The House Gave Sucky Tricks

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'''STRONG BAD''': This place is a disgrace to haunted houses, haunted hovels, haunted timeshares, and haunted extended stay motels even.  Why, if I had a haunted house, I think it would turn out a little something... like the following cartoon!
'''STRONG BAD''': This place is a disgrace to haunted houses, haunted hovels, haunted timeshares, and haunted extended stay motels even.  Why, if I had a haunted house, I think it would turn out a little something... like the following cartoon!
 +
 +
'''STRONG BAD''': Welcome to St. Cadaverstump's totally not just an old furniture warehouse morgue-tuary!
 +
 +
'''ANNOUNCER''': Open weeknights in October. Located just off I-20.
 +
 +
'''STRONG BAD''': The first room would come out swingin', with everybody's favorite jibblies painting, The Jibblies Painting!
 +
 +
'''THE JIBBLIES PAINTING''': Come on in here!
 +
 +
'''STRONG BAD''': Yeah, yeah. We've all heard that before. But in order to take it to the next level, my haunted house would have a horrible painting of... somebody's dad!
 +
 +
'''SOMEBODY'S DAD PAINTING''': Uh, hey, hey, hey, hey.  Well, come on in here!
 +
 +
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER''': Why is he wearing cycling gear? He's not even that serious about riding!
 +
 +
'''SOMEBODY'S DAD PAINTING''': Hey, I can do a 220 in 4:45.
 +
 +
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER''': Ahhh!
 +
 +
'''STRONG BAD''': Then there would be... the gross out room.  But instead of severed limbs and surgeries gone wrong...
 +
 +
'''MARZIPAN''': Ahhh!
 +
 +
'''STRONG BAD''': It's just a silent white room filled with pure stench.  And, oh, ho, ho.  What a stench it is!  Let me lay it on you like a movie trailer.
 +
 +
'''STRONG BAD''': Strong Mad! Oyster! Smoothie! Breath! Caked! Armpit! Latte!
 +
 +
'''MARZIPAN''': Strong Bad, you know the words in that sequence are illegal.  Arrest him King of Town!
 +
 +
'''KING OF TOWN''': Keep piling up that smell poopsmith!  Wait, I can arrest people?
 +
 +
'''MARZIPAN''': I think so, I mean you're allowed to execute people, right?
 +
 +
'''KING OF TOWN''': Do the words 'doo hoo hoo' mean anything to you?
 +
 +
'''STRONG BAD''': Ooh!  There'd also be one of those immersive horror experience rooms that are so popular these days
 +
 +
'''STRONG SAD''': OK. Gotta logic this out.  Open a vault before time runs out.  Skeleton's pointing at a clue. Am I on the right track?
 +
 +
'''STRONG BAD''': Now, just reach in the toilet.  I just want you to reach in the toilet.
 +
 +
'''STRONG SAD''': It's pointing at the toilet.
 +
 +
'''STRONG BAD''': It's full of poop.
 +
 +
'''STRONG SAD''': But that's just misdirection.
 +
 +
'''STRONG BAD''': I just want you to touch the poop.
 +
 +
'''STRONG SAD''': They want me to think I should reach in the toilet.
 +
 +
'''STRONG BAD''': No! I do want you to reach in the toilet! That is all that I want you to do!
 +
 +
'''STRONG SAD''': It's too easy.
 +
 +
'''STRONG BAD''': Touch the poop!
 +
 +
'''STRONG SAD''': But I know better!
 +
 +
'''STRONG BAD''': Touch the freakin' poop!
 +
 +
'''STRONG BAD''': Most horror stuff is pretty obvious.  Like, of course it's terrifying to get disemjowel'd with a lunatic with a machete.
 +
 +
'''STRONG SAD''': Machété!
 +
 +
'''STRONG BAD''': Shut up! But I think people are ready for the more subtle terror of... Two star bed and breakfast!
 +
 +
'''COACH Z''': It's somehow worse than if it only got one star!
 +
 +
'''BUBS''': Dry scrambled eggs? Questionable hairs on the antimacassar?
 +
 +
'''STRONG SAD''': Antimacassar!
 +
 +
'''BUBS''': Shut up!
 +
 +
'''COACH Z''': Failed terlet paper rose! What kind of inhuman monsters would run a place like this?
 +
 +
'''SHUT UP LADY''': Oh, it's so charming!
 +
 +
'''COACH Z AND BUBS''': Shut up, lady!
 +
 +
'''STRONG BAD''': Nowadays, everybody's tired of the same old evil clowns, undead cheerleaders, and all those bloody-eyed found footage children. 
 +
 +
'''THE SAD GIRL''': Nine.
 +
 +
'''THE SAD BOY''': Sequels.
 +
 +
'''STRONG BAD''': But for my haunted house, I will unleash an entirely new horror icon! Say hello to the new face of terror! Large bean!
 +
 +
'''STRONG BAD''': Come on, anybody? Don't you think that Large Bean is unsettling?
 +
 +
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER''': And next on our tour, if you'll all please gather around. Fill in all available space please. We have a prime specimen of large bean.
 +
 +
'''STRONG BAD''': Wait.  What, what the crap is this?
 +
 +
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER''': Other varieties include, small bean.
 +
 +
'''STRONG BAD''': Stop it!
 +
 +
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER''': Extra large bean.
 +
 +
'''STRONG BAD''': This is not a science museum!
 +
 +
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER''': And, of course my favorite... teenie weenie beanie.
 +
 +
'''STRONG BAD''': You do not call large bean 'teenie weenie beanie'!
 +
 +
'''STRONG SAD''': I sure hope they sell large bean plush dolls in the museum gift shop!
 +
 +
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER''': I think you might be pleasantly surprised, young scholar!
 +
 +
'''STRONG BAD''': Shut up! Large bean will eat your soul! He'll eat all your souls!
 +
 +
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER''': Wow Strong Bad, the spooky shoes room really effected you this year, huh?
 +
 +
'''STRONG BAD''': I thought this was the scary shoes room?
 +
 +
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER''': Oh, right.  Close your eyes.
 +
 +
'''STRONG BAD''': Um... OK.
 +
 +
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER''': Open 'em. You're in the spooky shoes room now.
 +
 +
'''STRONG BAD''': Uh.  You were right Strong Mad.  This Halloween's not working.
 +
 +
'''NARRATOR''': When nights are chill and filled with doom, again will rise the cursed legume. So if you're out on Hallowe'en, beware the wrath of Largest Bean! Ah ha ha ha!
 +
 +
'''STRONG BAD''': See? This guy respects Large Bean.
 +
 +
'''NARRATOR''': I'm sorry Strong Bad.  I... I can't get behind Large Bean.
==External Links==
==External Links==

Revision as of 18:54, 29 October 2015

Toon Category: Holiday Toon
watch ← Decomposing Pumpkins Fan Costumes '09 →
thumb|"If I had a haunted house I think it would turn out something like the following cartoon!"

Strong Bad imagines what his haunted house would looks like.

Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Mad, Strong Sad, The Cheat, Homestar Runner

See The House Gave Sucky Tricks Costumes for more information on what everyone was wearing.

Places: Homestar's House

Date: Thursday, October 29, 2015

Page Title: St. Cadaverstump's Home for Wayward Sbemails

Transcript

STRONG MAD: This Halloween's not working!

STRONG BAD: Boy, you said it Strong Mad. This is the lamest haunted house ever. My pants haven't entertained the thought of peeing themselves even once.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Scary shoes!

STRONG BAD: Really? Spooky shoes?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: No, no. Scary shoes. Spooky shoes are the next room.

STRONG BAD: Homestar, your haunted house is even worse than normal this year. You ever think of using any actual Halloween decorations?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: No, Marzipan only let me use stuff from the goodwill donations pile. Incomplete jigsaw puzzle!

THE CHEAT: Meh!

STRONG BAD: This place is a disgrace to haunted houses, haunted hovels, haunted timeshares, and haunted extended stay motels even. Why, if I had a haunted house, I think it would turn out a little something... like the following cartoon!

STRONG BAD: Welcome to St. Cadaverstump's totally not just an old furniture warehouse morgue-tuary!

ANNOUNCER: Open weeknights in October. Located just off I-20.

STRONG BAD: The first room would come out swingin', with everybody's favorite jibblies painting, The Jibblies Painting!

THE JIBBLIES PAINTING: Come on in here!

STRONG BAD: Yeah, yeah. We've all heard that before. But in order to take it to the next level, my haunted house would have a horrible painting of... somebody's dad!

SOMEBODY'S DAD PAINTING: Uh, hey, hey, hey, hey. Well, come on in here!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Why is he wearing cycling gear? He's not even that serious about riding!

SOMEBODY'S DAD PAINTING: Hey, I can do a 220 in 4:45.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Ahhh!

STRONG BAD: Then there would be... the gross out room. But instead of severed limbs and surgeries gone wrong...

MARZIPAN: Ahhh!

STRONG BAD: It's just a silent white room filled with pure stench. And, oh, ho, ho. What a stench it is! Let me lay it on you like a movie trailer.

STRONG BAD: Strong Mad! Oyster! Smoothie! Breath! Caked! Armpit! Latte!

MARZIPAN: Strong Bad, you know the words in that sequence are illegal. Arrest him King of Town!

KING OF TOWN: Keep piling up that smell poopsmith! Wait, I can arrest people?

MARZIPAN: I think so, I mean you're allowed to execute people, right?

KING OF TOWN: Do the words 'doo hoo hoo' mean anything to you?

STRONG BAD: Ooh! There'd also be one of those immersive horror experience rooms that are so popular these days

STRONG SAD: OK. Gotta logic this out. Open a vault before time runs out. Skeleton's pointing at a clue. Am I on the right track?

STRONG BAD: Now, just reach in the toilet. I just want you to reach in the toilet.

STRONG SAD: It's pointing at the toilet.

STRONG BAD: It's full of poop.

STRONG SAD: But that's just misdirection.

STRONG BAD: I just want you to touch the poop.

STRONG SAD: They want me to think I should reach in the toilet.

STRONG BAD: No! I do want you to reach in the toilet! That is all that I want you to do!

STRONG SAD: It's too easy.

STRONG BAD: Touch the poop!

STRONG SAD: But I know better!

STRONG BAD: Touch the freakin' poop!

STRONG BAD: Most horror stuff is pretty obvious. Like, of course it's terrifying to get disemjowel'd with a lunatic with a machete.

STRONG SAD: Machété!

STRONG BAD: Shut up! But I think people are ready for the more subtle terror of... Two star bed and breakfast!

COACH Z: It's somehow worse than if it only got one star!

BUBS: Dry scrambled eggs? Questionable hairs on the antimacassar?

STRONG SAD: Antimacassar!

BUBS: Shut up!

COACH Z: Failed terlet paper rose! What kind of inhuman monsters would run a place like this?

SHUT UP LADY: Oh, it's so charming!

COACH Z AND BUBS: Shut up, lady!

STRONG BAD: Nowadays, everybody's tired of the same old evil clowns, undead cheerleaders, and all those bloody-eyed found footage children.

THE SAD GIRL: Nine.

THE SAD BOY: Sequels.

STRONG BAD: But for my haunted house, I will unleash an entirely new horror icon! Say hello to the new face of terror! Large bean!

STRONG BAD: Come on, anybody? Don't you think that Large Bean is unsettling?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: And next on our tour, if you'll all please gather around. Fill in all available space please. We have a prime specimen of large bean.

STRONG BAD: Wait. What, what the crap is this?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Other varieties include, small bean.

STRONG BAD: Stop it!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Extra large bean.

STRONG BAD: This is not a science museum!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: And, of course my favorite... teenie weenie beanie.

STRONG BAD: You do not call large bean 'teenie weenie beanie'!

STRONG SAD: I sure hope they sell large bean plush dolls in the museum gift shop!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: I think you might be pleasantly surprised, young scholar!

STRONG BAD: Shut up! Large bean will eat your soul! He'll eat all your souls!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Wow Strong Bad, the spooky shoes room really effected you this year, huh?

STRONG BAD: I thought this was the scary shoes room?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh, right. Close your eyes.

STRONG BAD: Um... OK.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Open 'em. You're in the spooky shoes room now.

STRONG BAD: Uh. You were right Strong Mad. This Halloween's not working.

NARRATOR: When nights are chill and filled with doom, again will rise the cursed legume. So if you're out on Hallowe'en, beware the wrath of Largest Bean! Ah ha ha ha!

STRONG BAD: See? This guy respects Large Bean.

NARRATOR: I'm sorry Strong Bad. I... I can't get behind Large Bean.

External Links

Halloween Toons
Big Toons Homestarloween Party (costumes), The House That Gave Sucky Treats (costumes), Pumpkin Carve-nival (costumes), 3 Times Halloween Funjob (costumes, theme), Halloween Fairstival (costumes), Halloween Potion-ma-jig (costumes), Happy Hallow-day (costumes), Jibblies 2 (costumes), Most in the Graveyard (costumes), Doomy Tales of the Macabre (costumes), Which Ween Costumes? (costumes), I Killed Pom Pom (costumes), The House That Gave Sucky Tricks (costumes), Later That Night... (costumes), Haunted Photo Booth (costumes), Mr. Poofers Must Die (costumes), The Homestar Runner Enters The Spooky Woods (costumes), Halloween Hijinks (costumes), Halloween Hide & Seek (costumes, walkthrough, responses, v2.0 trailer), 2022 Costume Pack Now Available (costumes), The Show: Ween Edition (costumes)
Teasers Jibblies 2 Teaser, Most in the Graveyard Teaser, Doomy Tales of the Macabre Teaser, Halloween Safety, The House That Gave Sucky Tricks Teaser, Later That Night... Teaser, Haunted Photo Booth Teaser, Mr. Poofers Must Die Teaser, The Homestar Runner Enters The Spooky Woods Teaser, 2022 Costume Pack Now Available Teaser, The Show: Ween Edition Teaser
Other
  Site Components Main Page 7, Ween Intro
Toons halloweener, ghosts, Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 7.0, Malloween Commercial, That a Ghost, Halloween Awards Show, Costume Commercial, Decomposing Pumpkins, Punkin Show, Joystick Wagglin' with Videlectrix: Halloween Edition, Large Bean, Kooky Moonlight
Puppet Stuff Homestar vs. Little Girl 2, Marshie vs. Little Girl, Greatest American Homestar, Action Cool News-oween Report
Games Egg Throwing Game, Strong Bad's Treat Snatcha, Marshie's Malloween Mix-Up, Punkin Stencils
Fan Costumes 2003, 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008, 2009, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, 2020, 2021, 2022, 2023
Costumes Halloween Costumes, Rejected Costumes, Other Halloween Costumes, Strong Bad's Teaser Costumes, What are you supposed to be?, I really like your costume, Icon References
Retrieved from "http://www.hrwiki.org/wiki/The_House_Gave_Sucky_Tricks"
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