love poems
From Homestar Runner Wiki
| Strong Bad Email #195 |
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Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad, Coach Z, Cheerleader, So and So, Meredith, Kim, Arrow'd Guy, Tenerence Love, Homestar Runner, Strong Sad (Easter egg)
Places:
Computer: Lappy 486
Date:
Running Time:
Page Title:
Contents |
Transcript
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STRONG BAD: {singing} Girl, where's my money that you owe me from all those emails that you wrote me?
subject: love poemI am in love. Unfortunately, I am absotively blunderous with
my words which I speak. Will you help me write a love poem?
Sincerely,
Just Another Hopeless Romantic
{Strong Bad reads "Hopeless" as "homeless".}}
STRONG BAD: {typing} Well, put on your patchy-stained jacket and gather 'round the fire in the trashcan, 'cause the Rub [Doctor] is here to help!
{Cut to the classroom, where Strong Bad is standing in front of the blackboard with a charcoal grey sweater and balding brown hair. Written on the blackboard next to an arrow pointing to Strong Bad is the word "Rub"}
STRONG BAD: Hi. I'm Doctor Marvin Rubdown. Did you know that writing love poems is as easy as telling a girl she's hot with the fance-pantsiest words you can think of? {cut to a view from Strong Bad's front-left} For poetic inspiration, I like to swipe the names of scented candle fragrances!
{Fade out. Fade in to Strong Bad, still with the sweater and hair, in front of a grey background.}
STRONG BAD: Your eyes, {holds up a lit orange and green candle with a label saying "Sandalwood Sage Sunset" in his left hand} they flicker like a Sandalwood Sage Sunset. {puts his hand back down.} Your hair is like Fresh Cotton Linens {holds up a lit white candle with a label saying "Fresh Cotton Linens" in his right hand} hung to dry on the deck. {puts his hand down, holds up a lit brown candle with a label saying "Grandma's Apple Cinnamon Spice" in his left hand} Grandma's Apple Cinnamon Spice is the scented candle I would use to describe your mouth. {puts his hand back down} And your nose. Like an unscented emergency candle {holds up a white, unlabeled candle in his left hand} for when the power goes out.
{Cut back to the classroom}
STRONG BAD: Another way of fancying up a love poem is to replace random letters in the middle of words with apostrophes.
{Cut to a closeup of the blackboard; the "Rub" and arrow have been erased but remain faintly visible.}
STRONG BAD: {as he speaks, the words in quotes appear on the blackboard in chalk} "It is never ever over, my lover of clover" becomes "'Tis ne'er e'er o'er, m'lo'er o' clo'er".
{Cut to a closeup of Strong Bad; Coach Z is leaning in from the right}
COACH Z: Now you're sporkin' my language!
STRONG BAD: Get out! {Coach Z leaves quickly}} Women love it when you talk all Elizabethan. {"-Elizabethan" appears to the right of Strong Bad.} But you shouldn't be afraid to get Kimberlian {"-Kimberlian" appears under "-Elizabethan"} or Meredithian {"-Meredithian" appears under "-Kimberlian"} if the need arises.
{Cut to a Teen Girl Squad scene with Cheerleader and So and So; Cheerleader is wearing the words "poi fect" and has an annoyed look.}
CHEERLEADER: I can't stand the way Meredith talks!
{cut to a wider shot with Cheerleader, still looking annoyed; So and So, frowning; and Meredith, bending backward with a pleased look on her face and her tongue hanging out}
MEREDITH: I'th hath a cruth on ethry boyth!
{cut to a yet wider shot; Cheerleader and So and So as before; Meredith now has a quizzical look; Kim is running in with her mouth wide open and her hair flying behind her}
KIM: I herly berly on gerly werly!
{Arrowed Guy appears dressed as William Shakespeare and spears Meredith and Kim; Cheerleader and So and So appear pleased.}
NARRATOR STRONG BAD: Shakespeared!
{Cut back to the classroom}
STRONG BAD: But if that frilly collar stuff is too olde schoole {pronounces the E's in both words as "eh"} for you, then why not try a more contemporary approach with an overweight R&B make-out jam? {music begins to play} As long as your tone is well-dressed and sweaty enough, it doesn't matter what you say!
{Cut to a black background with yellow lights shining out of it. Tenerence Love, holding a microphone and visibly perspiring, is in the lower right, slowly drifting to the upper left.}
TENERENCE LOVE: {sings} This is Tenerence Love with a sweaty overweight jam! {Tenerence Love disappears and reappears in the lower left, drifting to the upper right} My name is Tenerence Love with a sweaty overweight jam! {Tenerence Love disappears and reappears in the upper center, drifting down} It may be five pounds, {the symbol for the Pound sterling appears in Tenerence Love's right sunglasses lens, the number 5 in his left lens} ten pounds, {the 5 changes to a 10} twenty pounds, {the 10 changes to a 20; Tenerence Love disappears and two Tenerence Loves appear on either side and drift toward the center} just a little bit overweight, now rhythm brother sweaty town!
{Cut back to the classroom.}
STRONG BAD: And when that gets you slapped and escorted from her building by security, you can always buy a fourteen-pound bad of extra-long—
{Homestar Runner enters from the left wearing a charcoal grey sweatshirt like Strong Bad's with a black star on it.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: {interrupting} Ah, ha ha, ha ha! Oh, Strong Bad. It's funny to me when you try to play grown-up!
STRONG BAD: {raising his fist} What are you talking about, Marianne?
{Cut to a close-up of Homestar}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Everybody knows I'm the only one around here with any real no-arms-on experience with the lady-makes! {cut back to wider view of the classroom} Just listen to this make-out inducing number I threw together this moment! {starts dancing and speaking in rhythm} This moment! This moment! {Strong Bad begins to dance along} This mo- remo- remo- moment!
STRONG BAD: All right, but only 'cause that little song was kind of cool!
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Ahem!
{Fade out. Fade in on Homestar Runner, still wearing his grey sweater and now with brown hair similar to Strong Bad's in front of a grey background. He is on the left; to the right of him a paper comes down saying "MARZiPAN"}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: M is for milk. {"Milk" appears next to the "M" on the paper} The real stuff! {looking annoyed} Not soy. {no longer annoyed} A is for not-organic apples. {"Apples" appears next to the "A" on the paper} Pesticides ahoy! R is for raisins, {"Raisins" appears next to the "R" on the paper} they give me bad gas! Z is too hard, so at this point, I'll pass. {"(Pass)" appears next to the "Z" on the paper} I is for inchiladas! {"inchiladas" appears next to the "i" on the paper} And—
STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Homestar!
{Cut back to the classroom}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Yeah, what's up?
{Cut to a closeup of Strong Bad}
STRONG BAD: That's not a love poem! That is a lavishly produced grocery list!
{Cut to a closeup of Homestar}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: No, {holds up a small piece of lined paper; writing on the other side saying "amazing thing" four times is faintly visible} here's my grocery list! Amazing thing, amazing thing, amazing thing, amazing thing.
{Cut back to the wider view of the classroom}
STRONG BAD: Whoa, where you been shopping?
HOMESTAR RUNNER: SkyMall!
STRONG BAD: Homestar, are you and Marzipan even dating right now?
{Cut to a closeup of Homestar Runner}
HOMESTAR: Are we even dating {chuckles} right now? Are we even d— Are we even da&mdash {Cut back to wider view of the classroom}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: {quieter and lower, with a sad look} No, she broke up with me again this morning.
STRONG BAD: This morning?
Easter Eggs
- Click on "Homeless Romantic" at the beginning to view a book written by Senor Cardgage entitled "The Homeless Romantic".
- Click on the words "Love poems" at the end of the email to see a small clip with Strong Sad.
- {A very eager Strong Sad is jiggling up and down in a chair with a book of poems titled "Poem Tome by Strong Sad" on his lap. A red phone with green marks that resemble Strong Bad's eyes is in the foreground, and the audio of the email can be heard faintly in the distance.}
- STRONG SAD: Why isn't he calling me yet on the Strong Badphone? This email was practically tailor made for me!
Fun Facts
Inside References
- Homestar mentions his lack of visible arms.
- Homestar's poem has each letter of Marzipan's name capital, except for one lowercase i.
External Links
- watch "love poems"
- watch "love poems" on the old Flash site
- view the Flash file for "love poems"
- forum thread re: "love poems"
