Commandos in the Classroom

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Toon Category: Shorts
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Commandos in the Classroom!

The Cheat Commandos teach about inappropriate peer-2-teen choice behaviors.

Cast (in order of appearance): Gunhaver, Fightgar, Silent Rip, Crackotage, Reynold, Blue Laser Minion, Firebert, Blue Laser Commander, Reinforcements

Places: Cheat Commandos HQ, Price Style, Seedy Bar, Blue Laser HQ (Easter Egg)

Date: Tuesday, September 13, 2005

Running Time: 4:15

Page Title: Buy all our Teaching Aids and Filmstrips!

DVD: Everything Else, Volume 2

Contents

[edit] Transcript

{Open to Cheat Commandos headquarters; a title which reads "'MOVIE NIGHT!' written by A. Chimendez Jr." appears. Cut to some Cheat Commandos at The Screen.}

CRACKOTAGE: Movie night is my favorite night. I think it is my favorite night. Hee hee hoo hoo!

SILENT RIP: Are you even trying anymore?

{Crackotage looks offended and sad.}

GUNHAVER: All right boys, time for a little R&R. Tonight we've got the old family favorite Pony Fights 2!!!

{the lights dim, and the big screen cuts to the green rating screen. It reads:}

THE FOLLOWING FILM HAS BEEN APPROVED FOR
CERTAIN AUDIENCES
BY SOME PEOPLE WHO KNOW WHAT'S BEST


IT BE RATED
PG-13 FOR SEVERE CUSSING AND
VERY ILLEGAL PONY FIGHTS

EVERYBODY: Yay! Yeah!

SILENT RIP: All right! PG-13!

GUNHAVER: Uh, sorry Reynold, {He flicks the lights back on.} I'm afraid lights-out for you is at oh-now hundred hours!

FIGHTGAR: Yeah, all that cuss-language might give you nightmares. Ah-ha ha ha.

REYNOLD: Oh, I can handle it. Why, I can even swear a cuss myself! {clears throat} Diaper biscuits.

OTHER COMMANDOS: {unrestrained laughter}

REYNOLD: Oh, I can't do anything right. I might as well go home and get teen pregnant.

{The other commandos gasp, Fightgar covers his mouth in surprise, Slient Rip spills some of his popcorn, and the Blue Las-Alert siren sounds once.}

GUNHAVER: Easy there, Cheat Cuss-mando, you just made an inappropriate peer-to-teen choice behavior!

REYNOLD: A whaaa?

{cut to the black and white Commandos in the Classroom logo, which looks like Reynold in a mortarboard cap pointing a pointer at an A+}

ANNOUNCER: {singing} Commandos in the Classroom!

{Cut to another black-and-white slide that reads "LESSON 4: INAPPROPRIATE PEER-2-TEEN CHOICE BEHAVIORS". At the bottom in fine print it reads "*TEACHERS, USE THIS TIME TO CATCH A NAP OR HAVE A SMOKE."}

ANNOUNCER: Lesson four: Inappropriate peer-to-teen choice behaviors!

{Cut back to Gunhaver and Reynold in Cheat Commandos HQ}

GUNHAVER: Here, Reynold, lemme show you.

{Gunhaver points the remote at the screen, which briefly shows two ponies fighting in a field. The other commandos start to cheer but then immediately groan as the picture changes to a diagram of a person's head showing the brain.}

SILENT RIP: I was watchin' the ponies...

GUNHAVER: The brain is divided into two halves:

{The brain in the diagram gets a jagged line down the middle}

GUNHAVER: —the good half—

{A dotted line points to the left half saying "GOOD HALF"}

GUNHAVER: —and the evil half.

{A dotted line points to the right half saying "EVIL HALF"}

GUNHAVER: The good half likes positive things, like Self-Esteem, {the word "Self-Esteem" appears in the middle of the screen and moves through the mouth into the "good" half of the brain.} Oreo Cheesecake, {again, the words appear and move through the mouth and up into the brain} Bringing Your Old Man a Cold One, {again, then cut to a close-up of Gunhaver}

GUNHAVER: —and all our playsets and toys.

{Gunhaver smiles a big grin toward the camera. Cut back to the diagram, which zooms in on the "evil" half.}

GUNHAVER: But the evil half likes—

{as each of the next four words is said, it appears from the "evil" half of the brain and moves to the right side of the screen}

GUNHAVER: Littering! Loitering! Latering! Lootering! And all the other stuff that causes inappropriate peer-to-teen choice behaviors!

{The other words vanish and are replaced by "Inappropriate peer-2-teen choice behaviors". Cut back to Gunhaver and Reynold.}

REYNOLD: But how do I keep from making peer-to-teen choice awards, Gunhaver?

GUNHAVER: If you find yourself in a sticky {makes "finger quotes"} teenage situation, just remember these three pro-positive life tools:

{Cut to Silent Rip in a classroom, next to a Blue Laser minion. Both appear to be taking tests. On the blackboard is written, "ASSIGNMENTS", "TAKE TEST" and "STARE AT CLOCK UNTIL I GET BACK". Silent Rip's assignment reads, "Problem 4. Compare and contrast your 2 most favorite 'Ernest' movies. Show your work!"}

BLUE LASER MINION: What did you get for number four, sir?

SILENT RIP: Uhhhh...

{Gunhaver suddenly enters the screen from the bottom.}

GUNHAVER: Freeze!

{The screen cuts to a diagram of a male body with "PRO-POSITIVE LIFE TOOL" written next to it, and a giant "#1" appears next to it.}

GUNHAVER: Pro-positive life tool number one:

{Gunhaver appears on the screen}

GUNHAVER: say you have one of any debilitating gold rush era diseases!

{He pulls out a book labeled "BIG BOOK OF DEBILITATING GOLD RUSH ERA DISEASES", and "BBODGRED" on the spine. Cut back to the classroom.}

BLUE LASER MINION: Come on, man. I thought we were bros!

SILENT RIP: I can't! I have the typhoid! Or the cholera!

BLUE LASER MINION: Never mind. Your answers are gross, bro.

{Silent Rip smiles. Cut back to Gunhaver and Reynold, the latter of whom is now wearing a false beard and a prospector's hat, and is holding a mining pick.}

REYNOLD: Gold rush era diseases, eh?

GUNHAVER: Now you're getting it!

{Cut to the supermarket, where two Blue Laser Minions are holding a lot of bottles labeled "WINE COOLA," some of them in their pants, and Fightgar is standing nearby.}

FIRST BLUE LASER MINION: Hey, man. We need you to put these wine coolers down your pants... er, down your headband.

FIGHTGAR: Oh, um, uh...

{Again, Gunhaver suddenly jumps onto the screen.}

GUNHAVER: STOP!

{The diagram of the body returns, but now, it's a woman's body. "#2" appears on the side and "EN SAP" at the bottom.}

GUNHAVER: Pro-positive life tool numero two:

{silhouettes of the two Blue Laser minions and Fightgar appear with question marks over them. The minions are labeled "INAPPROPRIATORS"}

GUNHAVER: Envision your Inappropriators {Fightgar is labeled "STILL JUST YOU" and the minions turn into pizza slices.} as giant slices of pizza.

{Cut back to the supermarket.}

FIGHTGAR: Ah-ha ha ha! You're deep-dish! Ah-ha ha! And you've got extra cheese! Ah-ha ha ha ha! Oh, pepperoni!

FIRST BLUE LASER MINION: What's with this guy?

SECOND BLUE LASER MINION: He sounds crazy. Should we shoot him?

FIRST BLUE LASER MINION: Abso-total-lutely!

{The second minion pulls out a large gun and aims it at Fightgar, who looks startled. The scene cuts back to Gunhaver and Reynold, who is now wearing a baseball cap and holding a bat, with a ball sitting next to him, and we can hear shooting over the next exchange.}

REYNOLD: But Gunhaver, I've never had pizza before!

GUNHAVER: But you know what it looks like, don't you?

REYNOLD: {smiling} I think so!

GUNHAVER: Now you're getting it!

{Cut to an alley next to a building labeled "Seedy Bar". Firebert walks by in the background, while the Blue Laser Commander is standing next to a building.}

BLUE LASER COMMANDER: {Jumping out} Hey, kid! Wanna smoke some candy {holds up chocolate bar} with me?

{The diagram of the body, which now appears to be a bear, appears over the scene this time. "#3" appears on the right. Firebert and Blue Laser Commander lean back to make room for the diagram}

GUNHAVER: {voiceover} Pro-positive life tool number three:

{The diagram and "#3" disappear, and Silent Rip appears from the side of the building and throws a smoke bomb.}

GUNHAVER: Have your light infantry create a thick smokescreen.

{The commander starts hacking and coughing, while Firebert pulls out a gun and shoots it at the commander.}

GUNHAVER: Then lay down some suppressive fire until the snipers are in position. {He stops firing.} But look out for surface-to-air antioxidant missiles!

{Firebert jumps out of the way as three missiles, labeled "100% GREEN TEA" and painted with skulls-and-crossbones, just barely miss the Commander.}

BLUE LASER COMMANDER: Ah!

GUNHAVER: {voiceover} Then by the time Reinforcements shows up...

{Reinforcements shows up.}

REINFORCEMENTS: Hey, guys.

{Cut to a screen with Gunhaver.}

GUNHAVER: ...Your mom {an image of a station wagon appears} should be waiting for you in the bus turnaround!

{The theme music plays. Cut back to Gunhaver and Reynold.}

GUNHAVER: So, do you think you're ready to make {more finger quotes} appropriate inappropriate whatever thingies now?

REYNOLD: Yes sir! I'm gonna get high on life!

{Silent Rip walks up.}

SILENT RIP: We're about to start the movie! You guys coming?

GUNHAVER: What do you think, Reynold?

REYNOLD: {thinks a moment, then grins} I've got dysentery!

GUNHAVER: Good job, little buddy!

{Gunhaver pushes Reynold offscreen to stage left, then walks with Silent Rip to stage right}

GUNHAVER: Man, I can't wait to see some serious pony carnage!

{Fade to the Commandos in the Classroom logo again.}

ANNOUNCER: {singing} Commandos in the classroom!

{Cut to an image that reads "NEXT WEEK... LESSON 5: LISTEN YOU GUYS, YOU SERIOUSLY NEED TO START SHOWERING EVERYDAY"}

ANNOUNCER: Next week, lesson 5: Listen you guys, you seriously need to start showering every day!

{"THE END" and "BACK" appear at the bottom of the screen.}

[edit] Easter Eggs

  • Click on "Lesson" to see the "Commandos in the Classroom" Lesson 4 Worksheet.
LESSON 4
WORKSHEET
1. DRAW A PICTURE OF YOUR
FAVORITE INAPPROPRIATE

PEER-2-TEEN CHOICE BEHAVIOR




2. WHY DO YOU THINK REYNOLD
HAS NEVER TRIED PIZZA?
___________________________
___________________________
*(TEACHERS, THIS WORKSHEET SHOULD
BUY YOU 10-15 MORE MINUTES OF PEACE.
FIX YOURSELF A DRINK, MAYBE!)
  • Click on "Guys" for Blue Laser to get the wrong end of the stick.
{The Blue Laser Commander and a minion are standing in their HQ, dressed as pizza slices. The text "OPERATION DRESS UP AS PIZZA!!" is flashing on a screen in the background.}
BLUE LASER MINION: Um, I'm not entirely sure this is what they were talking about sir.
BLUE LASER COMMANDER: Shut it! Pizza can't talk!
  • Click on "Seriously" for the following exchange:
{Cut to Silent Rip and Crackotage in the HQ, with Pony Fights 2 playing in the background.}
SILENT RIP: Ah, you can do it. Try another one.
CRACKOTAGE: I think my rhymes are truly broke! Broke, broke, broke, broke, broke, broke, broke! Hoo-hoo, hweh-hweh!

[edit] Fun Facts

[edit] Explanations

  • SAP is an auxiliary audio channel for television that can be broadcast or transmitted both over the air and by cable TV. It is often used for an alternate language or descriptive video.
  • PG-13 is one of the film ratings used in the MPAA film rating system. It is a strong caution to parents that some material may be inappropriate for children under 13.
  • Deep-dish is a style of pizza in which the pizza is much thicker than usual, often requiring the use of a fork and knife to eat it.
  • Typhoid fever, cholera, and dysentery are bacterial diseases generally associated with the ingestion of drinking water contaminated by improper sanitation. Today's sanitation standards have all but wiped them out in developed countries, though they were common in the United States during the gold-rush era.
  • Antioxidants are chemicals that prevent the oxidation of other chemicals.
    • Green tea has been identified as a source of bioflavonoids, a type of antioxidant, hence the "100% Green Tea" labels on the missiles.
  • "Oh-now hundred hours" is a reference to the military use of the 24-hour clock, where the time is stated as a single 4-digit number. For example, using the 24-hour clock, 9 a.m. is 0900 hours (pronounced "Oh-nine hundred hours"), and 9 p.m. is 2100 hours ("twenty-one hundred hours").

[edit] Trivia

Smell that purple ink!!
  • The blackboard in the classroom sequence reads "ASSIGNMENTS", "TAKE TEST", and "STARE AT CLOCK UNTIL I COME BACK".
  • In the same scene as above, Silent Rip's test paper reads "Problem 4: Compare and contrast your 2 most favorite 'Ernest' movies. Show your work!"
  • This is the first time Reinforcements is shown in his animated form, and also the first time he talks in his own voice.
  • This is the longest "Short" cartoon on the website (although technically Limozeen vs. Sloshy has a longer running time if you add the length of all four songs together). This toon is in fact longer than a few of the main cartoons.
  • The line "Come on, man, I thought we were bros." is the first time a Blue Laser Minion has ended a sentence without referring to the person he was speaking to as "sir" or "ma'am".

[edit] Remarks

  • The episode is called "Movie Night", but when we see the headquarters, it's daytime.
  • When Gunhaver sees Reynold, he appears to turn a lightswitch on at the edge of the screen. But when the camera zooms out (when Fightgar starts talking), you can see there is no lightswitch in sight.
  • Cuss-mando is an example of a portmanteau.

[edit] Goofs

  • "Every day" is misspelled "everyday" on the slide at the end. In that context, it should be the two-word adverb, not the one-word adjective.
  • The clock in the classroom sequence has only 8 hours on its face, instead of 12.
  • When you are looking at the wider view of the HQ, the panel to the right of Reynold is blank. But when you get a close-up of Reynold, the panel has a bunch of buttons on it.

[edit] Inside References

  • There is also a reference to alcohol.
  • The grocery store scene takes place in the same aisle as Shopping for Danger.
  • The lesson four worksheet seems to be based on the application form in CGNU.
  • There are a couple of instances of smoking.
  • Reynold's remark, "I might as well go home and get teen pregnant", is another instance of pregnancy.
  • There is another reference to pants in this cartoon.
  • Lesson 5 is another mention of showering.

[edit] Real-World References

  • The title is based on Cable in the Classroom, a non-profit organization dedicated to providing educational programming to be aired in schools.
  • The Teen Choice Awards is an awards ceremony shown annually on Fox since 1999 in which teens get to vote for the winners of various categories such as movies, music, and television.
  • Oreo Cheesecake is a novelty dessert made by replacing the normal cheesecake crust with crushed Oreos.

[edit] Fast Forward

[edit] DVD Version

  • To access the Easter egg with Silent Rip and Crackotage, push down on the DVD remote until the H*R logo lights up. To access the scene of Blue Laser dressed up as pizza slices, push right until the star of the logo lights up. To access the Lesson 4 worksheet, press left until the logo turns red.
  • The DVD version features creators' commentary. To access it, switch your DVD player's audio language selection while watching.

[edit] Commentary Transcript

(Commentary by: Matt Chapman, Mike Chapman)

MATT: Do you remember watching things like this when you were in school, Mike?

MIKE: Yeah, back in the '80s we used to have to watch movies that were made in the '60s about peer pressure, hygiene, and...

MATT: Yeah. They taught me several things.

MIKE: Yeah, like...

MATT: Um...

MIKE: ...you needed to use deodorant, and,—

MATT: Absolutely!

MIKE: —The importance of showering and dressing out before gym class...

MATT: {laughs}

MIKE: ...why you couldn't wear your black jeans and trenchcoat out on to the blacktop! Now you can't wear your black jeans and trenchcoat at all.

MATT: Yeah, because you'll... you'll be a bad kid.

MIKE: {laughs}

MATT: I don't wanna get...

{pause until Reynold begins saying his "swear"}

MIKE: A-hem!

MATT: One of the original lines for that was him saying "crap-dang-fire", which is something our friend Jamie's mom, uh, used to say sometimes, she'd say "Crap-dang-fire!"

MIKE: {laughs}

MATT: {regarding Reynold's "teen pregnant" line} Ooh, that set off the, uh—

MIKE: Blue Las-Alert! {laughs}

MATT: {laughs}

MATT: That was such a bad thing he said that it thought Blue Laser was... {laughs} up to no good!

{pause until the "Commandos In The Classroom" logo is shown on screen}

MATT: Nice little logo you made there, Mikey.

MIKE: Thanks, Matty!

MATT: How often do you think we compliment things that we did—

MIKE: {laughs}

MATT: —or say, or talk about how much we like what we did on these commentaries?

MIKE: I really like that tie that Reynold's wearing.

MATT: {laughs}

{pause until divided brain is shown on the screen}

MIKE: I enjoy drawing brains, I gotta tell ya.

MATT: You did a good job on that brain. Looks real good.

{after a long pause}

MATT: Ummm, what else, Mike?

MIKE: Um, {pause} I'm kinda just watching the cartoon right now...

MATT: {laughs}

MIKE: ...I haven't seen it in a while.

MATT: Yeah.

MIKE: This is one of those ones, sometimes the cartoons that take a long time to make, I don't wanna watch for a long time. Sometimes I find that a year has gone by and I never watched the cartoon since the second we published it.

MATT: That's good.

MIKE: This might be one of those.

MATT: Assignments: Take test, stare at clock until I get back.

MIKE: That's a good teaching tool.

MATT: I'm pretty sure I got those instructions written on the board a few times during the course of schooling.

MIKE: I forget, what does his thing say?

MATT: His paper? Is that the one about Ernest movies?

MIKE: "Which is your favorite Ernest movie?" or something? I think there are way more Ernest movies out there there realizes.

MATT: That's true.

MIKE: Are those bottles empty?

MATT: NO! That's why you can see the bubbles in there.

MIKE: Okay.

MATT: That's just a really crystal-clear, uh, a crisp, clear wine cooler, Mike! Goes down smooth!

MATT:So those Pro-Positive Life Tool icons don't seem to make any sense. The first one was a girl's- a guy's body ingesting something, now it's a girl's circulatory system ingesting something, and the last time, it's, like, a bear that's devouring the logo.

MATT: {in response to Fightgar getting shot} OH! So did Fightgar just get killed?

MIKE: Uh, maybe.

MATT: I like how Reynold's costume continues to change. Now he's a little kid.

MIKE: {indecipherable}

MATT: He's little Jimmy out on the, uh, ballfield!

MATT: I wanna go to Seedy Bar!

MIKE: And, there's the bear.

{pause until Firebert fires on Blue Laser}

MATT: He's not a very good shot, Firebert. He's maybe two feet away from Blue Laser and can't hit him.

MIKE: Is that the first time Reinforcements said anything?

MATT: I think that's the first cartoon appearance of Reinforcements.

MATT: I like how they also kinda treat this like they're celebrities. The cartoon characters are like, {Gunhaver's voice} "Yeah, they're makin' me do this, I owe some customer service."

MIKE: Owe some customer... community service, maybe?

MATT: {normal voice} Community service, Mike!

MIKE: Customer service... you gotta go clean up the side of the highways for customer service.

MATT: {Gunhaver's voice} Thank you for calling MindSpring, this is Gunhaver! May I have your email address or account number, please?

MATT: {normal voice} I remember our teacher having that conversation with us in fifth grade.

[edit] Fun Facts

  • Matt's mention of MindSpring refers to his previous job at MindSpring before he quit to do Homestar Runner full time.

[edit] External Links

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