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<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?>
<transcript xml:lang="en-us" file="sbemail152.swf" width="550" height="400">
<line start="17" end="72"><strongbad>A badaly-doo, it's time for email, bra-doop-da-dabadoo.</strongbad></line>
<line start="72" end="85" speaker="strongbad">"Dear Strong Bad,"</line>
<line start="85" end="129" speaker="strongbad">"Since you answer emails, you must have some sort of internet, right?"</line>
<line start="129" end="163" speaker="strongbad">"What kind of internet do you guys get in Strong Badia?"</line>
<line start="163" end="175" speaker="strongbad">"Who runs it?"</line>
<line start="175" end="195" speaker="strongbad">"Is it expensive?"</line>
<line start="195" end="223" speaker="strongbad">"Your bestest buddy in the whole wide world,"</line>
<line start="223" end="235" speaker="strongbad" volume="0.8">Not even close,</line>
<line start="235" end="261" speaker="strongbad">"Gary, You kay?"</line>
<line start="261" end="297" speaker="strongbad">Yeah, I'm fine, Gary. Calm down.</line>
<line start="297" end="314" speaker="strongbad">Of course I've got the internet.</line>
<line start="314" end="354" speaker="strongbad">How else could I download this awesome animated gif jif</line>
<line start="354" end="382" speaker="strongbad">of a cute breakdancing rodent?</line>
<line start="382" end="394" sfx="yes">ding</line>
<line start="394" end="429" speaker="strongbad">What??!! Eleven percent?</line>
<line start="429" end="466" speaker="strongbad">I started downloading this thing like two days ago! </line>
<line start="466" end="485" speaker="strongbad">Oh, that's <strong>it</strong>!!</line>
<line start="485" end="534" speaker="strongbad">Hold on to your fat, sweaty D&D playing headsets, tech support.</line>
<line start="534" end="578" speaker="strongbad">'Cuz Strong Bad's about to Do-Sum-Bow-Dis!</line>
<line start="578" end="589" sfx="yes">swoosh</line>
<line start="589" end="600" sfx="yes">phone ringing</line>
<line start="600" end="607" sfx="yes">swoosh</line>
<line start="607" end="623" speaker="homestar">Thank you for calling the internet,</line>
<line start="623" end="660" speaker="homestar">may I have your account number or identity theft, please?</line>
<line start="660" end="710" speaker="strongbad">No, but you can have a heapin' helpin' of my unbridled rage!</line>
<line start="710" end="774" speaker="homestar">Ma'am, please calm down. Your CD tray is not a cup holder.</line>
<line start="774" end="839" speaker="homestar">I cannot help you clear your browser cache. No, I'm not in India.</line>
<line start="839" end="890" speaker="strongbad">Shut up and listen.  My internet is crawling along like...</line>
<line start="890" end="906" speaker="strongbad">something... <span style="visibility: hidden">funny... that crawls along.</span></line>
<line start="906" end="918" speaker="strongbad">something... funny... <span style="visibility: hidden">that crawls along.</span></line>
<line start="918" end="939" speaker="strongbad">something... funny... that crawls along.</line>
<line start="939" end="967" speaker="homestar">All right, I can help you with that.</line>
<line start="967" end="1010" speaker="homestar">Please hold while I transfer you to someone who can help you with that.</line>
<line start="1010" end="1020" speaker="strongbad">What?!</line>
<line start="1020" end="1026"><homestar><i>(singing)</i> Doo doot. <span style="visibility: hidden">Tch.</span></homestar></line>
<line start="1026" end="1031"><homestar><i>(singing)</i> Doo doot. Tch.</homestar></line>
<line start="1031" end="1042"><homestar><i>(singing)</i> Doo doo dit. <span style="visibility: hidden">Tch.</span></homestar></line>
<line start="1042" end="1046"><homestar><i>(singing)</i> Doo doo dit. Tch.</homestar></line>
<line start="1046" end="1053"><homestar><i>(singing)</i> Doot doo doot. <span style="visibility: hidden">Tch.</span></homestar></line>
<line start="1054" end="1059"><homestar><i>(singing)</i> Doot doo doot. Tch.</homestar></line>
<line start="1059" end="1076"><homestar><i>(singing)</i> It's the hold music, </homestar></line>
<line start="1076" end="1083"><homestar><i>(singing)</i> do doot. <span style="visibility: hidden">Tch.</span></homestar></line>
<line start="1083" end="1087"><homestar><i>(singing)</i> do doot. Tch.</homestar></line>
<line start="1087" end="1098"><homestar><i>(singing)</i> Pa doo doot. <span style="visibility: hidden">Tch.</span></homestar></line>
<line start="1098" end="1101"><homestar><i>(singing)</i> Pa doo doot. Tch.</homestar></line>
<line start="1101" end="1110"><homestar><i>(singing)</i> Boodoo doo doot. <span style="visibility: hidden">Tch.</span></homestar></line>
<line start="1110" end="1114"><homestar><i>(singing)</i> Boodoo doo doot. Tch.</homestar></line>
<line start="1114" end="1137"><homestar><i>(singing)</i> Hold music!</homestar></line>
<line start="1138" end="1193" speaker="homestar" volume="0.9">Thank you for holding. Your call is very unportant to us.</line>
<line start="1193" end="1216" speaker="homestar" volume="0.9">The next available representative wi-</line>
<line start="1216" end="1229" speaker="homestar">okay, I'm back!</line>
<line start="1229" end="1292" speaker="homestar">Lemme just verify your address so I can send you my weight in free sign-up CDs.</line>
<line start="1292" end="1308" speaker="strongbad">Ugh, enough!</line>
<line start="1308" end="1355" speaker="strongbad">I'm marching my pasty white bwathom down there to talk to the man in charge!</line>
<line start="1355" end="1361" sfx="yes">geddup noise</line>
<line start="1361" end="1410" speaker="homestar">I'm so glad we could get that resolved. Is there anything else I can</line>
<line start="1411" end="1530" sfx="yes">march music</line>
<line start="1531" end="1592" speaker="bubs">Well if it isn't my lone internet customer. How's e-business?</line>
<line start="1593" end="1642" speaker="strongbad">Now listen here, old man Bubs! What's the big idea of throttling me down?!</line>
<line start="1643" end="1702" speaker="bubs">Throttling you down?! That's not one of the ninety-nine ways I rip you off!</line>
<line start="1703" end="1753" speaker="strongbad">Well, back in the day I used to connect at twelve-hundred baud,</line>
<line start="1753" end="1804" speaker="strongbad">but ever since the <em>merger</em>, I'm lucky if I get twelve baud!</line>
<line start="1804" end="1817" speaker="bubs">Hmm...</line>
<line start="1818" end="1861" speaker="bubs">Let's head down to the Datum Center and see what we can find.</line>
<line start="1861" end="1883" speaker="strongbad">Dat'um sounds good.</line>
<line start="1884" end="1905" sfx="yes">march music</line>
<line start="1906" end="1960" speaker="bubs">So this is where the magic happens. I wonder where the trouble could be.</line>
<line start="1960" end="1985" speaker="strongbad">Yeah, I wonder.</line>
<line start="1985" end="2036" speaker="strongbad">It's probably not this computer with the garden hose coming out of it.</line>
<line start="2037" end="2088" speaker="bubs">Hey! Somebody's suckin' up all my bandwidth!</line>
<line start="2088" end="2110" sfx="yes">sucking noise</line>
<line start="2111" end="2123" speaker="strongbad">Strong Mad!</line>
<line start="2124" end="2134" sfx="yes">boing</line>
<line start="2135" end="2177"><strongmad><i>(high pitched voice)</i> I'M A WEBSITE!</strongmad></line>
<line start="2178" end="2194" speaker="strongbad" sfx="yes">laughter</line>
<line start="2195" end="2217"><strongbad sfx="yes">laughter</strongbad><bubs sfx="yes">laughter</bubs></line>
<line start="2218" end="2225"><strongbad volume="1.2" sfx="yes">laughter</strongbad><bubs sfx="yes">laughter</bubs></line>
<line start="2226" end="2234"><strongbad sfx="yes" volume="1.2">laughter</strongbad><bubs sfx="yes">laughter</bubs><strongmad sfx="yes">regular laughter</strongmad></line>
<line start="2235" end="2249"><strongbad sfx="yes" volume="1.4">laughter</strongbad><bubs sfx="yes">laughter</bubs><strongmad sfx="yes">regular laughter</strongmad></line>
<line start="2250" end="2262"><strongbad sfx="yes" volume="1.6">laughter</strongbad><bubs sfx="yes">laughter</bubs><strongmad sfx="yes">regular laughter</strongmad></line>
<line start="2263" end="2271"><strongbad sfx="yes" volume="1.8">laughter</strongbad></line>
<line start="2277" end="2293" sfx="yes">ding</line>
<line start="2298" end="2430" sfx="yes">monophonic music</line>
<line start="2439" end="2453" speaker="thepaper">Preeeeow!</line>
<!-- easter egg -->
<line start="2460" end="2539" sfx="yes">Homestar Runner theme music</line>
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