technology

From Homestar Runner Wiki

Demonstrating the art of floppy disk folding.

Strong Bad makes an introduction to technology for middle school students.

Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad, The Cheat, Pom Pom, Bubs (Easter egg), Homestar Runner (Easter egg), Strong Sad (Easter egg)

Places: Computer Room, The Classroom, The Field, Bubs' Concession Stand (Easter egg)

Computer: Lappy 486

Date: January 30, 2006

Running Time: 3:39

Page Title: Lappy 486

Transcript

{Strong Bad types "strongbad_email.exe" and presses enter.}

STRONG BAD: {singing} Don't you wanna email, don't you need a email, don't you turn your life around!

subject: little help, please

Dear Strong Bad;
I'm a middle school technology teacher. I would really
appreciate it if you could come up with an introduction I
could use for my new classes. Thanks.
Jay
Oswego NY

{Strong Bad pronounces "Oswego NY" as "Oswego to New York" with "Oswego" in a sing-song voice, as if saying "Off we go!"}

STRONG BAD: {typing} You would really appreciate it? That's it? Man, back in the olden {pronounces "olden" as ol-dén} days, I could get upwards of 3 chickens, a sack of barley and a half-dead goat all for doing one of my technology intromercials. {clears screen} Well, I sure hope JCPenney's accepts really appreciate it's, 'cause I know for a fact they stopped taking {exaggerates voice} I'll be your best friend's {returns to normal} a while ago. Either way, middle school kids are all idiots and they need as much of my help and guidance as they can get.

{Strong Bad gets up. Cut to a classroom with Strong Bad in a white lab coat, the words "I'M USING TECHNOLOGY" written on the blackboard and a poster with a drawing of a computer captioned "computers don't BYTE".}

STRONG BAD: {slightly robotic tone} One, zero zero, one one, zero, one, one zero, one one zero, zero one. {normal voice} You may not have understood me, but I was speaking technology.

{Cut to a close-up of Strong Bad's head in the lab.}

STRONG BAD: The word technology... means... magic. It's basically anything that's really cool that you don't know how it works. And if it breaks, you have to buy a new one. Why, I've got some technology beneath my pants right now! Whoo-ya!

{Cut to the full classroom shot again. Strong Bad takes a 5¼" floppy disk with the logo "5.25 power" from behind him, throws it in the air and catches it in his right hand.}

STRONG BAD: This is a diskette. Diskettes were invented by computers to help us. Like how cows—

{A crude drawing of a cow replaces the text on the blackboard.}

STRONG BAD: —invented milk.

{Zoom in on Strong Bad's head.}

STRONG BAD: The two warring factions of diskettes are floppy disks—

{He shakes the 5¼" disk, emphasizing its floppiness.}

STRONG BAD: —and hard disks.

{He lifts an unlabeled 3½" floppy disk in his right hand.}

STRONG BAD: I prefer {hides the 3½" disk} these big ones because they hold more memory, although you have to {crumples the 5¼" disk} fold them up to fit them into these new computers.

{Camera pans right to center on the "computers don't BYTE!" poster. Strong Bad drops the crumpled disk and continues.}

STRONG BAD: Another thing you'll need is your very own email address.

{Cut to a Tandy 400-like computer screen with an orange envelope labeled "email".}

STRONG BAD: Just take your favorite hobby,—

{The words "soccer", "ballet", "nachoeating", "skater", "fire", "football", "racecar" and "swimteam" alternate under the envelope and stop on "swimteam".}

STRONG BAD: — add kid, grrl, pie or izzle—

{The words alternate next to "swimteam" as he speaks them, then being replaced by "pie".}

STRONG BAD: —and put a bunch of numbers at the end!

{The number "33331" appears next to "pie". The address is completed with "@kindergartencop.edu" appearing on the next line. Then, cut to the classroom with a picture of a robot marching towards a city and the text "gank gank!"}

STRONG BAD: {in a robotic voice} Robots are technology shaped like square people. {returns to normal voice} They are primarily used for destroying Japan and serving hors d'œuvres.

{The Cheat walks up to Strong Bad with a plate of hors d'œuvres, making robotic noises and encased in what appears to be an upside-down metal pail. The pail has bolts drawn on it in black marker and light bulbs sticking out of holes cut in the sides.}

STRONG BAD: Ah, The Cheatbot! I would love a stuffed grape leaf! {grabs one and eats it}

{Cut to The Field, where the lab-coat wearing Strong Bad and "The Cheatbot" are standing next to Pom Pom, who is talking to someone on his PDA.}

STRONG BAD: Originally, tellular cellaphones {indicating Pom Pom's PDA} were for sending misspelled messages to your friends, telling them where you are in the food court.

POM POM: {makes a few bubbling noises directed at Strong Bad, then resumes his conversation}

STRONG BAD: Pom Pom just bought movie tickets with his cell phone!

POM POM: {looks annoyed and makes more bubbling noises}

STRONG BAD: Oh, he just watched a movie on his cell phone!

POM POM: {looks angry at Strong Bad, makes more bubbling noises}

STRONG BAD: Oh oh oh! Pom Pom just wrote, directed, produced, and distributed a movie with his cell phone!

POM POM: {answers an incoming call and makes a few more bubbling noises}

STRONG BAD: ...and he just got into Sundance! High-five, brother!

{Pom Pom absorbs his PDA into his body, produces a pair of sunglasses and a water bottle, and bounces off, "drinking" from the water bottle.}

STRONG BAD: {holding out for the high-five a bit longer} Uh, cool, right. I'll, uh... see you later. {waits a bit, then turns to The Cheat} What are you still doing here, The Cheatbot?

{Cut back to the classroom, where the blackboard now reads "THE FUTURE??" in large letters.}

STRONG BAD: The future of technology, or at least what people won't shut up about, is wireless. You know, things like—

{The view zooms in on the blackboard, which displays drawings of each of the items Strong Bad mentions.}

STRONG BAD: —walkmans, flashlights, and solar calculators.

{He pops up in front of the blackboard and holds up a "Cakkalater" brand calculator which has the digits "53045 3080" typed in.}

STRONG BAD: Look, I can make mine say "oboe shoes"!

{He turns the calculator upside-down so that the digits resemble the words "OBOE ShOES". Cut back to the Lappy, as Strong Bad sits back down.}

STRONG BAD: {typing} And then there's the Lappy, which rules over technology with a 42 pound, allegedly portable fist. Watch as it magically saves this screen.

{Strong Bad types "screen_savior.exe" on a new line, bringing up a screen saver that resembles a primitive 3D maze. The words "Strong Bad gots the style" are written on the wall at every turn.}

STRONG BAD: The screen is saved, man. This thing's gonna last like 50 years! Alright, awkward children, I'm all done kickin' my tech-knowledge. Now leave me alone! Got to find my way out of these catacombs...

{The Paper comes down.}

STRONG BAD: {mumbling to himself} Left... left... no, right... no, left... right... just keep goin'... Strong Bad... style...

STRONG BAD: {after some time} Where are you taking me, Lappy?

STRONG BAD: {after another delay} Man... I throwed up all over this maze.

Easter Eggs

• Click on the words "half-dead goat" for a picture of a goat with the caption: "Do you see this goat as half-dead or half-alive?"

• Click the left side of the Lappy's screen at the end to see Strong Bad and Strong Sad arguing over floppy/hard disks.

STRONG SAD: I keep telling you they're both floppy disks!

STRONG BAD: You think this is a floppy disk?

STRONG SAD: Yes, it is!

STRONG BAD: It's not a hard disk? {he hits his desk with the disk three times}

STRONG SAD: No.

STRONG BAD: Are you sure about this?

STRONG SAD: Absolu- {Strong Bad throws the disk in his face} Ow!

• Click the right side of the Lappy's screen at the end to see Bubs selling Wireless Extension Cords.

BUBS: Get your wireless extension cords. Three for three hundred! Lightweight, existent, and shockproof!

{Homestar peeks out from the left edge of the screen}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Umm... I'll take fooour! {he flies up the left screen edge and disappears}

Fun Facts

Explanations

• When Strong Bad "speaks technology," he is speaking in binary code, where each 1 or 0 is a bit.
  • A byte is an ordered collection of 8 bits.
• There are two kinds of disks shown in the email, 5¼" and 3½", and they are both floppy disks (meaning Strong Sad was correct). Note that not only does Strong Bad misidentify the 3½" floppy disk, but he incorrectly states that the larger disk has more memory. The smaller one has more disk space.
  • In a 3½" floppy disk, the disk itself is flexible, hence the name "floppy disk", even though it is inside a hard case. In a hard disk, the disk itself is inflexible.
• A hard disk or hard drive (more correctly: "hard disk drive") is a storage unit for computer files that is usually located inside the computer and, therefore, not portable; however, recent technology has made hard drives that are both external and portable.
• A catacomb is any network of caves, grottos, or subterranean place that is used for the burial of the dead, or it can refer to a specific underground burial place.

Trivia

• The label on the disk in the floppy disk container reads "gold rush".
• Taken as a whole number, Strong Bad's sequence "10011011011001" represents the number 9945. In 7-bit ASCII, this sequence represents the letters "MY".
  • This sequence is also a palindrome.

Remarks

• You cannot actually fold a 5¼" floppy disk to make it work in a 3½" drive. Attempting to do so will destroy the media (and possibly damage the disk drive).
• The screensaver goes in an endless loop of Forward, Turn Right, Forward, Turn Left, as shown here:

  ---- end
    |
    |---- end
    |  |
   end |---- end
       |  |
      end |...

• Strong Bad has referred to the 3½" disks as floppy disks in the email funny.
• The number on the chalkboard solar calculator, 3.14, is the most common approximation of pi.
• A typical solar calculator has space for only 8 numbers. Strong Bad's has 10.
  • This calculator is also able to insert spaces between numbers, which normal calculators can't do.

Inside References

• Pom Pom's ring tone is the indietronic remix of The Geddup Noise, heard in the email geddup noise.
• The "kindergartencop.edu" domain was also used in unused emails, for the email address that Bubs sends spam to.
• The Lappy being 42 pounds and portable is also mentioned in animal, when it first debuted.
• This is another appearance of Goats.
• Homestar flying up the side of the screen bears a resemblance to many instances of Homsar doing similar things.
• The Cheatbot's sounds are nearly identical to those he makes in the intro to the news program in local news.
• When Strong Bad is describing how to create an e-mail address, there are references to both 'grrl' and 'Pie'.
• This is another instance of the Food Court.
• During the screen saver, Strong Bad says, "Left, left, no! Right, left..." This was said by Homestar in Trogdor Con '97

Real World References

• Strong Bad's binary sequence sounds very similar to the song "10001110101" by Clutch.
• The "catacombs" screensaver on the Lappy is reminiscent of the "3D-Maze" screen saver first introduced in Windows 95 OSR-2. It is also similar to the 1991 DOS game Catacomb Abyss.
• Kindergarten Cop is a movie starring Arnold Schwarzenegger as an undercover cop, posing as a teacher.
• Sundance is an annual independent film festival in Park City, Utah, founded by actor Robert Redford and also a US pay cable television channel showing similar films. The name refers to Redford's portrayal of The Sundance Kid in the film Butch Cassidy and The Sundance Kid.
• Pom Pom's cell phone looks like a Palm Treo 600, 650, or 700w.
• Pom Pom drinks from what appears to be a Nalgene water bottle, a brand popular with college students and Hollywood artist types.
• JCPenney is a large chain of department stores commonly found in malls.
• Pom Pom's cell phone says "Incoming Call: Bob Redford", referring to American actor Robert Redford.
• "Do you see this goat as half-dead or half-alive?" is a reference to the famous expression "Do you see this glass as half-empty or half-full?", a psychological question often used to determine if a person is optimistic or pessimistic. It is also a reference to the famous Schrodinger's cat experiment which involves an experiment wherein an unobserved cat is in a quantum superposition of being alive and dead.
• In MMORPGs, gank is slang for a player attacking and killing another player who is at extreme disadvantage.
• Strong Bad's definition of technology may be a spoof on Clarke's third law: "Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic." Most middle-school technology classes begin with the definition of technology, which is the use of tools, materials, and knowledge to solve problems and do tasks efficiently.
• The first item to appear written on the blackboard is "I'm using technology," a lyric from the Stooges song Search and Destroy--"Look out honey, ’cause I’m using technology."
• Coincidentally, on the morning that this email appeared, NPR's Morning Edition aired a story about movies filmed with cell phones.
• The poster that says computers don't BYTE, the font used for BYTE is the same font used in BYTE magazine. The computer on the poster also resembles an Apple IIe.
• When Strong Bad says he will be "Kicking (his) new Tech-Kuh-Nowledge", he is referencing the Beastie Boys, in particular "The Sounds Of Science" on Pauls Boutique. The lyrics go "I've been dropping the new science and kicking the new knowledge An M.C. to a degree that you can't get in college", in which "Knowledge" is pronounced with the "K" in the way Strong Bad does in the toon.
• "Intromercial" is a play on "infomercial", a commercial that usually lasts at least half an hour, often called "paid programming".

External Links

• watch "technology"
• watch "technology" on the old Flash site
• view the Flash file for "technology"
• forum thread re: "technology"