Strong Badia the Free Responses (Country)

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[[Image:SBCG4AP_Country.PNG|thumb|"The Cheat, did you let Strong Mad take my Taranchula standee?"]]
+
[[Image:SBCG4AP_Country.PNG|thumb|"Next on the itinery of doom: the savage, war-like people of Country!"]]
[[Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People]] has many responses when you talk to various characters and interact with various objects. These are the responses from [[Stone Bridge|Country]] in [[Strong Badia the Free]].
[[Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People]] has many responses when you talk to various characters and interact with various objects. These are the responses from [[Stone Bridge|Country]] in [[Strong Badia the Free]].
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{{SBCG4AP Responses notation legend}}
{{SBCG4AP Responses notation legend}}
-
==When arriving for the first time==
+
==Country==
-
 
+
===On first arrival===
-
''{camera pans towards Strong Mad next to the Stone Bridge, complete with grainular film effect}''
+
:''{Grainy camera footage pans towards Strong Mad next to the Stone Bridge}''
-
 
+
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{voiceover}'' Next on the itinery of doom: the savage, war-like people of Country!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{voiceover}'' Next on the itinery of doom: the savage, war-like people of Country!
-
 
+
:''{Close-up on Country's flag; the grainy film effect stops.}''
-
''{close-up on Country's flag; film grain effect stops}''
+
-
 
+
:'''STRONG BAD:''' "Country"? ''{pops his head up}'' Aww, man, sounds like Strong Mad's gettin' held back another year. And his finger-painting had improved so much.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' "Country"? ''{pops his head up}'' Aww, man, sounds like Strong Mad's gettin' held back another year. And his finger-painting had improved so much.
-
 
+
:''{The grainy film effect resumes as the screen shows Strong Bad waiting under the flag.}''
-
''{the film grain effect resumes as the screen shows Strong Bad waiting under the flag}''
+
-
 
+
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{voiceover}'' I arranged a meeting with their brutal but just warlord. A-let's listen in.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{voiceover}'' I arranged a meeting with their brutal but just warlord. A-let's listen in.
-
 
+
:''{Camera quickly pans over to Strong Mad, with Strong Bad now standing in front of him. The picture becomes normal.}''
-
''{camera quickly pans over to Strong Mad, with Strong Bad now standing in front of hin; film grain effect stops}''
+
-
 
+
:'''STRONG MAD:''' COUNTRY!
:'''STRONG MAD:''' COUNTRY!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Yes, Strong Mad. I know the name. The question is: Do you want to join Strong Badia?
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Yes, Strong Mad. I know the name. The question is: Do you want to join Strong Badia?
:'''STRONG MAD:''' ''{pauses, shifting his eyes from left to right}'' DIPLOMACY!
:'''STRONG MAD:''' ''{pauses, shifting his eyes from left to right}'' DIPLOMACY!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' This is never gonna work.  I'm a-gonna need a translator.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' This is never gonna work.  I'm a-gonna need a translator.
-
 
+
:''{The Cheat walks in from the left.}''
-
''{The Cheat walks in from the left}''
+
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Ah, there you are, The Cheat! Ask Genghis Khan't here if he wants to join Strong Badia.
-
 
+
-
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Ah, there you are, The Cheat! Ask Ghengis Khan't here if he wants to join Strong Badia.
+
:'''THE CHEAT:''' ''{turns around and faces Strong Mad}'' Meh meh. Meh meh meh?
:'''THE CHEAT:''' ''{turns around and faces Strong Mad}'' Meh meh. Meh meh meh?
:'''STRONG MAD:''' ''{pause}'' THE CHEAT'S MY BEST FRIEND!
:'''STRONG MAD:''' ''{pause}'' THE CHEAT'S MY BEST FRIEND!
Line 34: Line 25:
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{sarcastically}'' Ah! So you're his best friend. It's all starting to make sense.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{sarcastically}'' Ah! So you're his best friend. It's all starting to make sense.
-
==Strong Mad==
+
===Strong Mad===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' My empire could use a mighty warrior like you.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' My empire could use a mighty warrior like you.
:'''STRONG MAD:''' STOP THE VIOLENCE!
:'''STRONG MAD:''' STOP THE VIOLENCE!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I think he'd pay more attention to The Cheat.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I think he'd pay more attention to The Cheat.
 +
:{{short hr}}
 +
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I think he'd pay more attention to The Cheat.
 +
 +
===Stone Bridge===
 +
'''These scenes can only be seen if Strong Mad isn't using the Taranchula standee.'''
 +
:'''STRONG MAD:''' NONE SHALL PASS!
 +
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Strong Maddy Goat's too gruff to let me cross. I'm gonna have to try the diplomatic route.
 +
:{{short hr}}
 +
:'''STRONG MAD:''' NONE SHALL PASS!
-
==The Cheat==
+
===The Cheat===
-
===The Cheat → Strong Badia===
+
====The Cheat → Strong Badia====
:'''STRONG BAD:''' The Cheat, ask what it's gonna take to get the Big Guy to join Strong Badia.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' The Cheat, ask what it's gonna take to get the Big Guy to join Strong Badia.
:'''THE CHEAT:''' ''{faces Strong Mad}'' Mezeh meh. Mezeh meh?
:'''THE CHEAT:''' ''{faces Strong Mad}'' Mezeh meh. Mezeh meh?
Line 53: Line 53:
:'''THE CHEAT:''' Meh meh!
:'''THE CHEAT:''' Meh meh!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' But where is this...
:'''STRONG BAD:''' But where is this...
-
 
+
:''{Strong Mad disappears}''
-
''{Strong Mad disappears}''
+
-
 
+
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ...Strong Mad?
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ...Strong Mad?
:'''STRONG MAD:''' FIGHT THE TARANCHULA!
:'''STRONG MAD:''' FIGHT THE TARANCHULA!
-
 
+
:''{Ominous music plays as the "Taranchula" is revealed - Strong Mad standing behind a Taranchula standee, holding two small red and blue head cut-outs above its body.}''
-
''{ominous music plays as the "Taranchula" is revealed - Strong Mad standing behind a Taranchula standee, holding two small red and blue spider cut-outs above its body}''
+
-
 
+
:'''STRONG MAD:''' TARANCHULA! ARRRRRGGHH!
:'''STRONG MAD:''' TARANCHULA! ARRRRRGGHH!
-
===The Cheat → The Cheat===
+
====The Cheat → The Cheat====
:'''STRONG BAD:''' How are things progressing back in the Homeland?
:'''STRONG BAD:''' How are things progressing back in the Homeland?
:'''THE CHEAT:''' ''{raises an arm in the air}'' Mezeh meh meh Mezeh meh!
:'''THE CHEAT:''' ''{raises an arm in the air}'' Mezeh meh meh Mezeh meh!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Anti-war protests from the tire, eh? I don't gotta explain my foreign policy to some left-leaning road-hugger! That guy needs to be re-aligned!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Anti-war protests from the tire, eh? I don't gotta explain my foreign policy to some left-leaning road-hugger! That guy needs to be re-aligned!
-
{{short hr}}
+
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' The Empire cannot allow dissidents! Those are bad, right? When you get back to Strong Badia, I demand you wrap the tire in chains!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' The Empire cannot allow dissidents! Those are bad, right? When you get back to Strong Badia, I demand you wrap the tire in chains!
:'''THE CHEAT:''' ''{raises the other arm in the air}'' Mehezemehmeh meh meh meh?
:'''THE CHEAT:''' ''{raises the other arm in the air}'' Mehezemehmeh meh meh meh?
Line 73: Line 69:
:'''THE CHEAT:''' ''{disappointed}'' Mawwww.
:'''THE CHEAT:''' ''{disappointed}'' Mawwww.
-
===The Cheat → The King of Town===
+
====The Cheat → The King of Town====
:'''STRONG BAD:''' What do you think of our slovenly enemy, The Of Town?
:'''STRONG BAD:''' What do you think of our slovenly enemy, The Of Town?
:'''THE CHEAT:''' Mezeh meh meh MEH meh MEH!
:'''THE CHEAT:''' Mezeh meh meh MEH meh MEH!
Line 80: Line 76:
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Yes, The Cheat. War IS that word you just said.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Yes, The Cheat. War IS that word you just said.
-
===The Cheat → Taranchula Standee===
+
====The Cheat → Taranchula Standee====
:'''STRONG BAD:''' The Cheat, did you let Strong Mad take my Taranchula standee?
:'''STRONG BAD:''' The Cheat, did you let Strong Mad take my Taranchula standee?
:'''THE CHEAT:''' Meh, meh meh.
:'''THE CHEAT:''' Meh, meh meh.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' That's from their sold-out "A December to Dismember" tour. I had to bribe 3 roadies, 2 guitar techs, and like a dozen dark wizards just to get backstage to steal that thing! If that thing gets messed up...
:'''STRONG BAD:''' That's from their sold-out "A December to Dismember" tour. I had to bribe 3 roadies, 2 guitar techs, and like a dozen dark wizards just to get backstage to steal that thing! If that thing gets messed up...
-
==Taranchula Standee==
+
===Taranchula Standee===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Quake in the face of pure awesomeness, foul creature!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Quake in the face of pure awesomeness, foul creature!
:'''STRONG MAD:''' RAAAR!! TARANCHULA!!
:'''STRONG MAD:''' RAAAR!! TARANCHULA!!
Line 91: Line 87:
:'''STRONG MAD:''' ''{After Strong Bad touches the standee}'' RAAAR!! TARANCHULA!!
:'''STRONG MAD:''' ''{After Strong Bad touches the standee}'' RAAAR!! TARANCHULA!!
-
===Katana → Taranchula Standee===
+
====Fake Sword → Taranchula Standee====
 +
:'''STRONG BAD:''' If this fake sword is intended to NOT hurt fat nerds dressed like mages and paladins, I doubt it'll do the job on this cardboard. I'll need something sharper... and much much cooler.
 +
 
 +
====Katana → Taranchula Standee====
:'''STRONG BAD:''' A body blow would be useless against the beast... ''{turns around, facing the camera}'' ...and ruin the resale value of a totally awesome stolen concert souvenir.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' A body blow would be useless against the beast... ''{turns around, facing the camera}'' ...and ruin the resale value of a totally awesome stolen concert souvenir.
 +
'''While Strong Mad is regenerating a head'''
 +
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Nah, I think I need to slice, dice or julienne those goofy heads to vanquish this cardboard foe.
 +
 +
====Lighter → Taranchula Standee====
 +
:'''STRONG BAD:''' No WAY am I gonna burn that thing! It's a family heirloom ''{small fake accent on "heir"}''.
-
===After one Head gets cut off===
+
====After one Head gets cut off====
:''{Strong Mad alternates between holding the remaining Head in place and squirting ketchup "blood" behind where the other Head was.}''
:''{Strong Mad alternates between holding the remaining Head in place and squirting ketchup "blood" behind where the other Head was.}''
 +
=====If the Fire Head was destroyed first=====
:'''STRONG MAD:''' RAWR! TARANCHULA! TARANCHULA!
:'''STRONG MAD:''' RAWR! TARANCHULA! TARANCHULA!
 +
=====If the Ice Head was destroyed first=====
 +
:'''STRONG MAD:''' IT STILL LIVES! TARANCHULA!
-
===After both Heads get cut off===
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====After both Heads get cut off====
:'''STRONG MAD:''' RAAWWRRRR!  ''{distressed}'' WHY, STRONG BAD, WHY?!?  Aaarrrrggghhhhh...
:'''STRONG MAD:''' RAAWWRRRR!  ''{distressed}'' WHY, STRONG BAD, WHY?!?  Aaarrrrggghhhhh...
-
''{The Standee falls forward in slow motion.}''
+
:''{The Standee falls forward in slow motion.}''
:'''THE CHEAT:''' ''{joyous}'' Meh mezeh meh! Meh ze Meh!
:'''THE CHEAT:''' ''{joyous}'' Meh mezeh meh! Meh ze Meh!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' The great beast will live on in the recycling bin of our hearts.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' The great beast will live on in the recycling bin of our hearts.
-
 
+
:''{Wipe transition to the other side of the bridge.}''
-
''{Cue wipe transition to the other side of the bridge}''
+
-
 
+
:'''STRONG MAD:''' ''{referring to a rock with a face near The Cheat's feet}'' BRING TONY STONY!
:'''STRONG MAD:''' ''{referring to a rock with a face near The Cheat's feet}'' BRING TONY STONY!
:'''THE CHEAT:''' Meh meh mezehmeh.
:'''THE CHEAT:''' Meh meh mezehmeh.
-
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Oh, uh. Tony Stony's your... Vice President. I see. Uh, sure, he can come along, Strong Mad. ''{picks up the rock, showing obvious signs of struggling}'' Erggghhh... unnnnnhhh... ''{places it into Hammerspace}'' Man, Tony Stony's put on some pounds since he's been in office.
+
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Oh, uh. Tony Stony's your... Vice President. I see. Uh, sure, he can come along, Strong Mad. ''{He picks up the rock, showing obvious signs of struggling}'' Erggghhh... unnnnnhhh... ''{stores it away}'' Man, Tony Stony's put on some pounds since he's been in office.
-
 
+
:''{Cue the old-timey music as the screen focuses on the map, with Country now turning red.}''
-
''{cue old-timey music as the screen focuses on the map, with Country now turning red}''
+
-
 
+
:'''ANNOUNCER:''' Dateline: Country! Once a proud land filled with proud person, this developing nation now waves a new flag: the Strong Badian Empire's. Their army taken over, their most endangered species driven to extinction. What can stop this Red Menace? ''{pronounced "Mena-chay"}'' Er, menace. Red menace. Sorry. Thought that was an Italian word.
:'''ANNOUNCER:''' Dateline: Country! Once a proud land filled with proud person, this developing nation now waves a new flag: the Strong Badian Empire's. Their army taken over, their most endangered species driven to extinction. What can stop this Red Menace? ''{pronounced "Mena-chay"}'' Er, menace. Red menace. Sorry. Thought that was an Italian word.
 +
:''{The player is automatically taken to Marzistar after this scene.}''
-
''{The player is automatically taken to Marzistar after this scene.}''
+
===Papier Mache Skulls===
-
 
+
-
==Papier Mache Skulls==
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:'''STRONG BAD:''' Gruesome papier mache skulls of the Taranchula's gruesome papier mache victims. Wonder how he got Marzipan to make that for him.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Gruesome papier mache skulls of the Taranchula's gruesome papier mache victims. Wonder how he got Marzipan to make that for him.
:'''STRONG MAD:''' I HELPED WITH HER INCOME TAX!
:'''STRONG MAD:''' I HELPED WITH HER INCOME TAX!
-
{{short hr}}
+
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Gruesome papier mache skulls of the Taranchula's gruesome papier mache victims.  
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Gruesome papier mache skulls of the Taranchula's gruesome papier mache victims.  
-
===Lighter → Papier Mache Skulls===
+
'''After the skulls have been set on fire'''
 +
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{view of the moon}'' The moon in the sky, a gentle breeze... ''{view of the river}'' ...the waves lapping the shore... ''{view of Strong Bad looking at the skulls}'' ...and a pile of flaming skulls. It's downright homey.
 +
:''{A Peacey P record entitled "Downright Homey" featuring the Traitorous Coach Z appears on screen.}''
 +
 
 +
====Lighter → Papier Mache Skulls====
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{surprised}'' Whoa! That papier is almost as flammable as regular, manly paper!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{surprised}'' Whoa! That papier is almost as flammable as regular, manly paper!
 +
'''After being set on fire'''
 +
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Those are already as on fire as a pile of skulls can get.
-
 
+
===Fire Head===
-
==Fire Head==
+
:'''STRONG MAD:''' ''{After Strong Bad tries to reach for it}'' FIRE BREATH!
:'''STRONG MAD:''' ''{After Strong Bad tries to reach for it}'' FIRE BREATH!
-
===Katana → Fire Head===
+
====Lighter → Fire Head====
-
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Have at thee! ''{cuts off the Ice Head from the rest of the standee}''
+
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I don't wanna risk burninating the whole thing. I'm gonna have to find a way to get that head away from Strong Mad first.
-
:'''STRONG MAD:''' ''{holds onto the Ice Head}'' Awww. ''{uses both hands to hold it back into place}'' IT REGROWS! THE HEAD REGROWS!
+
:{{short hr}}
 +
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I'm gonna have to find a way to get that head away from Strong Mad first.
 +
 
 +
====Katana → Fire Head====
 +
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Have at thee!  
 +
:''{Strong Bad cuts off the Fire Head from the rest of the standee.}''
 +
:'''STRONG MAD:''' ''{holds onto the Fire Head}'' Awww. ''{uses both hands to hold it back into place}'' IT REGROWS! THE HEAD REGROWS!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' The head regrows? No fair!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' The head regrows? No fair!
-
{{short hr}}
+
'''While Strong Mad pays more attention to the other side of the standee
-
'''While Strong Mad is fixing the Ice Head back on'''
+
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Die, you corrugated fiend!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Die, you corrugated fiend!
-
''{Strong Bad cuts off the Fire Head, leaving it to fall into the river.}''
+
:''{Strong Bad cuts off the Fire Head, leaving it to fall into the river.}''
-
:'''STRONG MAD:''' ''{disappointed}'' Awwww. ''{uses a ketchup bottle to emulate blood coming out from where it once was held}''
+
:'''STRONG MAD:''' ''{disappointed}'' Awwww. ''{Uses a ketchup bottle to simulate blood coming out from where it once was held.}''
-
==Ice Head==
+
===Ice Head===
:'''STRONG MAD:''' ''{After Strong Bad tries to reach for it}'' ICE BREATH!
:'''STRONG MAD:''' ''{After Strong Bad tries to reach for it}'' ICE BREATH!
-
===Katana → Ice Head===
+
====Lighter → Ice Head====
-
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Death swipe! ''{cuts off the Ice Head from the rest of the standee}''
+
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I don't wanna risk burninating the whole thing. I'm gonna have to find a way to get that head away from Strong Mad first.
 +
:{{short hr}}
 +
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I'm gonna have to find a way to get that head away from Strong Mad first.
 +
 
 +
====Katana → Ice Head====
 +
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Death swipe!  
 +
:''{Strong Bad cuts off the Ice Head from the rest of the standee.}''
:'''STRONG MAD:''' ''{holds onto the Ice Head}'' Awww. ''{uses both hands to hold it back into place}'' IT REGROWS! THE HEAD REGROWS!
:'''STRONG MAD:''' ''{holds onto the Ice Head}'' Awww. ''{uses both hands to hold it back into place}'' IT REGROWS! THE HEAD REGROWS!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' The head regrows? No fair!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' The head regrows? No fair!
-
{{short hr}}
 
'''While Strong Mad pays more attention to the other side of the standee'''
'''While Strong Mad pays more attention to the other side of the standee'''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Sword to the neck! ''{cuts off the Ice Head, leaving it to fall onto the papier mache skulls}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Sword to the neck! ''{cuts off the Ice Head, leaving it to fall onto the papier mache skulls}''
:'''STRONG MAD:''' ''{recovers the Ice Head}'' CUT IT OUT!
:'''STRONG MAD:''' ''{recovers the Ice Head}'' CUT IT OUT!
-
{{short hr}}
 
'''While Strong Mad pays more attention to the other side of the standee, and when the Papier Mache Skulls are on fire'''
'''While Strong Mad pays more attention to the other side of the standee, and when the Papier Mache Skulls are on fire'''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Your reign of terror ends here! ''{cuts off the Ice Head, leaving it to fall onto the skulls and catch fire}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Your reign of terror ends here! ''{cuts off the Ice Head, leaving it to fall onto the skulls and catch fire}''
-
:'''STRONG MAD:''' ''{disappointed}'' Awwww. ''{uses a ketchup bottle to emulate blood coming out from where it once was held}''
+
:'''STRONG MAD:''' ''{disappointed}'' Awwww. ''{uses a ketchup bottle to simulate blood coming out from where it once was held}''
-
==Lone Skull==
+
===Lone Skull===
 +
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Gruesome arts-and-craftiness. Ooh! And this week's jumble!
 +
'''After being set on fire'''
 +
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{monotonously}'' If elected Evil Emperor, I promise a flaming skull in every country.  ''{speaks normally}'' And soda in the water fountains.
-
===Lighter → Lone Skull===
+
====Lighter → Lone Skull====
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{burns the skull}'' We will cleanse the earth with fire!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{burns the skull}'' We will cleanse the earth with fire!
 +
'''After being set on fire'''
 +
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Like all good things, that is already on fire.
-
==Lonely Skull==
+
===Lonely Skull===
 +
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Arts-and-craftsy gruesomeness. Ooh! And last week's jumble!
 +
'''After being set on fire'''
 +
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Still burnin'. Man, Marzipan must've soaked that papier mache in rocket fuel or something.
-
===Lighter → Lonely Skull===
+
====Lighter → Lonely Skull====
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{burns the skull}'' Buuuuuuurrrrrrnnnn...!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{burns the skull}'' Buuuuuuurrrrrrnnnn...!
 +
'''After being set on fire'''
 +
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Like all good things, that is already on fire.
-
==Country Flag==
+
===Country Flag===
-
===Metal Detector → under Country Flag===
+
 
 +
====Metal Detector → Below County Flag====
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{after digging what was underneath it}'' A souvenir flag from Country! As exquisitely crafted as the real thing, right down to the drool stains.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{after digging what was underneath it}'' A souvenir flag from Country! As exquisitely crafted as the real thing, right down to the drool stains.
-
 
+
{{SBCG4AP|responses}}
-
{{stub}}
+
-
 
+
-
{{SBCG4AP}}
+
-
 
+
-
[[Category:Video Game Responses]]
+

Current revision as of 05:57, 7 March 2023

"Next on the itinery of doom: the savage, war-like people of Country!"

Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People has many responses when you talk to various characters and interact with various objects. These are the responses from Country in Strong Badia the Free.

On these pages, A → B (right arrow) means that the response happens when object A is used on thing B, or in the case of talking to other characters, the indicated sequence of chat topic icons are chosen.


A short horizontal line between two or more responses, such as the one above, means only one of the responses is heard at a time, and that the action results in a different response each time it occurs.


Contents

[edit] Country

[edit] On first arrival

{Grainy camera footage pans towards Strong Mad next to the Stone Bridge}
STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Next on the itinery of doom: the savage, war-like people of Country!
{Close-up on Country's flag; the grainy film effect stops.}
STRONG BAD: "Country"? {pops his head up} Aww, man, sounds like Strong Mad's gettin' held back another year. And his finger-painting had improved so much.
{The grainy film effect resumes as the screen shows Strong Bad waiting under the flag.}
STRONG BAD: {voiceover} I arranged a meeting with their brutal but just warlord. A-let's listen in.
{Camera quickly pans over to Strong Mad, with Strong Bad now standing in front of him. The picture becomes normal.}
STRONG MAD: COUNTRY!
STRONG BAD: Yes, Strong Mad. I know the name. The question is: Do you want to join Strong Badia?
STRONG MAD: {pauses, shifting his eyes from left to right} DIPLOMACY!
STRONG BAD: This is never gonna work. I'm a-gonna need a translator.
{The Cheat walks in from the left.}
STRONG BAD: Ah, there you are, The Cheat! Ask Genghis Khan't here if he wants to join Strong Badia.
THE CHEAT: {turns around and faces Strong Mad} Meh meh. Meh meh meh?
STRONG MAD: {pause} THE CHEAT'S MY BEST FRIEND!
THE CHEAT: {turns back towards Strong Bad} Meh meh mezehmeh.
STRONG BAD: {sarcastically} Ah! So you're his best friend. It's all starting to make sense.

[edit] Strong Mad

STRONG BAD: My empire could use a mighty warrior like you.
STRONG MAD: STOP THE VIOLENCE!
STRONG BAD: I think he'd pay more attention to The Cheat.

STRONG BAD: I think he'd pay more attention to The Cheat.

[edit] Stone Bridge

These scenes can only be seen if Strong Mad isn't using the Taranchula standee.

STRONG MAD: NONE SHALL PASS!
STRONG BAD: Strong Maddy Goat's too gruff to let me cross. I'm gonna have to try the diplomatic route.

STRONG MAD: NONE SHALL PASS!

[edit] The Cheat

[edit] The Cheat → Strong Badia

STRONG BAD: The Cheat, ask what it's gonna take to get the Big Guy to join Strong Badia.
THE CHEAT: {faces Strong Mad} Mezeh meh. Mezeh meh?
STRONG MAD: MIGHTY WARRIOR!
THE CHEAT: {faces Strong Bad} Meh me mezeh meh.
STRONG BAD: A test of strength and valor? No prob. I cheat on those all the time.
THE CHEAT: Mezeh, mezeh meh.
STRONG BAD: A terrible monster laying waste to yonder countryside?
THE CHEAT: Meh mezehmeh.
STRONG BAD: So, I gotta slay the monster and prove myself a mighty warrior.
THE CHEAT: Meh meh!
STRONG BAD: But where is this...
{Strong Mad disappears}
STRONG BAD: ...Strong Mad?
STRONG MAD: FIGHT THE TARANCHULA!
{Ominous music plays as the "Taranchula" is revealed - Strong Mad standing behind a Taranchula standee, holding two small red and blue head cut-outs above its body.}
STRONG MAD: TARANCHULA! ARRRRRGGHH!

[edit] The Cheat → The Cheat

STRONG BAD: How are things progressing back in the Homeland?
THE CHEAT: {raises an arm in the air} Mezeh meh meh Mezeh meh!
STRONG BAD: Anti-war protests from the tire, eh? I don't gotta explain my foreign policy to some left-leaning road-hugger! That guy needs to be re-aligned!

STRONG BAD: The Empire cannot allow dissidents! Those are bad, right? When you get back to Strong Badia, I demand you wrap the tire in chains!
THE CHEAT: {raises the other arm in the air} Mehezemehmeh meh meh meh?
STRONG BAD: No, we're not going snowboarding in the Coches Mountains.
THE CHEAT: {disappointed} Mawwww.

[edit] The Cheat → The King of Town

STRONG BAD: What do you think of our slovenly enemy, The Of Town?
THE CHEAT: Mezeh meh meh MEH meh MEH!
STRONG BAD: The Cheat! I made you a Secret Sauce Policeman, not a sailor! Where'd you learn to talk like that?
THE CHEAT: Me ze meh.
STRONG BAD: Yes, The Cheat. War IS that word you just said.

[edit] The Cheat → Taranchula Standee

STRONG BAD: The Cheat, did you let Strong Mad take my Taranchula standee?
THE CHEAT: Meh, meh meh.
STRONG BAD: That's from their sold-out "A December to Dismember" tour. I had to bribe 3 roadies, 2 guitar techs, and like a dozen dark wizards just to get backstage to steal that thing! If that thing gets messed up...

[edit] Taranchula Standee

STRONG BAD: Quake in the face of pure awesomeness, foul creature!
STRONG MAD: RAAAR!! TARANCHULA!!

STRONG MAD: {After Strong Bad touches the standee} RAAAR!! TARANCHULA!!

[edit] Fake Sword → Taranchula Standee

STRONG BAD: If this fake sword is intended to NOT hurt fat nerds dressed like mages and paladins, I doubt it'll do the job on this cardboard. I'll need something sharper... and much much cooler.

[edit] Katana → Taranchula Standee

STRONG BAD: A body blow would be useless against the beast... {turns around, facing the camera} ...and ruin the resale value of a totally awesome stolen concert souvenir.

While Strong Mad is regenerating a head

STRONG BAD: Nah, I think I need to slice, dice or julienne those goofy heads to vanquish this cardboard foe.

[edit] Lighter → Taranchula Standee

STRONG BAD: No WAY am I gonna burn that thing! It's a family heirloom {small fake accent on "heir"}.

[edit] After one Head gets cut off

{Strong Mad alternates between holding the remaining Head in place and squirting ketchup "blood" behind where the other Head was.}
[edit] If the Fire Head was destroyed first
STRONG MAD: RAWR! TARANCHULA! TARANCHULA!
[edit] If the Ice Head was destroyed first
STRONG MAD: IT STILL LIVES! TARANCHULA!

[edit] After both Heads get cut off

STRONG MAD: RAAWWRRRR! {distressed} WHY, STRONG BAD, WHY?!? Aaarrrrggghhhhh...
{The Standee falls forward in slow motion.}
THE CHEAT: {joyous} Meh mezeh meh! Meh ze Meh!
STRONG BAD: The great beast will live on in the recycling bin of our hearts.
{Wipe transition to the other side of the bridge.}
STRONG MAD: {referring to a rock with a face near The Cheat's feet} BRING TONY STONY!
THE CHEAT: Meh meh mezehmeh.
STRONG BAD: Oh, uh. Tony Stony's your... Vice President. I see. Uh, sure, he can come along, Strong Mad. {He picks up the rock, showing obvious signs of struggling} Erggghhh... unnnnnhhh... {stores it away} Man, Tony Stony's put on some pounds since he's been in office.
{Cue the old-timey music as the screen focuses on the map, with Country now turning red.}
ANNOUNCER: Dateline: Country! Once a proud land filled with proud person, this developing nation now waves a new flag: the Strong Badian Empire's. Their army taken over, their most endangered species driven to extinction. What can stop this Red Menace? {pronounced "Mena-chay"} Er, menace. Red menace. Sorry. Thought that was an Italian word.
{The player is automatically taken to Marzistar after this scene.}

[edit] Papier Mache Skulls

STRONG BAD: Gruesome papier mache skulls of the Taranchula's gruesome papier mache victims. Wonder how he got Marzipan to make that for him.
STRONG MAD: I HELPED WITH HER INCOME TAX!

STRONG BAD: Gruesome papier mache skulls of the Taranchula's gruesome papier mache victims.

After the skulls have been set on fire

STRONG BAD: {view of the moon} The moon in the sky, a gentle breeze... {view of the river} ...the waves lapping the shore... {view of Strong Bad looking at the skulls} ...and a pile of flaming skulls. It's downright homey.
{A Peacey P record entitled "Downright Homey" featuring the Traitorous Coach Z appears on screen.}

[edit] Lighter → Papier Mache Skulls

STRONG BAD: {surprised} Whoa! That papier is almost as flammable as regular, manly paper!

After being set on fire

STRONG BAD: Those are already as on fire as a pile of skulls can get.

[edit] Fire Head

STRONG MAD: {After Strong Bad tries to reach for it} FIRE BREATH!

[edit] Lighter → Fire Head

STRONG BAD: I don't wanna risk burninating the whole thing. I'm gonna have to find a way to get that head away from Strong Mad first.

STRONG BAD: I'm gonna have to find a way to get that head away from Strong Mad first.

[edit] Katana → Fire Head

STRONG BAD: Have at thee!
{Strong Bad cuts off the Fire Head from the rest of the standee.}
STRONG MAD: {holds onto the Fire Head} Awww. {uses both hands to hold it back into place} IT REGROWS! THE HEAD REGROWS!
STRONG BAD: The head regrows? No fair!

While Strong Mad pays more attention to the other side of the standee

STRONG BAD: Die, you corrugated fiend!
{Strong Bad cuts off the Fire Head, leaving it to fall into the river.}
STRONG MAD: {disappointed} Awwww. {Uses a ketchup bottle to simulate blood coming out from where it once was held.}

[edit] Ice Head

STRONG MAD: {After Strong Bad tries to reach for it} ICE BREATH!

[edit] Lighter → Ice Head

STRONG BAD: I don't wanna risk burninating the whole thing. I'm gonna have to find a way to get that head away from Strong Mad first.

STRONG BAD: I'm gonna have to find a way to get that head away from Strong Mad first.

[edit] Katana → Ice Head

STRONG BAD: Death swipe!
{Strong Bad cuts off the Ice Head from the rest of the standee.}
STRONG MAD: {holds onto the Ice Head} Awww. {uses both hands to hold it back into place} IT REGROWS! THE HEAD REGROWS!
STRONG BAD: The head regrows? No fair!

While Strong Mad pays more attention to the other side of the standee

STRONG BAD: Sword to the neck! {cuts off the Ice Head, leaving it to fall onto the papier mache skulls}
STRONG MAD: {recovers the Ice Head} CUT IT OUT!

While Strong Mad pays more attention to the other side of the standee, and when the Papier Mache Skulls are on fire

STRONG BAD: Your reign of terror ends here! {cuts off the Ice Head, leaving it to fall onto the skulls and catch fire}
STRONG MAD: {disappointed} Awwww. {uses a ketchup bottle to simulate blood coming out from where it once was held}

[edit] Lone Skull

STRONG BAD: Gruesome arts-and-craftiness. Ooh! And this week's jumble!

After being set on fire

STRONG BAD: {monotonously} If elected Evil Emperor, I promise a flaming skull in every country. {speaks normally} And soda in the water fountains.

[edit] Lighter → Lone Skull

STRONG BAD: {burns the skull} We will cleanse the earth with fire!

After being set on fire

STRONG BAD: Like all good things, that is already on fire.

[edit] Lonely Skull

STRONG BAD: Arts-and-craftsy gruesomeness. Ooh! And last week's jumble!

After being set on fire

STRONG BAD: Still burnin'. Man, Marzipan must've soaked that papier mache in rocket fuel or something.

[edit] Lighter → Lonely Skull

STRONG BAD: {burns the skull} Buuuuuuurrrrrrnnnn...!

After being set on fire

STRONG BAD: Like all good things, that is already on fire.

[edit] Country Flag

[edit] Metal Detector → Below County Flag

STRONG BAD: {after digging what was underneath it} A souvenir flag from Country! As exquisitely crafted as the real thing, right down to the drool stains.
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