Behind The Bad Chapter 3: The Last Straw

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Lead designer and girlfriend have-er

Strong Bad has reached the breaking point with how Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People is going.

Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad, Coach Z, The King of Town, Strong Sad, Videlectrix Guys, Telltale Games employees, Marzipan, Bubs, Trogdor

Places: Telltale Games offices, Club Technochocolate, The Field, Race Track, Planet K, Peasantry, Basement of the Brothers Strong

Date: Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Running Time: 4:53

Transcript

{The following title screen appears}

Telltale Games Presents

{"Strong Bad's Cool Game For Attractive People" logo on a red background flashes on the screen, with a wailing electric guitar heard in the background.}

{cut to Strong Bad standing in front of several computer monitors with the same logo displayed on them}

STRONG BAD: Hey, everybody. My name is Strong Bad from Telltale Games, and I'm the lead designer and girlfriend have-er for {cut to side shot of Strong Bad in black & white} Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People. Now the clip {cut back to forward color shot} you are about to see is just after I upgraded my shark gun to shoot live sharks rather than {black & white} just floppy dead formaldehyde sharks. {color} No, these are real snappin' hungry live sharks. Let's all watch.

{SBCG4AP logo flashes on the screen}

{cut to a scene in The Old Club from Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective. Dangeresque and Renaldo are standing next to Perducci's table.

DANGERESQUE: {walking towards the camera} Bust out your breaking and entering shoes, Renaldo. We've got a paycheck to rescue! {Dangeresque runs into the camera, and then it falls over}

{Cut back to Strong Bad in the studio, looking off to the side}

STRONG BAD: Uh... {chuckles} That was, uh, clearly the wrong clip. {close up; Strong Bad shakes his head} Oh, those developer guys. They probably slipped it in there like a practicals joke. Anyway, {black & white} let's move on to the good stuff. The next bit of game play footage is when {color} my jet pack craps out on me in mid-air and I have to avoid the orchestra {black & white} of squids and land safely {color} on Pom Pom's belly. Let's watch.

{SBCG4AP logo flashes on the screen}

{Cut to a scene from The Field, where he lifts a cardboard box.}

STRONG BAD: Nothing.

{Cut back to Strong Bad in the studio}

STRONG BAD: {annoyed} What the crap!? All right, nevermind. {closeup} I'm moving onto the big guns. This is a clip from the finale. {black & white} I only got two words for you: {color; Strong Bad makes quote marks with his hands} Robot pants.

{SBCG4AP logo flashes on the screen}

{Cut to a scene the Race Track from Homestar Ruiner. Strong Bad tries to grab the Heavy Lourde while on the pogo stick, but he's then pulled down}

STRONG BAD: Oof!

{Cut to the scene in Baddest Of The Bands, when Strong Sad shocks Strong Bad with the taser.}

STRONG BAD: WAAGH!

{Cut to a scene from Strong Badia The Free, when The Poopsmith, dressed as a Poopertrooper, leaps through Strong Bad's window and clobbers him.}

{Cut back to Strong Bad in the studio}

STRONG BAD: RAAA! That's it!

Behind the Bad
The making of Strong Bad's Cool Game For Attractive People

STRONG BAD: Show's over.

{Cut to title card: "Chapter Three: The Last Straw"}

STRONG BAD: Stupid game play footage... See what Videlectrix has to say about this. {Sound of a phone being dialed}

{Cut to a behind shot of Strong Bad sitting at his desk. The phone continues to ring.}

VIDELECTRIX GUY: {a crash is heard; yelling} I'll do it with two fingers!

STRONG BAD: Uh, hello?

VIDELECTRIX GUY: Hello, Vide-electrix.

STRONG BAD: What's the deal? {Strong Bad leaps out of his chair, and we follow him walking among cubicles} I though everything was taken care of.

VIDELECTRIX GUY: Yeah, why don't we fax you over the gameplay we were able to salvage.

STRONG BAD: You're going to fax me some gameplay footage?

VIDELECTRIX GUY: Sure, we do it all the time!

{Strong Bad arrives at a fax machine.}

STRONG BAD: All right, fine, fax it over. Maybe I can use that to show some good gameplay footage.

{Close up of the incoming fax; a roughly drawn picture of Strong Bad on a grid with question marks above his head, titled "Untitled Strong Bad Project"}

STRONG BAD: What is this crap? {Cut back to wider shot}

VIDELECTRIX GUY: Well, I'm sorry Strong Bad, but I can't help ya'.

{Close up of the fax again, this time with Strong Bad's head down standing next to Strong Sad wearing a princess hat and hearts above his head}

STRONG BAD: Remember those discs I sent you? Do you have any idea what I went through to get those?

{Cut back to wider shot}

VIDELECTRIX GUY: Well, there wasn't a whole lot of game play on those discs.

STRONG BAD: What do you mean? I sent you like 25 of those things.

{A crash and a woman's scream are heard over the phone}

VIDELECTRIX GUY: YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTH— {phone goes silent}

{Strong Bad puts the phone away and looks towards the camera}

STRONG BAD: Oh, it looks like I'm gonna have to tear Telltale a new one. Verbally, of course.

{Cut to an exterior shot of the Telltale offices. Camera pans slightly and zooms in on a window.}

STRONG BAD: {muffled, yelling} Cool game! Strong Bad's cool game! Not—

{Cut to a conference room, with many Telltale employees standing or sitting nearby.}

STRONG BAD: "box-look-under" game! Or {employee moves out of the way to reveal Strong Bad standing on the conference table} "green bushes" game! What is that mess!?

{Cut to more direct shot of Strong Bad on the table}

STRONG BAD: {Walking to one developer} You told me you could do a blade! A blade! {walks away} I thought a dialog tree was the name of some cool alien sentient plant thing! {Walks over to another developer} And you! Ugly glasses Telltale! {Close up of Kevin Bruner} You said "point and click" meant pointing a gun {Wider shot} and clicking the trigger! {Walks away} And good thing we didn't decide to name it "Strong Bad's Cool Game Developed By Attractive People". You guys are the ugliest scrubs I've ever seen! {Strong Bad screen incoherently and flails his arms}

STRONG BAD: {shakes his head, calmer} Okay. Calm down. Keep it together. Here's what you do to save this game from certain doom. {Low shot of Strong Bad on the table} Fade in. Interior {Screen behind Strong Bad now reads "Quality Game"} Awesome video game. Day. In a world where reality and videogames have merged in a pixelated cataclysm. Can beefy, robot panted Strong Bad restore freedom to the galaxy, save the princess, and SLAY THE DRAGON?!

STRONG BAD: {calmer again} That's, uh, all I got. I gonna find the sandwich cart guy.

{Strong Bad leaps off the table and walks off. The piece of paper Strong Bad is holding falls to the table, revealing to be the "ultimate" form from SBCG4AP Advertisement. A developer picks it up. Reverse shot of the developer as nods and smiles in approval.}

EMPLOYEE: Oh yeah.

{Cut to montage of scene from 8-Bit Is Enough: Strong Bad looking through the Trog-Sword, Trogdor video game punch Strong Bad, Strong Bad shooting the light musket in the Computer Room}

{After Strong Bad shoots the Musket, crossfades to Strong Bad in silhouette against a blue striped background. The montage continues as the announcer talks over: Strong Bad swinging from the vine at the Race Track, The Poopsmith as Mista Fixit holding up a sign "Let's Build Something", Marzy-Kong and Bubs on the top of Bubs' Concession Stand as she stomps the scaffolding}

ANNOUNCER: In a world where reality and videogames have merged in a pixelated cataclysm.

{Rotating shot of Strong Bad in the Videlectrix Mainframe}

ANNOUNCER: Can beefy, robot panted Strong Bad {words in pixelated font appear on the screen over a blue striped background} restore freedom to the galaxy?

{Cut to a shot of Stinkoman, laughing}

ANNOUNCER: {words appear on the screen again} Save the princess?

{Cut to a closeup of Strong Sad in Peasantry}

STRONG SAD: I'm a wizard, not a princess!

STRONG BAD: Princess!

STRONG SAD: Wizard!

ANNOUNCER: {Words on the screen again} Slay the dragon?

{Cut the Trogdor video game coming alive, then to Trogdor roaring in silhouette against a flame background. Cut back to the Trogdor game in the Basement punching Strong Bad and chasing after Strong Sad.}

{Cut back to the striped background}

ANNOUNCER: Find out in 8-Bit Is Enough.

{Cut to a black screen. Thunder is heard. Title card reads: "See how it ends. Play Strong Bad's Cool Game For Attractive People. All five episodes avaialble for WiiWare and PC." Card changes to "Become cool and attractive. Telltalegames.com"}

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