, sorry. | ||
+ | |||
+ | ''{Cut to an image of Mr. Poofers on a path, with Old Man Rootbeer standing in the distance.}'' | ||
+ | |||
+ | '''STRONG BAD:''' ''{voiceover}'' It was nearly sunset. | ||
+ | |||
+ | ''{Mr. Poofers suddenly puffs out, then slowly returns to normal.}'' | ||
+ | |||
+ | '''STRONG BAD:''' ''{voiceover}'' Old Man Rootbeer stood at the end of the ???— | ||
+ | |||
+ | ''{Zoom in on Rootbeer, and a flamethrower appears behind him.}'' | ||
+ | |||
+ | '''STRONG BAD:''' ''{voiceover}'' —flamethrower slung 'cross his back. ''{as Rootbeer:}'' You ate one pimecone too many, Mr. Poofers! ''{normally}'' Harkened Old M. R... Beer. | ||
+ | |||
+ | ''{Rootbeer grabs the flamethrower and aims it.}'' | ||
+ | |||
+ | '''STRONG BAD:''' ''{voiceover}'' He took dead aim on Mr. ... ''{he shows signs of starting to struggle to speak}'' Poofers... | ||
+ | |||
+ | ''{Strong Bad appears in the corner of the screen, his face covered in sweat.}'' | ||
+ | |||
+ | '''STRONG BAD:''' Dead aim, you see! And then... | ||
+ | |||
+ | ''{Cut to Rootbeer holding the flamethrower, whose tip comes aflame.}'' | ||
+ | |||
+ | '''STRONG BAD:''' ''{voiceover}'' ...he... pulled... the tr— trrrr— trrrrrr— | ||
+ | |||
+ | ''{Sudden cut to a trolley labeled "O.M.R.B." with "POOFERS AVE." marked as its destination. Rootbeer is riding the trolley, smiling widely.}'' | ||
+ | |||
+ | '''STRONG BAD:''' ''{voiceover, singing}'' Trolley 'round the block and then he gave it a ding! | ||
+ | |||
+ | ''{The trolley's bell rings: Ding! Cut to another view of the trolley, with Mr. Poofers now riding it too.}'' | ||
+ | |||
+ | '''STRONG BAD:''' ''{voiceover, singing}'' Mr. Poofers hopped aboard and they began to sing! How could we ever, how come we never— | ||
+ | |||
+ | ''{Cut back to the main characters. As they sing, the words appear above them.}'' | ||
+ | |||
+ | '''EVERYONE:''' ''{singing}'' Why can't we slice that pie? | ||
+ | |||
+ | ''{Strong Bad collapses.}'' | ||
+ | |||
+ | '''STRONG BAD:''' Awwwww! It's no use! Mr. Poofers is too powerful! | ||
+ | |||
+ | ''{Cut to Homestar.}'' | ||
+ | |||
+ | '''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Well, I guess we'll just have to start worshiping Mr. Poofers as our dark overlord. | ||
+ | |||
+ | ''{All overlapping each other:}'' | ||
+ | |||
+ | '''STRONG BAD:''' Eh, sounds good to me.<br /> | ||
+ | '''THE KING OF TOWN:''' Yeah, sure.<br /> | ||
+ | '''MARZIPAN:''' I'll try anything once.<br /> | ||
+ | '''STRONG MAD:''' ''{unintelligible}''<br /> | ||
+ | '''BUBS:''' ''{unintelligible}''<br /> | ||
+ | '''COACH Z:''' ''{unintelligible}''<br /> | ||
+ | '''STRONG SAD:''' Well, I'm down. | ||
+ | |||
+ | '''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' All hail Mr. Poofers. | ||
+ | |||
+ | '''EVERYONE:''' Miffa miffa meeka moo! | ||
+ | |||
+ | ''{As the music picks up, cut to outside Homestar's house, as a ghostly image of Mr. Poofers rises over it. Then cut to a Bookazon page for "Mr. Poofers Must Die: Homestar's Top-Notch Ghost Story", which starts with no stars and -4 customer reviews, but raises to four and a half stars and 601 reviews.}'' | ||
{{transcriptinprogress|Jay}} | {{transcriptinprogress|Jay}} |
Revision as of 05:13, 31 October 2018
Toon Category: Holiday Toon |
|
The cast tries to create the perfect story to kill off a dog, but they find it too hard to kill the cute little thing.
Cast (in order of appearance): Marzipan, Homestar Runner, Mr. Poofers, Old Man Rootbeer, Strong Bad, The Cheat, Coach Z, Strong Sad, The King of Town, Pom Pom, The Poopsmith, Strong Mad, Bubs, Homsar (Easter egg)
Places: Marzipan's House,
See Mr. Poofers Must Die Costumes for more information on what everyone was wearing.
Date: Tuesday, October 30, 2018
Running Time: 9:25
Page Title: A Top Notch Quality Ghost Story!
Contents |
Transcript
{The toon opens with Marzipan playing her guitar in her living room. Streamers resembling the "ghost" from Haunted Photo Booth decorate the room. Homestar walks up and Marzipan turns around.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: {angry} Marzipan, it's over! {raises his sword prop}
MARZIPAN: {unfazed} Okay.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: I can't take another day of this {plants his sword into the floor} garbage relationship!
MARZIPAN: That's fine.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Wait, what day is it?
MARZIPAN: {annoyed} Halloween.
{Homestar produces a book labeled "PLAN THING" and opens it up.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: {sheepishly} Oops, sorry! I was looking at next week. This is what I'm supposed to say to you today: {jumps up excitedly} Marzipan! This is it! {picks up and raises his sword} This Halloween I'm finally going to tell a top-notch four-and-a-half-stars-with-over-six-hundred-reviews-quality ghost story! And you know what that means!
MARZIPAN: Um, that you're gonna break up with me next week apparently?
HOMESTAR RUNNER: {dramatically} Mr. Poofers must die!!
{Spooky music starts as it cuts to a title screen reading "Mr. Poofers Must Die". Mr. Poofers's eyes occasionally briefly flash in place of the O's in the title. The words "A TOP-NOTCH 4½ STARS WITH OVER 600 REVIEWS QUALITY GHOST STORY" appear at the bottom of the screen.}
MARZIPAN: {voiceover} Who the crap is Mr. Poofers?
{The scene transitions to Mr. Poofers on an orange background.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: {voiceover} Hey everyone! Hey everyone, look! Hey everyone, look at Mr. Poofers!
{Mr. Poofers sits down, with an accompanying noise.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: {voiceover} Mr. Poofers is a dog—
{Mr. Poofers scratches himself with his hind leg and a question mark appears over his head.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: {voiceover} —but he sounds like this!
{As Homestar says each word that Mr. Poofers "sounds like", Mr. Poofers opens his mouth, and the same word appears inside it.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: {voiceover} Miffa miffa meeka moo!
{Mr. Poofers looks around.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: {voiceover} That is funny talk for a dog!
{Mr. Poofers stands up.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: {voiceover} What a great cloud with legs Mr. Poofers is.
{Mr. Poofers's fur fluffs out to make him look more cloud-like.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: {voiceover} Uh, I mean, what a great dog—
{Mr. Poofers returns to normal and scratches himself.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: {voiceover} —Mr. Poofers is!
{The screen changes to a dining room table with three pine cones on it.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: {voiceover} Mr. Poofers eats pimecones for breakfast, {Mr. Poofers appears and eats half of the first pine cone} lunch, {he eats the second} and dinner. {he eats the third} Imagine that! Pimecones for B, L, and D!
{As he says that last part, placards labeled "B", "L", and "D" fall in front of the half-eaten pine cones. Cut to Old Man Rootbeer, who looks around.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: {voiceover} Oh, look! Oh, look, everyone! There's Old Man Rootbeer! Old Man Rootbeer is not a big fan of Mr. Poofers.
{The screen pans over as Mr. Poofers runs up in the background. Old Man Rootbeer shakes his fist at him.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: {voiceover} Not really that much of a big fan at all. {As Rootbeer, who points at Mr. Poofers:} That kid eats my pimecones! {normally} Shouted Old Man Rootbeer.
{Cut to Rootbeer and Mr. Poofers, standing near a hammock with four pine cones sitting nearby.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: {voiceover, as Rootbeer} I'm gonna take a nap on my college hammock, {Rootbeer shakes his fist} so don't eat my pimecones! {normally} Old Man Rootbeer told Mr. Poofers. {as Mr. Poofers} Miffa miffa!
{Rootbeer lies down on the hammock, and his hat falls over his face.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: {voiceover} After a few moments, Old Man Rootbeer had fallen a-slumber.
{Mr. Poofers sneaks closer.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: {voiceover} Juuust when the moment was right... Mr. Poofers stole his beard!
{Mr. Poofers takes Rootbeer's beard and runs off. Rootbeer jumps up, his entire face now covered in the remnants of his beard, and shakes his fist.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: {voiceover} What a prize!
{Cut to Mr. Poofers happily hugging the beard. A "ding" sound effect plays as the beard shines.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: {voiceover} An old man's beard, no less!
{Cut to Homestar, standing next to a table with a candle on it, as silhouettes of the other characters look on. White noise plays for a few seconds as he looks around. Cut to a shot of the other main characters.}
STRONG BAD: Ummmm... what did I just listen to?
{Cut back to Homestar.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh, sorry. "The end."
{Cut to Strong Bad.}
STRONG BAD: Is that what you dragged us all here for?!
{Cut to Strong Sad.}
STRONG SAD: Wasn't Mr. Poofers supposed to die?
{Cut to Homestar.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Aw, man! Did it happen again?! Every time I try and tell a spooky Mr. Poofers story—
{Cut to Marzipan.}
MARZIPAN: Which has now been exactly one time.
{Cut to Homestar.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: —he always survives! I thought, if I could finally kill him off, it would definitely become a top-notch four-and-a-half-stars-with-over-six-hundred-reviews-quality ghost story.
{Cut to Bubs.}
BUBS: But it didn't even sound like you tried to off Mr. Poofers in the first place.
{Cut to Homestar.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh, but I did. Watch this: I'm about to say "Then Mr. Poofers' head fell off and he died, died, died." Ahem.
{Cut to Mr. Poofers walking down the street.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: {voiceover} Mr. Poofers was thinking about a branch, {a thought bubble with a branch appears over his head} a hotel, {the bubble expands an a hotel labeled "OH SWELL" is added} and a $350 pair of loafers.
{The bubble expands and a pair of brown shoes marked "350" is added. Then it disappears and Mr. Poofers spins, looking like a tornado.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: {voiceover} Gee whiz! That's a lot of Kansas match right there!
{Mr. Poofers strikes a triumphant pose. The image poofs away and cuts back to Homestar.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: See? It's like somethin' takes a hold of ya when you're telling a Mr. Poofers story!
{Cut to Coach Z.}
COACH Z: Eh, what a bunch of balarney. Ain't nobaddy can get fatally irresponsible with an animal like Coach Z! Let me take a whack at it. And I'll try and finish your story too!
{Cut to Mr. Poofers and Old Man Rootbeer standing next to each other near a wall.}
COACH Z: {voiceover} Look, gentlemen! A roundish box!
{A roundish box drops into the scene as both characters take a step back.}
COACH Z: {voiceover} Mr. Poofers {the "oo" is pronounced as in the word "hook"} pretended there was such a thing as a roundish box.
{Mr. Poofers pushes it toward Rootbeer.}
COACH Z: {voiceover} He gave it to Old M'n Rootber, {The "oo" is again pronounced as in "hook". Rootbeer scratches his head} who absolutely had not asked for it. {as Rootbeer:} This better be replacement pimecones! {normally} Belted Old M'n Rootber.
{Rootbeer reaches into the box and produces a broken half of a brush with brown hairs stuck to it as an electric sound effect is heard. He looks at it, puzzled.}
COACH Z: {voiceover} It was harlf a hairbrush.
{Rootbeer turns the brush over. The scene poofs away as we cut back to Coach Z, whose face covered in sweat.}
COACH Z: {freaked out} Ooooohhhh! That wasn't me! That wasn't me! I tried to kill 'im! I swear!
{Cut to Marzipan}
MARZIPAN: Oh, shut up, Coach Z, you infant. I'll kill the stupid dog.
{Cut to Mr. Poofers sitting on a tiled floor.}
MARZIPAN: {voiceover} "Miffa meeka" {Mr. Poofers's mouth opens wide as those words exit through it.} said Mr. Poofers, out of his entire mouth. Mr. Poofers never complains, except once—
{Scene shifts to Mr. Poofers looking at a table as a bowl of pudding, with a hair sticking out of it, slides in front of him.}
MARZIPAN: {voiceover} —in a cafeteria, with bad, bad pudding.
{Mr. Poofers knocks it away angrily.}
MARZIPAN: {voiceover} I mean, have you ever—
{The scene poofs away and cuts back to Marzipan, whose face is also covered in sweat.}
MARZIPAN: {distraught} I was wrong! I was so wrong!
{Pan over to Strong Sad.}
STRONG SAD: Oooh, this is getting supernaturally interesting! All right, Poofers, it's time for you to face... the Deathly Pallor! {closes his eyes, tenses up, and starts wiggling his fingers} I invoke protections from the third arcane level and send my mind into the psychic vault! You shall not break through! {opens his eyes and holds his arms wide}
{Cut to Mr. Poofers}
STRONG SAD: {voiceover} Pimecone.
{A pine cone appears. The scene then poofs away and cuts back to Strong Sad, whose face is also covered in sweat, and whose fingers are still twitching.}
STRONG SAD: {panicking} Oooohhh! Oohhh! Lemme out! It was horrible! {The Poopsmith puts his hand on Strong Sad's shoulder.} It was like Homestar's imagination was gushing out of my mouth like fire!
{Homestar leans into the scene}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: {chuckling} I know, right?
{Cut to Strong Bad.}
STRONG BAD: Okay, fine. We all knew it was coming down to this anyway. I will mark Mr. Poofers for you sad sacks! {mutters to himself:} All right, concentrate, Strong Bad. Keep your mind strong! {lifts his head} Bad! See what I did—
EVERYONE ELSE: Yes!
STRONG BAD: Okay, sorry.
{Cut to an image of Mr. Poofers on a path, with Old Man Rootbeer standing in the distance.}
STRONG BAD: {voiceover} It was nearly sunset.
{Mr. Poofers suddenly puffs out, then slowly returns to normal.}
STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Old Man Rootbeer stood at the end of the ???—
{Zoom in on Rootbeer, and a flamethrower appears behind him.}
STRONG BAD: {voiceover} —flamethrower slung 'cross his back. {as Rootbeer:} You ate one pimecone too many, Mr. Poofers! {normally} Harkened Old M. R... Beer.
{Rootbeer grabs the flamethrower and aims it.}
STRONG BAD: {voiceover} He took dead aim on Mr. ... {he shows signs of starting to struggle to speak} Poofers...
{Strong Bad appears in the corner of the screen, his face covered in sweat.}
STRONG BAD: Dead aim, you see! And then...
{Cut to Rootbeer holding the flamethrower, whose tip comes aflame.}
STRONG BAD: {voiceover} ...he... pulled... the tr— trrrr— trrrrrr—
{Sudden cut to a trolley labeled "O.M.R.B." with "POOFERS AVE." marked as its destination. Rootbeer is riding the trolley, smiling widely.}
STRONG BAD: {voiceover, singing} Trolley 'round the block and then he gave it a ding!
{The trolley's bell rings: Ding! Cut to another view of the trolley, with Mr. Poofers now riding it too.}
STRONG BAD: {voiceover, singing} Mr. Poofers hopped aboard and they began to sing! How could we ever, how come we never—
{Cut back to the main characters. As they sing, the words appear above them.}
EVERYONE: {singing} Why can't we slice that pie?
{Strong Bad collapses.}
STRONG BAD: Awwwww! It's no use! Mr. Poofers is too powerful!
{Cut to Homestar.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Well, I guess we'll just have to start worshiping Mr. Poofers as our dark overlord.
{All overlapping each other:}
STRONG BAD: Eh, sounds good to me.
THE KING OF TOWN: Yeah, sure.
MARZIPAN: I'll try anything once.
STRONG MAD: {unintelligible}
BUBS: {unintelligible}
COACH Z: {unintelligible}
STRONG SAD: Well, I'm down.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: All hail Mr. Poofers.
EVERYONE: Miffa miffa meeka moo!
{As the music picks up, cut to outside Homestar's house, as a ghostly image of Mr. Poofers rises over it. Then cut to a Bookazon page for "Mr. Poofers Must Die: Homestar's Top-Notch Ghost Story", which starts with no stars and -4 customer reviews, but raises to four and a half stars and 601 reviews.}
Jay (Talk | contribs) is currently adding or changing substantial content. As a courtesy, until this tag is removed please do not edit this transcript unless absolutely necessary.
Fun Facts
Inside References
- Marzipan's house is decorated with the ghostly image from Haunted Photo Booth.
- Homestar also referred to pine cones as "pimecones" in secret recipes.
- Strong Sad calls himself The Deathly Pallor.
- The name "Mr. Poofers" was previously used in Fan Costumes '06 to refer to a fluffy, white dog wearing a Homestar Runner costume.
- Homestar's ghost story involves killing Mr. Poofers.
External Links
- watch "Mr. Poofers Must Die" on the old Flash site
- view the Flash file for "Mr. Poofers Must Die"
- watch "Mr. Poofers Must Die" on YouTube