Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective Responses (Smoky Office)
From Homestar Runner Wiki
Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People has many responses when you talk to various characters and interact with various objects. These are the responses from the Smoky Office in Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective.
On these pages, A → B (right arrow) means that the response happens when object A is used on thing B, or in the case of talking to other characters, the indicated sequence of chat topic icons are chosen.
A short horizontal line between two or more responses, such as the one above, means only one of the responses is heard at a time, and that the action results in a different response each time it occurs.
Contents |
Game Introduction
{The camera slowly fades in on a dark room in an apartment high-rise, with the skyline of a nighttime city outside. Thunder can be heard faintly. Cut to an overhead shot of a nunchuck-gun (a pair of nunchucks taped to a revolver) sitting on a desk, with an overhead lamp shining on it. A boxing glove-clad hand reaches out and takes them. Cut to a shot of the room's front door from the inside, the camera slowly panning in to it. The door slowly creaks open. Cut to pitch blackness}
- STRONG BAD: {offscreen} I always knew it would come to this.
{Cut to an extreme close-up of Strong Bad's mouth}
- STRONG BAD: Did you think I wouldn't find out?
{Cut to a further-away shot of Strong Bad holding the nunchuk-gun and wearing shades}
- STRONG BAD: Did you really believe that I would never—
{Cut to an even-further-away shot of Strong Bad standing behind the desk}
- STRONG BAD: —discover the true face of my greatest enemy?
{A silhouetted Homestar Runner walks in and obscures part of the foreground}
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: That's right. But it doesn't matter now because I have the diamond!
- STRONG BAD: You mean...
{Strong Bad holds up a diamond}
- STRONG BAD: THIS DIAMOND!?
{Thunder crashes}
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: GASP!
{Cut to black. The title sequence for the game is shown, with the credits being shown amid silhouettes of Strong Bad as Dangeresque, Homestar as Dangeresque Too and Coach Z as Renaldo, and while an instrumental of the music of the "Dangeresque II: This time, it's not Dangeresque 1" theme plays. After the credits, fade in on Strong Bad dozing on his computer room desk in front of the Lappy 486. He suddenly awakens with a start.}
- STRONG BAD: Wha-hwoa? Oh yeah, right. Reply to all...
{Cut to Strong Bad's perspective of the Lappy, as he starts typing on the keyboard with his boxing gloves on}
- STRONG BAD: {typing} Dear, {slightly quickly} all the annoying morons that have been bugging me about it for the last four and a half years... {normal} Yes, I finally finished Dangeresque 3: {sultry voice} The Criminal Projective, {normal voice} so you can all EAT IT! {clears the screen} The critics are stark raving, "A dastardly masterly masterwork of cinemagic wonder."... "More special effects than a Jessica Tandy joint!"... "They may give you the whole tub of popcorn, but you'll only need the edge!" {again clears the screen} Tickets are selling for like $100 a piece! Everybody who's anybody that gives me a hundred bucks is going to be there!
{Cut to a different perspective of the computer desk}
- STRONG BAD: Oh crap! I'm late for the premiere!
{Cut to a shot of a VHS tape on the desk, which Strong Bad picks up, and then leaves the computer room. Cut to the basement, where Bubs, Coach Z, Homestar and Marzipan all are, all looking impatient. Strong Bad enters the room}
- MARZIPAN: Where have you been?
- COACH Z: Hey, we've been waiting for hours!
- BUBS: Finally, let's start the movie!
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: Is that him? I think that's him!
- STRONG BAD: {jumping on top of the VCR atop the Telebision} Ok peoples, here is the moment you have all been waiting for! The long awaited premiere of ...DANGERESQUE... THREE! {imitates echoing} Three... three... three...
{Strong Bad gets down from on top of the TV and puts the tape in the VCR. Cut a front shot of the TV, with the camera zooming in on it, until it fills up the screen. The screen fades in on static and The Cheat's flipper-like hand holding up a crude title card reading the movie title, backed by the Smokey Office. The Cheat then removes the card as Strong Bad as Dangeresque says the following line:}
- STRONG BAD: {talking on the phone} Yeah, well I don't care what the FBI, CIA, RGB and XFL say! I already returned the priceless paintings that were evidence!
{Strong Bad hangs up the phone and faces the camera}
- STRONG BAD: Dangeresque plays by his own rules!
{Strong Bad turns his head to his right (the viewer's left) as he hears the door knocking.}
Inside
Paintings
- STRONG BAD: {sarcastically} Oh, how did those get here? I thought sure I returned these priceless paintings that were evidence. Ha! Suckers!
Chair
Lappy 486
Door
- {First time only}
- STRONG BAD: Yeah, I should probably answer that. It's probably a gorgeous dame in desperate need of my help.
- {He opens the door}
- STRONG BAD: {his head inside the doorway} Why, hello beautiful.
- {Coach Z as Renaldo enters the Smokey Office}
- COACH Z: Hello Dangeresque! It's me... Renaldo! Your partner! I'm here with your on-again off-again sometimes other partner with the same name as you, Dangeresque... Too?
- {Homestar Runner as Dangeresque Too enters the office carrying a cake.}
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: Sup, Big D.
- COACH Z: Are we late for the... uhh... what's my line?
- STRONG BAD: {softly; annoyed} ...Retirement party.
- COACH Z: Oh yeah... Retirement party? You know, because I retire in two weeks and then I'm off to spend my days in the Sidekick Islands where nothing can possibly kill you off {he pronounces "off" as "orf"}!
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: I brought cake!
- {Strong Bad closes the door}
Nunchuk Gun
Trinket
Window
Renaldo
Dangeresque Too
Lamp
Cake
Diet Brown
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