Mr. Poofers Must Die

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(→Transcript: Where is everybody? Forget it, I'll finish this and then Mr. Poofers will buy a truck of ice cream and share it with his gerbil friends. Wait, I meant to say that he'll dye... his fur)
(→Transcript: Okay, this time, I'm going to seriously kill Mr. Poofers. He walked under a heavy lourde, which fell on hard times and had to sell its most prized possession. Wait, no!)
Line 124: Line 124:
''{Cut to Homestar.}''
''{Cut to Homestar.}''
-
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Oh, man! Did it happen again?! Every time I try and tell a spooky Mr. Poofers story—
+
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Aw, man! Did it happen again?! Every time I try and tell a spooky Mr. Poofers story—
''{Cut to Marzipan.}''
''{Cut to Marzipan.}''
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''{Cut to Homestar.}''
''{Cut to Homestar.}''
-
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' He always survives! I thought, if I could finally kill him off, it would definitely become a top-notch four-and-a-half-stars-with-over-six-hundred-reviews-quality ghost story.
+
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' —he always survives! I thought, if I could finally kill him off, it would definitely become a top-notch four-and-a-half-stars-with-over-six-hundred-reviews-quality ghost story.
''{Cut to Bubs.}''
''{Cut to Bubs.}''
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''{Cut to Mr. Poofers walking down the street.}''
''{Cut to Mr. Poofers walking down the street.}''
 +
 +
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{voiceover}'' Mr. Poofers was thinking about a branch, ''{a thought bubble with a branch appears over his head}'' a hotel, ''{the bubble expands an a hotel labeled "OH SWELL" is added}'' and a $350 pair of loafers.
 +
 +
''{The bubble expands and a pair of brown shoes marked "350" is added. Then it disappears and Mr. Poofers spins, looking like a tornado.}''
 +
 +
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{voiceover}'' Gee whiz! That's a lot of Kansas match<!-- ??? --> right there!
 +
 +
''{Mr. Poofers strikes a triumphant pose. The image poofs away and cuts back to Homestar.}''
 +
 +
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' See? It's like somethin' takes a hold of ya when you're telling a Mr. Poofers story!
 +
 +
''{Cut to Coach Z.}''
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 +
'''COACH Z:''' Eh, what a bunch of balarney. Ain't nobaddy can get fatally irresponsible with an animal like Coach Z! Let me take a whack at it. And I'll try and finish your story too!
 +
 +
''{Cut to Mr. Poofers and Old Man Rootbeer standing next to each other near a wall.}''
 +
 +
'''COACH Z:''' ''{voiceover}'' Look, gentlemen! A roundish box!
 +
 +
''{A roundish box drops into the scene as both characters take a step back.}''
 +
 +
'''COACH Z:''' ''{voiceover}'' Mr. Poofers ''{the "oo" is pronounced as in the word "hook"}'' pretended there was such a thing as a roundish box.
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 +
''{Mr. Poofers pushes it toward Rootbeer.}''
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 +
'''COACH Z:''' ''{voiceover}'' He gave it to Old M'n Rootber, ''{The "oo" is again pronounced as in "hook". Rootbeer scratches his head}'' who absolutely had not asked for it. ''{as Rootbeer:}'' This better be replacement pimecones! ''{normally}'' Belted Old M'n Rootber.
 +
 +
''{Rootbeer reaches into the box and produces a broken half of a brush with brown hairs stuck to it as an electric sound effect is heard. He looks at it, puzzled.}''
 +
 +
'''COACH Z:''' ''{voiceover}'' It was harlf a hairbrush.
 +
 +
''{Rootbeer turns the brush over. The scene poofs away as we cut back to Coach Z, whose face covered in sweat.}''
 +
 +
'''COACH Z:''' ''{freaked out}'' Ooooohhhh! That wasn't me! That wasn't me! I tried to kill 'im! I swear!
 +
 +
''{Cut to Marzipan}''
 +
 +
'''MARZIPAN:''' Oh, shut up, Coach Z, you infant. I'll kill the stupid dog.
 +
 +
''{Cut to Mr. Poofers sitting on a tiled floor.}''
 +
 +
'''MARZIPAN:''' ''{voiceover}'' "Miffa meeka" ''{Mr. Poofers's mouth opens wide as those words exit through it.}'' said Mr. Poofers, out of his entire mouth. Mr. Poofers never complains, except once&mdash;
 +
 +
''{Scene shifts to Mr. Poofers looking at a table as a bowl of pudding, with a hair sticking out of it, slides in front of him.}''
 +
 +
'''MARZIPAN:''' ''{voiceover}'' &mdash;in a cafeteria, with bad, bad pudding.
 +
 +
''{Mr. Poofers knocks it away angrily.}''
 +
 +
'''MARZIPAN:''' ''{voiceover}'' I mean, have you ever&mdash;
 +
 +
''{The scene poofs away and cuts back to Marzipan, whose face is also covered in sweat.}''
 +
 +
'''MARZIPAN:''' ''{distraught}'' I was wrong! I was so wrong!
 +
 +
''{Pan over to Strong Sad.}''
 +
 +
'''STRONG SAD:''' Oooh, this is getting supernaturally interesting! All right, Poofers, it's time for you to face... the Deathly Pallor! ''{closes his eyes, tenses up, and starts wiggling his fingers}'' I invoke protections from the third arcane level and send my mind into the psychic vault! You shall not break through! ''{opens his eyes and holds his arms wide}''
 +
 +
''{Cut to Mr. Poofers}''
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 +
'''STRONG SAD:''' ''{voiceover}'' Pimecone.
 +
 +
''{A pine cone appears. The scene then poofs away and cuts back to Strong Sad, whose face is also covered in sweat, and whose fingers are still twitching.}''
 +
 +
'''STRONG SAD:''' ''{panicking}'' Oooohhh! Oohhh! Lemme out! It was horrible! ''{The Poopsmith puts his hand on Strong Sad's shoulder.}'' It was like Homestar's imagination was gushing out of my mouth like fire!
 +
 +
''{Homestar leans into the scene}''
 +
 +
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{chuckling}'' I know, right?
{{transcriptinprogress|Jay}}
{{transcriptinprogress|Jay}}

Revision as of 04:48, 31 October 2018

Toon Category: Holiday Toon
watch ← The Next April Fools Thing Homestarloween Party →
"Oh. Sorry. 'The End.'"

The cast tries to create the perfect story to kill off a dog, but they find it too hard to kill the cute little thing.

Cast (in order of appearance): Marzipan, Homestar Runner, Mr. Poofers, Old Man Rootbeer, Strong Bad, The Cheat, Coach Z, Strong Sad, The King of Town, Pom Pom, The Poopsmith, Strong Mad, Bubs, Homsar (Easter egg)

Places: Marzipan's House,

See Mr. Poofers Must Die Costumes for more information on what everyone was wearing.

Date: Tuesday, October 30, 2018

Running Time: 9:25

Page Title: A Top Notch Quality Ghost Story!

Contents

Transcript

{The toon opens with Marzipan playing her guitar in her living room. Streamers resembling the "ghost" from Haunted Photo Booth decorate the room. Homestar walks up and Marzipan turns around.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {angry} Marzipan, it's over! {raises his sword prop}

MARZIPAN: {unfazed} Okay.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: I can't take another day of this {plants his sword into the floor} garbage relationship!

MARZIPAN: That's fine.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Wait, what day is it?

MARZIPAN: {annoyed} Halloween.

{Homestar produces a book labeled "PLAN THING" and opens it up.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {sheepishly} Oops, sorry! I was looking at next week. This is what I'm supposed to say to you today: {jumps up excitedly} Marzipan! This is it! {picks up and raises his sword} This Halloween I'm finally going to tell a top-notch four-and-a-half-stars-with-over-six-hundred-reviews-quality ghost story! And you know what that means!

MARZIPAN: Um, that you're gonna break up with me next week apparently?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {dramatically} Mr. Poofers must die!!

{Spooky music starts as it cuts to a title screen reading "Mr. Poofers Must Die". Mr. Poofers's eyes occasionally briefly flash in place of the O's in the title. The words "A TOP-NOTCH 4½ STARS WITH OVER 600 REVIEWS QUALITY GHOST STORY" appear at the bottom of the screen.}

MARZIPAN: {voiceover} Who the crap is Mr. Poofers?

{The scene transitions to Mr. Poofers on an orange background.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {voiceover} Hey everyone! Hey everyone, look! Hey everyone, look at Mr. Poofers!

{Mr. Poofers sits down, with an accompanying noise.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {voiceover} Mr. Poofers is a dog—

{Mr. Poofers scratches himself with his hind leg and a question mark appears over his head.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {voiceover} —but he sounds like this!

{As Homestar says each word that Mr. Poofers "sounds like", Mr. Poofers opens his mouth, and the same word appears inside it.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {voiceover} Miffa miffa meeka moo!

{Mr. Poofers looks around.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {voiceover} That is funny talk for a dog!

{Mr. Poofers stands up.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {voiceover} What a great cloud with legs Mr. Poofers is.

{Mr. Poofers's fur fluffs out to make him look more cloud-like.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {voiceover} Uh, I mean, what a great dog—

{Mr. Poofers returns to normal and scratches himself.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {voiceover} —Mr. Poofers is!

{The screen changes to a dining room table with three pine cones on it.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {voiceover} Mr. Poofers eats pimecones for breakfast, {Mr. Poofers appears and eats half of the first pine cone} lunch, {he eats the second} and dinner. {he eats the third} Imagine that! Pimecones for B, L, and D!

{As he says that last part, placards labeled "B", "L", and "D" fall in front of the half-eaten pine cones. Cut to Old Man Rootbeer, who looks around.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {voiceover} Oh, look! Oh, look, everyone! There's Old Man Rootbeer! Old Man Rootbeer is not a big fan of Mr. Poofers.

{The screen pans over as Mr. Poofers runs up in the background. Old Man Rootbeer shakes his fist at him.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {voiceover} Not really that much of a big fan at all. {As Rootbeer, who points at Mr. Poofers:} That kid eats my pimecones! {normally} Shouted Old Man Rootbeer.

{Cut to Rootbeer and Mr. Poofers, standing near a hammock with four pine cones sitting nearby.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {voiceover, as Rootbeer} I'm gonna take a nap on my college hammock, {Rootbeer shakes his fist} so don't eat my pimecones! {normally} Old Man Rootbeer told Mr. Poofers. {as Mr. Poofers} Miffa miffa!

{Rootbeer lies down on the hammock, and his hat falls over his face.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {voiceover} After a few moments, Old Man Rootbeer had fallen a-slumber.

{Mr. Poofers sneaks closer.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {voiceover} Juuust when the moment was right... Mr. Poofers stole his beard!

{Mr. Poofers takes Rootbeer's beard and runs off. Rootbeer jumps up, his entire face now covered in the remnants of his beard, and shakes his fist.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {voiceover} What a prize!

{Cut to Mr. Poofers happily hugging the beard. A "ding" sound effect plays as the beard shines.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {voiceover} An old man's beard, no less!

{Cut to Homestar, standing next to a table with a candle on it, as silhouettes of the other characters look on. White noise plays for a few seconds as he looks around. Cut to a shot of the other main characters.}

STRONG BAD: Ummmm... what did I just listen to?

{Cut back to Homestar.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh, sorry. "The end."

{Cut to Strong Bad.}

STRONG BAD: Is that what you dragged us all here for?!

{Cut to Strong Sad.}

STRONG SAD: Wasn't Mr. Poofers supposed to die?

{Cut to Homestar.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Aw, man! Did it happen again?! Every time I try and tell a spooky Mr. Poofers story—

{Cut to Marzipan.}

MARZIPAN: Which has now been exactly one time.

{Cut to Homestar.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: —he always survives! I thought, if I could finally kill him off, it would definitely become a top-notch four-and-a-half-stars-with-over-six-hundred-reviews-quality ghost story.

{Cut to Bubs.}

BUBS: But it didn't even sound like you tried to off Mr. Poofers in the first place.

{Cut to Homestar.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh, but I did. Watch this: I'm about to say "Then Mr. Poofers' head fell off and he died, died, died." Ahem.

{Cut to Mr. Poofers walking down the street.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {voiceover} Mr. Poofers was thinking about a branch, {a thought bubble with a branch appears over his head} a hotel, {the bubble expands an a hotel labeled "OH SWELL" is added} and a $350 pair of loafers.

{The bubble expands and a pair of brown shoes marked "350" is added. Then it disappears and Mr. Poofers spins, looking like a tornado.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {voiceover} Gee whiz! That's a lot of Kansas match right there!

{Mr. Poofers strikes a triumphant pose. The image poofs away and cuts back to Homestar.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: See? It's like somethin' takes a hold of ya when you're telling a Mr. Poofers story!

{Cut to Coach Z.}

COACH Z: Eh, what a bunch of balarney. Ain't nobaddy can get fatally irresponsible with an animal like Coach Z! Let me take a whack at it. And I'll try and finish your story too!

{Cut to Mr. Poofers and Old Man Rootbeer standing next to each other near a wall.}

COACH Z: {voiceover} Look, gentlemen! A roundish box!

{A roundish box drops into the scene as both characters take a step back.}

COACH Z: {voiceover} Mr. Poofers {the "oo" is pronounced as in the word "hook"} pretended there was such a thing as a roundish box.

{Mr. Poofers pushes it toward Rootbeer.}

COACH Z: {voiceover} He gave it to Old M'n Rootber, {The "oo" is again pronounced as in "hook". Rootbeer scratches his head} who absolutely had not asked for it. {as Rootbeer:} This better be replacement pimecones! {normally} Belted Old M'n Rootber.

{Rootbeer reaches into the box and produces a broken half of a brush with brown hairs stuck to it as an electric sound effect is heard. He looks at it, puzzled.}

COACH Z: {voiceover} It was harlf a hairbrush.

{Rootbeer turns the brush over. The scene poofs away as we cut back to Coach Z, whose face covered in sweat.}

COACH Z: {freaked out} Ooooohhhh! That wasn't me! That wasn't me! I tried to kill 'im! I swear!

{Cut to Marzipan}

MARZIPAN: Oh, shut up, Coach Z, you infant. I'll kill the stupid dog.

{Cut to Mr. Poofers sitting on a tiled floor.}

MARZIPAN: {voiceover} "Miffa meeka" {Mr. Poofers's mouth opens wide as those words exit through it.} said Mr. Poofers, out of his entire mouth. Mr. Poofers never complains, except once—

{Scene shifts to Mr. Poofers looking at a table as a bowl of pudding, with a hair sticking out of it, slides in front of him.}

MARZIPAN: {voiceover} —in a cafeteria, with bad, bad pudding.

{Mr. Poofers knocks it away angrily.}

MARZIPAN: {voiceover} I mean, have you ever—

{The scene poofs away and cuts back to Marzipan, whose face is also covered in sweat.}

MARZIPAN: {distraught} I was wrong! I was so wrong!

{Pan over to Strong Sad.}

STRONG SAD: Oooh, this is getting supernaturally interesting! All right, Poofers, it's time for you to face... the Deathly Pallor! {closes his eyes, tenses up, and starts wiggling his fingers} I invoke protections from the third arcane level and send my mind into the psychic vault! You shall not break through! {opens his eyes and holds his arms wide}

{Cut to Mr. Poofers}

STRONG SAD: {voiceover} Pimecone.

{A pine cone appears. The scene then poofs away and cuts back to Strong Sad, whose face is also covered in sweat, and whose fingers are still twitching.}

STRONG SAD: {panicking} Oooohhh! Oohhh! Lemme out! It was horrible! {The Poopsmith puts his hand on Strong Sad's shoulder.} It was like Homestar's imagination was gushing out of my mouth like fire!

{Homestar leans into the scene}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {chuckling} I know, right?

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Fun Facts

Inside References

External Links

Halloween Toons
Big Toons Homestarloween Party (costumes), The House That Gave Sucky Treats (costumes), Pumpkin Carve-nival (costumes), 3 Times Halloween Funjob (costumes, theme), Halloween Fairstival (costumes), Halloween Potion-ma-jig (costumes), Happy Hallow-day (costumes), Jibblies 2 (costumes), Most in the Graveyard (costumes), Doomy Tales of the Macabre (costumes), Which Ween Costumes? (costumes), I Killed Pom Pom (costumes), The House That Gave Sucky Tricks (costumes), Later That Night... (costumes), Haunted Photo Booth (costumes), Mr. Poofers Must Die (costumes), The Homestar Runner Enters The Spooky Woods (costumes), Halloween Hijinks (costumes), Halloween Hide & Seek (costumes, walkthrough, responses, v2.0 trailer), 2022 Costume Pack Now Available (costumes), The Show: Ween Edition (costumes)
Teasers Jibblies 2 Teaser, Most in the Graveyard Teaser, Doomy Tales of the Macabre Teaser, Halloween Safety, The House That Gave Sucky Tricks Teaser, Later That Night... Teaser, Haunted Photo Booth Teaser, Mr. Poofers Must Die Teaser, The Homestar Runner Enters The Spooky Woods Teaser, 2022 Costume Pack Now Available Teaser, The Show: Ween Edition Teaser
Other
  Site Components Main Page 7, Ween Intro
Toons halloweener, ghosts, Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 7.0, Malloween Commercial, That a Ghost, Halloween Awards Show, Costume Commercial, Decomposing Pumpkins, Punkin Show, Joystick Wagglin' with Videlectrix: Halloween Edition, Large Bean, Kooky Moonlight
Puppet Stuff Homestar vs. Little Girl 2, Marshie vs. Little Girl, Greatest American Homestar, Action Cool News-oween Report
Games Egg Throwing Game, Strong Bad's Treat Snatcha, Marshie's Malloween Mix-Up, Punkin Stencils
Fan Costumes 2003, 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008, 2009, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, 2020, 2021, 2022, 2023
Costumes Halloween Costumes, Rejected Costumes, Other Halloween Costumes, Strong Bad's Teaser Costumes, What are you supposed to be?, I really like your costume, Icon References
Retrieved from "http://www.hrwiki.org/wiki/Mr._Poofers_Must_Die"
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