Bubs's Shady Business Practices

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"What kinda shady Bubs business you running here anyways? A Bubsness?"

From Strong Badia the Free:

STRONG BAD: You're a shady, shady character, Bubs.
BUBS: It's cool in the shade!

Bubs has been known to engage in all forms of shady, crooked, and sometimes downright illegal business practices, from simple overpricing to trading in stolen organs.

Contents

[edit] Bait and Switch

[edit] Counterfeiting

[edit] Debt Evasion

  • Email lackey — Bubs slams the shutters when Strong Bad with Doreauxgard pretends to be from the collection agency.

[edit] Defective and Substandard Goods

[edit] Embezzlement

[edit] Evidence Tampering

  • Bug In Mouth Disease — When Homestar approaches, Bubs is burning an envelope labeled "Exhibit A" and later tries to sell him a pancreas contained in a box labeled "Exhibit B".
  • DNA Evidence — Bubs sells Marzipan's DNA evidence to Strong Bad in a snow cone, and returns to her a test tube labeled "tampered with".
  • Email buried — Bubs tries to cover up his apparent burial of "a fella named Rich". (See also #Preventing the Lawful Burial of a Body)
  • I Killed Pom Pom — Bubs sells Homestar a 50 gallon drum of bleach, a 50 gallon drum of sawblades, and a 50 gallon drum of bodybags, in order to destroy the evidence of him "killing Pom Pom". He then advises Homestar to establish a false alibi for his "crime".

[edit] False Advertising

[edit] Fraud

[edit] Hacking

[edit] Harmful Goods

[edit] Health Code Violations

  • Email no loafing — The lunch specials that Bubs sells are already eaten.
  • Email the chair — Strong Bad describes the box of chicken beaks Bubs attempts to sell him as "anthrax-y".
  • One Two, One Two — Bubs makes sausages with a tennis ball and a box of General Tso's Chicken (including the box).
  • The Baloneyman — Bubs sells a sandwich with a bite taken out of it to an oblivious Homestar.
  • Donut Unto Others — Bubs hides and pretends to be closed when the health inspector arrives.
  • Flash is Dead! — Bubs' Fallout Shelter lacks proper toilet facilities, using empty cans as makeshift latrines.

[edit] Human Trafficking

[edit] Illegal Dumping

[edit] Information Mining and Spamming

  • Email unused emails — Bubs buys, as claimed, roughly 5000 email addresses at $0.25 apiece from Strong Bad (roughly $1250 total) to use in his weekly spamvertisments.

[edit] Intentionally Poor Crowd Control

  • Email local news — Bubs tricks Homestar, Marzipan, and the King of Town into queuing outside the Concession Stand (and paying for it) for no reason.
  • Toikey TV — The sale advertised by Bubs, "Bubs Friday", has a designated time for "Shovin' and Tramplin'". He also encourages mothers to fight each other and even draw blood.
  • A Decemberween Mackerel — Bubs intentionally has a queue last for 3 miles or 18 days, whichever comes first.
  • @StrongBadActual tweet (24 Nov 2017) — "Bubs Friday" 2017 ends with shoppers trapped in riot foam.

[edit] Invasion of Privacy

[edit] Legal Malpractice

[edit] Loan Sharking

  • Email other days — Bubs threatens to turn Strong Bad over to a "cut off your toes"-style collections agency if he doesn't pay up.

[edit] Mistreatment of Employees

  • Email part-time job — Strong Bad mentions that Bubs made him pay for his mascot costume.
  • On Break — Bubs only gives one smoking, pee, coffee, and maternity leave break each per day. He also doesn't allow Pom Pom to take breaks as he is not in the union.
  • @StrongBadActual tweet (2 May 2019) — Bubs pokes the person picking out shirts ("90% likely Strong Sad") in the eyes to ensure that the selection is random.

[edit] Operating Without a Valid License

  • Bug In Mouth Disease — Bubs claims to be a doctor despite his "doctor" card clearly being only for VCR repairs and fashion consultation.
  • Senorial Day — Bubs's entrepreneur license has "SUSPENDED" stamped across it.
  • Email licensed — Bubs sells unlicensed unlicensed Strong Bad merchandise.
  • The Baloneyman — Bubs mentions that the tag and license he has been operating under are both expired.
  • Strong Badia the Free — Bubs hints that his black market sells unlicensed merchandise.
  • Halloween Hide & Seek — Bubs has been operating an illegal rat casino out of a hidden chamber in the King of Town's Castle for years.

[edit] Organ Trafficking

[edit] Overpricing

[edit] Piracy

[edit] Preventing the Lawful Burial of a Body

[edit] Smuggling

  • SBCG4AP Tutorial — When Strong Bad comments that Bubs has gotten fat, he replies that he hasn't and is in fact just smuggling cantaloupes past the border under his shirt.
  • Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective — While Bubs was imprisoned in what would eventually become the Concession Stand, he sold himself hot dogs with files in them.

[edit] Stolen Goods

  • Cool Things — Bubs claims that he's closed and only gives Homestar the paint and shades when he asks Bubs to steal them for him, asserting that he never passes up a chance to stick it to the man.
  • Strong Badia the Free — Bubs's black market trades in organs of questionable origin and illegally obtained cultural artifacts. He trades Strong Sad's stolen Pretendix for an illegally excavated piece of pottery to Strong Bad.
  • Where My Hat Is At? — Bubs has Marzipan's hair on sale as a "wig" which he unabashedly says is stolen.

[edit] Weapons Dealing

[edit] Wildlife Trafficking

  • Homestar Ruiner — Strong Bad says that the last time he tried to navigate Bubs' Tele-stand, he ended up with a crate of rhino horns (though according to Strong Bad they were from a species not considered endangered).

[edit] Generic Mentions of Shadiness

  • Email local news (DVD commentary) — Strong Bad says that Bubs is helping him with Action Cool 5 as community service. When Mike Chapman asks what he did, Strong Bad replies that he is not supposed to say.
  • Broken Compy Menu — Homestar asks, "What kinda shady Bubs business you running here anyways? A Bubsness?"
  • Bug In Mouth Disease — Homestar asks if Bubs is an unethical quack, to which he responds, "the most quackinest."
  • Happy Fireworks — Bubs complains about how long the setup for the fireworks is taking, saying "I got peoples to rip off!"
  • Email isp — When Strong Bad confronts him with "throttling [Strong Bad] down", Bubs responds that throttling down is not one of the 99 ways he rips Strong Bad off.
  • Email licensed — Bubs says that the stuff that he sells in the Concession Stand is of worse quality than his shady bootleg operation.
  • Email buried (DVD commentary) — The Brothers Chaps say that they are trying to remember all the "sketchy things" that Bubs does.
  • Play Date — Bubs briefly spends time in federal prison for unexplained reasons.
  • The Baloneyman — At the end, Homestar says farewell to the "baloneym'n", adding "may your warbly theme song serve as a reminder that you probably have a really sketchy past."
  • Homestar Ruiner — Strong Bad wonders why it's called "Bubs' Concession Stand" as "Bubs never conceded anything in his whole miserable gigantic-mark-up life!"
  • Strong Badia the Free — Strong Bad says that Bubs is a "shady, shady character", to which Bubs responds that it's cool in the shade.
  • Doomy Tales of the Macabre — Bubs describes his wallet as the one that says "bad business practices".
  • @StrongBadActual tweet (23 Jun 2019) — Bubs stashes several stacks of dollar bills in the ceiling of the Concession Stand, to which Strong Bad writes "Keep it shady, Bubs."
    • This animation is reused in an Easter egg in the Flash version of the Strong Bad Email parenting. In this version, he is also seen stashing Homestar's severed leg.
  • @StrongBadActual tweet (8 May 2021) — Strong Bad asks if Bubs was involved in a fan getting a bunch of Cheat Commandos figures instead of the Season 2 figures.
  • @StrongBadActual tweet (25 Apr 2022) — Strong Bad claims to not trust Bubs's customer service.

[edit] See Also

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