secret recipes
From Homestar Runner Wiki
Strong Bad Email #124
Strong Bad reveals some secret family recipes.
Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad, The Cheat, Coach Z, The King of Town, Marzipan, Homestar Runner
Date: February 14, 2005
Contents |
Transcript
STRONG BAD: {singing} Email, na na, na na, na na, nanaNA...
Dear Strong Bad, When we grow up we want to be chefs. We wanted to know if you had any secret family recipes that you would want to share with us so...we can make them! -Melissa and Hillary (from NJ)
{Strong Bad reads "Dear Strong Bad" as "The usual" and "NJ" as "Nigeria"}
STRONG BAD: {typing} Well Mellie, Hillarious, being from Africa I'm sure you guys are used to eating, like, exotic fruits and nectars and, um, lions {clears screen, continues typing} so our recipies may seem a little uncouth. {stops typing} Uncouth. {typing} Can something be just plain couth? I bet freakin' Strong Sad is plain couth. Anyways, Couthy, all our family recipies tend to center around the grossing out of or the making puke of friends and well-wishers.
{The camera cuts back, and we see The Cheat laying on the computer desk flinging floppy disks all over}
STRONG BAD: The Cheat! Let's go try out Great Uncle Pawdabber's Pre-tend Ice Cream Showdown!
THE CHEAT: {The Cheat noises}
{The Cheat stands up. The screen fades to grey and the following text appears}
NARRATOR: Strong Bad may or may not have an actual Great Uncle Pawdabber.
{Cut to the field. Coach Z is standing around holding a basketball}
COACH Z: Man, what is this thing? {bounces it once} A bounce thing?
{Strong Bad and The Cheat enter from the right. Strong Bad is holding what appears to be a bowl of ice cream with yellowish sprinkles, and The Cheat is wearing a towel around his waist}
STRONG BAD: Oh man, The Cheat! Wow! Look at this! It's our best friend, Coach Z. Say there, Coach, would you like to try some of our free ic�d c-cream? It's got toasted coconut!
COACH Z: How could I refuse? {throws the basketball over his shoulder} I can't afford the money-cost variety!
{Coach Z takes the ice cream and starts pigging out on it}
COACH Z: Oooh! Sweet mercy! {eats some more} This is orful! {eats more}
STRONG BAD: Aww, it's OK, Coach. You're the proud new eater of a healthy bowl of sour cream and The Cheat fur.
{Strong Bad pulls away The Cheat's towel to reveal that he's been shaved from the waist down}
THE CHEAT: {The Cheat noises, sounds like "ta-da!"}
COACH Z: {starts making disgusted noises and coughing up fur} Oof! I think I'm going to puke my pants!
STRONG BAD: Ugh! Please don't elaborate on THAT.
COACH Z: Naw, it's easy. I do it all the time! Here, let me show ya's!
STRONG BAD AND THE CHEAT: AUGH!
{Strong Bad and the Cheat run away as Coach Z continues talking}
COACH Z: You take your pants...
{A recipe card appears on screen reading as follows}
Recipe: Great Uncle Pawdabber's Pre-tend Ice Cream Showdown Ingredients: 3 scoops (really) sour cream 1/2 of shaved The Cheat 1 bowl 1 languagely challenged vaguely coach type person Instructions: Mix ingredients until golden brown
STRONG BAD: {voiceover} For best results, dip The Cheat in egg wash before shaving or else he'll get those red shaving bumpies all over him. Ugh.
{Cut to the side of the King of Town's castle}
STRONG BAD: {sotto voce} Alright, we're mixing this next one up on them, The Cheat. I filled this Speed Stick {pulls out some underarm deodorant reading X-treme Glacier} with white chocolate and we'll totally gross out or make puke The King of Town when I start eatin' it in front of him!
THE CHEAT: {affirmative The Cheat noises}
{Cut to inside the castle. The King of Town is watching TV and eating the same type of Speed Stick we saw Strong Bad with. He also has some more underarm deodorants and spray cans in a bowl next to him.}
TV ACTOR: Can you play your guitar, Caleb?
CALEB: I can try!
{Strong Bad and The Cheat enter from the right}
STRONG BAD: Hey Old King Droll! Checka me out! I'm eatin'- oh. Nevermind. Ugh, shoulda known...
{Strong Bad and The Cheat walk out}
THE KING OF TOWN: No wait, you guys! Come back! This stuff is strong enough for a man but TASTY enough for a king! Don't you want to try any Forest Rush? Or Tundra Mist?
{A recipe card spins onscreen reading as follows}
Recipe: Crazy Aunt Eulatherm's Deodorant Doppelganger Ingredients: 6 oz. white chocolate 1/2 of shaved The Cheat (for moral support) 1 kinda cleaned-out De-odor Cake Instructions: Mix ingredients. Preheat oven. Add hot sauce if necessary
STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Yeah, how come deodorants and stuff are always named after biomes anyways?
{Cut to Marzipan's house. Marzipan is sitting on the couch reading The Latest News. Homestar walks in carrying one of Strong Bad's Pre-Tend Ice Cream Showdown bowls.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Hey girlfriend, have you tried any of this free ice cream Strong Bad made?
MARZIPAN: {setting aside her paper, clearly amused} Homestar, didn't anyone tell you? That's, like, cottage cheese and The Cheat hair!
HOMESTAR RUNNER: WHAT?! {does a spit take, producing some fur} Strong Bad told me it was sour CREAM and The Cheat hair! Looks like THIS is a job for Stupid Uncle Egg's Goodtime Diaper Pie!
{Homestar walks offscreen to the left. The screen greys and the following text appears on it}
NARRATOR: Homestar Runner definitely does not have a Stupid Uncle Egg.
{Cut to Strong Bad's computer room. A pinecone and bendy straw are in a bowl with a sign next to it reading "not A pimecone, diaper pie! i mean reg-ular pie." Strong Bad and The Cheat walk in. The Cheat is now wearing yellow post-it notes, some with black dots on them, to try and cover up his shaved area}
STRONG BAD: No, it looks TOTALLY real. I swear, no one will be able to tell! Oh, what's this? {Strong Bad picks up the sign} "Not a pimecone." Well, he's got that right!
{Homestar pokes his head in from the right}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh look, it's my best friends Cheat and the Strong Bad! Hey, I heard you guys been eating some serious regular pie in here!
STRONG BAD: Uh, yeah man! We've even got some left over if you want it.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Well if it's anywhere near as good as your free ice cream!
{Homestar puts the pine cone in his mouth and starts crunching it up. The Cheat and Strong Bad look at each other incredulously}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: {with his mouth full} Well, so long, suckers!
STRONG BAD: {offscreen} It's like, even when we win, he wins.
{Cut back to Strong Bad at the Lappy}
STRONG BAD: {typing} There you go girls. Recipes for the ages. But if you really want to be chefs when you grow up, we've got a super-secret familiy recipe for cooking the C-H-E-blank-T {types this as "C H E _ T"}
{The Cheat makes a very angry noise from offscreen and chucks a floppy disk at Strong Bad's head}
STRONG BAD: Ow! {typing} And of course that blank is for the letter K. The Chekt. My family's got a great recipe for cooking the Chekt. Yeah, yeah. {only types one "yeah} We're mostly from Bumdumbourge. It's near, uh, Totalslava. "Come down off that smokestack and eat your the Chekt!" my poopaw used to say. Ah, my dear poopaw, I miss you so.
{The Paper comes down}
STRONG BAD: {whispering} I think the Cheat bought it. Let me know if you want that recipe.
Easter Eggs
- At the end, click on "grow up" to see a few seconds of the television program the King of Town was watching.
- {cut back to the King of Town's castle. The TV is still on}
- TV ACTOR: Caleb, that hamburger was mine!
- CALEB: It's mine now!
- At the end, click on "C H E _ T" to see the Cheat reading a book.
- At the end, click on "poopaw" to hear what the announcer has to say about a poopaw.
- NARRATOR: I, uh, I don't even know what a poopaw is.
- At the end, click on "the Chekt" to see another recipe.
From the Kitchen of Poopaw Chicken-fried the CHEKT Ingredients: 3 or 7 medium sized the Chekts 2 salt 40 pancakes Instructions: Get down off smokestack. Then cook that ugly thing
Fun Facts
- The disk on Strong Bad's desk, Battle Chess, was a very popular chess program for the Apple IIgs and other systems. Whenever one piece took another, they would come to life and have a brief animated battle.
- The disk The Cheat throws at Strong Bad's head says, "you JERK!"
- The effect used before Strong Bad and Homestar Runner show off their recipes was previously used in radio.
- Homestar eating a pinecone might be a reference to the Simpsons episode "Kamp Krusty", where the kids want to roast marshmallows and are told to eat their pinecones.
- The King of Town's quip about the deodorants being "strong enough for a man" is a reference to deodorant Secret's ad campaign, which states that it's "strong enough for a man, but pH balanced for a woman."
- The body of text on Marzipan's newspaper reads: "It's all true. All the rumors are true. The crime is on the rise in our very own town. Trust me on this one. I know what I'm talking about. No, wait, I don't. I make stuff up sometimes. That's cool, though, right? Good. I'll keep doing it then. It's a lot easy than fact checking. That stuff can be annoying."
- This paragraph repeats eight times to make it appear that the paper is filled with columns.
- This is the identical newspaper tha Marzipan was reading in Strong Bad Is In Jail Cartoon.
- "Old King Droll" is an obvious reference to the nursery rhyme "Old King Cole."
