Strong Badia the Free Responses (Marzistar)
From Homestar Runner Wiki
(Difference between revisions)
((I'll do Coach Z on the Draft Wheel later tonight)) |
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:'''STRONG SAD:''' You hush! I'm here to provide moral morale for the troops! | :'''STRONG SAD:''' You hush! I'm here to provide moral morale for the troops! | ||
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Well, I guess you DO make everyone else look leaner and meaner by comparison. | :'''STRONG BAD:''' Well, I guess you DO make everyone else look leaner and meaner by comparison. | ||
| + | |||
| + | ==Tony Stony== | ||
| + | :'''STRONG BAD:''' Tony Stony? What are you doing out here? Wouldn't you be more comfortable in the tight waistband of my inventory? ''{takes it out from the Model UN}'' | ||
==Model UN/Draft Wheel== | ==Model UN/Draft Wheel== | ||
| Line 55: | Line 58: | ||
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Oh, the lands will be united, all right. Under my iron fist! Err, my cotton-padded fist! My cot-TON padded fist. | :'''STRONG BAD:''' Oh, the lands will be united, all right. Under my iron fist! Err, my cotton-padded fist! My cot-TON padded fist. | ||
| - | ===Bleak House display=== | + | ====Bleak House display==== |
:'''STRONG BAD:''' All the greatest achievements of Strong Sad's country: twenty-sided dice and cunningly-designed dungeons. He gets beaten up at least five times a day, and it's STILL not enough. | :'''STRONG BAD:''' All the greatest achievements of Strong Sad's country: twenty-sided dice and cunningly-designed dungeons. He gets beaten up at least five times a day, and it's STILL not enough. | ||
| - | ===Empty display=== | + | ====Empty display==== |
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Some would say the Strong Badian display is "empty." I say it's "minimalist." | :'''STRONG BAD:''' Some would say the Strong Badian display is "empty." I say it's "minimalist." | ||
| - | ===Country display=== | + | ====Country display==== |
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Nothing in Strong Mad's display but some wadded-up paper and...the handle of a mug he tried to make in pottery class. | :'''STRONG BAD:''' Nothing in Strong Mad's display but some wadded-up paper and...the handle of a mug he tried to make in pottery class. | ||
| - | ===Coachnya display=== | + | ====Coachnya display==== |
:'''STRONG BAD:''' It's the display for Coachnya, and that means three things: Ointment, ointment and more ointment! | :'''STRONG BAD:''' It's the display for Coachnya, and that means three things: Ointment, ointment and more ointment! | ||
| - | ===Poopslavakia display=== | + | ====Poopslavakia display==== |
:'''STRONG BAD:''' A...contribution...from Poopslavakia. Yeah, I'm not going anywhere near that one. | :'''STRONG BAD:''' A...contribution...from Poopslavakia. Yeah, I'm not going anywhere near that one. | ||
| - | ===Consessionstan display=== | + | ====Consessionstan display==== |
:'''STRONG BAD:''' The display from Bubs' Consessionstantinople. Looks like a half-eaten chicken wing. | :'''STRONG BAD:''' The display from Bubs' Consessionstantinople. Looks like a half-eaten chicken wing. | ||
| - | ===Pompomerania display=== | + | ====Pompomerania display==== |
:'''STRONG BAD:''' From Pompomerania, a half-empty can of Bull Honkey Caffeinergy Sauce. | :'''STRONG BAD:''' From Pompomerania, a half-empty can of Bull Honkey Caffeinergy Sauce. | ||
| - | ===Homsar Reservation display=== | + | ====Homsar Reservation display==== |
:'''STRONG BAD:''' And from the Homsar people... a jar of cocktail onions wearing a top hat. | :'''STRONG BAD:''' And from the Homsar people... a jar of cocktail onions wearing a top hat. | ||
| - | == | + | ====Tony Stony → any display==== |
| - | :''' | + | :'''STRONG BAD:''' From the country of Country, a giant rock I've been impossibly keeping in my pants. ''{places Tony in the specified display}'' A ha, the balance of power has shifted! |
| + | :{{short hr}} | ||
| + | :'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{places Tony in the specified display}'' A ha, the balance of power has shifted! | ||
| + | ====Lighter → Model UN==== | ||
| + | :'''STRONG BAD:''' I would love to set that thing on fire, but I got a feeling I'm going to need it. | ||
| + | |||
| + | ===Draft Wheel=== | ||
| + | '''First time only''' | ||
| + | |||
| + | :'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' That's right, folks. ''{The model UN spins around to reveal a large spinning wheel and a sign labelled "Peace Draft" appears from above".}'' Once again it's time for the peace draft! Homestar, tell the crowd what fabulous prizes today's winner will walk home with! | ||
| + | |||
| + | ''{The view cuts over to a corner of the garden closer to the castle. Homestar has quickly shifted to this location.}}'' | ||
| + | |||
| + | :'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Well, Homestar, grand prize is an all-expenses-paid trip to the Castle and a meeting with the King of Town! | ||
| + | :'''MARZIPAN:''' ''{arrives back into the garden}'' Homestar, are you building an army without my permission? | ||
| + | :'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{now back in front of the spinning wheel}'' Nothing, Marzipan! Just my regular old brand of nothing! | ||
| + | :'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{hastily}'' Quick! Just spin the wheel! | ||
| + | :{{short hr}} | ||
| + | '''Each time thereafter''' | ||
| + | ''{The draft wheel sets itself up as Homestar speaks.}'' | ||
| + | |||
| + | :'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' And welcome back to Homezipan's Peacetime Draftstravaganza! Let's see who's today's lucky winner. | ||
| + | |||
| + | ====If the wheel selects anyone other than Coach Z==== | ||
| + | ''{The draft wheel spins around so that the Model UN faces the screen, and the Peace Draft sign is pulled back up.}'' | ||
| + | |||
| + | :'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Well, the draft didn't work, Strong Bad. Only one thing left to do: Clone an army of mutant super-soldiers. | ||
| + | :'''STRONG BAD:''' No, Homestar, we... ''{quickly taken by surprise}'' Wait. That was an option? How come you come up with the unbelievably cool ideas only AFTER I'm committed to this one? | ||
| + | :{{short hr}} | ||
| + | ''{The Model UN reforms.}'' | ||
| + | :'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' No go, Stro Bro. | ||
| + | :'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{disappointed}'' Ahhh. Keep trying. | ||
| + | |||
| + | ====Draft Wheel → Hank "the Tank" Benedetto==== | ||
| + | :'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Hank "the Tank" Benedetto? Man, these benedettos are really hoggin' the wheel. Sorry, Hank. We need you on the home front, keepin' the rations fresh. | ||
| + | |||
| + | ====Draft Wheel → Little Johnny Benedetto==== | ||
| + | :'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Nooo! Little Johnny Benedetto! You always wanted to be like your brother Frank. Well I'm not gonna let you DIE like Frank! The tragedy ends here! | ||
| + | |||
| + | ====Draft Wheel → Marty Benedetto==== | ||
| + | :'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Marty Benedetto. Fortunately, he's ineligible. He's been classified 4H. | ||
| + | |||
| + | ====Draft Wheel → Ramon Benedetto==== | ||
| + | :'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Ramon Benedetto? No more! I can't look into Mrs. Benedetto's eyes again and tell her her boy's not coming back home! | ||
| + | |||
| + | ====Draft Wheel → Tom Benedetto==== | ||
| + | :'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Tom Benedetto? Noooo! Hasn't that family suffered enough? | ||
| + | |||
| + | ====Draft Wheel → Li'l Brudder==== | ||
| + | :'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Li'l Brudder! ''{starts crying}'' Ohhhh, Li'l Brudder! Why? Why is the world so hard on all the little one-legged creatures? | ||
| + | :'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{as Li'l Brudder}'' Put me in the front lines, sarge! I'm gonna be a four-star general some day! | ||
| + | :'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{sobs}'' Nooooooo! Why did I even put that on the board? | ||
| + | |||
| + | ====Draft Wheel → Homestar Runner==== | ||
| + | :'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Homestar Runner! I believe the winner is right here in our studio? | ||
| + | |||
| + | ''{Change camera angle. Homestar's in the same place but his expression has changed.}'' | ||
| + | |||
| + | :'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{angrily}'' I can't make me serve, fascist! | ||
| + | |||
| + | ''{Camera angle is changed again, with Homestar's mood changing as well.}'' | ||
| + | |||
| + | :'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Uh oh, looks like we got us an artful draft dodger, ladies and gentlemen! | ||
| + | |||
| + | ''{Cue another change of camera angle and another change of expression.}'' | ||
| + | |||
| + | :'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{bitterly}'' No war! No war! What are all y'alls fightin' for? | ||
| + | |||
| + | ''{Cue another change of camera angle. Homestar retains his angry expression this time.}'' | ||
| + | |||
| + | :'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' WHAT is my major malfunction, private? | ||
| + | :'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{unamused}'' Homestar, you can't draft yourself. | ||
| + | :'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Really? I wish I'd known before I signed up for this chicken outfit. Never mind. Bwa-kawk! | ||
| + | |||
| + | ==Homestar Runner== | ||
| + | :'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey. Homestar. | ||
| + | :'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Another loybal subject of Homezipan! | ||
| + | :{{short hr}} | ||
| + | '''During extended play, after the Model UN is set on fire''' | ||
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hanging out in the back yard, knocking back a few Cold Ones in front of a roaring draft wheel. It doesn't get any better than this. | :'''STRONG BAD:''' Hanging out in the back yard, knocking back a few Cold Ones in front of a roaring draft wheel. It doesn't get any better than this. | ||
:'''HOMESTAR:''' You said it, bro. We are bros now, right? | :'''HOMESTAR:''' You said it, bro. We are bros now, right? | ||
:'''STRONG BAD:''' No. | :'''STRONG BAD:''' No. | ||
| + | |||
| + | |||
| + | ===Homestar Runner → Strong Badia=== | ||
| + | :'''STRONG BAD:''' You look like someone who wants to unwillingly join a growing Empire. | ||
| + | :'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' You're like some type mind-reader! Where do I sign? | ||
| + | :'''MARZIPAN:''' ''{glares at Homestar}'' Homestar... | ||
| + | :'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Oh. Right. ''{disappointed}'' I apologize, good ambassador, but my treaty signings and bathroom priviledges have been revoked. | ||
| + | :{{short hr}} | ||
| + | :'''STRONG BAD:''' Come on, Homestar. Strong Badia's where all the cool people are. | ||
| + | :'''HOMESTAR:''' ''{excited}'' Cool people are my favorite kind of people! They know all the latest fads! But... ''{disappointed}'' uh... we're happy with our independence. | ||
| + | |||
| + | ===Homestar Runner → Marzipan=== | ||
| + | :'''STRONG BAD:''' Are you gonna let some GIRL tell you how to run your country? I thought we were bros! | ||
| + | :'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Wait, I thought ''I'' thought we were bros, and you're always beating various stuffings out of me. | ||
| + | :'''STRONG BAD:''' I thought we were bros! | ||
| + | :'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Sorry man. I know it looks like I'm the brains of this outfit, but my lady friend's got a good head on her shoulders. | ||
| + | :'''STRONG BAD:''' Um... Nothing about that last thing you said was true. | ||
| + | :{{short hr}} | ||
| + | :'''STRONG BAD:''' I bet Marzipan would like it if you showed a little gumption and mae your ''own'' bad decisions. | ||
| + | :'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' I don't know about that, I'd better go ask her first. | ||
| + | '''STRONG BAD:''' ''{agitated}'' Groan. Never mind. | ||
| + | |||
| + | ===Homestar Runner → No King of Town=== | ||
| + | :'''STRONG BAD:''' Aren't you tired of that The Of Town cramping your style? | ||
| + | :'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{annoyed}'' Oh, you got THAT right! I don't like the way his castle sits up there, undressing me with its eyes. | ||
| + | :'''STRONG BAD:''' What're you gonna do when they INVADE? | ||
| + | :'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{shocked}'' Invade Homezipan? Call the militia! This is not a drill, people! | ||
| + | :'''STRONG BAD:''' Do you even HAVE a militia? | ||
| + | :'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Holy crap, we're defeneseless! ''{stubbornly}'' That settles it: I'm getting the band back together! I'm bringing back the Homestarmy! | ||
| + | :'''MARZIPAN:''' ''{annoyed}'' What was that? | ||
| + | :'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{gently}'' Uh... I said I'm bringing back the Peaceful Homezipan Gentle Flower-Planting Brigade, dear. | ||
| + | |||
| + | ===Homestar Runner → Homestarmy=== | ||
| + | :'''STRONG BAD:''' What do you need for the Homestarmy, to help me take on The Of Town? | ||
| + | :'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{stubbornly}'' We're gonna need soldiers! Lots o' soldiers. Ol' Tofu-and-Sprouts over there abolished the draft. And we lost too many god men in the last war. | ||
| + | :'''STRONG BAD:''' How many soldiers is "lots o'" soldiers? | ||
| + | :'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Exactly five. | ||
| + | :'''STRONG BAD:''' How did you know you- | ||
| + | :'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{interrupts}'' A colonel ''{pronounced exactly as it's written}'' knows these things. | ||
| + | :{{short hr}} | ||
| + | :'''STRONG BAD:''' NOW do you have enough soldiers for the Homestarmy? | ||
| + | :'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' That's a negatory. The peace draft is our only hope. I'm pository about that! | ||
| + | |||
| + | ===Homestar Runner → Draft Wheel=== | ||
| + | :'''STRONG BAD:''' Why don't you re-instate the draft? | ||
| + | :'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' That's a great idea! | ||
| + | :{{short hr}} | ||
| + | :'''STRONG BAD:''' You should run that draft again, before it's too late. | ||
| + | :'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{worried}'' We may already BE too late! | ||
| + | :{{short hr}} | ||
| + | :'''STRONG BAD:''' Run the draft again. | ||
| + | :'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Okay! | ||
| + | |||
| + | ''{The Draft Wheel gets used after any of these above responses.}'' | ||
| + | |||
| + | :'''After Draft Wheel is on fire.''' | ||
==Marzipan== | ==Marzipan== | ||
Revision as of 18:58, 6 October 2008
Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People has many responses when you talk to various characters and interact with various objects. These are the responses from Marzistar/Homezipan in Strong Badia the Free.
On these pages, A → B (right arrow) means that the response happens when object A is used on thing B, or in the case of talking to other characters, the indicated sequence of chat topic icons are chosen.
A short horizontal line between two or more responses, such as the one above, means only one of the responses is heard at a time, and that the action results in a different response each time it occurs.
When arriving for the first time
{Cue fade in as Strong Bad walks into Marzipan's back yard.}
- MARZIPAN: Come on in... we're so glad that you made it this fa... {becomes hostile} Oh, it's just Strong Bad.
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: Do you have any fruit to declare?
- STRONG BAD: What brand of idiocy have I stumbled upon here?
- MARZIPAN: This is the Free People's Republic of Marzistar. A hostile territory.
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: Welcome to Homezipan!
- MARZIPAN: {turns towards Homestar} Homestar, we've talked about this. It's Marzistar.
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: No, seriously. Do you have any fruit to declare?
Homsar
- STRONG BAD: Are you gonna keep a cool head in battle, Homsar?
- HOMSAR: Daaahh, I'll take the last bus to the bake sale!
- STRONG BAD: That'll work too.
Mailbox
- STRONG BAD: I wonder if Marzipan ever got that stink bomb I sent to... {searches mailbox} ...ooh even better! Page 2 of my Algebros instruction manual! This one details the icy-hot "Polar Coordinates Attack" move.
- STRONG BAD: {checks mailbox} No mail for Marzistar.
Memorial
- STRONG BAD: "Frank Benedetto. Fell in service to his country during the first battle of Strong Badia." {turns to the camera} Even though we were on different sides of that conflict, that soldier had real butter. {almost chokes} Gotta respect that.
Onion Patch
- STRONG BAD: This land looks bountiful, but if onions are Marzistar's only crop, I'm not signing up to be their Breath Smell Ambassador.
- STRONG BAD: Once Strong Badia takes over, these onions will be cleverly chopped and deep fried into the shape of blossoming flowers!
Pom Pom
- STRONG BAD: Got any cool combo moves you could teach the troops, Pom Pom?
- POM POM: {bubbles conversationally}
- STRONG BAD: {shocked} The 12-point exploding rooster technique? That's probably overkill for the Of Town. I just wanna underkill him.
Strong Mad
- STRONG BAD: Ah, good ol' Lugnut and Squeak, reunited under the flag of Strong Badia.
- STRONG MAD: {hugs The Cheat harshly} I MISSED YOU SO!
- THE CHEAT: {struggling to breathe} Mzzzzmmmememmmemeehhhh...
Strong Sad
- STRONG BAD: So, Dump-tenant. Ready to be the battle's first casualty?
- STRONG SAD: You hush! I'm here to provide moral morale for the troops!
- STRONG BAD: Well, I guess you DO make everyone else look leaner and meaner by comparison.
Tony Stony
- STRONG BAD: Tony Stony? What are you doing out here? Wouldn't you be more comfortable in the tight waistband of my inventory? {takes it out from the Model UN}
Model UN/Draft Wheel
Model UN
- STRONG BAD: It's Marzi-pain's folky (i.e. crappily made) arts and crafts display.
- STRONG BAD: Oh, the lands will be united, all right. Under my iron fist! Err, my cotton-padded fist! My cot-TON padded fist.
Bleak House display
- STRONG BAD: All the greatest achievements of Strong Sad's country: twenty-sided dice and cunningly-designed dungeons. He gets beaten up at least five times a day, and it's STILL not enough.
Empty display
- STRONG BAD: Some would say the Strong Badian display is "empty." I say it's "minimalist."
Country display
- STRONG BAD: Nothing in Strong Mad's display but some wadded-up paper and...the handle of a mug he tried to make in pottery class.
Coachnya display
- STRONG BAD: It's the display for Coachnya, and that means three things: Ointment, ointment and more ointment!
Poopslavakia display
- STRONG BAD: A...contribution...from Poopslavakia. Yeah, I'm not going anywhere near that one.
Consessionstan display
- STRONG BAD: The display from Bubs' Consessionstantinople. Looks like a half-eaten chicken wing.
Pompomerania display
- STRONG BAD: From Pompomerania, a half-empty can of Bull Honkey Caffeinergy Sauce.
Homsar Reservation display
- STRONG BAD: And from the Homsar people... a jar of cocktail onions wearing a top hat.
Tony Stony → any display
- STRONG BAD: From the country of Country, a giant rock I've been impossibly keeping in my pants. {places Tony in the specified display} A ha, the balance of power has shifted!
- STRONG BAD: {places Tony in the specified display} A ha, the balance of power has shifted!
Lighter → Model UN
- STRONG BAD: I would love to set that thing on fire, but I got a feeling I'm going to need it.
Draft Wheel
First time only
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: That's right, folks. {The model UN spins around to reveal a large spinning wheel and a sign labelled "Peace Draft" appears from above".} Once again it's time for the peace draft! Homestar, tell the crowd what fabulous prizes today's winner will walk home with!
{The view cuts over to a corner of the garden closer to the castle. Homestar has quickly shifted to this location.}}
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: Well, Homestar, grand prize is an all-expenses-paid trip to the Castle and a meeting with the King of Town!
- MARZIPAN: {arrives back into the garden} Homestar, are you building an army without my permission?
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: {now back in front of the spinning wheel} Nothing, Marzipan! Just my regular old brand of nothing!
- STRONG BAD: {hastily} Quick! Just spin the wheel!
Each time thereafter {The draft wheel sets itself up as Homestar speaks.}
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: And welcome back to Homezipan's Peacetime Draftstravaganza! Let's see who's today's lucky winner.
If the wheel selects anyone other than Coach Z
{The draft wheel spins around so that the Model UN faces the screen, and the Peace Draft sign is pulled back up.}
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: Well, the draft didn't work, Strong Bad. Only one thing left to do: Clone an army of mutant super-soldiers.
- STRONG BAD: No, Homestar, we... {quickly taken by surprise} Wait. That was an option? How come you come up with the unbelievably cool ideas only AFTER I'm committed to this one?
{The Model UN reforms.}
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: No go, Stro Bro.
- STRONG BAD: {disappointed} Ahhh. Keep trying.
Draft Wheel → Hank "the Tank" Benedetto
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: Hank "the Tank" Benedetto? Man, these benedettos are really hoggin' the wheel. Sorry, Hank. We need you on the home front, keepin' the rations fresh.
Draft Wheel → Little Johnny Benedetto
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: Nooo! Little Johnny Benedetto! You always wanted to be like your brother Frank. Well I'm not gonna let you DIE like Frank! The tragedy ends here!
Draft Wheel → Marty Benedetto
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: Marty Benedetto. Fortunately, he's ineligible. He's been classified 4H.
Draft Wheel → Ramon Benedetto
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: Ramon Benedetto? No more! I can't look into Mrs. Benedetto's eyes again and tell her her boy's not coming back home!
Draft Wheel → Tom Benedetto
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: Tom Benedetto? Noooo! Hasn't that family suffered enough?
Draft Wheel → Li'l Brudder
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: Li'l Brudder! {starts crying} Ohhhh, Li'l Brudder! Why? Why is the world so hard on all the little one-legged creatures?
- STRONG BAD: {as Li'l Brudder} Put me in the front lines, sarge! I'm gonna be a four-star general some day!
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: {sobs} Nooooooo! Why did I even put that on the board?
Draft Wheel → Homestar Runner
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: Homestar Runner! I believe the winner is right here in our studio?
{Change camera angle. Homestar's in the same place but his expression has changed.}
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: {angrily} I can't make me serve, fascist!
{Camera angle is changed again, with Homestar's mood changing as well.}
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: Uh oh, looks like we got us an artful draft dodger, ladies and gentlemen!
{Cue another change of camera angle and another change of expression.}
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: {bitterly} No war! No war! What are all y'alls fightin' for?
{Cue another change of camera angle. Homestar retains his angry expression this time.}
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: WHAT is my major malfunction, private?
- STRONG BAD: {unamused} Homestar, you can't draft yourself.
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: Really? I wish I'd known before I signed up for this chicken outfit. Never mind. Bwa-kawk!
Homestar Runner
- STRONG BAD: Hey. Homestar.
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: Another loybal subject of Homezipan!
During extended play, after the Model UN is set on fire
- STRONG BAD: Hanging out in the back yard, knocking back a few Cold Ones in front of a roaring draft wheel. It doesn't get any better than this.
- HOMESTAR: You said it, bro. We are bros now, right?
- STRONG BAD: No.
Homestar Runner → Strong Badia
- STRONG BAD: You look like someone who wants to unwillingly join a growing Empire.
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: You're like some type mind-reader! Where do I sign?
- MARZIPAN: {glares at Homestar} Homestar...
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh. Right. {disappointed} I apologize, good ambassador, but my treaty signings and bathroom priviledges have been revoked.
- STRONG BAD: Come on, Homestar. Strong Badia's where all the cool people are.
- HOMESTAR: {excited} Cool people are my favorite kind of people! They know all the latest fads! But... {disappointed} uh... we're happy with our independence.
Homestar Runner → Marzipan
- STRONG BAD: Are you gonna let some GIRL tell you how to run your country? I thought we were bros!
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: Wait, I thought I thought we were bros, and you're always beating various stuffings out of me.
- STRONG BAD: I thought we were bros!
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: Sorry man. I know it looks like I'm the brains of this outfit, but my lady friend's got a good head on her shoulders.
- STRONG BAD: Um... Nothing about that last thing you said was true.
- STRONG BAD: I bet Marzipan would like it if you showed a little gumption and mae your own bad decisions.
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: I don't know about that, I'd better go ask her first.
STRONG BAD: {agitated} Groan. Never mind.
Homestar Runner → No King of Town
- STRONG BAD: Aren't you tired of that The Of Town cramping your style?
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: {annoyed} Oh, you got THAT right! I don't like the way his castle sits up there, undressing me with its eyes.
- STRONG BAD: What're you gonna do when they INVADE?
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: {shocked} Invade Homezipan? Call the militia! This is not a drill, people!
- STRONG BAD: Do you even HAVE a militia?
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: Holy crap, we're defeneseless! {stubbornly} That settles it: I'm getting the band back together! I'm bringing back the Homestarmy!
- MARZIPAN: {annoyed} What was that?
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: {gently} Uh... I said I'm bringing back the Peaceful Homezipan Gentle Flower-Planting Brigade, dear.
Homestar Runner → Homestarmy
- STRONG BAD: What do you need for the Homestarmy, to help me take on The Of Town?
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: {stubbornly} We're gonna need soldiers! Lots o' soldiers. Ol' Tofu-and-Sprouts over there abolished the draft. And we lost too many god men in the last war.
- STRONG BAD: How many soldiers is "lots o'" soldiers?
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: Exactly five.
- STRONG BAD: How did you know you-
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: {interrupts} A colonel {pronounced exactly as it's written} knows these things.
- STRONG BAD: NOW do you have enough soldiers for the Homestarmy?
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: That's a negatory. The peace draft is our only hope. I'm pository about that!
Homestar Runner → Draft Wheel
- STRONG BAD: Why don't you re-instate the draft?
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: That's a great idea!
- STRONG BAD: You should run that draft again, before it's too late.
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: {worried} We may already BE too late!
- STRONG BAD: Run the draft again.
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: Okay!
{The Draft Wheel gets used after any of these above responses.}
- After Draft Wheel is on fire.
Marzipan
- STRONG BAD: Hola, Marzip0wned {pronounced Marzi-puh-owned}. Or however you pronounce that.
- MARZIPAN: What is it, Strong Bad? I've got an awful lot of queening to do.
- STRONG BAD: You and Strong Sad both.
Marzipan → Strong Badia
- STRONG BAD: I want you two to join the Strong Badian Empire. And by "want", I mean "not want", but I can already tell I'm not getting through this place until you guys join up.
- MARZIPAN: No way, Pinochet. Marzistar is a peaceful nation.
- STRONG BAD: Aw come on. {in a seducive voice tone} No nation can resist the roguish charm of Strong Badia's most charming rogue.
- MARZIPAN: Ewww, gross. Marzistar is doing just fine, thanks. We're not trying to take over the world, just make it better.
Marzipan → No King of Town
- STRONG BAD: You don't like The Of Town! I heard you say so! Don't you need protection, with his castle looming overhead so ominously?
- MARZIPAN: We've got a peace treaty with the Municipality. And that means one thing: You will never pass through Marzistar to attack the King of Town!
- STRONG BAD: Don't come cryin' to Strong Badia when The Of Town sends in the Poops...
- MARZIPAN: It's like I already told you, Strong Bad: You will never pass through Marzistar to attack the King of Town!
Marzipan → Homestar Runner
- STRONG BAD: I bet King Homestar really wants to join Strong Badia and take on the castle...
- MARZIPAN: Yeah, but in about five minutes, King Homestar could really want to join an All-Squirrel Football League.
- STRONG BAD: You do have a point there.
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: Put me in, coach! We can BEAT those chipmunks!
- STRONG BAD: What if Homestar MADE you join Strong Badia?
- MARZIPAN: Homestar can't MAKE this country do anything. We're completely equal co-rulers of Marzistar. And what I say goes.
- STRONG BAD: As King, can't Homestar have you beheaded or be-whatever-that-thing-is-ded?
- MARZIPAN: {hostile} He's lucky I don't have HIM executed, the way he invites all his friends over and crashes up the place. {quickly becomes calm} I mean... we have had some disagreements on domestic and foreign policy.
Marzipan → Model UN
- STRONG BAD: What's with the crappy science fair project?
- MARZIPAN: That's my model United Nations! It's a testament to peace, equality, and sharing between all nations of the world. Even yours.
- STRONG BAD: {disgusted} Equality and sharing? Barf! That sounds vaguely... communistic.
- MARZIPAN: {happily} Thanks! I know! I'm collecting treasures from all the developed countries, plus Coachnya, to go in the displays. All to say: "This is what we can do when we work together."
- STRONG BAD: I think I might want to break or break wind on your so-called "united nations".
- MARZIPAN: Well... you can put a national treasure in the Strong Badian display, if you want. Just don't touch the others.
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