isp

From Homestar Runner Wiki

Revision as of 15:24, 16 May 2006

"Ma'am, please calm down. Your CD tray is not a cup holder."

Gary from the UK asks about Strong Bad's ISP.

Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad, Homestar Runner, Bubs, Strong Mad

Places: Computer Room, The Office, The Field, Bubs' Concession Stand, The Garage

Computer: Lappy 486

Date: May 16, 2006

Running Time: 3:23

Page Title: Lappy 486

Transcript

STRONG BAD: {singing}A badaladoo, it's time for email, bra-doop-ba-dabadoo.

subject: ISP

Dear Strong Bad,
Since you answer emails, you must have some sort of internet, right? What kind of internet to you guys get in Strong Badia? Who runs it? Is it expensive?
Your bestest buddy in the whole wide world,
Gary, UK

{Strong Bad says "Not even close," very quickly after "Your bestest buddy in the whole wide world," and says "UK" as, "You 'kay?"}

STRONG BAD: {typing} Yeah I'm fine, Gary. Calm down. Of course I've got the internet. How else could I download this awesome animated gif/gif of a cute breakdancing rodent. {Pronounces "gif/gif" as /gif/, /jif}

{A progress bar pops up with a ding that says "11% Complete" with "Less than a fortnight remaining" below}

STRONG BAD: {typing} WHAT??!! Eleven percent? I started downloading this thing like two days ago! Oh that's IT!! Hold on to your fat, sweaty D&D playing headsets, tech support. 'Cuz Strong Bad's about to Do-Sum-Bow-Dis!

{The camera rotates around the Lappy to a rear view as Strong Bad picks up the telephone. There is a phone ringing sound and the screen is split by a phone cord with Homestar Runner in the office on the left and Strong Bad on the right. On Homestar's cubicle wall there is a Post-It Note that reads "Note to self: Chew more." Homestar wears a headset.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Thank you for calling the internet, may I have your account number or identity theft, please?

STRONG BAD: No, but you can have a heapin' helpin' of my unbridled rage!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {reading slowly from a sheet of paper} Ma'am, please calm down. Your CD tray is not a cup holder. {turns page} I cannot help you clear your browser cache. No, I'm not in India. {puts paper down}

STRONG BAD: Shut up and listen. {bangs hand on keyboard} My internet is crawling along like... something... funny... that crawls along.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: All right, I can help you with that. Please hold while I transfer you to someone who can help you with that.

STRONG BAD: {incredulous} What?!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {singing} Doo doot. Do doo doot. Do doo doot. {cut to a long shot of the office as Homestar stands up} It's the hold music, do doot. Pa doo doot. Doodoo doo doot. Hold music. {cut back to the splitscreen as Homestar sits down} Thank you for holding. Your call is very unportant to us. The next available representative wi—okay I'm back! Lemme just verify your address so I can send you my weight in free sign up CDs.

STRONG BAD: Ugh, enough! {bangs hand against keyboard again} I'm marching my pasty white boittom down there to talk to the man in charge! {Strong Bad slams the phone down and walks offscreen during Homestar's next line. Chairscoot is heard.}}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: I'm so glad we could get that resolved. Is there anything else I could—

{cut to Strong Bad marching across The Field at dusk as march music plays in the background. Strong Bad ends up at Bubs' Concession Stand.}

BUBS: {as the camera zooms in} Well if it isn't my lone internet customer. How's e-business? {cut to Strong Bad from inside the concession stand}

STRONG BAD: Now listen here, old man Bubs! What's the big idea of throttling me down?!

BUBS: Throttling you down?! That's not one of the 99 ways I rip you off!

STRONG BAD: Well, back in the day I used to connect 1200 baud, but ever since the merger I'm lucky if I get 12 baud.

BUBS: Hmm. {cut back to Bubs} Let's head down to the datum center and see what we can find.

STRONG BAD: Thatum sounds good.

{cut to the garage which is currently housing several computers with Bubs' face on them and is sporting a sign labelled, "Datum Center"}

BUBS: {indicating the computers} So this is where the magic happens. I wonder where the trouble could be.

STRONG BAD: {sarcastically} Yeah, I wonder. {camera pulls back to reveal a computer with a garden hose sticking out of it and smoke issuing from the back} It's probably not this computer with the garden hose coming out of it.

BUBS: Hey! Somebody's suckin' up all my bandwidth!

{cut to a hole in the wall with the garden hose running through, then outside to Strong Mad sucking on the end of the hose. Strong Bad and Bubs walk up}}

STRONG BAD: Strong Mad! {Startled, Strong Mad takes the hose out of his mouth.}

STRONG MAD: {in a high-pitched voice} I'm a website!

{cut to Strong Bad and Bubs as they both start laughing. The laughter gets more and more hysterical until it reaches a psychotic peak. At that point we cut back to the Lappy as the progress bar fills up. The Lappy's screen shows an animated gif of a rat dancing to 1-bit music. The rat is replaced by yellow text that says "NOT REALLY BREAK DANCING" and The Paper comes down.}

Easter Eggs

CD Runner

• After Homestar Runner comes back from the hold music and asks for Strong Bad's address, click on the post-it note that reads "note to self: chew more" to see a picture of Homestar's weight in free sign-up CDs.
• At the end of the email, click on the "O" in "Not Really Break Dancing" to see a collection of Free Sign-up CDs in the shape of Homestar running played backed by music similar to the Theme Song Video.

Fun Facts

Explanations

• Baud is measure of the symbol rate made to the transmission medium per second in a digitally modulated signal, however Strong Bad makes a common mistake by confusing it with "bits per second"
• Datum is the singular form of the word data.
• A Fortnight is a period of two weeks.

Trivia

• This is the first time Bubs has been seen laughing.

Remarks

• It is unclear how Strong Bad is connected to the Internet - there does not appear to be a network cable plugged in to the back of the Lappy, and it is unlikely that the computer has a wireless connection.
• The GIF file format does not support any form of sound on its own. The animation that Strong Bad downloaded is either not a true animated GIF, or it is embedded in a webpage that also contains embedded sound.
• When Homestar says the word "internet" after he first answers Strong Bad's call, he speaks without his trademark speech impediment.
• If it took two days for the download to reach 11% completion, assuming the download speed doesn't change, it would actually take 16 days to finish download, not less than a fortnight as the Lappy suggested.

Inside References

• Strong Mad's voice's becoming altered by helium (or in this case, bandwidth) is from helium. In that e-mail, he was unsuccessful.
• Strong Bad's being unsure of the pronounciation of "gif" (hard "g" or soft) is a reference to website.
• The garage is the same one as from 12:00 and your friends.
• We first saw a pumping hose in lunch special.
• The office Homestar is in is the exact same one as from dullard, Senor Mortgage, other days and the Biz Cas Fri series.
• The easter egg at the end refers to Bug In Mouth Disease, which in turns refers to Theme Song Video, minus the singing.
• Strong Bad using an animated Gif involving a rodent was first seen in website.

Real World References

• D&D stands for Dungeons & Dragons, a popular Pen and Paper Role-playing game that, like working in tech support, is often associated with "geek culture".
• "Your CD tray is not a cup holder" is a reference to a common tech support urban legend that users unfamiliar with computers have confused the CD disk tray with a cup holder.
• When Homestar says "No, I'm not in India," he is refering to the Outsourcing of Western tech-support labor to Eastern countries like India.
• The exorbitant amount of "free sign-up CDs" is a reference to the ISP America Online, who are notorious for aggressively marketing their services with free-trial CDs through mass mailings, newspaper and magazine inserts, and in-store displays.

External Links

• watch "isp"
• watch "isp" on the old Flash site
• view the Flash file for "isp"
• forum thread re: "isp"