SBCG4AP Playthrough

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Revision as of 02:07, 11 March 2020

Matt Chapman plays the Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People episode Homestar Ruiner, performing the voices live.

Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad, Matt Chapman, Strong Sad, Homestar Runner, Coach Z, Matt Chapman as Marzipan, Bubs, The King of Town, Matt Chapman as Pom Pom, The Cheat, Marshie, Coach Z as Narrator Strong Bad and Cheerleader, Homestar Runner as So and So, What's Her Face and The Ugly One, Basketballa, Drive-Thru Whale, Strong Mad, Crack Stuntman as Strong Bad, Reynold as Strong Bad, Silent Rip as Strong Bad, Fightgar as Strong Bad, Homsar as Strong Bad, Stinkoman as Strong Bad, Senor Cardgage as Strong Bad, Hot Dip as Strong Bad, Old-Timey Strong Bad as Strong Bad, The Homestar Runner as Homestar Runner, Announcer, Matt Chapman as Harry Caray as Strong Bad, Dooble as Strong Bad, Trauncles Narrator, Crackotage, D n' D Greg, Strong Badman, Marshie as Marzipan, Character 3

Date: Sunday, August 12, 2018

Running time: 1:48:11

Transcript

{The video opens. The title screen for Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People is displayed. Strong Bad walks into the frame and looks up at the title text.}

STRONG BAD: {mumbling} Oh, I am Strong Bad, looking at the title.

{Strong Bad walks off. Several seconds later, he pops up in the foreground.}

STRONG BAD: I am in the foreground.

{Strong Bad descends. Several seconds later, he walks back in and dances in the center of the screen.}

STRONG BAD: I am in the list!

{Strong Bad walks off. He then drops in from the top of the screen.}

STRONG BAD: Whoa, I fell down from the sky!

{Strong Bad walks off. He then runs past quickly in the far background.}

STRONG BAD: {muttering quickly} I am running across the background really fast!

{Strong Bad walks in front of the foreground. He stops to talk, but doesn't say anything, then turns around to walk away in the background. Strong Bad then pops up upside-down on the top of the screen.}

STRONG BAD: I am upside-down! Do I look upside-down to you?

{Strong Bad leaves the screen. The mouse cursor hovers over the "Click here to Start" button, but doesn't click on it. Strong Bad walks past once again.}

STRONG BAD: This looks like the name of this game. {turns to face the viewer} From what I can tell.

{Strong Bad walks off.}

{The Click Here to Start button is clicked. The main menu page of Homestar Ruiner appears.}

MATT: Oh man, you guys. Hi, my name's Matt. I never done this kind of thing before. Let's all... let the wheels come off together... as this train wreck leaves the station. Uh... I'm gonna play some Homestar Ruiner here 'cause that's probably the one I remember the least, probably be the most entertaining. Uh, Kickstarter Live does not have the ability to screen-share like Twitch or something else similar. So I just pointed a crappy webcam at a crappy old PC, and we're gonna do this thing. Um, I will probably mostly stay in character but occasionally pop out to give my voice a break and if I remember something funny about the game, while we were making it, maybe I'll say that. Um... I will warn you in advance that uh, I'm not gonna be able to do the Teen Girl Squad sections of the game, 'cause that would end our evening real quick. Um, so I apologize uh, in advance for that. Um, what else? Is uh... I'll stop talking soon, stepped in cooper, don't have to listen to my normal voice. That's weird. Okay, cool, people are showing up. This is awesome. Um, I apologize again for the quality of the video, but if the uh... let me know about the audio so I can turn down voices and things. Oh, and I know for a fact that there's no music whatsoever, uh, so here let's change—

{The settings screen is toggled. The option for voices is set at the minimum setting.}

MATT: — I'll just sing along the opening song. I'll just turn it down a little bit. 'Cause I know that if you turn it all the way down, there's no music or sound. And I don't think I'd be able to do it completely a capella. Uh, though it would probably be, uh, lovely to watch me fail. Uh, okay, go back.

{The new game screen is activated.}

MATT: And we'll just do a new game. I'm just gonna do this. We're just gonna get into it. I gotta lotta hot tea over here. And some honey. And some snacks. And just gonna go until my head hits the desk or until you all leave. No, that's probably not true. I'll probably go before you. And if anything bad happens, um, uh...

{The "Technical Difficultes" card from pizzaz is held in front of the screen, showing a confused The Cheat in front of an unplugged outlet.}

MATT: The Cheat will help me out here. {The card is removed} I dunno. Shut up, this is awkward and weird not having anyone to talk to except for chats. Which is great, 'cause there's a lot of them. Hi, and um... here we go. We're gonna start a new game.

{The mouse hovers over the green "Yep!" button.}

MATT: Yep.

{The screen goes dark, showing the reflection of Matt in the monitor.}

MATT: Look, there I am. Don't look! Don't look. Don't look. {Matt leans out of view and points at the webcam} Look, there's the crappy webcam! It's on top of a game.

{The opening scene of Homestar Ruiner fades in. Strong Bad is sleeping on the couch with a bag of Potate chips on his boxing glove. The action is subtitled throughout.}

STRONG BAD: {mumbling} Wha? Oh, Rhino... Rhinofeeder. {wakes up} Whoa, I was just dreaming about... muffins. There it is.

{Strong Bad jumps off the couch and wanders through the House of Strong.}

STRONG BAD: {not singing} I wake up every morning feeling awesome. Even though I slept on the remote again last night. Ow!

{Strong Bad kicks The Cheat into the dryer and climbs the stairs.}

STRONG BAD: Time to tear up another day, the Strong Bad freakin' way! Like an imploding star, like a burning car, my style shines so bright!

{Strong Bad leaps to give Strong Mad a high five.}

STRONG BAD: {singing} Please, stop trying, to handle my style. Because you can't, no you can't, oongh, handle my style.

{Strong Bad climbs upstairs and throws the Potate bag at Strong Sad.}

STRONG BAD: Please, seriously, quit trying to handle my style. {stops singing} Unless you're a lady. Then you're cordially invited to have a giant slice {flourishing at the end} of my styyyyyyle!

{Strong Bad checks his email. No voiceover as Strong Bad brings it up.}

STRONG BAD: Okay, wait. Wait! I gotta skip this. I'm gonna skip it so I can turn off the voice.

{The email is skipped through.}

STRONG BAD: Oop, oop, skip! Skip! Skip! Skip!

{Strong Bad leaves the computer.}

STRONG BAD: Skip! Skip! {The Track pops up on the map button} Here we go. Skip!

{The settings screen is toggled. The voice setting is turned down to nothing.}

STRONG BAD: Voices off!

{Back to the game. Strong Bad examines his stool.}

STRONG BAD: Ah, my trusty steed. Stooly, I'd ride you into email battle any day.

{The mouse hovers over the calendar, but it takes a while before it is clicked.}

STRONG BAD: {mumbling} Uh oh, there we go. Lock up. {talking} Today's the day I finally give Homestar his long overdue pummeling.

{The mouse hovers over the rave switch.}

STRONG BAD: {mumbling} Gonna do a little bit of this.

{The rave switch is clicked.}

STRONG BAD: Check this out!

{The light switch rave proceeds.}

STRONG BAD: The system is down. The system is down. Ah, I sometimes get tired of that. What about this one?

{The normal light switch is clicked. The lights turn off and on.}

STRONG BAD: Boooring! {The subtitles say 'Intriguing'} I said 'boring'. I'm gonna just rewrite some of this on the fly.

{The light switch is clicked again.}

STRONG BAD: Not so intriguing.

{Strong Bad walks across the hallway.}

STRONG BAD: Let's see, what's over here.

{Strong Bad knocks on the door to Strong Sad's room.}

STRONG BAD: Hey Strong Sad! You in there?

STRONG SAD: Yes?

STRONG BAD: C'mon, lemme in! I just want to punch you a few hundred times.

STRONG SAD: Not interested.

{Strong Bad goes downstairs.}

STRONG BAD: Oh, this is that music from my... sultry poems. I'm Dr. Marvin Rubdown. The sage is like a scented candle. From the... section of Pier One. {he walks past the kitchen} I forget how that one goes. Let's check out the SeeDee Spinner.

{Strong Bad examines the SeeDee Spinner.}

STRONG BAD: Let's just see what's in the old SeeDee Spinner. {switches it on} Ugh, it's Strong Sad's copy of "The Best of Brit-Pout, the Nineties Years".

{The mouse hovers over the Cheat Commandos Os cereal box.}

STRONG BAD: I wanna see this Cheat Commandos over here. And Suge Brown.

{Strong Bad examines the microwave.}

STRONG BAD: I can't use the WavyMic, its door's stuck shut with nacho entrails and mangled action figures.

{The Map is clicked.}

STRONG BAD: All right, let's go.

{The map screen is brought up with Strong Bad's house in the center of an empty field.}

STRONG BAD: Let's see now... where should I put the track on my map? Oh yeah, this is a weird thing. Where we didn't want... got to decide in terms of canon where everything is. Free Country, USA. So, I just gotta make it up. Each game.

{A spot in the lower left corner is selected, and Strong Bad scribbles the symbol for the Track in place.}

STRONG BAD: Let's go to The Track! I don't remember what we're supposed to be doing, in this game, because I skipped the intro!

{The Track is clicked. Strong Bad walks in from a path in the Field. Pan over to show Homestar Runner warming up. Homestar is clicked.}

STRONG BAD: All right, Homestar. I'm not sure why this never occurred to me before, but some French guys said that I should beat you up, and I for one tend to think he's right! Put up your dukes!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh hello, Strong Bad. Are you here to watch the race?

{A balloon with a "race" symbol appears above Strong Bad's head.}

STRONG BAD: Checkered flags. Here to watch checkered flags.

{The option is clicked.}

STRONG BAD: A race? You mean like a race-race, race race race?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: You haven't heard about the Free Country USA Triannual Race to the End of the Race? It's only the coolest and most important sporting event in the history of sporting events I'm about to compete in, ever! Whoo!

STRONG BAD: A race, eh? Y'know, beating you in a race would almost be as much fun as beating you senseless!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: I'd like to see you try, Strong Bad. I've been training my twees off for weeks now, and besides, Marzipan has promised me a big victory party after I win.

{The checkered flags and a bottle of champagne with a popped cork appear above Strong Bad. The mouse hovers over the "party" option, but is not clicked yet.}

MATT: Yeah, Jackson Schafer, this game, this game was made in, not in the early 2000's but the late 2000's. So we're just- we're just recreating the vibe of the live playthrough of 2008, the year the game came out. Ten years ago, yesterday, I found out.

{The "party" option is clicked.}

STRONG BAD: Did someone say pwaughty?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh hecks yeah. Marzipan's putting together a huge party with floats and cake jugglers and balloonmanimals and...

STRONG BAD: And why was I, Lord High Awesomeparty, occasionally known as Strong Bad, not invited?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Whisperingly, I don't think Marzipan likes you very much.

{The dialogue options return. The "cancel" button is clicked.}

STRONG BAD: All this race talk has intrigued me... I believe I will postpone your pummeling... a-for now.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Pummeling?

{Homestar's cell phone rings.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Hang on. Hold on. I gotta take this.

{He answers it.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Yes, Marzipan? Yes? Yes. Yes. Yes? Nooo! Yes. Yes! I miss you too, puddin' sack. See you after the race. Buh-eye.

{He hangs up.}

STRONG BAD: Girlfriend troubles?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Not me, bro. Marzipan just wanted my opinion on the decorations... and the cake jugglers... and the plight of the lowland toad weasel... and the... grrr!

{Homestar kicks his phone away.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: I'm getting frustrated! I'm kicking my phone! {angrily} Pardon me. I'm off to the locker room to reacquire my game face.

{Homestar walks off.}

{A symbol for Marzipan's house pops up on the map button.}

STRONG BAD: {mumbling} Oh, where we gonna go? {Strong Bad starts running down the track} Go over here, talk to a different character. Let's get some variety in these voices. First I'll get the cell phone.

{Strong Bad picks up Homestar's cell phone.}

STRONG BAD: Homestar's cell phone is finally mine! Now I can... change all his... {uncertainly} speed dials? Mwah-hah-haah?

{Strong Bad proceeds down the track toward Coach Z.}

STRONG BAD: Oh man, the-the music needs to be turned down. Everyone. What's the- how we do it on the voice versus music versus sound effects hearability? Music is fine, good, it's good. All good. Audio hearability is good. Is the video doing a weird jumpy-outy thing for you guys, or is that just my weird computer? {a mic drop is heard} Just me. Sweet! Let's talk to Coach Z.

{Coach Z is clicked.}

STRONG BAD: Coach Z! What the good word?

COACH Z: No time for jibbers or jabbers right now, Strong Bad! I've got to make sure this race goes off without a hitch!

{The checkered flag and the Strong Bad dialogue options appear.}

STRONG BAD: {mumbling} And if I'm wondering...

'{The "race" option is clicked.}

STRONG BAD: Tell me more about this "race" of which you speak.

COACH Z: Haven't you heard? It's time for the Free country USA Triannual Race to the End of the Race!

STRONG BAD: Habbalah what now?

COACH Z: You know, the FCUTRER. {pronounced "Fuh-COO-Trer"} Every three years, the greatest airthletes in the world gather to pit their pits against the most grueling obstaircle course devised by man or beast, all in the hopes of winning the coveted Free Country USA Triannual Race to the End of the Race Silver Trophy of Ultimate Destiny!

STRONG BAD: You mean the FCUTRERSTUD? {pronounced "Fuh-COO-Treh-Stud"}

COACH Z: The FCUTRERSTUD! Exactly!

{The two dialogue options pop up again. Matt's hand waves in front of the camera.}

STRONG BAD: Ooh! Let's talk about me, ooh, uh, it's a hand.

{The "Strong Bad" option is clicked.}

STRONG BAD: After talking to my bad buddy Homestar, I, Strong Bad, have decided to compete and dominate in the Free Country USA I'm-not-gonna-say-this-anymore. Where's the starting line?

COACH Z: Well now, that's going to be a bit of a praeblem, Strong Bad. The deadline for entering the race was over a month ago.

STRONG BAD: Oh, what?

COACH Z: In fact, there's only two official entrants in this year's race: Homestar, and Paem-Paem.

STRONG BAD: Not exactly a clash of the titans there, Coach.

COACH Z: Yeah, maybe we should have put up some flyers or something.

{The dialogue options pop back up again. The cancel button is clicked.}

STRONG BAD: Oh man, the Heavy Lourde! What killed Homsar once! And then never again.

{The Heavy Lourde is clicked. Strong Bad examines it.}

STRONG BAD: Hey Coach Z! What's this heavy lourde for?

COACH Z: That's the second leg of the Race to the End of the Race! The Pogo-Stick-While-Carrying-A-Heavy-Lourde leg!

STRONG BAD: Ah yes, of course. How silly of me. {mumbling} Hard to keep up, sometimes. {Strong Bad runs toward the Locker Room} Go check out Homestar. What am I supposed to be doing right now?

{Strong Bad stops in front of the locker room door.}

MATT: Look you guys, this is not- this is not Strong Bad live streaming this. It's just some weirdo that you don't care about. So I apologize if there's any magic spoiled by seeing my hand or my reflection.

{Strong Bad enters the locker room. Inside, an icon indicating an email pops up.}

STRONG BAD: Ooh, a new email.

{Strong Bad opens the map.}

STRONG BAD: I got half a mind to go over to Marzipan's and give her a piece of the rest of my mind about not inviting me to her sucko party! {exaggerated} But where should I put her house on my map?

{A space on the bottom of the map is selected, and Strong Bad scribbles Marzipan's house in that spot. The mouse hovers between "close" and Marzipan's house.}

STRONG BAD: And be's going there? {whipsering} You guys. Does anybody have... game facts open? Because I don't remember what I'm supposed to do! And no, stop saying this map is canon! It is not canon! There is no canon! {The microphone is tapped}

{Marzipan's house is clicked. strong Bad arrives in Marzipan's front yard.}

STRONG BAD: Uh... {mumbling as the mouse hovers over the balloons, singing} Would you like to ride in my beautiful balloons?

{The balloons are clicked. As Strong Bad reaches to get them, Marzipan rushes in to stop him.}

MARZIPAN: {with Matt doing the voice} Don't touch the balloons! Do you know how hard it is to find eco-friendly mylar?

STRONG BAD: There's my best Marzipan. Melissa is busy.

{The loose dirt is clicked. Strong Bad walks over to examine it.}

STRONG BAD: Hey, where'd your stupid ficus go? I was gonna pee on it!

MARZIPAN: {Matt's voice} I've temporarily transplanted Crezenda- Credenza indoors so that he won't get trampled or peed on by clumsy party-goers.

Fun Facts

Trivia

• This is the longest official Homestar Runner content of all time.
• This is the first time a Two More Eggs character has been in official Homestar Runner content.
• Matt has previously voiced Marzipan in Tis True, Pom Pom, Tis True.

Inside References

• The Technical Difficulties sign from pizzaz is used.

Fast Forward

• Strong Bad wears a Viewtiful Joe costume in Mr. Poofers Must Die.

External Links

• Watch the live stream