Strong Badia the Free Responses (The Castle)

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(Added a good chunk of early dialogue here)
(This Snacky stuff is going to be quite challenging)
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''{The "Believe in YOURSELF" poster from the end of the [[Strong Badia the Free Responses (Marzistar)|Marzistar]] section is seen as the scene begins. A solo violin based instrumental track is heard in the background.}''
''{The "Believe in YOURSELF" poster from the end of the [[Strong Badia the Free Responses (Marzistar)|Marzistar]] section is seen as the scene begins. A solo violin based instrumental track is heard in the background.}''
-
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{voiceover}'' My dearest Marzipan, the siege on the castle continues. We are forever surrounded by the brown stench of war and the constant beigh screaming. ''{the camera zooms in on Homestar's position on the poster}'' Always the beige screaming.
+
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{voiceover}'' My dearest Marzipan, the siege on the castle continues. We are forever surrounded by the brown stench of war and the constant beige screaming. ''{the camera zooms in on Homestar's position on the poster}'' Always the beige screaming.
''{A still image showing Strong Bad looking out of a castle window and seeing The Cheat and Coach Z run away.}''
''{A still image showing Strong Bad looking out of a castle window and seeing The Cheat and Coach Z run away.}''
Line 15: Line 15:
''{The image changes to a picture of Homestar in the castle halls, with the camera panning it from the feet up.}''
''{The image changes to a picture of Homestar in the castle halls, with the camera panning it from the feet up.}''
-
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{voiceover}'' I've done things I'm not proud of. I can only dream of the day when this madness ends and I can return to your ''(ahem)'' arms once again. You'r loveable cuddliness, Homestar Runner.
+
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{voiceover}'' I've done things I'm not proud of. I can only dream of the day when this madness ends and I can return to your ''(ahem)'' arms once again. Your loveable cuddliness, Homestar Runner.
''{It turned out that the Homestar image turned out be a poster held in front of Homestar himself - showing it directly to an irritated Marzipan.}''
''{It turned out that the Homestar image turned out be a poster held in front of Homestar himself - showing it directly to an irritated Marzipan.}''
Line 43: Line 43:
====Left Shelf====
====Left Shelf====
-
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Gravy, Turkey Legs, and Cocoa Butter: three wacky private eyes on a mixed up course towards mayhem! Sunday nights this Fall.
+
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Gravy, Turkey Legs, and Cocoa Butter: three wacky private eyes on a mixed up course towards mayhem! Sunday nights this
 +
Fall.
 +
 
 +
===Homestar Runner===
 +
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{agitated}'' What are you doing, Homestar?
 +
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Castle is secured, Your Travesty!
 +
 
 +
====Homestar Runner → Crown====
 +
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I'm sick of being King. You wanna take over, Homestar?
 +
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Oh hecks no! Who'd want that dumb old job? Nothing to do except sit around this dank old castle. You'd have to be some kinda idiot to want to be King of To... ''{brief pause before speaking more solemnly}'' Oh. I forgot. Your Mom was the King of Town, wasn't she?
 +
:{{short hr}}
 +
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Being king sucks! I gotta get out of this castle.
 +
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' That's a negatory, Nougat Man. We have to...
 +
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{interrupts}'' Did you just call me "Nougat Man"?
 +
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Shhhh! ''{quietly and bossily}'' That's your secret service call sign! ''{speaks normally}'' We've got to keep the Empire safe! And that means keeping the Nougat Man wrapped up in his chocolatey blanket.
 +
:{{short hr}}
 +
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{annoyed}'' Let me out of the castle, Dudley Dork Right.
 +
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' No can do, Nougat Man. That's just what the rebels WANT us to do!
 +
 
 +
====Homestar Runner → Homestarmy====
 +
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I've been telling you for a week now: we don't need the Homestarmy anymore.
 +
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{cautiously}'' You think you're "safe". Is that it? Is that it?!? Freedom isn't free! Freedom's dumb! What if some attractive, robotic rabbit hobbled in here with a bunch of TNT strapped to her back, trying to kiss you? Then where would you be? Huh?
 +
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Probably back at home throwing darts at Strong Sad and not talking to a moron.
 +
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{annoyed}'' That's what I THOUGHT. Ten hut!!
 +
:{{short hr}}
 +
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Strong Badia will be fine without an army, Homestar.
 +
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Oh, please. That kind of garbage talk should be kept in the garbage bin where the garbage gnomes use it as garbage fuel to run their garbage cars and their garbage factories.
 +
 
 +
====Homestar Runner → The Cheat====
 +
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Where's The Cheat?
 +
:'''STRONG MAD:''' ''{smiles}'' THE CHEAT?
 +
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{hostilely}'' I don't want to hear that traitor's name again! NOBODY runs out on the Homestarmy!
 +
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Except The Cheat, Coach Z, and Pom Pom.
 +
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Those bake sale-havers? They didn't run out! They got dishonorably discharged. For running out on the Homestarmy.
 +
:'''STRONG MAD:''' ''{disappointed}'' I MISS THE CHEAT!
 +
 
 +
====Homestar Runner → The King of Town====
 +
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Where did the ''old'' King of Town go?
 +
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Perp was last spotted at a fella by the name of Strong Bad's house. I gots my eye on him! I'll let you know if he starts stir-frying up any trouble!
 +
:{{short hr}}
 +
:'''STRONG BAD:''' What kind of trouble could the King of Town start, anyway?
 +
:'''Oh child, don't get me started! Double trouble, triple trouble, stomach trouble, pretty much all types!
===Bear Rug===
===Bear Rug===
-
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Stupid bear. He shoulda known to hide his food in trees to avoid King of Town attacks.  
+
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Stupid bear. He shoulda known to hide his food in trees to avoid King of Town attacks.
 +
 
 +
===Strong Mad===
 +
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Step aside, Strong Mad. I gotta get out of this place.
 +
:'''STRONG MAD:''' TOO DANGEROUS!
 +
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{turns to the camera with disbelief}'' Trapped in my own castle!
 +
:{{short hr}}
 +
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{speaks desperately}'' Let me go, Strong Mad!
 +
:'''STRONG MAD:''' NO CAN DO!
===Left Candle Holder===
===Left Candle Holder===
Line 53: Line 102:
===Right Candle Holder===
===Right Candle Holder===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' This unlit candle holder could be my one ticket out of this prison... ''{turns to the camera}'' No wait, I'm wrong. It's just decoration.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' This unlit candle holder could be my one ticket out of this prison... ''{turns to the camera}'' No wait, I'm wrong. It's just decoration.
-
:{{short hr}}
 
:'''After lighting the candle holders with the lighter.'''
:'''After lighting the candle holders with the lighter.'''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' There, a little atmosphere was all this place needed. No wait, I'm wrong. It still sucks.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' There, a little atmosphere was all this place needed. No wait, I'm wrong. It still sucks.
Line 78: Line 126:
:{{short hr}}
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Oh, NOW I remember what that thing reminds me of: Charles Darwin! ''{The Teen Girl Squad idea card with Charles Darwin appears on screen}'' Evolution guy and inventor of the fish skeleton, apparently. He'd make a great addition to my Teen Girl Squad comic!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Oh, NOW I remember what that thing reminds me of: Charles Darwin! ''{The Teen Girl Squad idea card with Charles Darwin appears on screen}'' Evolution guy and inventor of the fish skeleton, apparently. He'd make a great addition to my Teen Girl Squad comic!
-
:{{short hr}}
 
:'''After you get the Teen Girl Squad card.'''
:'''After you get the Teen Girl Squad card.'''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' You never forget your first all-you-can-eat buffet.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' You never forget your first all-you-can-eat buffet.
Line 96: Line 143:
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Why do I keep talking to you?
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Why do I keep talking to you?
-
====STrong Sad → The King of Town====
+
====Strong Sad → The King of Town====
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Dispatch a deep-fried carrier pigeon to the King of Town! Tell him he can have his old job back.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Dispatch a deep-fried carrier pigeon to the King of Town! Tell him he can have his old job back.
:'''STRONG SAD:''' The Of Town is quite happy with his new life, playing videogames and answering your e-mails!
:'''STRONG SAD:''' The Of Town is quite happy with his new life, playing videogames and answering your e-mails!
Line 102: Line 149:
''{Cut to the Computer Room in the House of Strong, where the King of Town is reading an email from the Lappy, complete with a pile of creamy ding cakes nearby.}''
''{Cut to the Computer Room in the House of Strong, where the King of Town is reading an email from the Lappy, complete with a pile of creamy ding cakes nearby.}''
-
<blockquote class="email" style="background-image:none;border:#dda">Dear Strong Town,<br />
+
<blockquote class="lappy email" style="background-image:none">Dear Strong Town,<br />
Have you ever thought about becoming a time-stopping astronaut with a laser rifle for a hand?
Have you ever thought about becoming a time-stopping astronaut with a laser rifle for a hand?
<br />
<br />
Line 128: Line 175:
==Computer Room==
==Computer Room==
 +
 +
===Snacky 186===
 +
'''First time only'''
 +
:'''STRONG BAD:''' The Snacky 186? I've seen this piece of crap on late-night informercials! I never knew it was a computer! ''{logs on and sees two folders, for both "Sent Items" and "Templates"}'' Sent email? ''{Clicks on it and reads the most recent sent mail}''
 +
 +
<blockquote class="email" style="border:#f70;border-bottom:#fa0;">
 +
<div>Dumbest Law</div>
 +
Hey Strong Bad!<br/>
 +
What's the dumbest law the King of Town has ever passed?<br>
 +
Dont you think youd be a better ruler than the King of<br>
 +
Town?<br>
 +
Your pal, Roy T. Castle Hill.
 +
</blockquote>
 +
 +
''{Strong Mad mutters the greeting and first question monotonously to himself, before mumbling and skimreading the rest, all up to exclaiming the sender's name out loud with disbelief.}''
 +
 +
:'''STRONG SAD:''' So it was all an elaborate ruse to trick you into taking over his empire!
 +
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{jumps off the stool}'' An elaborate ruse?!! Would you call it chicanery?!
 +
:'''STRONG SAD:''' I actually might, yes.
 +
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{bitterly}'' Oh, that's it. I draw the line at chicanery. ''{leaves the room}'' The Of Town: you're goin' of down!
 +
:'''STRONG SAD:''' You can't mean...?
 +
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I'm getting the King of Town out of my house and back on this Energy Star-compliant throne!
 +
:{{short hr}}
 +
'''Second time only'''
 +
:'''STRONG BAD:''' The O.T.'s computer looks like it was designed for a mix between three-year-olds and train car hoboes. Let's see if I can figure this thing out: hmm, "sent mail" and "templates".
 +
 +
===Sent Items===
 +
 +
====Tax Decree====
 +
 +
<blockquote class="email" style="border:#f70;border-bottom:#fa0">
 +
<div>Tax Decree</div>
 +
Dear citizen,<br>
 +
This message is to inform you of the new EMAIL TAX<br>
 +
effective IMMEDIATELY and RETROACTIVELY in the form of<br>
 +
ONE CREAMY DING SNACK CAKE per message SENT or<br>
 +
RECIEVED, including this one. Please make a note of it.<br>
 +
VIOLATORS WILL BE PERSECUTED.<br>
 +
Your ruler for eternity, the King of Town. P.S. Direct all<br>
 +
complaints to MY HINDER!
 +
</blockquote>
 +
 +
''{Strong Bad reads it exactly like he did at the start of the game.}''
 +
 +
====Dumbest Law====
 +
 +
<blockquote class="email" style="border:#f70;border-bottom:#fa0;">
 +
<div>Dumbest Law</div>
 +
Hey Strong Bad!<br/>
 +
What's the dumbest law the King of Town has ever passed?<br>
 +
Dont you think youd be a better ruler than the King of<br>
 +
Town?<br>
 +
Your pal, Roy T. Castle Hill.
 +
</blockquote>
 +
 +
''{Strong Bad reads it exactly like he did at the start of the game.}''
 +
 +
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{hostilely}'' You think you're so smart, King of Town? We'll see who's the smartest. ''{pauses}'' Smarter. ''{moderately confused}'' More smartest.
 +
 +
====Medical Dining====
 +
 +
<blockquote class="email" style="border:#f70;border-bottom:#fa0;">
 +
<div>Medical Dining</div>
 +
Dear Sirs, I believe I requested a gravy-filled IV drip from<br>
 +
your so-called "medical dining" facility over twelve minutes<br> ago. IT STILL HAS NOT ARRIVED. I trust I don't need to<br>
 +
remind you about the cost of a three-piece malpractice suit!<br>
 +
Threateningly, The King of Town.
 +
</blockquote>
 +
 +
''{Strong Bad emphasizes a more bitter tone to his voice with the capitalised sentence and the mention of the malpractice suit.}''
 +
 +
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Man, even the King of Town can't get decent customer service.
 +
 +
===Templates===
 +
'''First time only'''
 +
:'''STRONG BAD:''' What? The King doesn't even type out his own e-mails? Talk about lazy ''{pronounced lay-ZAY}''. How am I supposed to pick items from a drop down list with boxing gloves on? Typing I can handle. (Don't ask me how.)
 +
 +
====Food Order====
 +
 +
<blockquote class="email" style="border:#f70;border-bottom:#fa0;">
 +
<div>Food Order</div>
 +
To: <font
 +
style="background-color:#777">  blank  </font><br>
 +
Please send <font
 +
style="background-color:#777">  blank  </font><br>
 +
of your slobber-inducing<br>
 +
<font
 +
style="background-color:#777">  blank  </font><br>
 +
to The Castle, immediately! I'm frikkin' dying here!<br>
 +
There's an extra tuppence in it for you if you hurry!<br>
 +
Your hungriest customer, The King of Town.<br>
 +
</blockquote>
 +
===Floppy Disc Container===
===Floppy Disc Container===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' "Recipes and Snack Ideas from Peasant's Quest." The King of Town can even make computer games boring.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' "Recipes and Snack Ideas from Peasant's Quest." The King of Town can even make computer games boring.
 +
 +
===Snacky Plug===
 +
:'''STRONG BAD:''' The Of Town shouldn't leave his lappy on. It'll butn the whole castle down... ''{unplugs the Snacky, and a spare crown pops out of the Snacky's toaster compartment}''
 +
:{{short hr}}
 +
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Awesome!
 +
:{{short hr}}
 +
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Whoa.
 +
:{{short hr}}
 +
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Intriguing.
 +
:{{short hr}}
 +
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Not so intriguing.
 +
 +
====Spare Crown====
 +
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{takes it}}'' The Of Town must've put an emergency crown in here in case of a power outage.
{{stub}}
{{stub}}

Revision as of 17:30, 8 October 2008

Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People has many responses when you talk to various characters and interact with various objects. These are the responses from The Castle in Strong Badia the Free.

On these pages, A → B (right arrow) means that the response happens when object A is used on thing B, or in the case of talking to other characters, the indicated sequence of chat topic icons are chosen.

A short horizontal line between two or more responses, such as the one above, means only one of the responses is heard at a time, and that the action results in a different response each time it occurs.


Contents

When arriving for the first time

{The "Believe in YOURSELF" poster from the end of the Marzistar section is seen as the scene begins. A solo violin based instrumental track is heard in the background.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {voiceover} My dearest Marzipan, the siege on the castle continues. We are forever surrounded by the brown stench of war and the constant beige screaming. {the camera zooms in on Homestar's position on the poster} Always the beige screaming.

{A still image showing Strong Bad looking out of a castle window and seeing The Cheat and Coach Z run away.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {voiceover} We have suffered great losses. The Cheat was the first to turn tail and join the Enemy... {the image zooms into The Cheat and Coach Z} ..quickly followed by the Traitorous Coach Z. Which, incidentally, is his new rap name.

{The image changes to a picture of Homestar in the castle halls, with the camera panning it from the feet up.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {voiceover} I've done things I'm not proud of. I can only dream of the day when this madness ends and I can return to your (ahem) arms once again. Your loveable cuddliness, Homestar Runner.

{It turned out that the Homestar image turned out be a poster held in front of Homestar himself - showing it directly to an irritated Marzipan.}

MARZIPAN: Don't be stupid, Homestar.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Okay! {throws the poster behind him}
MARZIPAN: The seige lasted five minutes, and that was a week ago. It was like the King of Town WANTED to give up.
HOMESAR RUNNER: {confidently} The Homestarmy sure showed him a thing or twelve!
MARZIPAN: Whatever. I just wanted to tell you AGAIN to pick up your stupid draft wheel from my house. I need the yard for my Down With The King rally. Now I'm going back town to protest you-slash-everything you stand for. {walks away}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Okay, Marzipan! Call me!

{The camera then pans towards the throne - technically part-throne and part-fridge - with Strong Bad sitting there wearing a crown and a fake beard.}

STRONG BAD: {annoyed} Ohh, how could I have known being King of Town would suck so many eggs? {brief pause} Wait, how COULDN'T I have known? {jumps off the throne and removes the crown and fake beard}
STRONG SAD: {appears from behind the throne} There, there, my liege. That emptiness you feel inside? I want you to take that, and cram it full of chimichangas! {pats his stomach twice}

Throne Room

Throne

STRONG BAD: No more sitting on that thing. I'm starting to get bedsores AND freezer burn.

Shelves

Right Shelf

STRONG BAD: {discovers a fake beard in the shelves} The Of Town's Household Hint #43: Keep a spare beard in your fridge's dairy section to take the edge off that late-summer heat.
STRONG BAD: Six servings of butter and butter-based products a day: It's not just a good idea, it's the law.

Left Shelf

STRONG BAD: Gravy, Turkey Legs, and Cocoa Butter: three wacky private eyes on a mixed up course towards mayhem! Sunday nights this

Fall.

Homestar Runner

STRONG BAD: {agitated} What are you doing, Homestar?
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Castle is secured, Your Travesty!

Homestar Runner → Crown

STRONG BAD: I'm sick of being King. You wanna take over, Homestar?
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh hecks no! Who'd want that dumb old job? Nothing to do except sit around this dank old castle. You'd have to be some kinda idiot to want to be King of To... {brief pause before speaking more solemnly} Oh. I forgot. Your Mom was the King of Town, wasn't she?
STRONG BAD: Being king sucks! I gotta get out of this castle.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: That's a negatory, Nougat Man. We have to...
STRONG BAD: {interrupts} Did you just call me "Nougat Man"?
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Shhhh! {quietly and bossily} That's your secret service call sign! {speaks normally} We've got to keep the Empire safe! And that means keeping the Nougat Man wrapped up in his chocolatey blanket.
STRONG BAD: {annoyed} Let me out of the castle, Dudley Dork Right.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: No can do, Nougat Man. That's just what the rebels WANT us to do!

Homestar Runner → Homestarmy

STRONG BAD: I've been telling you for a week now: we don't need the Homestarmy anymore.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: {cautiously} You think you're "safe". Is that it? Is that it?!? Freedom isn't free! Freedom's dumb! What if some attractive, robotic rabbit hobbled in here with a bunch of TNT strapped to her back, trying to kiss you? Then where would you be? Huh?
STRONG BAD: Probably back at home throwing darts at Strong Sad and not talking to a moron.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: {annoyed} That's what I THOUGHT. Ten hut!!
STRONG BAD: Strong Badia will be fine without an army, Homestar.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh, please. That kind of garbage talk should be kept in the garbage bin where the garbage gnomes use it as garbage fuel to run their garbage cars and their garbage factories.

Homestar Runner → The Cheat

STRONG BAD: Where's The Cheat?
STRONG MAD: {smiles} THE CHEAT?
HOMESTAR RUNNER: {hostilely} I don't want to hear that traitor's name again! NOBODY runs out on the Homestarmy!
STRONG BAD: Except The Cheat, Coach Z, and Pom Pom.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Those bake sale-havers? They didn't run out! They got dishonorably discharged. For running out on the Homestarmy.
STRONG MAD: {disappointed} I MISS THE CHEAT!

Homestar Runner → The King of Town

STRONG BAD: Where did the old King of Town go?
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Perp was last spotted at a fella by the name of Strong Bad's house. I gots my eye on him! I'll let you know if he starts stir-frying up any trouble!
STRONG BAD: What kind of trouble could the King of Town start, anyway?
Oh child, don't get me started! Double trouble, triple trouble, stomach trouble, pretty much all types!

Bear Rug

STRONG BAD: Stupid bear. He shoulda known to hide his food in trees to avoid King of Town attacks.

Strong Mad

STRONG BAD: Step aside, Strong Mad. I gotta get out of this place.
STRONG MAD: TOO DANGEROUS!
STRONG BAD: {turns to the camera with disbelief} Trapped in my own castle!
STRONG BAD: {speaks desperately} Let me go, Strong Mad!
STRONG MAD: NO CAN DO!

Left Candle Holder

STRONG BAD: The King of Town ate the candles but left the flames. That guy's a real professional.

Right Candle Holder

STRONG BAD: This unlit candle holder could be my one ticket out of this prison... {turns to the camera} No wait, I'm wrong. It's just decoration.
After lighting the candle holders with the lighter.
STRONG BAD: There, a little atmosphere was all this place needed. No wait, I'm wrong. It still sucks.

Lighter → Right Candle Holder

STRONG BAD: What this creepy castle needs is a little mood lighting. {lights the candles}

Maps and Minions Deluxe

STRONG BAD: {amazed} Get outta of town! The King had his own Deluxe Edition Olden Earthe Maps & Minions Board! With the pewter game pieces! {analyses the board} He used his for a map as well. We are like two sides of the same coin. Except... {slightly hastily} ...his side is all bloated and dripping with grease.
STRONG SAD: The empire has grown much since your victory, my liege! Everybody wanna be part of Strong Badia!
STRONG BAD: Well, a) I don't want them to. And 2) If you call me that again, "my liege" is gonna rearrange your face! {looks back down at the board} From here I can give orders to the entire Homestarmy. All... three... of them.
STRONG SAD: No need, sire!
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Situation is completely under control! Or "sitch is comp und 'trol" if you're short on time.
STRONG SAD: Don't trouble yourself with petty troop movements, your grace!
STRONG MAD: TAKE IT EASY!
STRONG BAD: {disappointed} Aww, man. I can't even tell my lowly peons what to do anymore!
STRONG BAD: I could send my "army" anywhere I want, but there's nobody to fight against.

Ex-Fish

STRONG BAD: Whoa, deja vu! That fish reminds me of something... {ponders} That time we fit The Cheat in Strong Mad's mouth? Nah, that's not it.
STRONG BAD: {ponders} What DOES that thing remind me of? That summer we tried to convince ourselves that potatoes were...? Nah, that's not it.
STRONG BAD: Oh, NOW I remember what that thing reminds me of: Charles Darwin! {The Teen Girl Squad idea card with Charles Darwin appears on screen} Evolution guy and inventor of the fish skeleton, apparently. He'd make a great addition to my Teen Girl Squad comic!
After you get the Teen Girl Squad card.
STRONG BAD: You never forget your first all-you-can-eat buffet.

Strong Sad

STRONG BAD: This has been the most boring week I ever spent not in a coma. I gotta get out of this job.
STRONG SAD: Never, my liege! The empire needs you to rule! It is your DESTINY!

Strong Sad → Crown

STRONG BAD: Why would anyone want to be king? No e-mail, no videogames... nothing but totally ignoring people's complaints and concerns.
STRONG SAD: You'll feel better after your cheese and gravy bath.
STRONG BAD: {annoyed} I told you already: stop with all the food make!
STRONG SAD: But you need to keep up your strength to watch your kingdom wither and decay into oblivion!
STRONG BAD: This job is wearing down on me, man.
STRONG SAD: But you must persevere, sire, until the heavy weight of the crown drags you and your empire down into the black abyss of death.
STRONG BAD: Why do I keep talking to you?

Strong Sad → The King of Town

STRONG BAD: Dispatch a deep-fried carrier pigeon to the King of Town! Tell him he can have his old job back.
STRONG SAD: The Of Town is quite happy with his new life, playing videogames and answering your e-mails!

{Cut to the Computer Room in the House of Strong, where the King of Town is reading an email from the Lappy, complete with a pile of creamy ding cakes nearby.}

{The King of Town pronounces NJ as "New Joy-sey".}

THE KING OF TOWN: Hmmmm. No, no, Mr. Fingerbottom, I can't say that I have. Thanks for writing, though!

{Cut back to the Castle.}

STRONG BAD: {agitated} What?!? He didn't even make fun of the name!
STRONG SAD: But he's gotten quite popular! Fark links to him every week.
STRONG BAD: We've got to get the King of Town back in here.
STRONG SAD: That's treason, sire! Besides, he's too happy taking over your old job, no-loafing and answering e-mails.

Strong Sad → Strong Mad

STRONG BAD: Tell the castle guard to let me out of this place.
STRONG SAD: That's impossible, sire! There are far too many enemies of the state out there. The revolutionaries would try to kick you off the throne, or worse! They might want to... {feels faint} ...pants you!
STRONG BAD: Tell Strong Mad he's fired. I don't need-a no castle guard.
STRONG SAD: Nonsense, your majesty! Without us here keeping you safe, the revolutionaries would siege-slash-sieze the castle!

Computer Room

Snacky 186

First time only

STRONG BAD: The Snacky 186? I've seen this piece of crap on late-night informercials! I never knew it was a computer! {logs on and sees two folders, for both "Sent Items" and "Templates"} Sent email? {Clicks on it and reads the most recent sent mail}

{Strong Mad mutters the greeting and first question monotonously to himself, before mumbling and skimreading the rest, all up to exclaiming the sender's name out loud with disbelief.}

STRONG SAD: So it was all an elaborate ruse to trick you into taking over his empire!
STRONG BAD: {jumps off the stool} An elaborate ruse?!! Would you call it chicanery?!
STRONG SAD: I actually might, yes.
STRONG BAD: {bitterly} Oh, that's it. I draw the line at chicanery. {leaves the room} The Of Town: you're goin' of down!
STRONG SAD: You can't mean...?
STRONG BAD: I'm getting the King of Town out of my house and back on this Energy Star-compliant throne!

Second time only

STRONG BAD: The O.T.'s computer looks like it was designed for a mix between three-year-olds and train car hoboes. Let's see if I can figure this thing out: hmm, "sent mail" and "templates".

Sent Items

Tax Decree

{Strong Bad reads it exactly like he did at the start of the game.}

Dumbest Law

{Strong Bad reads it exactly like he did at the start of the game.}

STRONG BAD: {hostilely} You think you're so smart, King of Town? We'll see who's the smartest. {pauses} Smarter. {moderately confused} More smartest.

Medical Dining

{Strong Bad emphasizes a more bitter tone to his voice with the capitalised sentence and the mention of the malpractice suit.}

STRONG BAD: Man, even the King of Town can't get decent customer service.

Templates

First time only

STRONG BAD: What? The King doesn't even type out his own e-mails? Talk about lazy {pronounced lay-ZAY}. How am I supposed to pick items from a drop down list with boxing gloves on? Typing I can handle. (Don't ask me how.)

Food Order


Floppy Disc Container

STRONG BAD: "Recipes and Snack Ideas from Peasant's Quest." The King of Town can even make computer games boring.

Snacky Plug

STRONG BAD: The Of Town shouldn't leave his lappy on. It'll butn the whole castle down... {unplugs the Snacky, and a spare crown pops out of the Snacky's toaster compartment}
STRONG BAD: Awesome!
STRONG BAD: Whoa.
STRONG BAD: Intriguing.
STRONG BAD: Not so intriguing.

Spare Crown

STRONG BAD: {takes it}} The Of Town must've put an emergency crown in here in case of a power outage.

STUB'D! This article is a stub. You can help the Homestar Runner Wiki by expanding it.


Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People
Produced by Telltale Games and Videlectrix
Promotional Media

Strong Bad Gameways, Advertisement, Gameplay Trailer, Tech Demo, Dev Blog, Workin' on the Game,
Behind The Bad (1, 2, 3), Make a Scene with Telltale: Strong Bad Edition, Collector's DVD, Interviews

All Episodes

Tutorial, WiiWare Intros

Episode 1:
Homestar Ruiner

Gameplay: Walkthrough, Snake Boxer 5, Teen Girl Squad
Responses: House of Strong, Marzipan's, K.o.T. Castle, The Track, The Field
Promotional Media: Homestar at the Track, Around the Field, Behind The Bad Chapter 1: The New Hire
Songs: Handle My Style, Fluffy Puff Jela-ton, Showdown

Episode 2:
Strong Badia the Free

Gameplay: Walkthrough, Math Kickers, Cave Girl Squad, Maps and Minions
Various: Countries, Homsartifacts
Responses: Bleak House, The Field, Homsar Reservation, Pompomerania, Country, Marzistar, The Castle
Promotional Media: Gameplay Trailer
Songs: Justice Combo Meal

Episode 3:
Baddest of the Bands

Gameplay: Walkthrough, Limozeen's Hot Babelien Odyssey, Teen Girl Squad Meets Limozeen
Various: Bands
Responses: House of Strong, The Field, Marzipan's, Club Technochocolate, The Track, Battle of the Bands stages
Promotional Media: Gameplay Trailer, Behind The Bad Chapter 2: The Heist, Promo, baddestofthebands.com
Songs: Food-Related Love, Cool Tapes songs, Other songs

Episode 4:
Dangeresque 3:
The Criminal Projective

Gameplay: Walkthrough, Space Circus Catastrophe
Responses: Smoky Office, Brainblow City, Strongborneo, Secret Lab, Catacombs, Old Club, Cutesy's House, World Locations, The Sun
Promotional Media: Dangeresque: Puppet Squad, Gameplay Clips, Mini-Site
Songs: Today is Alright 4 2Nite

Episode 5:
8-Bit is Enough

Gameplay: Walkthrough, Gel-Arshie's Pro Fruitboarder, Redcoat Ghost Patrol, Trogdor's 3D-Ungeon
Various: Character Variations, Spirits of '76, Halfathlon
Responses: House of Strong, The Field, Crates, Videlectrix Mainframe, Halfathlon, Gel-Arshie's Backstage, Stinkoman 20X6, Peasantry
Promotional Media: Behind The Bad Chapter 3: The Last Straw

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