Strong Badia the Free Responses (Marzistar)

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(→Homestar Runner → Homestarmy: I'm pretty sure Free Country USA is devoid of god men (no matter what Strong Bad tells ya))
 
(includes 15 intermediate revisions)
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{{SBCG4AP Responses notation legend}}
{{SBCG4AP Responses notation legend}}
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==When arriving for the first time==
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==Marzistar==
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+
===On first arrival===
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''{Cue fade in as Strong Bad walks into Marzipan's back yard.}''
+
 +
:''{Cue fade in as Strong Bad walks into Marzipan's back yard.}''
:'''MARZIPAN:''' Come on in... we're so glad that you made it this fa... ''{becomes hostile}'' Oh, it's just Strong Bad.
:'''MARZIPAN:''' Come on in... we're so glad that you made it this fa... ''{becomes hostile}'' Oh, it's just Strong Bad.
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Do you have any fruit to declare?
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Do you have any fruit to declare?
Line 17: Line 17:
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' No, seriously. Do you have any fruit to declare?
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' No, seriously. Do you have any fruit to declare?
-
==Coach Z==
+
===Coach Z===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Are you ready to put your life on the line for Strong Badia?
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Are you ready to put your life on the line for Strong Badia?
:'''COACH Z:''' Put my life on the line? I thought this was the ROTC!
:'''COACH Z:''' Put my life on the line? I thought this was the ROTC!
Line 28: Line 28:
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Ready to take on the Of Town, private?
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Ready to take on the Of Town, private?
:'''COACH Z:''' Private, public, I like all kinds of restrooms.
:'''COACH Z:''' Private, public, I like all kinds of restrooms.
-
:{{short hr}}
 
'''During extended play'''
'''During extended play'''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' The war's over, Coach Z. You can go back home now.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' The war's over, Coach Z. You can go back home now.
Line 34: Line 33:
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{wittingly}'' Congratulations, Coach. I just spent the last few hours carrying my brother's internal organs in a jar, and you still managed to top that on the creepy scale.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{wittingly}'' Congratulations, Coach. I just spent the last few hours carrying my brother's internal organs in a jar, and you still managed to top that on the creepy scale.
-
==Homsar==
+
====Fake Sword → Coach Z====
 +
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I dub thee... Coach Zed, Lord High Protector of Butt-Pattery.
 +
 
 +
===Homsar===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Are you gonna keep a cool head in battle, Homsar?
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Are you gonna keep a cool head in battle, Homsar?
:'''HOMSAR:''' Daaahh, I'll take the last bus to the bake sale!
:'''HOMSAR:''' Daaahh, I'll take the last bus to the bake sale!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' That'll work too.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' That'll work too.
-
==Mailbox==
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===Mailbox===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I wonder if Marzipan ever got that stink bomb I sent to... ''{searches mailbox}'' ...ooh even better! Page 2 of my Algebros instruction manual! This one details the icy-hot "Polar Coordinates Attack" move.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I wonder if Marzipan ever got that stink bomb I sent to... ''{searches mailbox}'' ...ooh even better! Page 2 of my Algebros instruction manual! This one details the icy-hot "Polar Coordinates Attack" move.
:{{short hr}}
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{checks mailbox}'' No mail for Marzistar.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{checks mailbox}'' No mail for Marzistar.
-
==Memorial==
+
===Memorial===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' "Frank Benedetto. Fell in service to his country during the first battle of Strong Badia." ''{turns to the camera}'' Even though we were on different sides of that conflict, that soldier had real butter. ''{almost chokes}'' Gotta respect that.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' "Frank Benedetto. Fell in service to his country during the first battle of Strong Badia." ''{turns to the camera}'' Even though we were on different sides of that conflict, that soldier had real butter. ''{almost chokes}'' Gotta respect that.
:{{short hr}}
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' "Frank Benedetto. Fell in service to his country during the first battle of Strong Badia."
:'''STRONG BAD:''' "Frank Benedetto. Fell in service to his country during the first battle of Strong Badia."
-
==Onion Patch==
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===Onion Patch===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' This land looks bountiful, but if onions are Marzistar's only crop, I'm not signing up to be their Breath Smell Ambassador.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' This land looks bountiful, but if onions are Marzistar's only crop, I'm not signing up to be their Breath Smell Ambassador.
:{{short hr}}
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Once Strong Badia takes over, these onions will be cleverly chopped and deep fried into the shape of blossoming flowers!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Once Strong Badia takes over, these onions will be cleverly chopped and deep fried into the shape of blossoming flowers!
-
===Metal Detector → right side of the Onion Patch===
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====Metal Detector → right side of the Onion Patch====
-
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{digs up a flag}'' A souvenir flag from the People's Republic of Marzistar. ''{unsurprisingly}'' Let me guess: it bio-degrades into an eco-friendly fertiliser.
+
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{digs up a flag}'' A souvenir flag from the People's Republic of Marzistar. ''{unsurprisingly}'' Let me guess: it bio-degrades into an eco-friendly fertilizer.
-
==Pom Pom==
+
===Pom Pom===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Got any cool combo moves you could teach the troops, Pom Pom?
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Got any cool combo moves you could teach the troops, Pom Pom?
:'''POM POM:''' ''{bubbles conversationally}''
:'''POM POM:''' ''{bubbles conversationally}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{shocked}'' The 12-point exploding rooster technique? That's probably overkill for the Of Town. I just wanna underkill him.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{shocked}'' The 12-point exploding rooster technique? That's probably overkill for the Of Town. I just wanna underkill him.
-
==Strong Mad==
+
===Strong Mad===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Ah, good ol' Lugnut and Squeak, reunited under the flag of Strong Badia.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Ah, good ol' Lugnut and Squeak, reunited under the flag of Strong Badia.
:'''STRONG MAD:''' ''{hugs The Cheat harshly}'' I MISSED YOU SO!
:'''STRONG MAD:''' ''{hugs The Cheat harshly}'' I MISSED YOU SO!
:'''THE CHEAT:''' ''{struggling to breathe}'' Mzzzzmmmememmmemeehhhh...
:'''THE CHEAT:''' ''{struggling to breathe}'' Mzzzzmmmememmmemeehhhh...
-
:{{short hr}}
 
'''During extended play'''
'''During extended play'''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' War's over, Strong Mad. You can go home now.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' War's over, Strong Mad. You can go home now.
Line 73: Line 74:
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{sigh}'' He'll find his way back home eventually.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{sigh}'' He'll find his way back home eventually.
-
==Strong Sad==
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====Fake Sword → Strong Mad====
 +
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{dubs Strong Mad with sword}'' I dub thee, Sir Huge Wall Von Big Guy!
 +
:'''STRONG MAD:''' I'VE NEVER BEEN MORE PROUD!
 +
 
 +
===Strong Sad===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' So, Dump-tenant. Ready to be the battle's first casualty?
:'''STRONG BAD:''' So, Dump-tenant. Ready to be the battle's first casualty?
:'''STRONG SAD:''' You hush! I'm here to provide moral morale for the troops!
:'''STRONG SAD:''' You hush! I'm here to provide moral morale for the troops!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Well, I guess you DO make everyone else look leaner and meaner by comparison.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Well, I guess you DO make everyone else look leaner and meaner by comparison.
-
==Tony Stony==
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===Tony Stony===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Tony Stony? What are you doing out here? Wouldn't you be more comfortable in the tight waistband of my inventory? ''{takes it out from the Model UN}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Tony Stony? What are you doing out here? Wouldn't you be more comfortable in the tight waistband of my inventory? ''{takes it out from the Model UN}''
-
==Model UN/Draft Wheel==
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===Homestar Runner===
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+
-
===Model UN===
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-
:'''STRONG BAD:''' It's Marzi-pain's folky (i.e. crappily made) arts and crafts display.
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-
:{{short hr}}
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-
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Oh, the lands will be united, all right. Under my iron fist! Err, my cotton-padded fist! My cot-TON padded fist.
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-
 
+
-
====Bleak House display====
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-
:'''STRONG BAD:''' All the greatest achievements of Strong Sad's country: twenty-sided dice and cunningly-designed dungeons. He gets beaten up at least five times a day, and it's STILL not enough.
+
-
 
+
-
====Empty display====
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-
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Some would say the Strong Badian display is "empty." I say it's "minimalist."
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-
 
+
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====Country display====
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-
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Nothing in Strong Mad's display but some wadded-up paper and...the handle of a mug he tried to make in pottery class.
+
-
 
+
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====Coachnya display====
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-
:'''STRONG BAD:''' It's the display for Coachnya, and that means three things: Ointment, ointment and more ointment!
+
-
 
+
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====Poopslavakia display====
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-
:'''STRONG BAD:''' A...contribution...from Poopslavakia. Yeah, I'm not going anywhere near that one.
+
-
 
+
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====Consessionstan display====
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-
:'''STRONG BAD:''' The display from Bubs' Consessionstantinople. Looks like a half-eaten chicken wing.
+
-
 
+
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====Pompomerania display====
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-
:'''STRONG BAD:''' From Pompomerania, a half-empty can of Bull Honkey Caffeinergy Sauce.
+
-
 
+
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====Homsar Reservation display====
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-
:'''STRONG BAD:''' And from the Homsar people... a jar of cocktail onions wearing a top hat.
+
-
 
+
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====Tony Stony → any display====
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-
:'''STRONG BAD:''' From the country of Country, a giant rock I've been impossibly keeping in my pants. ''{places Tony in the specified display}'' A ha, the balance of power has shifted!
+
-
:{{short hr}}
+
-
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{places Tony in the specified display}'' A ha, the balance of power has shifted!
+
-
 
+
-
====Lighter → Model UN====
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-
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I would love to set that thing on fire, but I got a feeling I'm going to need it.
+
-
:{{short hr}}
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-
'''During extended play'''
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-
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{sets it on fire}'' FINALLY, this thing is flammable. I've been waiting forever to do that.
+
-
 
+
-
===Draft Wheel===
+
-
'''First time only'''
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-
 
+
-
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' That's right, folks. ''{The model UN spins around to reveal a large spinning wheel and a sign labelled "Peace Draft" appears from above".}'' Once again it's time for the peace draft! Homestar, tell the crowd what fabulous prizes today's winner will walk home with!
+
-
 
+
-
''{The view cuts over to a corner of the garden closer to the castle.  Homestar has quickly shifted to this location.}''
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-
 
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:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Well, Homestar, grand prize is an all-expenses-paid trip to the Castle and a meeting with the King of Town!
+
-
:'''MARZIPAN:''' ''{arrives back into the garden}'' Homestar, are you building an army without my permission?
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-
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{now back in front of the spinning wheel}'' Nothing, Marzipan! Just my regular old brand of nothing!
+
-
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{hastily}'' Quick! Just spin the wheel!
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-
:{{short hr}}
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-
'''Each time thereafter'''
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-
''{The draft wheel sets itself up as Homestar speaks.}''
+
-
 
+
-
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' And welcome back to Homezipan's Peacetime Draftstravaganza! Let's see who's today's lucky winner.
+
-
 
+
-
====If the wheel selects anyone other than Coach Z====
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-
''{The draft wheel spins around so that the Model UN faces the screen, and the Peace Draft sign is pulled back up.}''
+
-
 
+
-
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Well, the draft didn't work, Strong Bad. Only one thing left to do: Clone an army of mutant super-soldiers.
+
-
:'''STRONG BAD:''' No, Homestar, we... ''{quickly taken by surprise}'' Wait. That was an option? How come you come up with the unbelievably cool ideas only AFTER I'm committed to this one?
+
-
:{{short hr}}
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-
''{The Model UN reforms.}''
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-
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' No go, Stro Bro.
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-
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{disappointed}'' Ahhh. Keep trying.
+
-
 
+
-
====Draft Wheel → Hank "the Tank" Benedetto====
+
-
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Hank "the Tank" Benedetto? Man, these benedettos are really hoggin' the wheel. Sorry, Hank. We need you on the home front, keepin' the rations fresh.
+
-
 
+
-
====Draft Wheel → Little Johnny Benedetto====
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-
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Nooo! Little Johnny Benedetto! You always wanted to be like your brother Frank. Well I'm not gonna let you DIE like Frank! The tragedy ends here!
+
-
 
+
-
====Draft Wheel → Marty Benedetto====
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-
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Marty Benedetto. Fortunately, he's ineligible. He's been classified 4H.
+
-
 
+
-
====Draft Wheel → Ramon Benedetto====
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-
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Ramon Benedetto? No more! I can't look into Mrs. Benedetto's eyes again and tell her her boy's not coming back home!
+
-
 
+
-
====Draft Wheel → Tom Benedetto====
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-
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Tom Benedetto? Noooo! Hasn't that family suffered enough?
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-
 
+
-
====Draft Wheel → Li'l Brudder====
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-
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Li'l Brudder! ''{starts crying}'' Ohhhh, Li'l Brudder! Why? Why is the world so hard on all the little one-legged creatures?
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-
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{as Li'l Brudder}'' Put me in the front lines, sarge! I'm gonna be a four-star general some day!
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-
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{sobs}'' Nooooooo! Why did I even put that on the board?
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-
 
+
-
====Draft Wheel → Homestar Runner====
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-
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Homestar Runner! I believe the winner is right here in our studio?
+
-
 
+
-
''{Change camera angle. Homestar's in the same place but his expression has changed.}''
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-
 
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:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{angrily}'' I can't make me serve, fascist!
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-
 
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''{Camera angle is changed again, with Homestar's mood changing as well.}''
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-
 
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:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Uh oh, looks like we got us an artful draft dodger, ladies and gentlemen!
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-
 
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-
''{Cue another change of camera angle and another change of expression.}''
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-
 
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-
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{bitterly}'' No war! No war! What are all y'alls fightin' for?
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-
 
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-
''{Cue another change of camera angle. Homestar retains his angry expression this time.}''
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-
 
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-
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' WHAT is my major malfunction, private?
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-
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{unamused}'' Homestar, you can't draft yourself.
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-
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Really? I wish I'd known before I signed up for this chicken outfit. Never mind. Bwa-kawk!
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-
 
+
-
====Draft Wheel → Coach Z====
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-
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' And the lucky winner is... Coach Z!
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-
 
+
-
''{The camera focuses in on Coach Z, holding a sign saying "Coachnya Loves Peace", with symbols being represented for the final two words.}''
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-
 
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-
:'''COACH Z:''' ''{surprised}'' Really?!? I've never won anything before in my life! ''{throws away the sign and walks towards Homestar}''
+
-
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Recruit, are you willing to put your life and some cool camos on the line to defend my country?
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-
:'''COACH Z:''' I think they've all overbid! One dollar! One dollar!
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-
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{satisfied}'' Close enough.
+
-
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Welcome to the Homestarmy, soldier!
+
-
 
+
-
==Homestar Runner==
+
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey. Homestar.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey. Homestar.
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Another loyal subject of Homezipan!
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Another loyal subject of Homezipan!
Line 212: Line 96:
'''During extended play, after the Model UN is set on fire'''
'''During extended play, after the Model UN is set on fire'''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hanging out in the back yard, knocking back a few Cold Ones in front of a roaring draft wheel. It doesn't get any better than this.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hanging out in the back yard, knocking back a few Cold Ones in front of a roaring draft wheel. It doesn't get any better than this.
-
:'''HOMESTAR:''' You said it, bro. We are bros now, right?
+
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' You said it, bro. We are bros now, right?
:'''STRONG BAD:''' No.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' No.
-
===Homestar Runner → Strong Badia===
+
====Homestar Runner → Strong Badia====
:'''STRONG BAD:''' You look like someone who wants to unwillingly join a growing Empire.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' You look like someone who wants to unwillingly join a growing Empire.
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' You're like some type mind-reader! Where do I sign?
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' You're like some type mind-reader! Where do I sign?
Line 222: Line 106:
:{{short hr}}
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Come on, Homestar. Strong Badia's where all the cool people are.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Come on, Homestar. Strong Badia's where all the cool people are.
-
:'''HOMESTAR:''' ''{excited}'' Cool people are my favorite kind of people! They know all the latest fads! But... ''{disappointed}'' uh... we're happy with our independence.
+
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{excited}'' Cool people are my favorite kind of people! They know all the latest fads! But... ''{disappointed}'' uh... we're happy with our independence.
-
===Homestar Runner → Marzipan===
+
====Homestar Runner → Marzipan====
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Are you gonna let some GIRL tell you how to run your country? I thought we were bros!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Are you gonna let some GIRL tell you how to run your country? I thought we were bros!
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Wait, I thought ''I'' thought we were bros, and you're always beating various stuffings out of me.
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Wait, I thought ''I'' thought we were bros, and you're always beating various stuffings out of me.
Line 235: Line 119:
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{agitated}'' Groan. Never mind.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{agitated}'' Groan. Never mind.
-
===Homestar Runner → No King of Town===
+
====Homestar Runner → No King of Town====
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Aren't you tired of that The Of Town cramping your style?
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Aren't you tired of that The Of Town cramping your style?
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{annoyed}'' Oh, you got THAT right! I don't like the way his castle sits up there, undressing me with its eyes.
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{annoyed}'' Oh, you got THAT right! I don't like the way his castle sits up there, undressing me with its eyes.
Line 245: Line 129:
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{gently}'' Uh... I said I'm bringing back the Peaceful Homezipan Gentle Flower-Planting Brigade, dear.
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{gently}'' Uh... I said I'm bringing back the Peaceful Homezipan Gentle Flower-Planting Brigade, dear.
-
===Homestar Runner → Homestarmy===
+
====Homestar Runner → Homestarmy====
:'''STRONG BAD:''' What do you need for the Homestarmy, to help me take on The Of Town?
:'''STRONG BAD:''' What do you need for the Homestarmy, to help me take on The Of Town?
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{stubbornly}'' We're gonna need soldiers! Lots o' soldiers. Ol' Tofu-and-Sprouts over there abolished the draft. And we lost too many good men in the last war.
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{stubbornly}'' We're gonna need soldiers! Lots o' soldiers. Ol' Tofu-and-Sprouts over there abolished the draft. And we lost too many good men in the last war.
Line 255: Line 139:
:'''STRONG BAD:''' NOW do you have enough soldiers for the Homestarmy?
:'''STRONG BAD:''' NOW do you have enough soldiers for the Homestarmy?
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' That's a negatory. The peace draft is our only hope. I'm pository about that!
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' That's a negatory. The peace draft is our only hope. I'm pository about that!
-
:{{short hr}}
+
:''Each time thereafter''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' What's the state of the Homestarmy?
:'''STRONG BAD:''' What's the state of the Homestarmy?
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Does that look like five soldiers to you, private? We could use some more Strong Badian allies to thicken up our watery ranks.
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Does that look like five soldiers to you, private? We could use some more Strong Badian allies to thicken up our watery ranks.
-
===Homestar Runner → Draft Wheel===
+
====Homestar Runner → Draft Wheel====
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Why don't you re-instate the draft?
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Why don't you re-instate the draft?
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' That's a great idea!
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' That's a great idea!
Line 265: Line 149:
:'''STRONG BAD:''' You should run that draft again, before it's too late.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' You should run that draft again, before it's too late.
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{worried}'' We may already BE too late!
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{worried}'' We may already BE too late!
-
:{{short hr}}
+
:Each time thereafter
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Run the draft again.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Run the draft again.
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Okay!
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Okay!
 +
:''{Continue below to '''Draft Wheel'''}''
-
''{The Draft Wheel gets used after any of these above responses.}''
+
===Marzipan===
-
 
+
-
==Marzipan==
+
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hola, Marzip0wned ''{pronounced Marzi-puh-owned}''. Or however you pronounce that.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hola, Marzip0wned ''{pronounced Marzi-puh-owned}''. Or however you pronounce that.
:'''MARZIPAN:''' What is it, Strong Bad? I've got an awful lot of queening to do.
:'''MARZIPAN:''' What is it, Strong Bad? I've got an awful lot of queening to do.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' You and Strong Sad both.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' You and Strong Sad both.
-
===Marzipan → Strong Badia===
+
====Marzipan → Strong Badia====
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I want you two to join the Strong Badian Empire. And by "want", I mean "not want", but I can already tell I'm not getting through this place until you guys join up.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I want you two to join the Strong Badian Empire. And by "want", I mean "not want", but I can already tell I'm not getting through this place until you guys join up.
:'''MARZIPAN:''' No way, Pinochet. Marzistar is a peaceful nation.
:'''MARZIPAN:''' No way, Pinochet. Marzistar is a peaceful nation.
:{{short hr}}
:{{short hr}}
-
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Aw come on. ''{in a seducive voice tone}'' No nation can resist the roguish charm of Strong Badia's most charming rogue.
+
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Aw come on. ''{in a seductive tone}'' No nation can resist the roguish charm of Strong Badia's most charming rogue.
:'''MARZIPAN:''' Ewww, gross. Marzistar is doing just fine, thanks. We're not trying to take over the world, just make it better.
:'''MARZIPAN:''' Ewww, gross. Marzistar is doing just fine, thanks. We're not trying to take over the world, just make it better.
-
===Marzipan → No King of Town===
+
====Marzipan → No King of Town====
:'''STRONG BAD:''' You don't like The Of Town! I heard you say so! Don't you need protection, with his castle looming overhead so ominously?
:'''STRONG BAD:''' You don't like The Of Town! I heard you say so! Don't you need protection, with his castle looming overhead so ominously?
:'''MARZIPAN:''' We've got a peace treaty with the Municipality. And that means one thing: You will never pass through Marzistar to attack the King of Town!
:'''MARZIPAN:''' We've got a peace treaty with the Municipality. And that means one thing: You will never pass through Marzistar to attack the King of Town!
Line 290: Line 173:
:'''MARZIPAN:''' It's like I already told you, Strong Bad: You will never pass through Marzistar to attack the King of Town!
:'''MARZIPAN:''' It's like I already told you, Strong Bad: You will never pass through Marzistar to attack the King of Town!
-
===Marzipan → Homestar Runner===
+
====Marzipan → Homestar Runner====
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I bet King Homestar really wants to join Strong Badia and take on the castle...   
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I bet King Homestar really wants to join Strong Badia and take on the castle...   
:'''MARZIPAN:''' Yeah, but in about five minutes, King Homestar could really want to join an All-Squirrel Football League.
:'''MARZIPAN:''' Yeah, but in about five minutes, King Homestar could really want to join an All-Squirrel Football League.
Line 302: Line 185:
:'''MARZIPAN:''' ''{hostile}'' He's lucky I don't have HIM executed, the way he invites all his friends over and crashes up the place. ''{quickly becomes calm}'' I mean... we have had some disagreements on domestic and foreign policy.
:'''MARZIPAN:''' ''{hostile}'' He's lucky I don't have HIM executed, the way he invites all his friends over and crashes up the place. ''{quickly becomes calm}'' I mean... we have had some disagreements on domestic and foreign policy.
-
===Marzipan → Model UN===
+
====Marzipan → Model UN====
:'''STRONG BAD:''' What's with the crappy science fair project?
:'''STRONG BAD:''' What's with the crappy science fair project?
:'''MARZIPAN:''' That's my model United Nations! It's a testament to peace, equality, and sharing between all nations of the world. Even yours.
:'''MARZIPAN:''' That's my model United Nations! It's a testament to peace, equality, and sharing between all nations of the world. Even yours.
Line 311: Line 194:
:'''MARZIPAN:''' Well... you can put a national treasure in the Strong Badian display, if you want. Just don't touch the others.
:'''MARZIPAN:''' Well... you can put a national treasure in the Strong Badian display, if you want. Just don't touch the others.
-
==After the Homestarmy obtains its required five soldiers==
+
===Model UN/Draft Wheel===
-
:'''MARZIPAN:''' Homestar, I told you I don't like you having all your friends over, to watch the game and plan paramilitary operations, without asking me first.
+
====Model UN====
-
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Oh, you granola bars are all the same! Except for the ones with chocolate chips!
+
:'''STRONG BAD:''' It's Marzi-pain's folky (i.e. crappily made) arts and crafts display.
 +
:{{short hr}}
 +
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Oh, the lands will be united, all right. Under my iron fist! Err, my cotton-padded fist! My cot-TON padded fist.
 +
 
 +
=====Bleak House display=====
 +
:'''STRONG BAD:''' All the greatest achievements of Strong Sad's country: twenty-sided dice and cunningly-designed dungeons. He gets beaten up at least five times a day, and it's STILL not enough.
 +
 
 +
=====Empty display=====
 +
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Some would say the Strong Badian display is "empty". I say it's "minimalist".
 +
 
 +
=====Country display=====
 +
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Nothing in Strong Mad's display but some wadded-up paper and... the handle of a mug he tried to make in pottery class.
 +
 
 +
=====Coachnya display=====
 +
:'''STRONG BAD:''' It's the display for Coachnya, and that means three things: Ointment, ointment, and more ointment!
 +
 
 +
=====Poopslavakia display=====
 +
:'''STRONG BAD:''' A... contribution... from Poopslavakia. Yeah, I'm not going anywhere near that one.
 +
 
 +
=====Concessionstan display=====
 +
:'''STRONG BAD:''' The display from Bubs' Concessionstantinople. Looks like a half-eaten chicken wing.
 +
 
 +
=====Pompomerania display=====
 +
:'''STRONG BAD:''' From Pompomerania, a half-empty can of Bull Honkey Caffeinergy Sauce.
 +
 
 +
=====Homsar Reservation display=====
 +
:'''STRONG BAD:''' And from the Homsar people... a jar of cocktail onions wearing a top hat.
 +
 
 +
=====Tony Stony → any display=====
 +
:'''STRONG BAD:''' From the country of Country, a giant rock I've been impossibly keeping in my pants. ''{places Tony in the specified display}'' Aha, the balance of power has shifted!
 +
:{{short hr}}
 +
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{places Tony in the specified display}'' Aha, the balance of power has shifted!
 +
 
 +
=====Lighter → Model UN=====
 +
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I would love to set that thing on fire, but I got a feeling I'm going to need it.
 +
'''During extended play'''
 +
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{sets it on fire}'' FINALLY, this thing is flammable. I've been waiting forever to do that.
 +
'''After being set on fire'''
 +
:'''STRONG BAD:''' That thing could not be any more on fire.
 +
 
 +
====Draft Wheel====
 +
:''First time only''
 +
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' That's right, folks. ''{The model UN spins around to reveal a large spinning wheel and a sign labelled "Peace Draft" appears from above".}'' Once again it's time for the peace draft! Homestar, tell the crowd what fabulous prizes today's winner will walk home with!
 +
:''{The view cuts over to a corner of the garden closer to the castle. Homestar has quickly shifted to this location.}''
 +
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Well, Homestar, grand prize is an all-expenses-paid trip to the Castle and a meeting with the King of Town!
 +
:'''MARZIPAN:''' ''{arrives back into the garden}'' Homestar, are you building an army without my permission?
 +
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{now back in front of the spinning wheel}'' Nothing, Marzipan! Just my regular old brand of nothing!
 +
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{hastily}'' Quick! Just spin the wheel!
 +
:''{The wheel picks one of the selections below.}''
 +
:''Each time thereafter''
 +
:''{The draft wheel sets itself up as Homestar speaks.}''
 +
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' And welcome back to Homezipan's Peacetime Draftstravaganza! Let's see who's today's lucky winner.
 +
 
 +
=====Draft Wheel → Hank "the Tank" Benedetto=====
 +
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Hank "the Tank" Benedetto? Man, these Benedettos are really hoggin' the wheel. Sorry, Hank. We need you on the home front, keepin' the rations fresh.
 +
 
 +
=====Draft Wheel → Little Johnny Benedetto=====
 +
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Nooo! Little Johnny Benedetto! You always wanted to be like your brother Frank. Well I'm not gonna let you DIE like Frank! The tragedy ends here!
 +
 
 +
=====Draft Wheel → Marty Benedetto=====
 +
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Marty Benedetto. Fortunately, he's ineligible. He's been classified 4H.
 +
 
 +
=====Draft Wheel → Ramon Benedetto=====
 +
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Ramon Benedetto? No more! I can't look into Mrs. Benedetto's eyes again and tell her her boy's not coming back home!
 +
 
 +
=====Draft Wheel → Tom Benedetto=====
 +
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Tom Benedetto? Noooo! Hasn't that family suffered enough?
 +
 
 +
=====Draft Wheel → Li'l Brudder=====
 +
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Li'l Brudder! ''{starts crying}'' Ohhhh, Li'l Brudder! Why? Why is the world so hard on all the little one-legged creatures?
 +
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{as Li'l Brudder}'' Put me in the front lines, sarge! I'm gonna be a four-star general some day!
 +
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{sobs}'' Nooooooo! Why did I even put that on the board?
 +
 
 +
=====Draft Wheel → Homestar Runner=====
 +
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Homestar Runner! I believe the winner is right here in our studio?
 +
:''{Change camera angle. Homestar's in the same place but his expression has changed.}''
 +
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{angrily}'' I can't make me serve, fascist!
 +
:''{Camera angle is changed again, with Homestar's mood changing as well.}''
 +
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Uh oh, looks like we got us an artful draft dodger, ladies and gentlemen!
 +
:''{Cue another change of camera angle and another change of expression.}''
 +
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{bitterly}'' No war! No war! What are all y'alls fightin' for?
 +
:''{Cue another change of camera angle. Homestar retains his angry expression this time.}''
 +
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' WHAT is my major malfunction, private?
 +
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{unamused}'' Homestar, you can't draft yourself.
 +
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Really? I wish I'd known before I signed up for this chicken outfit. Never mind. Bwa-kawk!
 +
 
 +
'''If the wheel selects anyone other than Coach Z'''
 +
:''{The draft wheel spins around so that the Model UN faces the screen, and the Peace Draft sign is pulled back up.}''
 +
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Well, the draft didn't work, Strong Bad. Only one thing left to do: Clone an army of mutant super-soldiers.
 +
:'''STRONG BAD:''' No, Homestar, we... ''{quickly taken by surprise}'' Wait. That was an option? How come you come up with the unbelievably cool ideas only AFTER I'm committed to this one?
 +
:{{short hr}}
 +
:''{The Model UN reforms.}''
 +
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' No go, Stro Bro.
 +
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{disappointed}'' Ahhh. Keep trying.
 +
 
 +
=====Draft Wheel → Coach Z=====
 +
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' And the lucky winner is... Coach Z!
 +
:''{The camera focuses in on Coach Z, holding a sign saying "Coachnya ♥ ☮".}''
 +
:'''COACH Z:''' ''{surprised}'' Really?!? I've never won anything before in my life! ''{throws away the sign and walks towards Homestar}''
 +
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Recruit, are you willing to put your life and some cool camos on the line to defend my country?
 +
:'''COACH Z:''' I think they've all overbid! One dollar! One dollar!
 +
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{satisfied}'' Close enough.
 +
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Welcome to the Homestarmy, soldier!
-
''{Marzipan, obviously, doesn't look amused. When the camera switches back to Homestar, he is now shown in his Homestarmy outfit.}''
+
===After the Homestarmy obtains its required five soldiers===
 +
:'''MARZIPAN:''' Homestar, I told you I don't like you having all your friends over, to watch the game and plan paramilitary operations, without asking me first.
 +
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Oh, you granola bars are all the same! Except for the ones with chocolate chips!
 +
:''{Marzipan, obviously, doesn't look amused. When the camera switches back to Homestar, he is now shown in his Homestarmy outfit.}''
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' You enjoy your freedom to not wash your hair, and play hackey sack, but aren't willing to put an orange bowl on your head, and wave a spoon around!
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' You enjoy your freedom to not wash your hair, and play hackey sack, but aren't willing to put an orange bowl on your head, and wave a spoon around!
:'''MARZIPAN:''' ''{very annoyed}'' Okay, that is it, Homestar. We are THROUGH.
:'''MARZIPAN:''' ''{very annoyed}'' Okay, that is it, Homestar. We are THROUGH.
Line 324: Line 312:
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Better! Your side is East Marzistar, and my side is East Homezipan! Midway along the border we'll set up Checkpoint The Cheat.
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Better! Your side is East Marzistar, and my side is East Homezipan! Midway along the border we'll set up Checkpoint The Cheat.
:'''MARZIPAN:''' Why don't you just make your own country at your house?
:'''MARZIPAN:''' Why don't you just make your own country at your house?
-
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' No way! There's a squirrel in the attic, that I sometimes think it's a spooky ghost!
+
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' No way! There's a squirrel in the attic that I sometimes think is a spooky ghost!
:'''MARZIPAN:''' ''{walks off}'' Whatever!
:'''MARZIPAN:''' ''{walks off}'' Whatever!
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' All right, maggots! Aten... HUT!
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' All right, maggots! Aten... HUT!
-
 
+
:''{The camera pans around to show all the recruited members for the Homestarmy - Coach Z, Pom Pom, Homsar, Strong Sad and Strong Mad.}''
-
''{The camera pans around to show all the recruited members for the Homestarmy - Coach Z, Pom Pom, Homsar, Strong Sad and Strong Mad.}''
+
-
 
+
:'''STRONG BAD:''' You call this a Homestarmy? Somebody's going to have to whip these wastes of panty-waists into shape.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' You call this a Homestarmy? Somebody's going to have to whip these wastes of panty-waists into shape.
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Take it away, Your Dryness! Just lemme know when you want to start attacking the castle!
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Take it away, Your Dryness! Just lemme know when you want to start attacking the castle!
-
===Prep Talk===
+
====Prep Talk====
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Has anyone seen my contact lens?
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Has anyone seen my contact lens?
:{{short hr}}
:{{short hr}}
Line 358: Line 344:
:'''STRONG BAD:''' The first thing you'll notice about The Of Town is that he smells like fresh-baked breads. Do not be fooled!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' The first thing you'll notice about The Of Town is that he smells like fresh-baked breads. Do not be fooled!
-
===Prep talk → Coach Z===
+
====Prep talk → Coach Z====
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Do I make myself clear?
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Do I make myself clear?
:'''COACH Z:''' Sore, yes sore!
:'''COACH Z:''' Sore, yes sore!
-
===Prep talk → Pom Pom===
+
====Prep talk → Pom Pom====
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Am I BORING you, private?
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Am I BORING you, private?
:'''POM POM:''' ''{bubbles attentively}''
:'''POM POM:''' ''{bubbles attentively}''
-
===Prep talk → Homsar===
+
====Prep talk → Homsar====
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Have something to share with the rest of the class?
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Have something to share with the rest of the class?
:'''HOMSAR:''' Daaaahhhh, I'm the local Leroy!
:'''HOMSAR:''' Daaaahhhh, I'm the local Leroy!
-
===Prep talk → Strong Sad===
+
====Prep talk → Strong Sad====
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Do you WANT to die, soldier?
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Do you WANT to die, soldier?
:'''STRONG SAD:''' ''{ponders}'' Hmmm... well...
:'''STRONG SAD:''' ''{ponders}'' Hmmm... well...
-
===Prep talk → Strong Mad===
+
====Prep talk → Strong Mad====
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Shape up, private!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Shape up, private!
:'''STRONG MAD:''' ''{upset}'' SORRY SIR! ''{straightens himself up}''
:'''STRONG MAD:''' ''{upset}'' SORRY SIR! ''{straightens himself up}''
-
===Prep talk → Homestar Runner===
+
====Prep talk → Homestar Runner====
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' You ready to take on the Of Town, chief? ''{pronounced as it's written}''
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' You ready to take on the Of Town, chief? ''{pronounced as it's written}''
-
====Homestar Runner → No King of Town====
+
=====Homestar Runner → No King of Town=====
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Nah, these clowns still need to be toughened up.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Nah, these clowns still need to be toughened up.
-
====Homestar Runner → The King of Town====
+
=====Homestar Runner → The King of Town=====
'''This scene can also be seen by getting all five Homestarmy members at attention.'''
'''This scene can also be seen by getting all five Homestarmy members at attention.'''
Line 393: Line 379:
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{imitating gunfire}'' Ptoo! Ptoo!
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{imitating gunfire}'' Ptoo! Ptoo!
:'''COACH Z:''' Vive le Revelation!
:'''COACH Z:''' Vive le Revelation!
 +
:''{Everyone goes over the fence and runs towards the Castle, with Strong Bad leading the group. Eventually, the charge comes to a freeze frame, before it transforms itself into a slightly grayed poster with the remark "Believe in YOURSELF" written on it.  The player is taken to the Castle at this point.}''
-
''{Everyone goes over the fence and runs towards the Castle, with Strong Bad leading the group. Eventually, the charge comes to a freeze frame, before it transforms itself into a slightly grayed poster with the remark "Believe in YOURSELF" written on it.  The player is taken to the Castle at this point.}''
+
{{SBCG4AP|responses}}
-
 
+
-
==Fake Sword==
+
-
 
+
-
===Fake Sword → Strong Mad===
+
-
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{dubs Strong Mad with sword}'' I dub thee, Sir Huge Wall Von Big Guy!
+
-
:'''STRONG MAD:''' I'VE NEVER BEEN MORE PROUD!
+
-
 
+
-
===Fake Sword → Coach Z===
+
-
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I dub thee... Coach Zed, Lord High Protector of Butt-Pattery.
+
-
 
+
-
{{stub}}
+
-
 
+
-
{{SBCG4AP}}
+
-
 
+
-
[[Category:Video Game Responses]]
+

Current revision as of 05:57, 7 March 2023

"Welcome back to Homezipan's Peacetime Draftstravaganza!"

Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People has many responses when you talk to various characters and interact with various objects. These are the responses from Marzistar/Homezipan in Strong Badia the Free.

On these pages, A → B (right arrow) means that the response happens when object A is used on thing B, or in the case of talking to other characters, the indicated sequence of chat topic icons are chosen.

A short horizontal line between two or more responses, such as the one above, means only one of the responses is heard at a time, and that the action results in a different response each time it occurs.


Contents

[edit] Marzistar

[edit] On first arrival

{Cue fade in as Strong Bad walks into Marzipan's back yard.}
MARZIPAN: Come on in... we're so glad that you made it this fa... {becomes hostile} Oh, it's just Strong Bad.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Do you have any fruit to declare?
STRONG BAD: What brand of idiocy have I stumbled upon here?
MARZIPAN: This is the Free People's Republic of Marzistar. A hostile territory.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Welcome to Homezipan!
MARZIPAN: {turns towards Homestar} Homestar, we've talked about this. It's Marzistar.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: No, seriously. Do you have any fruit to declare?

[edit] Coach Z

STRONG BAD: Are you ready to put your life on the line for Strong Badia?
COACH Z: Put my life on the line? I thought this was the ROTC!
STRONG BAD: {sigh} And what, pray tell, do you think that stands for?
COACH Z: Relaxation of the Coach!
STRONG BAD: What's the situation in Coachnya?
COACH Z: Rebels invaded and changed the scoreboard to spell dirty words if you look at it upside-down. It's a madhouse!
STRONG BAD: Ready to take on the Of Town, private?
COACH Z: Private, public, I like all kinds of restrooms.

During extended play

STRONG BAD: The war's over, Coach Z. You can go back home now.
COACH Z: Yeah, I should go back to that musty gym. Instead of out here in a nice garden... {starts speaking obsessively} ...behind Marzipan's house... where I can watch her... always...
STRONG BAD: {wittingly} Congratulations, Coach. I just spent the last few hours carrying my brother's internal organs in a jar, and you still managed to top that on the creepy scale.

[edit] Fake Sword → Coach Z

STRONG BAD: I dub thee... Coach Zed, Lord High Protector of Butt-Pattery.

[edit] Homsar

STRONG BAD: Are you gonna keep a cool head in battle, Homsar?
HOMSAR: Daaahh, I'll take the last bus to the bake sale!
STRONG BAD: That'll work too.

[edit] Mailbox

STRONG BAD: I wonder if Marzipan ever got that stink bomb I sent to... {searches mailbox} ...ooh even better! Page 2 of my Algebros instruction manual! This one details the icy-hot "Polar Coordinates Attack" move.
STRONG BAD: {checks mailbox} No mail for Marzistar.

[edit] Memorial

STRONG BAD: "Frank Benedetto. Fell in service to his country during the first battle of Strong Badia." {turns to the camera} Even though we were on different sides of that conflict, that soldier had real butter. {almost chokes} Gotta respect that.
STRONG BAD: "Frank Benedetto. Fell in service to his country during the first battle of Strong Badia."

[edit] Onion Patch

STRONG BAD: This land looks bountiful, but if onions are Marzistar's only crop, I'm not signing up to be their Breath Smell Ambassador.
STRONG BAD: Once Strong Badia takes over, these onions will be cleverly chopped and deep fried into the shape of blossoming flowers!

[edit] Metal Detector → right side of the Onion Patch

STRONG BAD: {digs up a flag} A souvenir flag from the People's Republic of Marzistar. {unsurprisingly} Let me guess: it bio-degrades into an eco-friendly fertilizer.

[edit] Pom Pom

STRONG BAD: Got any cool combo moves you could teach the troops, Pom Pom?
POM POM: {bubbles conversationally}
STRONG BAD: {shocked} The 12-point exploding rooster technique? That's probably overkill for the Of Town. I just wanna underkill him.

[edit] Strong Mad

STRONG BAD: Ah, good ol' Lugnut and Squeak, reunited under the flag of Strong Badia.
STRONG MAD: {hugs The Cheat harshly} I MISSED YOU SO!
THE CHEAT: {struggling to breathe} Mzzzzmmmememmmemeehhhh...

During extended play

STRONG BAD: War's over, Strong Mad. You can go home now.
STRONG MAD: REFUGEE!
STRONG BAD: No really, Strong Mad. You can go back home.
STRONG MAD: SUPPORT THE WAR VETERANS!
STRONG BAD: {sigh} He'll find his way back home eventually.

[edit] Fake Sword → Strong Mad

STRONG BAD: {dubs Strong Mad with sword} I dub thee, Sir Huge Wall Von Big Guy!
STRONG MAD: I'VE NEVER BEEN MORE PROUD!

[edit] Strong Sad

STRONG BAD: So, Dump-tenant. Ready to be the battle's first casualty?
STRONG SAD: You hush! I'm here to provide moral morale for the troops!
STRONG BAD: Well, I guess you DO make everyone else look leaner and meaner by comparison.

[edit] Tony Stony

STRONG BAD: Tony Stony? What are you doing out here? Wouldn't you be more comfortable in the tight waistband of my inventory? {takes it out from the Model UN}

[edit] Homestar Runner

STRONG BAD: Hey. Homestar.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Another loyal subject of Homezipan!

During extended play

STRONG BAD: What are you doing here, Homestar? I thought you and Marzipinhead broke up.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: She said she'd take me back if I figure out how to get rid of this stupid draft wheel.

During extended play, after the Model UN is set on fire

STRONG BAD: Hanging out in the back yard, knocking back a few Cold Ones in front of a roaring draft wheel. It doesn't get any better than this.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: You said it, bro. We are bros now, right?
STRONG BAD: No.

[edit] Homestar Runner → Strong Badia

STRONG BAD: You look like someone who wants to unwillingly join a growing Empire.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: You're like some type mind-reader! Where do I sign?
MARZIPAN: {glares at Homestar} Homestar...
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh. Right. {disappointed} I apologize, good ambassador, but my treaty signings and bathroom privileges have been revoked.
STRONG BAD: Come on, Homestar. Strong Badia's where all the cool people are.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: {excited} Cool people are my favorite kind of people! They know all the latest fads! But... {disappointed} uh... we're happy with our independence.

[edit] Homestar Runner → Marzipan

STRONG BAD: Are you gonna let some GIRL tell you how to run your country? I thought we were bros!
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Wait, I thought I thought we were bros, and you're always beating various stuffings out of me.
STRONG BAD: I thought we were bros!
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Sorry man. I know it looks like I'm the brains of this outfit, but my lady friend's got a good head on her shoulders.
STRONG BAD: Um... Nothing about that last thing you said was true.
STRONG BAD: I bet Marzipan would like it if you showed a little gumption and made your own bad decisions.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: I don't know about that, I'd better go ask her first.
STRONG BAD: {agitated} Groan. Never mind.

[edit] Homestar Runner → No King of Town

STRONG BAD: Aren't you tired of that The Of Town cramping your style?
HOMESTAR RUNNER: {annoyed} Oh, you got THAT right! I don't like the way his castle sits up there, undressing me with its eyes.
STRONG BAD: What're you gonna do when they INVADE?
HOMESTAR RUNNER: {shocked} Invade Homezipan? Call the militia! This is not a drill, people!
STRONG BAD: Do you even HAVE a militia?
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Holy crap, we're defeneseless! {stubbornly} That settles it: I'm getting the band back together! I'm bringing back the Homestarmy!
MARZIPAN: {annoyed} What was that?
HOMESTAR RUNNER: {gently} Uh... I said I'm bringing back the Peaceful Homezipan Gentle Flower-Planting Brigade, dear.

[edit] Homestar Runner → Homestarmy

STRONG BAD: What do you need for the Homestarmy, to help me take on The Of Town?
HOMESTAR RUNNER: {stubbornly} We're gonna need soldiers! Lots o' soldiers. Ol' Tofu-and-Sprouts over there abolished the draft. And we lost too many good men in the last war.
STRONG BAD: How many soldiers is "lots o'" soldiers?
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Exactly five.
STRONG BAD: How did you know you-
HOMESTAR RUNNER: {interrupts} A colonel {pronounced exactly as it's written} knows these things.
STRONG BAD: NOW do you have enough soldiers for the Homestarmy?
HOMESTAR RUNNER: That's a negatory. The peace draft is our only hope. I'm pository about that!
Each time thereafter
STRONG BAD: What's the state of the Homestarmy?
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Does that look like five soldiers to you, private? We could use some more Strong Badian allies to thicken up our watery ranks.

[edit] Homestar Runner → Draft Wheel

STRONG BAD: Why don't you re-instate the draft?
HOMESTAR RUNNER: That's a great idea!
STRONG BAD: You should run that draft again, before it's too late.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: {worried} We may already BE too late!
Each time thereafter
STRONG BAD: Run the draft again.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Okay!
{Continue below to Draft Wheel}

[edit] Marzipan

STRONG BAD: Hola, Marzip0wned {pronounced Marzi-puh-owned}. Or however you pronounce that.
MARZIPAN: What is it, Strong Bad? I've got an awful lot of queening to do.
STRONG BAD: You and Strong Sad both.

[edit] Marzipan → Strong Badia

STRONG BAD: I want you two to join the Strong Badian Empire. And by "want", I mean "not want", but I can already tell I'm not getting through this place until you guys join up.
MARZIPAN: No way, Pinochet. Marzistar is a peaceful nation.
STRONG BAD: Aw come on. {in a seductive tone} No nation can resist the roguish charm of Strong Badia's most charming rogue.
MARZIPAN: Ewww, gross. Marzistar is doing just fine, thanks. We're not trying to take over the world, just make it better.

[edit] Marzipan → No King of Town

STRONG BAD: You don't like The Of Town! I heard you say so! Don't you need protection, with his castle looming overhead so ominously?
MARZIPAN: We've got a peace treaty with the Municipality. And that means one thing: You will never pass through Marzistar to attack the King of Town!
STRONG BAD: Don't come cryin' to Strong Badia when The Of Town sends in the Poops...
MARZIPAN: It's like I already told you, Strong Bad: You will never pass through Marzistar to attack the King of Town!

[edit] Marzipan → Homestar Runner

STRONG BAD: I bet King Homestar really wants to join Strong Badia and take on the castle...
MARZIPAN: Yeah, but in about five minutes, King Homestar could really want to join an All-Squirrel Football League.
STRONG BAD: You do have a point there.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Put me in, coach! We can BEAT those chipmunks!
STRONG BAD: What if Homestar MADE you join Strong Badia?
MARZIPAN: Homestar can't MAKE this country do anything. We're completely equal co-rulers of Marzistar. And what I say goes.
STRONG BAD: As King, can't Homestar have you beheaded or be-whatever-that-thing-is-ded?
MARZIPAN: {hostile} He's lucky I don't have HIM executed, the way he invites all his friends over and crashes up the place. {quickly becomes calm} I mean... we have had some disagreements on domestic and foreign policy.

[edit] Marzipan → Model UN

STRONG BAD: What's with the crappy science fair project?
MARZIPAN: That's my model United Nations! It's a testament to peace, equality, and sharing between all nations of the world. Even yours.
STRONG BAD: {disgusted} Equality and sharing? Barf! That sounds vaguely... communistic.
MARZIPAN: {happily} Thanks! I know! I'm collecting treasures from all the developed countries, plus Coachnya, to go in the displays. All to say: "This is what we can do when we work together."
STRONG BAD: I think I might want to break or break wind on your so-called "united nations".
MARZIPAN: Well... you can put a national treasure in the Strong Badian display, if you want. Just don't touch the others.

[edit] Model UN/Draft Wheel

[edit] Model UN

STRONG BAD: It's Marzi-pain's folky (i.e. crappily made) arts and crafts display.
STRONG BAD: Oh, the lands will be united, all right. Under my iron fist! Err, my cotton-padded fist! My cot-TON padded fist.
[edit] Bleak House display
STRONG BAD: All the greatest achievements of Strong Sad's country: twenty-sided dice and cunningly-designed dungeons. He gets beaten up at least five times a day, and it's STILL not enough.
[edit] Empty display
STRONG BAD: Some would say the Strong Badian display is "empty". I say it's "minimalist".
[edit] Country display
STRONG BAD: Nothing in Strong Mad's display but some wadded-up paper and... the handle of a mug he tried to make in pottery class.
[edit] Coachnya display
STRONG BAD: It's the display for Coachnya, and that means three things: Ointment, ointment, and more ointment!
[edit] Poopslavakia display
STRONG BAD: A... contribution... from Poopslavakia. Yeah, I'm not going anywhere near that one.
[edit] Concessionstan display
STRONG BAD: The display from Bubs' Concessionstantinople. Looks like a half-eaten chicken wing.
[edit] Pompomerania display
STRONG BAD: From Pompomerania, a half-empty can of Bull Honkey Caffeinergy Sauce.
[edit] Homsar Reservation display
STRONG BAD: And from the Homsar people... a jar of cocktail onions wearing a top hat.
[edit] Tony Stony → any display
STRONG BAD: From the country of Country, a giant rock I've been impossibly keeping in my pants. {places Tony in the specified display} Aha, the balance of power has shifted!
STRONG BAD: {places Tony in the specified display} Aha, the balance of power has shifted!
[edit] Lighter → Model UN
STRONG BAD: I would love to set that thing on fire, but I got a feeling I'm going to need it.

During extended play

STRONG BAD: {sets it on fire} FINALLY, this thing is flammable. I've been waiting forever to do that.

After being set on fire

STRONG BAD: That thing could not be any more on fire.

[edit] Draft Wheel

First time only
HOMESTAR RUNNER: That's right, folks. {The model UN spins around to reveal a large spinning wheel and a sign labelled "Peace Draft" appears from above".} Once again it's time for the peace draft! Homestar, tell the crowd what fabulous prizes today's winner will walk home with!
{The view cuts over to a corner of the garden closer to the castle. Homestar has quickly shifted to this location.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Well, Homestar, grand prize is an all-expenses-paid trip to the Castle and a meeting with the King of Town!
MARZIPAN: {arrives back into the garden} Homestar, are you building an army without my permission?
HOMESTAR RUNNER: {now back in front of the spinning wheel} Nothing, Marzipan! Just my regular old brand of nothing!
STRONG BAD: {hastily} Quick! Just spin the wheel!
{The wheel picks one of the selections below.}
Each time thereafter
{The draft wheel sets itself up as Homestar speaks.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: And welcome back to Homezipan's Peacetime Draftstravaganza! Let's see who's today's lucky winner.
[edit] Draft Wheel → Hank "the Tank" Benedetto
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Hank "the Tank" Benedetto? Man, these Benedettos are really hoggin' the wheel. Sorry, Hank. We need you on the home front, keepin' the rations fresh.
[edit] Draft Wheel → Little Johnny Benedetto
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Nooo! Little Johnny Benedetto! You always wanted to be like your brother Frank. Well I'm not gonna let you DIE like Frank! The tragedy ends here!
[edit] Draft Wheel → Marty Benedetto
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Marty Benedetto. Fortunately, he's ineligible. He's been classified 4H.
[edit] Draft Wheel → Ramon Benedetto
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Ramon Benedetto? No more! I can't look into Mrs. Benedetto's eyes again and tell her her boy's not coming back home!
[edit] Draft Wheel → Tom Benedetto
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Tom Benedetto? Noooo! Hasn't that family suffered enough?
[edit] Draft Wheel → Li'l Brudder
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Li'l Brudder! {starts crying} Ohhhh, Li'l Brudder! Why? Why is the world so hard on all the little one-legged creatures?
STRONG BAD: {as Li'l Brudder} Put me in the front lines, sarge! I'm gonna be a four-star general some day!
HOMESTAR RUNNER: {sobs} Nooooooo! Why did I even put that on the board?
[edit] Draft Wheel → Homestar Runner
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Homestar Runner! I believe the winner is right here in our studio?
{Change camera angle. Homestar's in the same place but his expression has changed.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: {angrily} I can't make me serve, fascist!
{Camera angle is changed again, with Homestar's mood changing as well.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Uh oh, looks like we got us an artful draft dodger, ladies and gentlemen!
{Cue another change of camera angle and another change of expression.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: {bitterly} No war! No war! What are all y'alls fightin' for?
{Cue another change of camera angle. Homestar retains his angry expression this time.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: WHAT is my major malfunction, private?
STRONG BAD: {unamused} Homestar, you can't draft yourself.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Really? I wish I'd known before I signed up for this chicken outfit. Never mind. Bwa-kawk!

If the wheel selects anyone other than Coach Z

{The draft wheel spins around so that the Model UN faces the screen, and the Peace Draft sign is pulled back up.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Well, the draft didn't work, Strong Bad. Only one thing left to do: Clone an army of mutant super-soldiers.
STRONG BAD: No, Homestar, we... {quickly taken by surprise} Wait. That was an option? How come you come up with the unbelievably cool ideas only AFTER I'm committed to this one?
{The Model UN reforms.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: No go, Stro Bro.
STRONG BAD: {disappointed} Ahhh. Keep trying.
[edit] Draft Wheel → Coach Z
HOMESTAR RUNNER: And the lucky winner is... Coach Z!
{The camera focuses in on Coach Z, holding a sign saying "Coachnya ♥ ☮".}
COACH Z: {surprised} Really?!? I've never won anything before in my life! {throws away the sign and walks towards Homestar}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Recruit, are you willing to put your life and some cool camos on the line to defend my country?
COACH Z: I think they've all overbid! One dollar! One dollar!
STRONG BAD: {satisfied} Close enough.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Welcome to the Homestarmy, soldier!

[edit] After the Homestarmy obtains its required five soldiers

MARZIPAN: Homestar, I told you I don't like you having all your friends over, to watch the game and plan paramilitary operations, without asking me first.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh, you granola bars are all the same! Except for the ones with chocolate chips!
{Marzipan, obviously, doesn't look amused. When the camera switches back to Homestar, he is now shown in his Homestarmy outfit.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: You enjoy your freedom to not wash your hair, and play hackey sack, but aren't willing to put an orange bowl on your head, and wave a spoon around!
MARZIPAN: {very annoyed} Okay, that is it, Homestar. We are THROUGH.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Good!
MARZIPAN: Fine!
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Better! Your side is East Marzistar, and my side is East Homezipan! Midway along the border we'll set up Checkpoint The Cheat.
MARZIPAN: Why don't you just make your own country at your house?
HOMESTAR RUNNER: No way! There's a squirrel in the attic that I sometimes think is a spooky ghost!
MARZIPAN: {walks off} Whatever!
HOMESTAR RUNNER: All right, maggots! Aten... HUT!
{The camera pans around to show all the recruited members for the Homestarmy - Coach Z, Pom Pom, Homsar, Strong Sad and Strong Mad.}
STRONG BAD: You call this a Homestarmy? Somebody's going to have to whip these wastes of panty-waists into shape.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Take it away, Your Dryness! Just lemme know when you want to start attacking the castle!

[edit] Prep Talk

STRONG BAD: Has anyone seen my contact lens?
STRONG BAD: No retreat! No surrender! Double impact! Timecop!
STRONG BAD: All right, men. It's time to put up or shut up. Actually, just shut up.
STRONG BAD: We've got to hit him where all old people are the weakest: right in the paunch.
STRONG BAD: This, men, will be our finest hour. (Ugh, I hope this doesn't take an hour.)
STRONG BAD: The Of Town's forces are mightier than his monthly Danish bill.
STRONG BAD: We must strike the castle with back alley surgical precision.
STRONG BAD: Do you want to die a hero, or live as a dead hoagie?
STRONG BAD: They will be expecting a well-organized and disciplined invasion force. So... we'll have surprise on our side.
STRONG BAD: The castle's defences are weakest in its tastebuds and its... {flinches} ...uvula.
STRONG BAD: Shrieking and crying are perfectly acceptable responses to an attack.
STRONG BAD: The first thing you'll notice about The Of Town is that he smells like fresh-baked breads. Do not be fooled!

[edit] Prep talk → Coach Z

STRONG BAD: Do I make myself clear?
COACH Z: Sore, yes sore!

[edit] Prep talk → Pom Pom

STRONG BAD: Am I BORING you, private?
POM POM: {bubbles attentively}

[edit] Prep talk → Homsar

STRONG BAD: Have something to share with the rest of the class?
HOMSAR: Daaaahhhh, I'm the local Leroy!

[edit] Prep talk → Strong Sad

STRONG BAD: Do you WANT to die, soldier?
STRONG SAD: {ponders} Hmmm... well...

[edit] Prep talk → Strong Mad

STRONG BAD: Shape up, private!
STRONG MAD: {upset} SORRY SIR! {straightens himself up}

[edit] Prep talk → Homestar Runner

HOMESTAR RUNNER: You ready to take on the Of Town, chief? {pronounced as it's written}
[edit] Homestar Runner → No King of Town
STRONG BAD: Nah, these clowns still need to be toughened up.
[edit] Homestar Runner → The King of Town

This scene can also be seen by getting all five Homestarmy members at attention.

STRONG BAD: On to the castle! Death to the Of Town!
STRONG MAD: ATTACK!
THE CHEAT: {determined The Cheat noises}
POM POM: {bubbles confidently}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: {imitating gunfire} Ptoo! Ptoo!
COACH Z: Vive le Revelation!
{Everyone goes over the fence and runs towards the Castle, with Strong Bad leading the group. Eventually, the charge comes to a freeze frame, before it transforms itself into a slightly grayed poster with the remark "Believe in YOURSELF" written on it. The player is taken to the Castle at this point.}
Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People
Produced by Telltale Games and Videlectrix
Promotional Media

Strong Bad Gameways, Advertisement, Gameplay Trailer, Tech Demo, Dev Blog, Workin' on the Game,
Behind The Bad (1, 2, 3), Make a Scene with Telltale: Strong Bad Edition, Collector's DVD, Interviews

All Episodes

Tutorial, WiiWare Intros

Episode 1:
Homestar Ruiner

Gameplay: Walkthrough, Snake Boxer 5, Teen Girl Squad
Responses: House of Strong, Marzipan's, K.o.T. Castle, The Track, The Field
Promotional Media: Homestar at the Track, Around the Field, Behind The Bad Chapter 1: The New Hire
Songs: Handle My Style, Fluffy Puff Jela-ton, Showdown

Episode 2:
Strong Badia the Free

Gameplay: Walkthrough, Math Kickers, Cave Girl Squad, Maps and Minions
Various: Countries, Homsartifacts
Responses: Bleak House, The Field, Homsar Reservation, Pompomerania, Country, Marzistar, The Castle
Promotional Media: Gameplay Trailer
Songs: Justice Combo Meal

Episode 3:
Baddest of the Bands

Gameplay: Walkthrough, Limozeen's Hot Babelien Odyssey, Teen Girl Squad Meets Limozeen
Various: Bands
Responses: House of Strong, The Field, Marzipan's, Club Technochocolate, The Track, Battle of the Bands stages
Promotional Media: Gameplay Trailer, Behind The Bad Chapter 2: The Heist, Promo, baddestofthebands.com
Songs: Food-Related Love, Cool Tapes songs, Other songs

Episode 4:
Dangeresque 3:
The Criminal Projective

Gameplay: Walkthrough, Space Circus Catastrophe
Responses: Smoky Office, Brainblow City, Strongborneo, Secret Lab, Catacombs, Old Club, Cutesy's House, World Locations, The Sun
Promotional Media: Dangeresque: Puppet Squad, Gameplay Clips, Mini-Site
Songs: Today is Alright 4 2Nite

Episode 5:
8-Bit is Enough

Gameplay: Walkthrough, Gel-Arshie's Pro Fruitboarder, Redcoat Ghost Patrol, Trogdor's 3D-Ungeon
Various: Character Variations, Spirits of '76, Halfathlon
Responses: House of Strong, The Field, Crates, Videlectrix Mainframe, Halfathlon, Gel-Arshie's Backstage, Stinkoman 20X6, Peasantry
Promotional Media: Behind The Bad Chapter 3: The Last Straw

Retrieved from "http://www.hrwiki.org/wiki/Strong_Badia_the_Free_Responses_(Marzistar)"
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