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[edit] {{Peasantry}}

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[edit] Swordguys versus Skullguys

Strong Mad's stop-motion Magnum Opus.

Cast (in order of appearance): Skull Guys, Sword Guys, A dragon

Places: Skull Guys' Lair

Date: Friday, October 5, 2018

Running Time: 1:46

[edit] Transcript

{The video opens with a title card reading "Swordguys Versus Skullguys" in spiky blue marker. The word "versus" is enclosed within a dagger that is dripping. Ominous music plays throughout.}

{Cut to a castle with a horned skull face in the front and two towers at the sides.}

{Cut to inside. A skull-faced wizard holds a staf and stands in front of a magic ball on a stand. Two heavyset skull-headed guards flank him.}

{Strong Mad provides the voices for every character. The dialogue is often out of sync with the action.}

SKULL WIZARD: The sword guys are coming. {Turns to the right guard} You go stop them!


{The two guards leave.}


{Cut to a pack of five sword guys who enter from the right, holding various weapons.}

YELLOW SWORD GUY: Look, a skull bowl!

{Cut to a blue bowl with handles and a golden stand sitting on a square rock. It has a skull on it.}

{Cut back the sword guys. They move toward the left. The tallest sword guy stays behind to point to the right.}

{Cut to a crowd of skullguys holding various weapons.}

TALLEST SWORD GUY: {offscreen} Look, a skull guy!

{Cut to a wide shot of the skull bowl. One by one, the sword guys dip their weapons into the bowl. The tallest sword guy, who is unarmed, dips his fist in the bowl.}

SWORDGUYS: Dip the weapons in the bowls!

{Cut to the tallest sword guy with his hand in the bowl. A skull guy enters from the right. The sword guy punches the skull guy in the face. The skull guy's head flies off. The skull guy falls over.}

TALLEST SWORD GUY: Now we can get them!

{Cut to a wide shot. All the sword guys brandish their weapons and move to the right.}

{Cut to a tall skull guy holding a large axe. A green sword guy holding an axe of his own bashes the skull guy, creating large gashes in his body.}

AXE SWORD GUY: Stab! Slice!

{Cut to a a shirtless sword guy holding a long sword. He slices off the skull guy's hand, then stabs the skull guy in the chest, forming a deep hole in his center.}

SHIRTLESS SWORD GUY: Chopping, stabbing!

{The skull guy flees the scene}

{Cut to a short wizard holding a staff. He uses magic on the skull guy in front of him, causing his staff to become charred.}


{Cut to another sword guy. He throws his dagger at the skull guy. It sinks into the skull guy's chest and stays embedded there. The skull guy falls over backwards.}


{Cut to the sword guy with the axe standing between two tall skull guys. He knocks over the left skull guy, then the right one.}

AXE SWORD GUY: Two times at once!

{Cut to the tallest sword guy effortlessly punching and knocking over a skull guy.}


{The sword guy holding a dagger is chasing off three skull guys. He throws his dagger into the back of the one closest to him, causing him to fall forwards.}


{The dagger sword guy leaves in the opposite direction.}

{Cut to the other four sword guys. The dagger sword guy joins them. He directs them to move ahead. The other sword guys raise their weapons in agreement.}

DAGGER SWORD GUY: We gotta go do other stuff!

{All the sword guys raise their weapons and move forward.}

{Fade to black}

{Fade back in to the skull castle.}

{Cut to a large wall made entirely of wooden blocks. The five sword guys come up to it.}

DAGGER SWORD GUY: How do we get into the castle?


{The others move out of the way as the tallest sword guy bashes his head against the wall, causing two wooden blocks to fall away, forming a breach in the wall. The other sword guys crowd around.}

{Cut to a room with two pillars made from wooden blocks, decorated with little skulls. The sword guys enter single file and pass between the pillars.}

{Cut to a crowd of skull guys holding weapons.}


{Cut to the sword guys in front of a curved staircase made from blocks. Close up on the group.}

AXE SWORD GUY: More skull guys! You fight these guys!

{Cut to a wider shot of the group in front of the staircase. The axe guy ascends the stairs as skull guys enter from both sides.}

AXE SWORD GUY: I'll fight the other guys!

{Cut to the stairs. Two of the steps are decorated with skulls. The axe sword guy meets a skull guy on the steps. The axe sword guy hits the skull guy. The skull guy bleed and falls over behind the stairs. The axe sword guy continues upward.}

{Cut to the sword-wielding guy on the steps.}

{Cut to the wizard on the ground. He zaps the skull guy in front of him, causing the skull guy's head to explode.}

SWORD WIZARD: We're fighting so good!

{Cut to the dagger sword guy at the bottom of the steps. He pulls his dagger out from a fallen skull guy and climbs up the stairs.}

{Cut to the tallest sword guy in combat with a skull guy in front of the staircase. The skull guy tries to bash the sword guy's head with a small axe but the sword guy knocks him down.}

{Cut to the sword wielder at the bottom of the staircase. He is surrounded by two skull guys. The sword wielder stabs the skull guy in front of him, creating a hole in his chest. He then does a spin attack, knocking over both skull guys and a few of the blocks in the staircase.}


{Cut to the inner sanctum. The skull wizard stands behind his magic ball with two guards at attention. The axe sword guy enters. The skull wizard flees the scene as the two guys move to attack the axe sword guy.}

AXE SWORD GUY: I'll fight you!

{The dagger sword guy enters. Close up on him.}

DAGGER SWORD GUY: I'm standing still for a long time!

{The dagger sword guy throws his dagger off-screen.}

{Cut to the fray with the axe sword guy and the two skull guards. The dagger flies in and hits one of the skull guys in the hinder. The skull guy is knocked over, falling on top of the axe sword guy.}


{Cut to a room made from wooden blocks, with two gaps for windows. The skull wizard enters.}

{Close up on the skull wizard. The axe sword guy swings his axe from off-screen and chops off one of the skull wizard's horns.}


{Cut to a farther shot of the skull wizard and the axe guy. The axe sword guy comes down from the wooden block.}

{Cut to the axe sword guy. He swings his axe to the edge of the screen. The wizard's skull head sticks to the axe. The axe sword guy removes the skull.}


{Cut to the skull wizard, who has been reveals to be an ordinary bearded man beneath his skull mask.}

AXE SWORD GUY: You're a old bearded guy!

{Cut to the other four sword guys at the bottom of the staircase, crowding around a fallen skull guy warrior with a tall sword sticking upright from his chest. The axe sword guy descends the stairs. The other four turn to face him.}

AXE SWORD GUY: Look out, it's a old bearded guy!

{The axe sword guy turns to look up the stairs as the unmasked skull wizard descends. Close up on him.}

{Cut to the sword wizard from behind.}

SWORD WIZARD: Ah you're my dad!

{Cut to the skull wizard.}

SKULL WIZARD: You always were not very good, son!

{Cut to a wide shot. The skull wizard raises his arms. All the sword guys leave except the wizard. The skull wizard zaps the sword wizard with magic.}

{Cut to a closer shot of the two wizards.}

SWORD WIZARD: Why are you being so mean to me-

{The two wizards climb off the staircase and stand on both sides of the fallen skull warrior. The skull wizard zaps the sword wizard again.}

SWORD WIZARD: -my dad?

{Cut to the skull wizard. He waves his hands.}

{Cut to the sword wizard lying on the floor. He zaps with his staff.}

SWORD WIZARD: But I do magic!

{Cut to the skull wizard. The sword stuck inside the fallen skull warrior floats up and stabs through the skull wizard, who falls backwards.}


{Cut to the fallen sword wizard, who stands back up and walks away. The music becomes much more upbeat.}

{Fade to black.}

{Fade in to the sword guys standing in a triumphant formation, with the tallest one standing behind the others. They turn their heads to face each other, then turn back to the front.}

SWORD GUYS: We did it! Let's look at each other!

{Cut to the skull castle. Strong Mad makes exploding sounds as the castle falls apart. First one horn falls off, then one of the teeth, then a part of the parapets, then the other horn, then a large chunk of the skull head.}

{Cut back to the sword guys. A tall dragon with orange horns joins them. The tallest guy turns to greet him.}


{Fade to black}

{A title card appears reading THE END!! in blue ink. The "D" has a skull face enclosed within it.}

[edit] Fun Facts

  • The Twitter description for this toon is "Will Vinton was a HUGE influence on brother Graw Mad. So to honor Vinton's passing, I give you Strong Mad's stop-motion opus, a stop-mopus, if you will: Swordguys Versus Skullguys."

[edit] External Links

{A purple background on which both marshmallows and meeples are being stacked}

MARSHIE: {voiceover} Stack 'em to the heavens! Stack 'em to the heavens! {He flies in, knocking over the middle stacks} Now you can play a game called "Stack 'Em to the Heavens"!

{the name of the game flies out of his mouth, one word at a time, and appears on the bottom of the screen. The background turns orange, and the words move to the top of the screen, and Marshie is replaced by a cloth bag and some peasant meeples}

WENDELL: {chuckles} That's right, Marshie! {the Boardelectrix logo appears} New from Board—

{record scratch, Marshie appears from the top of the screen, upside-down}

MARSHIE: No you don't, Wendell! This my barbeque!

{Marshie appears in the middle of a stack made of meeples. As he speaks, the view zooms out to reveal he's on a table in front of the Sad Kids}

MARSHIE: "Stack 'Em to the Heavens" is a quick stacking game that's great for when your little brats are waiting for their chicken fingers!


THE SAD BOY: —vegan.

{cut to a box for Trogdor!! The Board Game. The Trogdor on the cover spits out the bag of meeples.}

MARSHIE: {voiceover} And it comes free inside every box of Trogdor!! The Board Game.

{Cut to the bag on a pink background}

MARSHIE: {voiceover} Shake up the bag!

{The bag is shaken, then dumps its contents out}

MARSHIE: {voiceover} Roll the knights and peasants!

{as the meeples are stacked, Marshie rides by on a skateboard}

MARSHIE: And take turns making radical stack-'em-ups!

{Cut to Strong Bad and Homestar at the bar, stacking meeples at a table. Both look incredibly bored.}

STRONG BAD: {in a bored tone} If I can force you to stack three peasants in a row, you lose...!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {adding a peasant to the stack} Not if I can stack them weird ways enough to topple you down!

STRONG BAD: {adds a Trog-Hammer to the stack, knocking it over} Oh no, you toppled me down...

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Great! {looks to the side} Great...

{cut to the two vampire Marshies from Malloween Commercial, with the words "TALK-SAY RE-ENACTMENT" written beneath them}

MARSHIE: {slides across the screen in front of the other two Marshies} "Stack 'em to the heavens" is a talk-say I made a long time ago! And th... these...

{Marshie moves to in front of a large pixelated image of the Videlectrix Guys}

MARSHIE: {shouting} These jerks stole it! {"Stole it" continues to echo}

{Cut back to the original orange-background scene}

MARSHIE: The first one to stack a million... is doing it wrong!

{Cut to a display of Trogdor!! The Board Game, with the bag and meeples in front of it, and the Stack 'Em to the Heavens title beneath}

VIDELECTRIX TWO: {voiceover} Stack 'Em to the Heavens, from Boardelectrix and That Floating Horror. {logos for both companies appear} Included in every box of Trogdor Cereal. I mean, board game. Don't... Don't pour milk on it.

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