shapeshifter
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==Transcript== | ==Transcript== | ||
| - | {{ | + | '''STRONG BAD:''' Back again. Checking email from my friends. I mean, the stupid people that write me. |
| + | |||
| + | <blockquote class="lappy email"> | ||
| + | <div>subject: email</div> | ||
| + | Dear Strongbad, if you could shapeshift, waht would you | ||
| + | turn into? | ||
| + | From Paxton Westergard Anacortes, Washington | ||
| + | </blockquote> | ||
| + | ''{Strong Bad reads "waht" as "waaaaaat"}'' | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''STRONG BAD:''' Ugh. You'll never be a weatherman with a name like that. How about just... Paxto West? ''{typing}'' Now you might think I'd be all over this shapeshifting business Paxto, but if comic books, cartoons, and Sci-Fi Original Movies have taught me anything, it's that shapeshifting comes with a bunch of boring rules and restrictions that limit its potential Turn-Into-A-Bulldozer-Whenever-I-Want-Ity. ''{clears screen, speaks in mocking voice}'' You can turn into a machine gun but not bullets, contemporary jazz turns you back to normal, you can only turn into presents your grandma's knitted for you. ''{speaks normally}'' Crap like that. For example, let's say I could turn into any species... OF BALLOON ANIMAL!!?? | ||
| + | |||
| + | ''{Cut to the Field. Strong Bad, Marzipan and The Cheat are there. The Cheat's fur is messed up and he's foaming at the mouth}'' | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''STRONG BAD:''' Look out! A rabid The Cheat! I'll handle this! | ||
| + | |||
| + | ''{The scene pauses as if it's a video tape}'' | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''STRONG BAD:''' ''{voiceover}'' Oh yeah. Another thing about shapeshifting is that you have to have a cool trademark sound effect that happens every time you change forms. | ||
| + | |||
| + | ''{The scene unpauses}'' | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''STRONG BAD:''' Shapeshift unto... A Sumatran tiger! DWAYNE! | ||
| + | |||
| + | ''{The word "DWAYNE!!" appears Strong Bad and fades, as it continues to do every time he shapeshifts. Strong Bad turns into a pink, four-legged balloon animal}'' | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''STRONG BAD:''' I said a tiger, not a poodle! DWAYNE. ''{Turns into a blue balloon animal of the same shape.}'' A ''tiger'', not a donkey. Dwayne. ''{The sound effect appears in lowercase, and Strong Bad turns into an orange balloon animal, still of the same shape}'' That's better. Now stand back! ''{The wind starts to blow Strong Bad away.}'' Um... | ||
| + | |||
| + | ''{The Cheat jumps at Marzipan and she gasps. Then the scene is paused again.}'' | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''STRONG BAD:''' ''{voiceover}'' Ooh, but what if I could turn into legal tender? ''{Cut to Strong Bad approaching Bubs' Concession Stand}'' One of the only good legal things in existence. | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''STRONG BAD:''' Say, Bubs. How much for that Lamborghini hot tub you got back there? | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''BUBS:''' The what? ''{Looks down}'' Oh! That Lamborghini hot tub. It sure is back here! That'll run you one hundred... ''{Bubs and Strong Bad jerk their heads back twice}'' dollars. | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''STRONG BAD:''' Swedish deals! Shapeshift unto... A hundred dollar bill! DWAYNE! | ||
| + | |||
| + | ''{Strong Bad turns into a hundred dollar bill, which floats down onto the counter, then is blown away by the wind.}'' | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''STRONG BAD:''' ''{voiceover}'' So... Apparently wind is a pretty big problem for most shapeshifters. | ||
| + | |||
| + | ''{Cut to Coach Z walking along. Strong Bad floats nearby.}'' | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''COACH Z:''' Hey, check it out! A Benjamin! ''{Snatches Strong Bad out of the air and puts him in a pocket, causing drops of liquid to go flying}'' I'll just tuck you into the loose band of my sweaty-sweat-sweats! ''{Hits his waist for emphasis. More liquid goes flying}'' | ||
| + | |||
| + | ''{Cut to Strong Bad lying on the floor next to his computer chair}'' | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''STRONG BAD:''' ''{distressed}'' Blaaaaaaaggghhhh. Hang on. Lemme try again. What if I could turn into... almost anyone in the world? Is that too much to ask? | ||
| + | |||
| + | ''{Cut to Strong Bad and The Cheat in the Field. They are standing next to a large structure made from round objects}'' | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''STRONG BAD:''' Don't worry! I know just how to get us through this ten-foot thick wall of pecan cheese balls! Shapeshift unto... The King of Town! DYWANE! ''{Turns into the King of Town. He keeps his voice, however}'' Norwegian deals! It worked! ''This'' should only take a few seconds! ''{He leans forward and makes chomping noises. The wall of pecan cheese balls is unaffected}'' R— why isn't this working? ''{Turns side on. Half of him is missing. Strong Bad speaks bitterly}'' Oh, I get it. ''{The Cheat screams and runs away}'' I can turn into ''almost'' anyone. Well, two can play at this game, dumb rules of shapeshifting! | ||
| + | |||
| + | ''{Cut to Strong Bad, back in his normal form, at Bubs' Concession Stand. Bubs isn't there}'' | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''STRONG BAD:''' Say Bubs, I'd like one Lamborghini hot tub for free, please. Shapeshift unto Bubs! DWYANE! ''{Strong Bad turns into Bubs' legs}'' Oh man! I turned into the wrong "almost". This plan was supposed to be foolproof. All anybody ever sees is Bubs' ample top portions! | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''COACH Z:''' ''{Offscreen}'' Oh Bubs! Oh Bubs! I'm coming to your concession stand to talk to you! | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''STRONG BAD:''' Wait. Maybe I can still make this work! ''{He jumps onto the counter, turning himself upside-down in the process}'' | ||
| + | |||
| + | ''{Coach Z comes onscreen}'' | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''COACH Z:''' Hey, nice headstand, Bubs. I'd like one Lamborghini hot tub, please. ''{pulls out some money from his pocket}'' Allow me to use this moistened hundred dollar bill I found earlier today. | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''STRONG BAD:''' Wait, what? | ||
| + | |||
| + | ''{Strong Bad the balloon animal floats past}'' | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''COACH Z:''' Oh look! A giraffe! | ||
| + | |||
| + | ''{Cut back to Strong Bad sitting at his computer}'' | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''STRONG BAD:''' ''{typing}'' Uh, that was confusing. See what I mean? Shapeshifting is laden with confusing troubles and a severe lack of hot tubs. | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{offscreen}'' Oh Strong Bad! Oh Strong Bad, I'm coming to your computer desk to talk to you! | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''STRONG BAD:''' ''{quietly}'' Oh crap! DWAYNE! | ||
| + | |||
| + | ''{Strong Bad turns into a colorful scarf, with a tag on it reading "From: Grandma". Homestar walks in holding a chessboard with a white dessert on top of it.}'' | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{angry}'' Oh. It's you again, scarf from Grandma! Never mind. | ||
| + | |||
| + | ''{He turns and walks away}'' | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''STRONG BAD:''' Phew. Maybe it's not ''all'' bad. Thanks, G-mom's. | ||
| + | |||
| + | ''{[[New Paper]] comes down}'' | ||
==Easter Eggs== | ==Easter Eggs== | ||
Revision as of 11:45, 31 March 2008
| Strong Bad Email #192 |
|
Strong Bad explains why shapeshifting isn't as attractive as it sounds.
Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad, The Cheat, Marzipan, Bubs, Coach Z, Homestar Runner
Places: Computer Room, The Field, Bubs' Concession Stand
Computer: Lappy 486
Date: Monday, March 31, 2008
Running Time: 4:07 (actual) 4:04 (menu)
Page Title: Lappy 486
Contents |
Transcript
STRONG BAD: Back again. Checking email from my friends. I mean, the stupid people that write me.
subject: emailDear Strongbad, if you could shapeshift, waht would you turn into? From Paxton Westergard Anacortes, Washington
{Strong Bad reads "waht" as "waaaaaat"}
STRONG BAD: Ugh. You'll never be a weatherman with a name like that. How about just... Paxto West? {typing} Now you might think I'd be all over this shapeshifting business Paxto, but if comic books, cartoons, and Sci-Fi Original Movies have taught me anything, it's that shapeshifting comes with a bunch of boring rules and restrictions that limit its potential Turn-Into-A-Bulldozer-Whenever-I-Want-Ity. {clears screen, speaks in mocking voice} You can turn into a machine gun but not bullets, contemporary jazz turns you back to normal, you can only turn into presents your grandma's knitted for you. {speaks normally} Crap like that. For example, let's say I could turn into any species... OF BALLOON ANIMAL!!??
{Cut to the Field. Strong Bad, Marzipan and The Cheat are there. The Cheat's fur is messed up and he's foaming at the mouth}
STRONG BAD: Look out! A rabid The Cheat! I'll handle this!
{The scene pauses as if it's a video tape}
STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Oh yeah. Another thing about shapeshifting is that you have to have a cool trademark sound effect that happens every time you change forms.
{The scene unpauses}
STRONG BAD: Shapeshift unto... A Sumatran tiger! DWAYNE!
{The word "DWAYNE!!" appears Strong Bad and fades, as it continues to do every time he shapeshifts. Strong Bad turns into a pink, four-legged balloon animal}
STRONG BAD: I said a tiger, not a poodle! DWAYNE. {Turns into a blue balloon animal of the same shape.} A tiger, not a donkey. Dwayne. {The sound effect appears in lowercase, and Strong Bad turns into an orange balloon animal, still of the same shape} That's better. Now stand back! {The wind starts to blow Strong Bad away.} Um...
{The Cheat jumps at Marzipan and she gasps. Then the scene is paused again.}
STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Ooh, but what if I could turn into legal tender? {Cut to Strong Bad approaching Bubs' Concession Stand} One of the only good legal things in existence.
STRONG BAD: Say, Bubs. How much for that Lamborghini hot tub you got back there?
BUBS: The what? {Looks down} Oh! That Lamborghini hot tub. It sure is back here! That'll run you one hundred... {Bubs and Strong Bad jerk their heads back twice} dollars.
STRONG BAD: Swedish deals! Shapeshift unto... A hundred dollar bill! DWAYNE!
{Strong Bad turns into a hundred dollar bill, which floats down onto the counter, then is blown away by the wind.}
STRONG BAD: {voiceover} So... Apparently wind is a pretty big problem for most shapeshifters.
{Cut to Coach Z walking along. Strong Bad floats nearby.}
COACH Z: Hey, check it out! A Benjamin! {Snatches Strong Bad out of the air and puts him in a pocket, causing drops of liquid to go flying} I'll just tuck you into the loose band of my sweaty-sweat-sweats! {Hits his waist for emphasis. More liquid goes flying}
{Cut to Strong Bad lying on the floor next to his computer chair}
STRONG BAD: {distressed} Blaaaaaaaggghhhh. Hang on. Lemme try again. What if I could turn into... almost anyone in the world? Is that too much to ask?
{Cut to Strong Bad and The Cheat in the Field. They are standing next to a large structure made from round objects}
STRONG BAD: Don't worry! I know just how to get us through this ten-foot thick wall of pecan cheese balls! Shapeshift unto... The King of Town! DYWANE! {Turns into the King of Town. He keeps his voice, however} Norwegian deals! It worked! This should only take a few seconds! {He leans forward and makes chomping noises. The wall of pecan cheese balls is unaffected} R— why isn't this working? {Turns side on. Half of him is missing. Strong Bad speaks bitterly} Oh, I get it. {The Cheat screams and runs away} I can turn into almost anyone. Well, two can play at this game, dumb rules of shapeshifting!
{Cut to Strong Bad, back in his normal form, at Bubs' Concession Stand. Bubs isn't there}
STRONG BAD: Say Bubs, I'd like one Lamborghini hot tub for free, please. Shapeshift unto Bubs! DWYANE! {Strong Bad turns into Bubs' legs} Oh man! I turned into the wrong "almost". This plan was supposed to be foolproof. All anybody ever sees is Bubs' ample top portions!
COACH Z: {Offscreen} Oh Bubs! Oh Bubs! I'm coming to your concession stand to talk to you!
STRONG BAD: Wait. Maybe I can still make this work! {He jumps onto the counter, turning himself upside-down in the process}
{Coach Z comes onscreen}
COACH Z: Hey, nice headstand, Bubs. I'd like one Lamborghini hot tub, please. {pulls out some money from his pocket} Allow me to use this moistened hundred dollar bill I found earlier today.
STRONG BAD: Wait, what?
{Strong Bad the balloon animal floats past}
COACH Z: Oh look! A giraffe!
{Cut back to Strong Bad sitting at his computer}
STRONG BAD: {typing} Uh, that was confusing. See what I mean? Shapeshifting is laden with confusing troubles and a severe lack of hot tubs.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: {offscreen} Oh Strong Bad! Oh Strong Bad, I'm coming to your computer desk to talk to you!
STRONG BAD: {quietly} Oh crap! DWAYNE!
{Strong Bad turns into a colorful scarf, with a tag on it reading "From: Grandma". Homestar walks in holding a chessboard with a white dessert on top of it.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: {angry} Oh. It's you again, scarf from Grandma! Never mind.
{He turns and walks away}
STRONG BAD: Phew. Maybe it's not all bad. Thanks, G-mom's.
{New Paper comes down}
Easter Eggs
- Click on the words "Paxton Westergard" after Strong Bad says "Paxto West" to see a picture of the Tire as a weather forecaster.
- At the end click on Strong Bad to make him shapeshift from the scarf to a balloon animal, a $100 bill, Bubs' legs, Strong Bad, and back to the scarf.
