Baddest of the Bands Responses

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"The power of rock compels you!"

Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People has many responses when you talk to various characters and interact with various objects. These are the responses from Baddest of the Bands.

On these pages, A → B (right arrow) means that the response happens when object A is used on thing B, or in the case of talking to other characters, the indicated sequence of chat topic icons are chosen.

A short horizontal line between two or more responses, such as the one above, means only one of the responses is heard at a time, and that the action results in a different response each time it occurs.


[edit] Locations

[edit] Error and Item Messages

[edit] General Messages

STRONG BAD: Uhhh... no.




STRONG BAD: That won't do anything interesting.

[edit] "3 O'Clock Twist" → Strong Bad

{The cover of the album is shown to the player}
STRONG BAD: {First time only} Ah yes, the Three O'Clock Twist. Strong Sad used to dance to that song over and over again until he'd get dizzy and throw up... and then slip in the throw up and throw up again.

STRONG BAD: The Three O'Clock Twist - musical novelty or social menace?

[edit] Alarm

STRONG BAD: If I use this alarm here, Bubs'll know I've been stealing stuff from his own dang store. Which is why I should use it where I can pin it on someone else.

[edit] Alarm → Strong Bad

STRONG BAD: Uh-oh, looks like I just stole something from Bubs' own dang store! I better frame somebody for this quick!

[edit] Album Cover Photo → Strong Bad

{Photo is displayed to the player}
STRONG BAD: Man, that picture turned out incredible! Like, airbrushed onto the side of a custom van incredible!

[edit] Bat Hutch

STRONG BAD: {Looks inside} Man, those fruity little bats are really packed in there! It's like a giant pulsing wad of brown fur, teeth and ears!

[edit] Bleach

STRONG BAD: Ooh, that's a really, REALLY good idea (really), but laundry bleach like this should only be used in laundry-type situations.

[edit] Bleach → Strong Bad

STRONG BAD: No thanks. My tightey whiteys are already whitey enough, thank you very much.

[edit] Bleach Photo → Strong Bad

{Photo is displayed to the player}
STRONG BAD: Wow. This really makes it look like Limozeen's pouring toxic bleach into the pond... especially if you squint your eyes and don't think about it too much.

[edit] Bleached Bats → Strong Bad

STRONG BAD: {Looks inside} That bleach really cleaned up that hutch! I can't remember the last time I saw bats that white.

[edit] BMW Lighter

STRONG BAD: That's not flammable!

STRONG BAD: Won't burn.

[edit] "DeButt"

{The cover of the album is shown to the player}
STRONG BAD: {First time only} It's the Two-O-Duo's debut album. Oh wait. It's actually called DeBUTT album.

STRONG BAD: Man, this thing has ALL the Two-O-Duo's big hits!

[edit] Defaced Album

Before Strong Bad wins the Rip-Roaring Rock-dezvous with Limozeen contest
{The cover of the album is shown to the player}
STRONG BAD: Man, younger me was a genius! If I can take a photo that looks like this crude drawing, I'm a cinch to win that Limozeen contest!

STRONG BAD: I bet you could sell, like, a kajillion records if you put together an album cover like this.
After Strong Bad wins the Rip-Roaring Rock-dezvous with Limozeen contest
{The cover of the album is shown to the player}
STRONG BAD: I wish I could travel back in time and give my seven-year-old self some candy or a blowtorch for helping me win that contest!

[edit] Defaced Coloring Book

STRONG BAD: My mind-bending Limozeen/Teen Girl Squad crossover turned out great! I should show this to everyone!

[edit] "Doin' The Wigglie" → Strong Bad

{The cover of the album is shown to the player}
MARSHIE: Wiggle, waggle, wiggle, waggle, wiggle, waggle, GO! {Suddenly appears from behind the album on the word "GO!"}

[edit] Entry Forms → Strong Bad

{An entry form is shown to the player. It has several lines to fill in, which read Band Name, Address, Phone, Favorite Color, and Food that grosses you out.}
STRONG BAD: Man, Bubs must have spent like twelve cents on these. I coulda done a better job on my own with Lappy and the Paper!
{The Paper comes down, reading "Got that right"}

[edit] Fake Sword

STRONG BAD: This sword is as dull and weak as Strong Sad himself. It can't cut through anything.

[edit] Fake Sword → Strong Bad

STRONG BAD: I bet Suxcalibur here could do some serious damage in the sweaty back room of a comic book store.

[edit] "Food Related Love" → Strong Bad

{The cover of the album is shown to the player}
STRONG BAD: It's one of Pom Pom's instrumental piano albums. How he still managed to get chicks without squealy vocals or guitars is beyond me.

[edit] German Helmet → Strong Bad

STRONG BAD: This thing's way too small for my fabulously husky head.

[edit] Hangar Antenna → Strong Bad

STRONG BAD: This hanger has been painstakingly bent by Swiss engineers into the ideal configuration for maximizing radio wave reception. Or Strong Mad sat on it.

[edit] "Hugo Left Me Miserable" → Strong Bad

STRONG BAD: Hugo Left Me Misera-bleh? This must be that ode to Victor Hugo that Strong Sad cut in the mall a few years back.

[edit] Instant Camera

{Takes a photo and looks at it}
STRONG BAD: Yeah, I don't think I'll keep this.

STRONG BAD: Hmmm... not bad, but not good either.

STRONG BAD: Man, I gotta stop getting my thumb in front of the lens!

[edit] Instant Camera → Strong Bad

STRONG BAD: Cheese! {Takes a photo of himself and looks at it} Ooh, this one is great!

STRONG BAD: Potsie! {Takes a photo of himself and looks at it} Ooh, that's a keeper!

STRONG BAD: Fondue! {Takes a photo of himself and looks at it} Ooh, even better!

[edit] "Left Shift-Alt-Delete" → Strong Bad

{The cover of the album is shown to the player}
STRONG BAD: Left-Shift-Alt-Delete? Hey, this is the record that came bundled with my Compy 386, and taught everyone why computer nerds shouldn't dance. Ever.

STRONG BAD: Left-Shift-Alt-Delete, the dance craze that launched a million repetitive stress injury lawsuits.

[edit] Letter → Strong Bad

STRONG BAD: A whole day with Limozeen! This is like a dream come true's worst nightmare's daydream! Which means it's good.

[edit] Limozeen Coloring Book → Strong Bad

STRONG BAD: I can't wait to take my new coloring book home, and give Limozeen some new tattoos, and snakes, and groupies, and call them George.

[edit] Limozeen Contest Flyer

STRONG BAD: According to this, all I gotta do to win a day with Limozeen is take a photo of the best album cover ever and drop it in the mail!

STRONG BAD: I only hope that no one has managed to win this contest in the ten or so years since it was announced.

STRONG BAD: Y'know, Limozeen would make great celebrity judges! I gotta win this contest!

[edit] Poodonkis → Strong Bad

STRONG BAD: The mighty Poodonkimus Megamus was much feared among stuffed dinosaurs for his razor-sharp teeth, slashing claws, and piercing googly stare.

[edit] "Roll wit' da Punches" → Strong Bad

{The cover of the album is shown to the player}
STRONG BAD: Roll Wit' Da Punches, by Angry at Moms, left over from Strong Mad's rebellious period. You should have seen when he tried to dread his eyebrows.

STRONG BAD: {Rapping} And then they make you roll with da punches, da punches!

[edit] "Slide to the Right, Y'all Bridesmaids" → Strong Bad

{The cover of the album is shown to the player}
STRONG BAD: "Slide to the Right, Y'all Bridesmaids," the old wedding reception classic. Keeping white people white since 1975.

[edit] Squealin' Larry Limozeen Microphone

{First time only}
STRONG BAD: Check out my Squealin' Larry Limozeen microphone! {Uses microphone} YEEAAAHH! Whoa, I sound awesome! I bet I could make all kinds of cardboard boxes materialize out of thin air with this thing... I'm just saying...

STRONG BAD: Chugga-chugga chow! Squeedle dow!



STRONG BAD: Well all right-uh!

STRONG BAD: Let me hear you come on!

STRONG BAD: Yeeaahhh!

STRONG BAD: {Kneels} Whooaaa!
If something gets found:

STRONG BAD: Intruiging


STRONG BAD: Ta-daaa!

STRONG BAD: The power of rock compels you!

[edit] Taranchula Black Metal Detector

If there's nothing to be found
STRONG BAD: I think this little patch of ground's already horked up its share of treasure today.
If used indoors
STRONG BAD: I better not. The last time I tried to use the Detector indoors, it microwaved off Strong Mad's eyebrows. We couldn't tell how mad he was for weeks!
If Strong Bad is getting closer or further from the object, he will stop walking but not say anything.

[edit] Toilet Paper → Strong Bad

STRONG BAD: Uh-uh. That toilet paper doesn't have NEAR enough plies. My butt is a seven-ply butt.

[edit] Whale Photo → Strong Bad

{Photo is displayed to the player}
STRONG BAD: I'm really proud of the way I captured Limozeen's dead, shark-like eyes as they nonchalantly clobbered that poor baby whale...

[edit] Zen Rock

STRONG BAD: I think the Zen rock would feel more aligned with its {makes air quotes} "shaka kahns" somewhere else.

[edit] Zen Rock → Strong Bad

STRONG BAD: If I throw a rock through someone's window, and no one's there to get a bloody head, did I really break the window? Whoa, this really IS a Zen rock!

[edit] Hints

{Before giving the Fun Machine to Bubs}

STRONG BAD: I better hurry and get the Fun Machine to Bubs before it asplodes any more!

{Before all useful items have been taken}

STRONG BAD: Something tells me I haven't sucked this place dry of useful items. At least, not yet.

STRONG BAD: I wonder if there's any more "community property" in my brothers' rooms I can borrow.

STRONG BAD: Hmm... my inventory's feelin' a little, um, unfulfilled.

STRONG BAD: There's got to be something else around here I can "borrow".

{While in any location with nothing remaining to do}

STRONG BAD: Man, this place is d-e-d dead.

STRONG BAD: My Strongly sense is telling my I may need to look for something elsewhere...

{Before showing Strong Sad the security jacket}

STRONG BAD: Who do I know with a big enough gut to fill out Bubs' extra-large security jacket?

{After showing Strong Sad the Security jacket, but before spray-cheesing the Strong Badia fence}

STRONG BAD: Strong Sad wouldn't know a cool band if it bit him on his pale white hinder.

STRONG BAD: I wonder how I can generate publicity for "Security".

{Before winning the album cover contest}

STRONG BAD: Who should I get to be celebrity judges? Nobody around here, that's for sure.

{After picking up the star from the Eat At Bubs's sign but before putting it on the Cool Car}

STRONG BAD: Like a burning car, like an imploding star... doo-doo-doo doot doot doo-doot do!

{Before taking the Album Photo}

STRONG BAD: I should try to win that Limozeen contest! But how? And where?

{Before giving The Cheat the LARP sword}

STRONG BAD: Lucky for me, Marzipan's not the only blonde in town.

MARZIPAN: No, The Cheat, you can't borrow my hair conditioner!

{After meeting both of Bubs' conditions}

STRONG BAD: I wonder if Bubs'll let me start looking for bands now...

{Before giving Marzipan the bleached bats}

MARZIPAN: I wish Pazquel had more albino friends to play with.

MARZIPAN: Hmm, maybe we should have a backup song in case they find some more albino bats...

{Before bleaching the bats}

STRONG BAD: Those freakin' bats flying around my house sure aren't endangered. Now if only they were ghostly white, maybe I could sign up the Cool Tapes.

STRONG BAD: Pyew! Something around here needs a serious washing! Not me, of course.

STRONG BAD: Those bats may be clean, but are they Marzipan clean?

{Before Homestar's successful audition at the Club}

STRONG BAD: Pom Pom's too busy and too burbly. Maybe Homestar knows what's going on around here.

{Before putting the cheese in the slow cooker at the Club}

STRONG BAD: That empty pot's making me hungry.

{Before reuniting the Two-O-Duo}

STRONG BAD: Bubs is always whining about the cool stuff he and Coach Z used to rhyme about... I wonder if there's a list of those somewhere.

{Before visiting the Track for the first time}

STRONG BAD: I wonder what the Z side of the Two-O Duo story is...

{Before attempting to steal from Bubs}

BUBS: {rapping} Stealin' stuff from my own dang store..

{At the track, while carrying alarm}

STRONG BAD: I wonder if Bubs'll be able to hear his alarm way out here?

{Before giving Coach Z the signed photo of Marzipan}

STRONG BAD: Bringing Coach Z and Marzipan together would be like a train wreck being hit by a plane wreck.

STRONG BAD: I'd love to see the disgusted look on Marzipan's face when Coach Z finally gets up the nerve to talk to her... hmmm.

{Before giving Coach Z the signed photo of Marzipan, while at the Track}

COACH Z: Oh, Marzipan. If only you'd give me a few kind words...

{Before toilet papering The Stick}

STRONG BAD: A guy could get into a lot of mischief with that toilet paper...

{Before picking up the coloring book}

STRONG BAD: I won't be able to write any more adventures of the loveable Teen Girl Squad until I get some more paper!

{At the PomStar stage, before Strong Bad sabotages the Cool Tapes}

STRONG BAD: If I were Marzipan, I would be with my band making sure I didn't sabotage them. And if I were me, I'd be making sure I sabotaged them!

{At the Cool Tapes stage, before Strong Bad sabotages them}

BUBS: Y'know, for a song about wetland pollution, this is pretty hot stuff!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: All right, enough with the stupid whales already!

{At the Two-O-Duo stage, before Strong Bad sabotages them}

BUBS: Watch where you're dancin', man!

BUBS: Careful where ya roll those punches!

BUBS: I swear, if you lay one of those green mittens on me, we're through!

{At the Two-O-Duo stage, before bleaching the pond}

LARRY: Why'd they put us so close to those stinky fish? And how am I able to smell them?

{At the PomStar stage, before framing Limozeen}

LARRY: Whoa, that whale is really starting to get on my long-distance nerves!

LARRY: Man, this reminds me of that show we played in that little dive we played in East Honeysack! What was that place called... "The Billy Club"?

{At the Cool Tapes stage, before framing Limozeen}

LARRY: Man, I hope we don't exploit women with OUR media, or that riot grrl might riot! ...girl.

{After framing Limozeen, but before taking a picture of it}

STRONG BAD: I should really immortalize my day with Cardboard Limozeen with a couple photos.

{Before drawing the Teen Girl Squad comic}

STRONG BAD: Man, it seems like forever since I hacked up the Teen Girl Squad!

{At the Two-O-Duo stage, between adding the bleach to the pond and giving the Teen Girl Squad coloring book to Marzipan}

STRONG BAD: Ah, if only the Teen Girl Squad was here. They'd LOVE all these loose electrical cables, precariously-stacked speakers, and potentially toxic swimming holes.

{While on the DÖI stage, before revealing the prop}

STRONG BAD: The sooner I lower my prop, the sooner I can take everyone's attention off DÖI's complete suckage.

{While on the DÖI stage, while the fan is still running}

STRONG BAD: I'll never get up that ladder while that fan is blowing me away!

{While on the DÖI stage, before giving Homsar the hat}

STRONG BAD: I wish Homsar'd taken my advice and ditched his bowler hat for something more... dangerous.

{While on the DÖI stage, before dropping the speaker}

STRONG BAD: Jeez, those LOBSTERS are rocking harder than the King of Town.

{While the bats are blocking the prop}

STRONG BAD: Stupid pea-soup fog and clam-chowder colored bats!

[edit] Limozeen Game Manual Pages

The game manual pages are always found in the same order, regardless of which order the locations are searched

[edit] Front Cover

STRONG BAD: All right, it's the cover of my Limozeen game manual, in all its hastily-licensed glory!

[edit] Dedication Page

STRONG BAD: It's the dedication page of my Limozeen game manual, where they thank their fans, their mothers, and their fans' mothers.

[edit] Lyrics Page

STRONG BAD: Wow! It's the lyrics sheet to the song that plays over and over again during the Limozeen game! It's a bunch of ones and zeroes...

[edit] Back Cover

STRONG BAD: Sweet holy mother of moley! It's the back cover of the Limozeen game, complete with an autographed photo of the real-life babelien who was the model for the in-game babelien!

[edit] Main Menu

[edit] New Game

STRONG BAD: Are you ready to NEW GAAAAME!?

STRONG BAD: New game! {does a little dance}

HOMESTAR: New game! {does a little dance}

STRONG BAD: Newgame! {laughs}

[edit] Save/Load

STRONG BAD: Save-and-a-load, save-and-a-load.

STRONG BAD: {rubs hands together} Saveload!

HOMESTAR: Saving and loading!

STRONG BAD: {leans back} Savélowad.

[edit] Settings

HOMESTAR: Settings! Settings! Check, check!

STRONG BAD: {scratches chin and looks up} Settings?

HOMESTAR: Settings!

HOMESTAR: {looks around} Wait, is it my turn? {Strong Bad buries his face in his hands}

[edit] Quit It

STRONG BAD: {Sings} Don't quit Strong Bad gaming!

HOMESTAR: Quitters never win!

STRONG BAD: {low voice} Quit it.
HOMESTAR: No, you quit it Strong Bad.
STRONG BAD: {shaking head} Moron.

[edit] Preview

STRONG BAD: Next time on S-B-C-G-4-A-P.

STRONG BAD: {suggestively} Scenes from the next episode!

HOMESTAR: {whisperingly} Sneak a peek from the next episode!

[edit] Map

[edit] Bubs' Concession Stand

STRONG BAD: Ooo, gotta start a fresh map, since the King of Town inhaled my old one. Let's find a place... for Bubs' place!

[edit] Marzipan's House

STRONG BAD: Band practice at Marzipan's is always good for a little heckling... but where should I put her house?

[edit] The Track

STRONG BAD: I'm gonna have to (ugh) talk to Coach Z if I wanna get him and Bubs back together again... where should I put the locker room?

[edit] 100% Completion

{"Item Get!" fanfare plays}

[edit] Start Screen

When the game is left on the start screen, periodically, Strong Bad will come on screen.
STRONG BAD: {walks on screen left} Check me out! {walks off right}

STRONG BAD: {falls from the top of the screen} Awesome! {walks off left}

STRONG BAD: {runs all the way across the screen, very far away from the camera, from left to right} YEAHHH!

STRONG BAD: {walks on from the right, very close to the camera} I'm ready for my close up. {walks left and back, very far away from the camera, then walks off to the left}

STRONG BAD: {drops down from the top of the screen, upside down} Rock and roll, baby! {goes back up}

STRONG BAD: {walks on right, looks at start button} Okay, let's DO this thing! {half singing} Awesome! {walks off right}

STRONG BAD: {walks on from left, looks up at game logo} The power of rock compels you! {walks off right}

STRONG BAD: {pops up from bottom, very close to camera} Why hello, gor-gee-ous! {drops back down}
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