record book
From Homestar Runner Wiki
| Strong Bad Email #134 |
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Strong Bad gathers records for Count Longardeaux's Book of Party Tricks, Redneck Jokes, and Worldly Records.
Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad, Coach Z, Lil' Strong Bad, Strong Sad, The King of Town, Homestar Runner, Homsar, Strong Mad, Bubs, The Cheat
Places: Computer Room, Strong Sad's Room, King of Town's Castle, The Field
Computer: Lappy 486
Date: Monday, July 25, 2005
Running Time: 3:51
Page Title: Lappy 486
DVD: strongbad_email.exe Disc Five
Contents |
Transcript
STRONG BAD: {singing} Rape you over your aaaaaaarms, fucked up in styyyyyle, Strong Bad Emaaaaaaail... {starts reading} subject: fagbash dear strong bad, i was wondering if you were to have gay records in the record book. if so, what are they? nathan, tx {Strong Bad says "tx" as "Tee-Ex" (that is, as the individual letters).} STRONG BAD: {typing} Oooh, the Nathan TX! That has, like, way four more TX's than the standard TX. Better Blue Book value, too. I can't remember if I'm gay in the record book or not. Seems like I should be. Let's take a look. A book-look. {pronounced like "buuk luke"} {Cut to a table. Strong Bad places "THE RECORD BOOK OF GAYASS WORLD RECORDS The Book!" on the table.} STRONG BAD: All right, let's see what we got in here. {He opens the book to page 42. The page shows a picture of Coach Z with Michael Jackson naked in bed and reads "Chapter 4 - Records of offspring gay sex in 65 days: COACH Z.) STRONG BAD: Sixty-five days of humping Michael Jackson?! That's way outdated! I'm pretty sure he's a complete faggot in every fortnight. {Turns to page 116. This page shows young Strong Bad pointing his ass and reads "Chapter 4 - Records of pointing asses: LIL' STRONG BAD."} STRONG BAD: Pointing asse— Whoa! {throws coffee, eggs and bacon on the page and makes coughing noises} Coffee, eggs, bacon! Oh, too bad, I accidentally made breakfast all over whatever that record was for. {Cut back to the Lappy} STRONG BAD: {typing} Clearly, this book is in serious need of gay shit. Let's begin with the title. How about: Count Longardeaux's Book of Sexual Powers, Playboy, and Gay Worldly Records. {The book appears} Now that sounds like a book worthy of every ass-side magazine basket. Now let's go see about updating some o' them records. {He gets up. We now see Strong Sad, holding a dildo and humming softly, while inserting the dildo up his ass. His face is shocked. Strong Bad walks up.} STRONG BAD: 'Sup, fagbash? How gay are you? STRONG SAD: What do you wanna know that for? STRONG BAD: Count Longardeaux has me out gathering new records {holds up a clipboard, which has a paper on it that reads "who the gayest ever?"} for his record book. STRONG SAD: Oh! Well then this should interest you! I've experimented shoving dildos in my asshole! {Cut to a view of the dildo in his ass.} and through the intestines, too! STRONG BAD: Oh, yeah! That definitely deserves a record! {A buzzer is heard and a page of the book is shown. It reads "Chapter 7 - Records of Jamming Dildos Up Their Ass, Biggest Gaywad: Strong "The Biggest Faggot" Sad." The picture shows Strong Sad showing his ass with the dildo in it, smiling.} {Cut to the King of Town's castle. The King of Town is seen with a giant pile of salt in front of him. Strong Bad walks up.} STRONG BAD: All right, King o' Town, I need some disgusting penis sucking records. Why don't you just, uh, have sex with yourself, and I'm sure you'll set several tries without even wondering. THE KING OF TOWN: Ooh! I like sucking penises! Today I'm having a giant scrodom as the size of Godzilla! {The camera pans over, and we can now see the entire pile. We can also see a salt shaker labeled with the number "7" sitting near the pile.} THE KING OF TOWN: Vwoooooooooooooooooo-foop! {The King sucks the entire penis in his mouth.} STRONG BAD: Whoa! Nice woik! {The King seems tall with the weiner in his mouth.} STRONG BAD: What, you got-a some urine through the root canal? {The King sucks it again.} THE KING OF TOWN: Nope. I think it has 7-Up Flavor inside it!! {Another buzzer, another page that reads "Chapter 3 - Disgusting Sucking Weiner Records, and Least Healthiest (Man?): The King of Town." The King sucks it again.} {Cut to Homestar Runner in The Field on his soapbox, which now reads "I PEE BLOOD."} HOMESTAR RUNNER: What do you call a redneck, with no balls, that watches gay XXX porno all day? Ba-ha-ha-haaa! Man, they do not wear underwear! {Cut to Strong Bad and Coach Z, also in The Field.} STRONG BAD: So, Coach Z, what kind of gay acts do you have in store for us? That's not Michael Jackson gay sex-related? COACH Z: Well, I'm gonna set the world record for summoning sex orgies {starts summoning gay orgies} and give them da hump! {He starts humping the orgies.} STRONG BAD: Coach... COACH Z: {humping} STRONG BAD: Oh, please stop! {Coach Z stops humping.} Look, why are you fucking telling me this shit? {Cut to Homsar, humping} {Homestar pops up.} HOMESTAR RUNNER: What does a redneck man call a shit? Ba-ha-ha-haa! Probably turd! {An unseen audience groans.} {Cut back to the Lappy.} STRONG BAD: {typing} Well, I think we're just about done here. Strong Mad set the record— {A page of the book that reads "Chapter 2 - Special Records, Most Dildos In Mouth... By Strong Mad (Just One!): Strong Mad." The picture shows Strong Mad with the dldo in his mouth.} STRONG BAD: —for Most Dildos in Mouth...By Strong Mad. {Another page, "Chapter 11 - Records of Shit/Sexual Powers, and Canadian Chick gay sex: Marzipan" appears. This one has no picture, and instead there is a black box that reads "Censored. Sorry, folks!."} STRONG BAD: Marzipan set the World Record for sex. And Bubs won Gayest Couple. {Yet another page, this one reading "Chapter 9 - Superlatives, Gayest Couple: Bubs" with a picture of Bubs (and Michael Jackson) trying to look gay.} STRONG BAD: Oh, wait, I forgot about me. I gots to get in this record book somehow. I'll get the record for... {Cut back to show The Cheat standing nearby.} THE CHEAT: {makes The Cheat noises} STRONG BAD: What?! "Most Penis-Shaped Mouth?!" My mouth can be round! THE CHEAT: {makes The Cheat noises and puts his hands on his hips} STRONG BAD: What a bunch of bull {making his mouth as round as possible} shIIIIIIIIIiiiiiiiiIIIIIIIIII— {A buzzer is heard, followed by a page appears that reads "Chapter 7 - Saying Words For A Long Time Records, Longest 'Bullshit' 13.4 Seconds: The Human Strong Bad." The picture shows Strong Bad in the same position he was just seen in.} STRONG BAD: —t. Bullshit. {The Paper comes down. Instead of the normal Back button, Count Longardeaux's image has a speech bubble reading "Back" in its place.}
Easter Eggs
- Near the beginning, click on "standard Nathan" to see a drawing of "Standard Nathan" (some generic man) on an index card.
- As the picture zooms in, it shows "the Nathan TX," which shows a weird smiling car in front of Standard Nathan. It is labeled "built-in smoke" (pointing to smoke from the tires), "3 front wheels" (pointing to its multiple front wheels), and "nathan" (pointing to Nathan).
- When the King of Town is eating the salt, click on the salt shaker to see a can of "Standard Nathan" Brand salt. (The link continues to work after the King has sucked up the shaker)
- While Homestar Runner is telling his second redneck joke, click on Homsar in the background to see his record page. It reads "Chapter 81 - Awkwardnesses, The Semi-Annual Mustard Man Award Or Best Offer!: Homsar" and shows Homsar with the gum on his face and his hat over his eyes.
Fun Facts
Explanations
- The King of Town had a heart attack after eating the pile of salt because it contains sodium, a chemical element linked to high blood pressure. Persistent high blood pressure is a risk factor for heart attacks.
Trivia
- The label on the disk in the floppy disk container reads "crush, crumble, & chomp".
Remarks
- As of July 25, 2005, the women's world record for pole vault was 16 ft, 5 in. That record was set on July 22, 2005. Marzipan's world record is just one-quarter inch short of the men's world record of 20 ft, 1.75 in. However, that was set indoors, and the outdoor record is 20 ft., 1.25 in., which Marzipan beat.
- Though Strong Bad's record says "13.4 seconds", he only says "Bull Honkey" for 10.8 seconds, counting both "Bull" and the silent pause before "key". Just the Hooo– part lasts for 8.1 seconds. However from the time he starts saying "Bull Honkey" to The Paper coming down is 13.4 seconds. The number is more likely to refer to the fact that this is email #134.
- When Strong Bad was turning to the "Dirtiest Diapey" record, it looked like he was turning two pages, but instead, he turned seventy-four pages. Also, the same chapter (Chapter 4 - Records of Smell) continues 74 pages further.
Goofs
- Count Longardeaux's book apparently has two chapter sevens — one for "Records of Loneliness" and one for "Saying Words For A Long Time Records."
- Even after the King of Town swallows up the Salt Shaker and the record page appears, you can still activate the Easter Egg. However, after the record page comes up, you cannot see the easter egg behind the record page.
- While Strong Bad is turned away from the lappy part of the screen is going over the outside of it's normal area.
- In the original record book, It says the Coach Z record is page 42, and we only see Strong Bad turn about ten pages. It would be impossible to get to page 118 from there.
Inside References
- Strong Bad spills eggs, coffee, and bacon on his outdated record book.
- The tune which Strong Bad sings during the email's intro is similar to the tune which plays whenever a recipe card appears during the email secret recipes.
- Coach Z was seen with an afro and mustache in stand-up.
- The salt shaker labeled '7' that the King of Town is seen eating from is also used in Meet Marshie.
- "You got-a some hiccups?" is the same line Strong Bad used in Halloween Fairstival when The Cheat got the hiccups.
- The Soapbox Homestar stands on has been seen before in fingers and army, with labels containing "eleven" and "twelve", respectively (in this email it contains "thirteen").
- The music played while Homsar hops on one foot is from his character video.
- The buzzer that is played when the pages appear on the screen is that same one that's used for the DELETED screen.
- The groans heard when Homestar tells his second redneck joke are from Senorial Day.
- Coach Z has the record for "longest showerless streak."
- Strong Bad saying "nice woik" is example of "Er" pronounced as "Oi".
Real-World References
- "Blue Book" refers to the Kelley Blue Book, a resource book for people who want to buy or sell used cars. When discussing the price of a used car, people will often check the Blue Book for the car's value.
- Paradise Lost was an epic blank-verse poem written in 1667 by English poet John Milton.
- The Standard Nathan Brand Salt container is drawn to resemble the Morton Salt container, manufactured by Morton International, Inc.
- "Nathan TX" refers to the nomenclature of some makes of automobile, such as the Honda Accord or Mazda Protege; often, there is a base model, and then a higher end model differentiated by the additional letters. Luxury editions will usually be differentiated by a series containing an "x', such as EX, LX, EXT etc.
- Strong Bad's beginning "Drape it over your arms..." song is sung to the opening notes of "Super Trooper" by The Oceans which is the theme to the 1985 film "Poliziotto superpiù" A.K.A. "Superfuzz".
- Strong Bad's remark that you can't just "make up some random crap that no-one will ever do" and call it a record is a possible reference to the Guinness World Records TV show, which depicted several obscure records, such as "Most bubbles blown with a tarantula in the mouth" or "Furthest distance of milk squirted from eye."
Fast Forward
- Bull Honkey is later seen in road trip as an energy drink.
DVD Version
- The DVD version features creators' commentary. To access it, switch your DVD player's audio language selection while watching.
This section of the page is incomplete. You can help the Homestar Runner Wiki by expanding it.
External Links
- watch "record book"
- watch "record book" on the old Flash site
- view the Flash file for "record book"
- forum thread re: "record book"
