The Baloneyman

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Toon Category: Shorts
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"Yeah...shaped like there's a bite taken out of it."

The return of the Baloney Sammich Truck!

Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Sad, Homestar Runner, Bubs, Strong Bad, Devil Strong Bad, Angel Strong Bad, The King of Town, Coach Z

Places: The Field

Date: Monday, June 30, 2008

Running Time: 2:48

Page Title: Moist and Hot on a Hot, Moist Day!


[edit] Transcript

{Strong Sad is standing in The Field, within a lemonade stand with a sign reading "LEMONADE Dusty Novels 99¢" and a drawing of a lemon. There are books in front of him, with spider webs on them}

STRONG SAD: Nothin' beats the heat like a dusty, musty novel. Step right up and take home a tome.

{Zoom out to reveal Homestar Runner standing near the stand}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Strong Sad, you've had some bad ideas in your time. But this is the best idea you've ever had! {A faint jingle is heard in the background} You'll make millions!

{The jingle gets louder}

BUBS: {offscreen} BAH-lo-NEH!

{As he speaks and holds the last syllable, Bubs drives his Baloney Sammich Truck into Strong Sad's booth, knocking both it and Strong Sad off screen}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Ooh! It's the baloneym'n! {eagerly} What should I get, what should I get?

{Cut to reveal a closer shot of Bubs and Homestar}

BUBS: Brand new for this season! I got the unrecognizable {Holds up a baloney sandwich shaped like a plane with a face and a two at the front} summer movie tie-in sammich!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Which movie is it from?

{Pause; Bubs takes a quick look at the sandwich and looks back at Homestar}

BUBS: The sequel!

{Homestar opens his mouth in surprise; A beep is heard, and the scene switches to a scene with Strong Bad and Bubs}

STRONG BAD: Whaddya got that'll cool me, cool me, cool me down?

BUBS: I got this baloney sammich {Holds up a sandwich shaped like a double popsicle} shaped like a popsicle!

STRONG BAD: I'll take it! {Bubs hands the sandwich to Strong Bad, and Strong Bad starts speaking to the viewers} That should be enough to fool my brain! {Strong Bad takes the sandwich and starts rubbing it on his head} Oh, yeah, that's the stuff.

{The scene darkens, and an oval-like shape opens up in Strong Bad's head, revealing an "angel" and "devil" Strong Bad}

DEVIL STRONG BAD: Y'see this guy? Rubbin' a sammich on his head?

ANGEL STRONG BAD: I know, I know...just let it go. You gotta pick your battles.

{Another beep is heard, and the scene switches again to a scene with Homestar and Bubs, only from inside the Baloney Sammich truck}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: I can't decide between the one with the gumball in the center, or the one shaped like there's a bite taken out of it.

{Cut back to an outside view of the two's conversation}

BUBS: {beginning to be sarcastic} Yeah...shaped like there's a bite taken out of it.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {slightly insulted} Yeaah. Shaped like there's a bite taken out of it.

{Cut to a closer view of Bubs}

BUBS: {more sarcastic} Yeeeeaaah. Shaped {Comes down hard on the -d part of the word} like there's a bite taken out of it.

{Cut to a close shot of Homestar}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Yeah, {angrily} shaped like there's a bite taken out of it!

{Another close view of Bubs}

BUBS: Yeah—

{Bubs is cut off; A beep is heard and the scene transitions into one with The King of Town, who appears to be sinking very slowly, and Bubs}

KING OF TOWN: I'll take one of everything—

BUBS: Mmhmm.

KING OF TOWN: Two of everything—

BUBS: Yep.

KING OF TOWN: Three of everything—

BUBS: Okay.

KING OF TOWN: Y'got any "Five of everything"?

BUBS: I got six of those!

KING OF TOWN: Then hurry it up, {Cut to a wider shot of the two, The King of Town seems to be melting in the foreground} I'm meltin' over here!

{A beep is heard again, and the scene cuts to another with Homestar and Strong Bad; They are standing near the rear of the truck, with a bike behind them; Homestar has his hat on backwards, and Strong Bad has mustard smeared on his forehead}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: What? You didn't hear man? Man, man. This kid, was doin' a flip on his 180. Busted his head, man. Busted his head.

{Cut to closer view of Strong Bad}

STRONG BAD: Homestar, what are you talking about?

{Cut to Homestar}


{Cut to original view}

STRONG BAD: And did this "head-busting" happen to anyone in particular?

{Cut back to Homestar}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {eyelids lower} No, summer talk! The kind of stuff that you talk about in the summer!

{Cut to Strong Bad again; Cricket noises are heard}

{After a few seconds, noises stop; Cut back to the normal view of Homestar and Strong Bad}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {angrily} Kids getting hurt on bikes!


{Another beep is heard; Cut to a scene with Coach Z ordering from the truck}

COACH Z: I'll have a—

BUBS: I'm all out!

COACH Z: Well then what about the—

BUBS: Outta' that one too!

COACH Z: Ah, then gimme a—

BUBS: Nowhere to be found!

{Zoom in on Bubs}

BUBS: All I got left is this thirty-two dollar napkin! {Holds up a napkin}

COACH Z: Ooh! {Cut to a close view of Coach Z} I could really put that thing through its paces.

{A beep is heard, and the scene transitions again; Strong Bad is walking away from the truck, while Homestar is looking at Bubs}

BUBS: Well that's it for this summer, kids. I gotta mosey on! I got an expired tag, expired license, and expired mayonnaise!

{Bubs turns to the front of the truck; Cut to a shot of the other side of the truck while it drives off}

BUBS: Ba-lo-ney!

{Homestar starts to run after the departing truck and stops}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Farewell, baloneym'n! And may your warbly theme song serve as a reminder that you probably have a really sketchy past.

{Zoom out to reveal Strong Sad, who has tire-like markings on his body, lying next to his broken novel stand}

STRONG SAD: {in pain} Ohh...

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Seriously, Strong Sad, you'll make millions!

{A little bit of music is heard as the screen turns black, and the word "END" is written with each letter being a baloney sandwich; For a few seconds, Strong Sad can be heard groaning before the toon ends}

[edit] Fun Facts

[edit] Explanations

  • A tome is a large or scholarly book.
  • To put something through its paces means to test the ability or skill of a person or system. How exactly Coach Z put the napkin through its paces is mercifully never explained.

[edit] Remarks

  • When the toon was first released, the lower-left sandwich changed several times during the toon. It was later changed so that it displayed the "Taste Tested" sandwich throughout the entire toon.
    • Initially, it was labeled "Dog Food" sandwich but was shaped like a normal baloney sandwich.
    • Later on, this "Dog Food Sandwich" had bread in the shape of a dog bone.
    • The only scene in which the "Taste Tested" sandwich originally appeared was when Bubs and Homestar were discussing it.
  • The toons preview for this short doesn't show the line of mustard on Strong Bad's head and still has "Dog Food Sandwich" in the lower-left corner.
  • At the time Bubs is conversing with The King of Town, he apparently has on hand at least 36 of everything. Since Bubs has at least six varieties of sandwich (not including the "Summer Movie Tie-in Sammich"), he would have at least 216 sandwiches in his truck (252 if "Summer Movie Tie-in Sammich" is counted).
    • If Dog Food sandwich variety, which is no longer present in the toon, is counted, he has at least 288 sandwiches in his truck.
  • When Bubs is talking to the King of Town, a faint hum can be heard on Bubs' initial three responses.
    • A similar incident occurred when Homestar almost has his "Migraine Time" in Play Date.
  • The YouTube description for this toon is "Here comes the Baloneyman!"

[edit] Goofs

  • After the toon zooms out, the King of Town's left eye does not move as he melts.
"All but my left eye is meltin' over here!"
  • The outline of the baloney on the sandwich with the bite in it overlaps the outline of the bread in all scenes except the scene where Homestar contemplates ordering it.
  • When Homestar is talking to Bubs about this sandwich, his body disconnects from his legs for a single frame.

[edit] Inside References

  • The Baloney Sammich Truck was first seen in Weclome Back, as Bubs' summer job, then seen again in Happy Dethemberween as the Dethemberween Thnikkaman's "unmarked" van.
  • Bubs runs over Strong Sad and his bookstand.
  • Bubs tries to sell Coach Z a napkin.
  • The term "warbly" was also used to describe a campfire song in Teen Girl Squad Issue 11.
  • Homestar's pronunciation of Baloneyman is another example of "man" being pronounced as "m'n".
  • Strong Bad asking for something to "cool me cool me cool me down" echoes his similar line, "hose me hose me hose me down", in couch patch.
  • Homestar's bike and wearing his hat backward are references to bike thief.
  • The bite taken out of the "Taste Tested" sandwich is reminiscent of the SBLOUNSKCHED! Bar, which featured a similar "bite mark".
  • Cricket noises can be heard while Homestar is trying to explain summer talk to Strong Bad.

[edit] External Links

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