The Homestar Runner

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This article is about the old-timey character. For the storybook world character, see The Homestar Runner (storybook). For the modern-day character, see Homestar Runner.
"Go soak your fat head."

The Homestar Runner (also known as Old-Timey Homestar or Kick the Can Homestar) is the Old-Timey version of Homestar Runner. He lives during the Great Depression. His primary interest is finding food for himself and his companions, Old-Timey Marzipan and Fat Dudley. He is frequently pitted against Old-Timey Strong Bad, who is typically unsuccessful at foiling The Homestar Runner's efforts.

He greatly resembles his modern-day counterpart, particularly the earlier forms, with an armless torso, underbite, star shirt, and a propeller cap. In addition to being in grayscale like all other Old-Timey characters, his eyes are more circular, his underbite is more curvy, and he has a distinct line between his legs and his shoes. His propeller cap looks less like a baseball cap, and more like a traditional propeller cap, with no peak in front and vertical stripes. In April Fool 2014, the Old-Timey universe was "brought into the modern age" with Colorarization, revealing that he may have a light blue cap and shoes, with a pink shirt.

The Homestar Runner can play "a mean worshboard". He also appears to have incredible aim when firing a spitball out of a straw, as he was able to peg Stinkoman in the eye from a great distance in 20X6 vs. 1936. He has also been kicking an old Can of Water Soup around ever since his dog (possibly named "Old Eyelids", according to a commentary) "worshed" away in the storm of '28. While he seems to like most of the characters he meets, he dislikes Sickly Sam, whom he refers to as their "worst friend," and Rumble Red, whom he labels a "Communist fool" and eventually kills with the help of Old-Timey Marzipan's Contraption. He apparently has a sister, as mentioned to him during his appearance in Kick the Can's commentary, though he refuses to say anything about her.

Head shot straight-on.

The Homestar Runner apparently managed to call Marzipan using an empty soup can and a length of twine in Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 13.2, even though he exists in a different era than modern-day Marzipan.

He is The Brothers Chaps' favorite character in the entire Homestar Runner body of work. Mike thinks he's a lot smarter and more aware of what's going on than modern-day Homestar. Though this may be true, The Homestar Runner does not seem to be able to either hear or understand others very well, and often responds with a flat "What?" to other characters who try to converse with him. Like his modern day counterpart, he frequently mispronounces words, pronouncing "accumulated" as "acoomalated" and "Communist" as "Commonest".

"E'erybody, e'erybody."

He has the ability to make his legs longer, as demonstrated in Ballad of The Sneak and Sickly Sam's Big Outing. He also appeared in an April Fools' version of the Index Page in sbemail206.

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