coloring
From Homestar Runner Wiki
| Strong Bad Email #160 |
|
Strong Bad discusses crayon colors and stumbles upon Marzipan's cult, er, "classroom."
Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad, The Cheat, Marzipan, Strong Mad, Homsar, Homestar Runner
Places: Computer Room, The Garage, The Classroom
Computer: Lappy 486
Date: October 22, 2006
Running Time: 3:56
Page Title: Lappy 486
Contents |
Transcript
STRONG BAD: {singing} Sippin' on a bottle of email, cold, having a picnic lunch with some co-workers.
subject: cliffhangersDear awesome,
have you ever thought how rediculous some crayon names are....I mean "blizzard blue"...thats stupid...and "Laser lemon"...???
-much love
Ter
Andover,MN
{After "Dear awesome", Strong Bad inserts, "Oh! Somebody finally got it right!"; at the first ellipsis, he adds, "Oh, you mean like, Red iculous?" and a red crayon that says "Red iculous" appears; and after "Laser lemon", he repeats suprisedly "Laser lemon?!" He picks up a phone and says, "The Cheat, halt production immediately!" Cut to the garage, where The Cheat is working on a laser with lemons on it.}
STRONG BAD: {over the PA} Crayola beat us to the punch! Let's shift focus to Laser Limes! {The Cheat looks annoyed} Or maybe just laser beams!
THE CHEAT: Okay.
{Cut back to the Lappy, where Strong Bad resumes reading the email. He reads "Andover,MN" as "And over, and over, and over, M N."}
STRONG BAD: Ter? What is that, short for Terbert? Or Terlliam? Or Terthew? {clears screen} Welter, the crayons of my youth had pretty awesome names. Especially the ones that came with my Limozeen 1989 "Ladies, We're Staying in Room 302 at the Ramada" tour coloring book! {cut to a view of this coloring book, which has a drawing of two members of Limozeen on the cover.} There was Leather Black {a black crayon saying "Leather Black" appears}, Ripped Denim Blue {a blue crayon saying "Ripped Denim Blue" appears}, Groupie Lipstick Red, {a red crayon saying "Groupie Lipstick Red" appears} Skin Flesh! {A pink crayon saying "Skin Flesh" appears.} Hairspray Blond! {A yellow crayon saying "Hairspray Blond" appears.} And Tight Shiny Purple. {A purple crayon saying "Tight Shiny Purple" appears.} It even came with a cassette tape with a song about how to color! {a yellow cassette tape saying "Colorin' (Outside the Lines)" appears.}
{Change to a view of the first page of the coloring book, which shows Larry and Gary performing. Below this is the text "Gary and Larry rehearse their moves".}
LARRY: {singing} Grab a box of sixty-four, {changes to the next page, which shows Limozeen with the text "We are in a band called Limozeen!"} with a shotgun a built right in, {change to next page, which shows Larry with two women; Larry's face has been coloured like Strong Bad's, and his hands have been drawn to look like red boxing gloves; the test says "Larry Strong Bad always serenades the 'of-age' ladies after the show"} {Larry sings high notes; lyrics incomprehensible} {change to next page, which shows a drummer with a face drawn on his abdomen; the text says, "Drummers almost never wear shirts while playing a big show."} and let the party begin!
{Change to next page, which shows Gary leaping into the air whilst playing the guitar; he has been colored to wear a Los Angeles Lakers uniform and hold a basketball, a basketball hoop and defending player have also been drawn in. The text reads "Gary's playing some "air" guitar. Get it?"}
LIMOZEEN: Colorin'!
LARRY: Outside the lines!
{The next page shows Perry with Teeg Dougland, who is running sound, the text reads "Producer/ manager/ roadie Teeg Dougland shows Perry how to tweak the reverb."}
LIMOZEEN: Colorin'!
LARRY: Inside your heart!
{The next page shows Larry and one other band member, who is wearing a bear mask; the text reads "'That bear mask has GOT to go!!!' shouts Larry."}
LIMOZEEN: Colorin'!
LARRY: With crayons of wine!
{The next page shows Mary and Larry barbecueing; a large, vicious-looking hot dog has been drawn standing behind them; The Cheat has been drawn peeking from around the barbecue. The text reads, "Back home from the road, Mary and Larry say, 'It's Grilla Time!'"}
LIMOZEEN: Colorin'!
LARRY: Hey, hey, with a {incomprehensible} start!
{The last page shows Larry and two other members performing, this page is not colored. The text reads, "Larry is screaming like a demon. And the other two are playing guitars."}
STRONG BAD: Whoa, looks like I missed one! As much as I respect you guys as artists, it's time to melt your faces off. {Strong Bad uses the Skin Flesh crayon to draw on Larry's face; the crayon breaks.} Aww, crudcrap! My Skin Flesh broke! {cut to a view of Strong Bad at his table holding the broken crayon} How'm I gonna get another one of these at this hour? Ooh, wait! I bet Marzipan's teaching her kindergarten class down at the Monte-sodium school! Those kids eat crayons like they were paste!
{Cut to Marzipan in the Classroom; the blackboard reads "SOY IS ALSO MURDER"}
MARZIPAN: So that way, you always feel guilty! {Enter Strong Bad}
STRONG BAD: Hey, goody Marzipan. Can I borrow some crayons? I broke my Skin Flesh!
MARZIPAN: {Looks aghast, then angry.} Shhh! Strong Bad, not in front of the class!"
{Cut to a view of the class, which consists of Homsar, Strong Mad and Homestar Runner wearing yellow shirts. Homsar has a stack of blocks on his desk that reads "TURD".}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Teacher! I hafta go bafroom!
{cut back to Marzipan and Strong Bad}
STRONG BAD: Why can't I say "Skin Flesh" in front of the— uh, children?
MARZIPAN: First of all, we don't call them children. They're "life blossoms"!
STRONG BAD: Life blossoms?! Marzipan, what kind of cult are you running here?
MARZIPAN: Oh, a pretty standard one. {Zoom to a closeup of Marzipan} Anyway, we don't use the term "Skin Flesh". The colour you're looking for is "Dermal discoveries". {A pink roll loosely resembling a crayon with the words "Dermal discoveries" appears}.
{Pan to view of from behind Marzipan of Strong Bad facing Marzipan}
STRONG BAD: What's that scramble?! What about Lipstick Red?
MARZIPAN: No, no, no. Too gender-specific. We use "Crimson suggestion". {A red roll with the words "Crimson suggestion" appears.}
STRONG BAD: Well, how 'bout Hairspray Blond?
MARZIPAN: Vague pigmentations! {A yellow roll with the words "Vague pigmentations" appears.}
STRONG BAD: Leather Black?
MARZIPAN: We just call that "blue". {A black roll with the word "Blue" appears.}
{Homestar Runner moves into view}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Teacherman, {pan to view from behind Strong Bad and Marzipan of Homestar Runner} are we just gonna talk about crowns all day?
STRONG BAD: Ta' 'bou' wha'?
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Crowns! You know! For coloring! A box of crowns!
MARZIPAN: {laughs}
STRONG BAD: {chuckling} You mean, crayons? Cray-ons?
HOMESTAR RUNNER: {looks angry} Oh, I don't need this. I'm going to the liberry! To read me some pie-pie comics!
{Return to view of Marzipan and Strong Bad from the front}
STRONG BAD: What kind of grades does Homestar get?
MARZIPAN: Oh, roots and grass, mostly.
STRONG BAD: Roots and grass? What're those, like, D minusesses?
MARZIPAN: No, they're F's.
{Cut back to the last page of the coloring book.}
STRONG BAD: All right, boys. Prepare to make some Dermal discoveries! {Strong Bad begins to draw with the Dermal discoveries "crayon". Nothing happens.} What the— what's wrong with this stupid crown? -on?
MARZIPAN: Oh, didn't I tell you? Our crayons don't actually color so that no one life blossom shines brighter than any other. That way, they're all special!
STRONG BAD: I never had any doubts that all your students were "special", {uses his hands to suggest scare quotes around the last word} Marzipan.
MARZIPAN: And they're made from 100% pressed bunson, so they double as a healthy snack! Mmm! {Marzipan eats a Crimson suggestion.}
{A bundle of Marzipan's "crayons" appears in front of Strong Bad.}
LARRY: {singing, his words appear under the bundle of "crayons".} Pressed bunson, you know it's pressed bunson. Preeeeow!
{The Paper comes down as Larry sings the last word.}
STRONG BAD: What the crap is pressed bunson?
Easter Eggs
- Click on "Dear awesome" after Strong Bad mentions "Red Iculous" to see a "Dear awesome" color crayon.
- Likewise, click on "some crayon" and see a "Some Crayon" colored crayon.
- Click on Homestar's shirt when he walks up to Marzipan to see the logo for L.U.R.N., or "Life Blossums Undergoing Re-programming Naturally."
- Click on the word Murder on the chalkboard after Strong Bad asks about Homestar's grades to see his report card.
- At the end, click on the coloring book to see the whole thing (comes up in a new window). It has several pages not featured in the email. You can color it with the included crayons, or print it out.
Fun Facts
Trivia
- When this email was first posted on October 22, 2006, the main page indicated that the site was last updated on October 23, 2006.
- The crayons in the Easter egg contain two colours not featured in the email: "Roadie Puke Green" and "Sweet Boots Brown".
Remarks
- The Lappy's "toe" seems to be back, as it isn't missing throughout the email.
- The letter blocks on Homsar's desk spell "TURD", another instance of swearing.
- The cards above the chalkboard read "4, I3, (, I>, 3, I=, 6, #, 1" which are Leetspeak representations of the letters A through I.
- The Chalkboard says "SOY IS MURDER" which is odd, given that she has been previously established as a vegetarian. This may be explained by Strong Bad's message in Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 9.2 where he tells Marzipan that tofu (a soy product) is really made of baby seals.
- Homestar leaving to go read "pie pie comics" may mean he left to go read some Popeye comics.
- This is the first/closest The Cheat has gotten to saying a word in English outside of his Powered by The Cheat cartoons.
- Strong Bad's line "How'm I gonna get another one of these at this hour?" is most likely referring to the unusual posting time of this email - while most are posted in the day on Mondays, this was posted on late Sunday/early Monday.
Inside References
- When Strong Bad is coloring the Limozeen picture, the music is the same as the music that plays while he is drawing Trogdor in dragon.
- When Homestar calls Marzipan "Teacherman", that might be a reference to him referring to the "nice present" from Decemberween in July as a Santaman.
Real-World References
- Crayola is a well known company than makes art supplies such as crayons.
- "Laser Lemon" is the name of an actual Crayola color. "Blizzard Blue" also existed at one point, but has since been replaced with "Inchworm".
- The band member wearing a bear mask is a reference to musician John Mayer who sometimes dresses in a bear costume in order to meet and talk with fans before concerts without the fans realizing who he is.
- "Monte-sodium" is a reference to Montessori Schools, a very progressive and non-traditional schooling system used in many private schools throughout the world. It focuses on allowing children to learn at their own pace and doing away with percieved forms of competition like grading. There is much debate as to its effectiveness.
External Links
- watch "coloring"
- watch "coloring" on the old Flash site
- view the Flash file for "coloring"
- forum thread re: "coloring"
