User:The Chort

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{{User:The Chort/toolbox}}
{{User:The Chort/toolbox}}
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<blockquote>''What do I think of the English, huh? Oh, I'll '''tell''' you what I think of the English!''
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''This Homestar Runner Wiki user has an extremely busy real life and has therefore gone into semi-retirement for the moment. Hopefully I'll be back in the Summertimes...''
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:&mdash; [[Strong Bad]], [[sb_email 22]]</blockquote>
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''Keep it real,''<br>
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{{User:The Chort/sig}}
==Introduction==
==Introduction==
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Hey, there! I'm <span style="color: orange;">'''''The Chort'''''</span>! No, I don't look anything like [[The Cheat]], nor can I speak [[Coach Z]]. I'm just another [[Homestar Runner (body of work)|Homestar Runner]] fan. I was bitten by the H*R bug on Saturday, 30 April, 2005, <small>(I think)</small> when I was rather bored. I had already discovered [[TROGDOR!]] and [[Peasant's Quest]] but couldn't be bothered to explore the rest of the site. So I decided to use a certain obscenely popular search engine to do a quick search for more information about this [[Trogdor]] guy. <small>(And for the "Secret Code" for TROGDOR!.)</small> It was a search that would change my life forever. A few clicks later, <font color=red>'''BAM!'''</font color=red> I was watching [[dragon|SBEmail #58, dragon!]] My first thoughts of the site were something along the lines of <font color=red>'''"What the crap is going on here?!"'''</font color=red> So I searched the [[FAQ]] to find out what the point of the site was. Instead, I learnt that there was this secret game that was apparently impossible to beat. Yep, it was [[Super Kingio Bros]]. Interested, I did another search using the same obscenely popular serach engine and <font color=red>'''KAPOW!'''</font color=red> I was addicted to the [[Main Page|HRWiki!]] Three months later, I had watched <font color=red>'''EVERY'''</font color=red> toon on the site at least once and on Monday, 25 July, 2005 at nearly 7PM, I finally decided to sign up with a unique and imaginative Username. As you can see, I didn't succeed.
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Hello, there! I'm <span style="color: orange;">'''''The Chort'''''</span>! No, I do not look anything like [[The Cheat]], nor do I make a habit of talking like [[Coach Z]]. I'm just another [[Homestar Runner (body of work)|Homestar Runner]] fan, just like you! I was bitten by the H*R bug on Saturday, 30 April, 2005 when I was at a loose end. I had already discovered [[TROGDOR!]] and [[Peasant's Quest]] but for some reason had never bothered to explore the rest of the site. After getting yet another Game Over on TROGDOR!, I decided to conduct a quick search on the Internet for two things. Firstly, I wanted to find some more information about this awesome [[Trogdor]] guy. Secondly, I wanted the secret code hinted at on the secret screen of TROGDOR!. It was a search that would change my life forever. A few clicks later, I was watching [[dragon|SBEmail #58, dragon]]. My first thoughts of the site were something along the lines of "''Okaaay... why is there an [[Strong Bad Email|email show]] presented by some [[Strong Bad|mexican westling guy]] on the Internet?''" So I had a look at the [[FAQ]] to find out what the history and background to the site was, for I was confused and felt lost. There, I learnt that there was this secret game hidden somewhere on the site that was apparently impossible to beat. That's right, it was [[Super Kingio Bros]]. Interested, I did another quick search and ended up instantly addicted to the [[Main Page|HRWiki]]. That night, I lay in my bed, completely unable to sleep, for I knew that I had discovered something truly special that day. Three months later and having watched every toon on the site at least once, on Monday, 25 July, 2005 at nearly 7PM, I finally decided to become a regular editor of this wiki by signing up with a unique and imaginative Username.
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As you can see, I didn't succeed.
==About Me==
==About Me==
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All you need to know is that I'm male, a teenager and live in England, (which makes '''[[sb_email 22|this]]''' certain SBEmail very relevant to me). You'll probably find me either hanging round [[Special:Recentchanges|Recent Changes]], checking out all the edits, or proofchecking articles for bad grammar, poor spelling, inaccuracy, informality and malfunctioning code. In addition, whenever anything new is released on the website, I'll eventually get round to comparing the transcript with the actual toon so I can add all the little details that may be missing. I also discuss articles for deletion and go through the new/unused images, marking any duplicates or those in the wrong format to be deleted. And if there's ever a problem on the Wiki, I'm willing to contribute to the discussion and suggest possible solutions. But I usually end up messing about in the [[HRWiki:Sandbox|sandbox]]. And... that's it. The end.
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All you need to know is that I'm young male student who lives in England, (which makes '''[[sb_email 22|this]]''' certain SBEmail very relevant to me). I'm at Uni now, and am supposed to be busy working all the time, not editing some fan wiki about an Internet cartoon featuring dumb animal characters! You'll probably see me drop by every now and then, either checking out all the edits in [[Special:Recentchanges|Recent Changes]] or maybe proofreading articles for bad grammar, poor spelling, inaccuracy, informality, malfunctioning code and utter nonsense. In addition, whenever anything new is released on the website, I sometimes go through the entire transcript and compare it with the actual toon step by step, so I can add any little details that might be missing. I also discuss articles for deletion and go through the new/unused images, marking any duplicates or those in the wrong format to be deleted. I used to be addicted to cleaning up image summaries (thanks, [[User:DeFender1031|DeFender1031]]!) but simply don't have the time anymore. And if there's ever a problem on the Wiki, I'm willing to contribute to the discussion and suggest possible solutions or compromises. But I usually end up posting crap in the [[HRWiki:Sandbox|sandbox]]. In closing, if you'd like to see what I've recently got up to on the wiki, [[Special:Contributions/The Chort|click here]] and maybe you'll see something other than the the words "[[HRWiki:Image summary cleanup|Image Summary Cleanup]]" repeated endlessly.
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==Personal Favourites==
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==Stuff I Probably Did==
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{{User:The Chort/userbox}}
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*Created [[Happy Dethemberween Visuals]].
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*Created [[Poor Acting]].
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*Created [[Websites]].
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*Suggested and helped create [[Minor Video Games]]. I added the table!
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*Cleaned up the incomplete, unorganised mess that was [[Crimes Committed by Strong Bad]] and helped turn it into what eventually became a featured article. This is probably my proudest achievement on this wiki. :D
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*Cleaned up the image summaries of [[HRWiki:Image summary cleanup/0-C|ALL these images]]. That's right. I went through every single one of those files linked to on that article. Only D-z to go.
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*Added many of the entries, suffixes, "gutterences" and the "See Also Loop" to [[Count Longardeaux's Jerktionary]]. Beforehand, the article was just four sentences long.
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*Added many of the reviews to [[Review Revue]]. Beforehand, the article was just three sentences long.
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*Found the third necessary appearance of [[Strong Sad's Pills]] (it was from [[No Hands On Deck!]]) which resulted in said article's creation.
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*Created two Userboxes (the ones with the half-dead/alive goat from [[technology]])
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==Personal Favourites==
{| border=1 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=0 style="border-collapse:collapse"
{| border=1 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=0 style="border-collapse:collapse"
|- bgcolor=#eeeeee
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|[[Image:sbemail110.png|75px]] || [[Strong Bad Email]] || [[for kids]] || The [[Peasant's Quest]] opening. Strong Bad's and Homsar's kids' shows. Strong Bad losing it.
|[[Image:sbemail110.png|75px]] || [[Strong Bad Email]] || [[for kids]] || The [[Peasant's Quest]] opening. Strong Bad's and Homsar's kids' shows. Strong Bad losing it.
|-
|-
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|[[Image:thnikkafied-machine.png|75px]] || [[Marzipan's Answering Machine]] || [[Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 12.2|Version 12.2]] || The Thnikkaman. Strong Bad's song. Marzipan's not a natural blonde, apparently.
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|[[Image:thnikkafied-machine.png|75px]] || [[Marzipan's Answering Machine]] || [[Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 12.2|Version 12.2]] || The Thnikkaman. Strong Bad's song. Wait, Marzipan's not a natural blonde?!
|-
|-
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|[[Image:ilsg.PNG|75px]] || [[Teen Girl Squad]] || [[Teen Girl Squad Issue 9|Issue 9]] || The song. BBF. Science Fiction Greg and D N'D Greg debut. Everyone dies.
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|[[Image:Drivers Eded.png|75px]] || [[Teen Girl Squad]] || [[Teen Girl Squad Issue 9|Issue 9]] || The song. BBF. Science Fiction Greg and D N'D Greg debut. Everyone dies.
|-
|-
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|[[Image:poweredbubs.png|75px]] || [[Powered By The Cheat]] || [[mile]] || The Cheat answers an email. PBTC Bubs.
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|[[Image:poweredbubs.png|75px]] || [[Powered By The Cheat]] || [[mile]] || The Cheat answers an email. PBTC Bubs debut.
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|-
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|[[Image:Little Girl.jpg|75px]] || [[Puppet Stuff]] || [[Homestar vs. Little Girl]] || So cute.
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|[[Image:Szechuan Steve.PNG|75px]] || [[Puppet Stuff]] || [[Dangeresque: Puppet Squad]] || How can you make Dangeresque even more ridiculous than before? Why, by featuring puppets and rubbish special effects, of course!
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|-
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|[[Image:dweenkidsbook.PNG|75px]] || [[Holiday Toons|Holiday Toon(s)]] || [[That Time of Year]] || Everything. Originally had to close browser due to uncontrollable laughter.
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|[[File:Fan Costumes '07 SB HR.png|75px]] || [[Halloween]] || [[Fan Costume Commentary|Any]] [[More Fan Costumes|of]] [[Fan Costumes '06|the]] [[Fan Costumes '07|Fan]] [[Fan Costumes '08|Costumes]] || Still can't believe so many fans are willing to dress up in cheap, homemade costumes of characters from an obscure website. Strong Bad's wit is on point.
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|-
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|[[Image:AnImportantRapSong.PNG|75px]] ||  [[Cheat Commandos|Cheat Commando Cartoon]] || [[An Important Rap Song]] || Hilariously awful rapping at its best.
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|[[Image:dweenkidsbook.PNG|75px]] || [[Decemberween]] || [[That Time of Year]] || Everything. Originally had to close browser due to uncontrollable laughter.
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|-
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|[[Image:AnImportantRapSong.PNG|75px]] ||  [[Cheat Commandos|Cheat Commando Cartoon]] || [[An Important Rap Song]] || Crack Stuntman's first real debut. Hilarious rapping ensues.
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|[[Image:Weather.PNG|75px]] || [[Main Pages|Main Page]] || [[Main Page 11]] || Strong Bad's weather forecast. Can be the most glitched up Main Page.
|[[Image:Weather.PNG|75px]] || [[Main Pages|Main Page]] || [[Main Page 11]] || Strong Bad's weather forecast. Can be the most glitched up Main Page.
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|[[Image:Strumstar Hammer pg17.jpg|75px]] || [[Strumstar Hammer|Easter Egg]] || [[kids' book]], [[HR:sb_book/sb_book1.html|"book"]] || Everything. Final page never fails to raise a laugh.
|[[Image:Strumstar Hammer pg17.jpg|75px]] || [[Strumstar Hammer|Easter Egg]] || [[kids' book]], [[HR:sb_book/sb_book1.html|"book"]] || Everything. Final page never fails to raise a laugh.
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|-
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|[[Image:homsar evolution current.png|50px]] || User Sub Page || [[User:Has Matt?/Homsar quotes]] || ''(Various randomness)''
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|[[Image:Nophoto.PNG|75px]] || Epic Project || [[HRWiki:Image summary cleanup]] || This is the Super Secret Epic Project that I'm currently working which will soon be finished in a few months/years/after my death. But you can help too!
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|-
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|[[Image:homestarmy.png|75px]] || HRWiki article || [[The Battle of Strong Badia]] || Brilliant. Just brilliant.
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|[[Image:Wanted.PNG|75px]] || HRWiki article || [[Crimes Committed by Strong Bad]] || Truly, one of the best articles I have ever seen on this wiki.
|}
|}
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{{User:The Chort/userbox}}
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==The Wit of Strong Bad==
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<blockquote>
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"Too much of a good thing is an awesome thing. But too much of an awesome thing is... umm... really, really dumb and bad." &mdash; [[cartoon]]
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</blockquote>
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<blockquote>
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"...A One that is not cold is scarcely a One at all." &mdash; [[property of ones]]
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</blockquote>
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<blockquote>
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"The Internet is a place where absolutely nothing happens. You need to take advantage of that. I mean, you can make a webpage of your cat... or your The Cheat. And who knows? Maybe tomorrow you'll be really big in Pakistan. Or at least, with some guy named Stan." &mdash; [[website]]
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</blockquote>
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<blockquote>
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"GOOD... GRAVY. I've got two words for the children that are raised on that crap: HELD BACK. REPEATING THE THIRD GRADE. LOW STANDARDIZED TEST SCORES. I GUESS THIS WAS MORE THAN TWO WORDS. THE PAPER, PLEASE TAKE US HOME." &mdash; [[for kids]]
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</blockquote>
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<blockquote>
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"So, why wear pants? An age old question. Was it not Adam West who once said..." &mdash; [[long pants]]
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</blockquote>
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<blockquote>
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"...When people send me stupid emails, I'm obligated by law to do what they say. So, extra special cool coming right up!" &mdash; [[lady fan]]
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</blockquote>
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<blockquote>
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"Next up, we got The Cheat's trading card game, which is really more like a trading card activity or trading card goings-on, because the word "game" implies fun and enjoyment. And you won't find none of ''that'' here. &mdash; [[trading cards]]
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</blockquote>
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<blockquote>
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"Hordes of locusts and famine got nothing on the sight of Strong Sad dancing interpretively. So, in order to spare the world, I guess I can just never die." &mdash; [[your funeral]]
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</blockquote>
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<blockquote>
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"Web comics are easy, Gunky. They're all about video games, gamernerds, webgeeks, dorknerds, gamewads, nerdgames, webwebs, and elves. So just pick one of those and start tableting! Like the one where the slickly drawn college roommates make nothing but video game inside jokes! ... Or if you can't draw, never fear, just steal some graphics from your favorite video game. And add yet another unlicensed pixel comic to the overcrowded, overstunk landfill of web comics. ... So to answer your question, Gunky, DON'T MAKE A WEB COMIC! Why can't you just make a... comic. Everyone knows that putting 'web' in front of words automatically makes them crappier. Just look what happened to 'pages,' and 'cams,' and 'logs.' And who could forget the fall of the mighty 'isode.' Ohh, so tragic. &mdash; [[web comics]]
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</blockquote>
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<blockquote>
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"You internet types ruined Trogdor! Just like you did zombies, pirates, ninjas and Strong Bad!" &mdash; [[Trogday 08]]
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</blockquote>
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<blockquote>
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"Ah, fan clubs. Sweet, innocent, restraining order-inducing fan clubs. Don't get me wrong, fans are great. It's the addition of 'club' that totally roons it. Which is the opposite of how it usually works. For instance: turkey = mrenh, turkey club = mmmMMRENHhhhh!" &mdash; [[fan club]]
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</blockquote>

Current revision as of 22:35, 28 August 2011

Useful links
"Secret identities aren't just for superheroes and Garth Brooks anymore."

This Homestar Runner Wiki user has an extremely busy real life and has therefore gone into semi-retirement for the moment. Hopefully I'll be back in the Summertimes...

Keep it real,
– The Chort

Contents

[edit] Introduction

Hello, there! I'm The Chort! No, I do not look anything like The Cheat, nor do I make a habit of talking like Coach Z. I'm just another Homestar Runner fan, just like you! I was bitten by the H*R bug on Saturday, 30 April, 2005 when I was at a loose end. I had already discovered TROGDOR! and Peasant's Quest but for some reason had never bothered to explore the rest of the site. After getting yet another Game Over on TROGDOR!, I decided to conduct a quick search on the Internet for two things. Firstly, I wanted to find some more information about this awesome Trogdor guy. Secondly, I wanted the secret code hinted at on the secret screen of TROGDOR!. It was a search that would change my life forever. A few clicks later, I was watching SBEmail #58, dragon. My first thoughts of the site were something along the lines of "Okaaay... why is there an email show presented by some mexican westling guy on the Internet?" So I had a look at the FAQ to find out what the history and background to the site was, for I was confused and felt lost. There, I learnt that there was this secret game hidden somewhere on the site that was apparently impossible to beat. That's right, it was Super Kingio Bros. Interested, I did another quick search and ended up instantly addicted to the HRWiki. That night, I lay in my bed, completely unable to sleep, for I knew that I had discovered something truly special that day. Three months later and having watched every toon on the site at least once, on Monday, 25 July, 2005 at nearly 7PM, I finally decided to become a regular editor of this wiki by signing up with a unique and imaginative Username.

As you can see, I didn't succeed.

[edit] About Me

All you need to know is that I'm young male student who lives in England, (which makes this certain SBEmail very relevant to me). I'm at Uni now, and am supposed to be busy working all the time, not editing some fan wiki about an Internet cartoon featuring dumb animal characters! You'll probably see me drop by every now and then, either checking out all the edits in Recent Changes or maybe proofreading articles for bad grammar, poor spelling, inaccuracy, informality, malfunctioning code and utter nonsense. In addition, whenever anything new is released on the website, I sometimes go through the entire transcript and compare it with the actual toon step by step, so I can add any little details that might be missing. I also discuss articles for deletion and go through the new/unused images, marking any duplicates or those in the wrong format to be deleted. I used to be addicted to cleaning up image summaries (thanks, DeFender1031!) but simply don't have the time anymore. And if there's ever a problem on the Wiki, I'm willing to contribute to the discussion and suggest possible solutions or compromises. But I usually end up posting crap in the sandbox. In closing, if you'd like to see what I've recently got up to on the wiki, click here and maybe you'll see something other than the the words "Image Summary Cleanup" repeated endlessly.

[edit] Stuff I Probably Did

[edit] Personal Favourites

Screenshot Category Title Why?
Strong Bad Email for kids The Peasant's Quest opening. Strong Bad's and Homsar's kids' shows. Strong Bad losing it.
Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 12.2 The Thnikkaman. Strong Bad's song. Wait, Marzipan's not a natural blonde?!
Teen Girl Squad Issue 9 The song. BBF. Science Fiction Greg and D N'D Greg debut. Everyone dies.
Powered By The Cheat mile The Cheat answers an email. PBTC Bubs debut.
Puppet Stuff Dangeresque: Puppet Squad How can you make Dangeresque even more ridiculous than before? Why, by featuring puppets and rubbish special effects, of course!
Halloween Any of the Fan Costumes Still can't believe so many fans are willing to dress up in cheap, homemade costumes of characters from an obscure website. Strong Bad's wit is on point.
Decemberween That Time of Year Everything. Originally had to close browser due to uncontrollable laughter.
Cheat Commando Cartoon An Important Rap Song Crack Stuntman's first real debut. Hilarious rapping ensues.
Main Page Main Page 11 Strong Bad's weather forecast. Can be the most glitched up Main Page.
"Game" Super Kingio Brothers The music. The good graphics. The stunning level design. The groundbreaking gameplay. The fact that the KOT's life is a joke.
Easter Egg kids' book, "book" Everything. Final page never fails to raise a laugh.
Epic Project HRWiki:Image summary cleanup This is the Super Secret Epic Project that I'm currently working which will soon be finished in a few months/years/after my death. But you can help too!
HRWiki article Crimes Committed by Strong Bad Truly, one of the best articles I have ever seen on this wiki.


HRWiki:Userboxes
This user misses The Paper. :'-(
This user is British.
This user was recently converted to Mozilla Firefox 'cause it's fab!
RC This user likes to drop by Recent Changes every now and then.
RV This user reverts vandalism and bad edits.
This user enjoys tasering that gnome gnome work.
This user's favourite character is Crack Stuntman. Yes.
THIS USER JUST HATES THAT FWEAKIN' MARSHMALLOW SO MUCH!
This user does NOT miss Original Principal Skinner Bubs.
This user sees the goat as half-dead.
This user thinks The Chort is not a good Username. He's still going to keep it, though.
Get outta here, Nebulon! This user doesn't like your style!
Oh, this user will TELL you what he thinks of Strong Bad!
Hey! Quit bitin' this user's style!

[edit] The Wit of Strong Bad

"Too much of a good thing is an awesome thing. But too much of an awesome thing is... umm... really, really dumb and bad." — cartoon
"...A One that is not cold is scarcely a One at all." — property of ones
"The Internet is a place where absolutely nothing happens. You need to take advantage of that. I mean, you can make a webpage of your cat... or your The Cheat. And who knows? Maybe tomorrow you'll be really big in Pakistan. Or at least, with some guy named Stan." — website
"GOOD... GRAVY. I've got two words for the children that are raised on that crap: HELD BACK. REPEATING THE THIRD GRADE. LOW STANDARDIZED TEST SCORES. I GUESS THIS WAS MORE THAN TWO WORDS. THE PAPER, PLEASE TAKE US HOME." — for kids
"So, why wear pants? An age old question. Was it not Adam West who once said..." — long pants
"...When people send me stupid emails, I'm obligated by law to do what they say. So, extra special cool coming right up!" — lady fan
"Next up, we got The Cheat's trading card game, which is really more like a trading card activity or trading card goings-on, because the word "game" implies fun and enjoyment. And you won't find none of that here. — trading cards
"Hordes of locusts and famine got nothing on the sight of Strong Sad dancing interpretively. So, in order to spare the world, I guess I can just never die." — your funeral
"Web comics are easy, Gunky. They're all about video games, gamernerds, webgeeks, dorknerds, gamewads, nerdgames, webwebs, and elves. So just pick one of those and start tableting! Like the one where the slickly drawn college roommates make nothing but video game inside jokes! ... Or if you can't draw, never fear, just steal some graphics from your favorite video game. And add yet another unlicensed pixel comic to the overcrowded, overstunk landfill of web comics. ... So to answer your question, Gunky, DON'T MAKE A WEB COMIC! Why can't you just make a... comic. Everyone knows that putting 'web' in front of words automatically makes them crappier. Just look what happened to 'pages,' and 'cams,' and 'logs.' And who could forget the fall of the mighty 'isode.' Ohh, so tragic. — web comics
"You internet types ruined Trogdor! Just like you did zombies, pirates, ninjas and Strong Bad!" — Trogday 08
"Ah, fan clubs. Sweet, innocent, restraining order-inducing fan clubs. Don't get me wrong, fans are great. It's the addition of 'club' that totally roons it. Which is the opposite of how it usually works. For instance: turkey = mrenh, turkey club = mmmMMRENHhhhh!" — fan club
Retrieved from "http://www.hrwiki.org/wiki/User:The_Chort"
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