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Subtitles logo These are the English subtitles for coloring. watch this toon
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<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?>
<transcript xml:lang="en-us" file="sbemail160.swf" width="550" height="400">
  <line start="15" end="96" speaker="strongbad"><em>(singing)</em> Sippin' on a bottle of email, cold, having a picnic lunch with some co-workers.</line>
  <line start="96" end="141" speaker="strongbad">"Dear awesome," Oh! Somebody finally got it right!</line>
  <line start="141" end="213" speaker="strongbad">"Have you ever thought how rediculous some crayon names are?" Oh, you mean like, <i>Red</i> Iculous?</line>
  <line start="213" end="242" speaker="strongbad">"I mean 'blizzard blue'...thats stupid. And 'Laser lemon'?"</line>
  <line start="242" end="260" speaker="strongbad" volume="1.3">Laser lemon?!</line>
  <line start="261" end="294" speaker="strongbad">The Cheat, halt production immediately!</line>
  <line start="294" end="377" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Crayola beat us to the punch. Let's shift focus to... "Laser Limes". Or maybe just laser beams.</line>
  <line start="377" end="390" speaker="thecheat">The Cheat noise which sounds unmistakably like "Okay."</line>
  <line start="390" end="440" speaker="strongbad">"Much love, Ter. And over, and over, and over, M N."</line>
  <line start="440" end="527" speaker="strongbad">Ter? What is that, short for Terbert? Or Terlliam? Or Terthew?</line>
  <line start="527" end="569" speaker="strongbad">Welter, the crayons of my youth had pretty awesome names.</line>
  <line start="569" end="651" speaker="strongbad">Especially the ones that came with my Limozeen 1989 "Ladies, We're Staying in Room 302 at the Ramada" Tour coloring book!</line>
  <line start="652" end="670" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">There was Leather Black,</line>
  <line start="670" end="682" speaker="sfx">drum solo begins</line>
  <line start="682" end="714" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Ripped Denim Blue,</line>
  <line start="714" end="754" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Groupie Lipstick Red,</line>
  <line start="754" end="792" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Skin Flesh!</line>
  <line start="792" end="831" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Hairspray Blond!</line>
  <line start="831" end="872" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">And Tight Shiny Purple.</line>
  <line start="873" end="921" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">It even came with a cassette tape with a song about how to color!</line>
  <line start="921" end="1003" speaker="larry" voiceover="voiceover">
    <em>(singing)</em> Grab a box of sixty-four, with a sharpener built right in,—
  <line start="1003" end="1080" speaker="larry" voiceover="voiceover">Dump 'em all out onto the floor, and let the party begin!</line>
  <line start="1080" end="1099" speaker="limozeen" voiceover="voiceover">Colorin'!</line>
  <line start="1099" end="1120" speaker="larry" voiceover="voiceover">Outside the lines!</line>
  <line start="1120" end="1139" speaker="limozeen" voiceover="voiceover">Colorin'!</line>
  <line start="1139" end="1162" speaker="larry" voiceover="voiceover">Inside your heart!</line>
  <line start="1162" end="1178" speaker="limozeen" voiceover="voiceover">Colorin'!</line>
  <line start="1178" end="1203" speaker="larry" voiceover="voiceover">Those crayons of mine!</line>
  <line start="1203" end="1215" speaker="limozeen" voiceover="voiceover">Colorin'!</line>
  <line start="1215" end="1255" speaker="larry" voiceover="voiceover">Hey, hey, let's go back to the start!</line>
  <line start="1255" end="1278" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Whoa, looks like I missed one!</line>
  <line start="1278" end="1333" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">As much as I respect you guys as artists, it's time to melt your faces off.</line>
  <line start="1351" end="1386" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Aww, crudcrap! My Skin Flesh broke!</line>
  <line start="1386" end="1416" speaker="strongbad">Where'm I gonna get another one of these at this hour?</line>
  <line start="1416" end="1486" speaker="strongbad">Ooh, wait! I bet Marzipan's teaching her kindergarten class down at the Montesodium school!</line>
  <line start="1486" end="1521" speaker="strongbad">Those kids eat crayons like they were paste!</line>
  <line start="1521" end="1547" speaker="marzipan">...So that way, you always feel guilty!</line>
  <line start="1547" end="1599" speaker="strongbad">Hey, Goody Marzipan. Can I borrow some crayons? I broke my Skin Flesh!</line>
  <line start="1599" end="1634" speaker="marzipan">Shhh! Strong Bad, not in front of the class!</line>
  <line start="1638" end="1674" speaker="homestar">Teach-orr! I have go bafroom!</line>
  <line start="1674" end="1726" speaker="strongbad">Why can't I say "Skin Flesh" in front of the—uh, children?</line>
  <line start="1726" end="1776" speaker="marzipan">First of all, we don't call them children. They're "life blossoms"!</line>
  <line start="1776" end="1824" speaker="strongbad">Life blossoms?! Marzipan, what kind of cult are you running here?</line>
  <line start="1824" end="1845" speaker="marzipan">Oh, a pretty standard one.</line>
  <line start="1845" end="1877" speaker="marzipan">Anyway, we don't use the term "Skin Flesh".</line>
  <line start="1877" end="1924" speaker="marzipan">The color you're looking for is "Dermal Discoveries".</line>
  <line start="1924" end="1959" speaker="strongbad">What's that scramble?! What about Lipstick Red?</line>
  <line start="1959" end="1985" speaker="marzipan">No, no, no. Too gender-specific.</line>
  <line start="1985" end="2005" speaker="marzipan">We use "Crimson Suggestion".</line>
  <line start="2005" end="2031" speaker="strongbad">Well, how 'bout Hairspray Blond?</line>
  <line start="2031" end="2053" speaker="marzipan">Vague Pigmentation!</line>
  <line start="2053" end="2066" speaker="strongbad">Leather Black?</line>
  <line start="2066" end="2087" speaker="marzipan">We just call that "blue."</line>
  <line start="2087" end="2127" speaker="homestar">Teacherman, are we just gonna talk about crowns all day?</line>
  <line start="2127" end="2142" speaker="strongbad">Ta'-'bou'-wha'?</line>
  <line start="2142" end="2194" speaker="homestar">Crowns! You know! For coloring! A box of crowns!</line>
  <line start="2194" end="2241"><marzipan sfx="sfx">laughs</marzipan><strongbad>You mean, crayons? Cray-ons?</strongbad></line>
  <line start="2241" end="2301" speaker="homestar">Oh, I don't need this. I'm going to the liberry! To read me some pie-pie comics!</line>
  <line start="2301" end="2329" speaker="strongbad">What kind of grades does Homestar get?</line>
  <line start="2329" end="2350" speaker="marzipan">Oh, roots and grass, mostly.</line>
  <line start="2350" end="2401" speaker="strongbad">Roots and grass? What're those, like, D's? D minusesses?</line>
  <line start="2401" end="2420" speaker="marzipan">No, they're F's.</line>
  <line start="2421" end="2471" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">All right, boys. Prepare to make some dermal discoveries!</line>
  <line start="2471" end="2513" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">What the— what's wrong with this stupid crown—on?</line>
  <line start="2513" end="2587" speaker="marzipan">Oh, didn't I tell you? Our crayons don't actually color so that no one life blossom shines brighter than any other.</line>
  <line start="2587" end="2607" speaker="marzipan">
    That way, they're <em>all</em> special!
  <line start="2607" end="2668" speaker="strongbad">I never had any doubts that all your students were "special," Marzipan.</line>
  <line start="2668" end="2733" speaker="marzipan">And they're made from 100% pressed bunson, so they double as a healthy snack! Mmm!</line>
  <line start="2747" end="2779">
    <larry voiceover="voiceover"><em>(singing)</em> Pressed bunson, you know it's pressed bunson.</larry>
  <line start="2779" end="2810">
    <larry voiceover="voiceover">Preeeeow!</larry>
  <line start="2819" end="2845" speaker="strongbad">...the crap is pressed bunson?</line>
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