the chair

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Revision as of 20:52, 14 January 2007

"Whoa, it's been upgraded to Stank..."

Strong Bad decides to get a new chair. Bubs offers some suggestions.

Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad, Stooly, Bubs, Lil' Strong Bad, Homestar Runner, Strong Sad (Easter egg)

Places: Computer Room, Bubs' Concession Stand, Strong Bad's Basement, Strong Sad's Room (Easter egg)

Computer: Lappy 486

Date: December 4, 2006

Running Time: 3:57

Page Title: Lappy 486

Transcript

STRONG BAD: {singing} A-just scrape some email off the top, and I'll help you out toniiiight!

subject: the chair.

D to the ear Strong Bad,
That chair you're sitting on doesnt look very comfortable.
When are you going to get a new, less hardwood, big,
office manager-style comfy computer chair?
Yours truely,
Keith, PA

{pronounces "D to the ear" as "Duh to the ear", "doesnt" as "dohs-n-t" (with extra emphasis at the end of the word), and "truely" as "treh-leh", and reads "Keith, PA" as "Keith and Pa"}

STRONG BAD: Ooh! It's a father-son email picnic! {typing} Y to the ou {pronounced "Yeah to the oo"} don't know what you're talkin' about, Pakeithpsy. Stooly here is a tush-cheek's dream. So cottony squish and pillowy fresh. Take a look-see!

{Zoom out to show Strong Bad leaping off of the stool. The seat is filthy, and has the word "STANK" seeping out of it at various spots.}

STRONG BAD: Whoa, it's been upgraded to Stank...

{A face fades onto the seat of the stool and coughs.}

STRONG BAD: Eeew... Maybe it is time for a re-imagining of my email-checkin' chair...

STOOLY: {coughs again} I just need a lozenge...

{Cut to Strong Bad standing outside Bubs' Concession Stand, with the camera centered behind Bubs.}

STRONG BAD: Hey, Bubs!

BUBS: Hey, customer!

STRONG BAD: What do you got in the way of things I can sit on whilst I check emails?

BUBS: Ooh! Lucky for you! I just got {places a box on the counter} this pre-owned box of chicken beaks in just now! Like right just now!

STRONG BAD: Okay, okay, okay... But you got anything less anthrax-y?

BUBS: I got this old Winger album! {holds up the record case}

STRONG BAD: Well, yeah... that is less Anthrax-y. But I was kinda hoping for a chair of some kind.

BUBS: Step right into my showroom!

{Bubs slides away. Cut to the side of Bubs' Concession Stand. As Strong Bad walks around, a portion of the wall falls outward, revealing a conveyor belt. Bubs rides on it standing on one foot.}

BUBS: Steeeeeeeeeeeep! {jumps off conveyor belt} All right! We'll start at the tip, and work our way to the tup!

STRONG BAD: You make less sense every day, Bubsy.

BUBS: Crabadonk!

{The wall flips back up, then falls down again, revealing a red, white and blue bicycle seat on the conveyor belt.}

STRONG BAD: Hey, that's no chair! That's Red, White and Banana! My old bicycle seat!

{Cut to a film-projected scene of Li'l Strong Bad riding the bicycle seat outside a porch.}

STRONG BAD: I used to ride that thing on my paper route all the time!

{Li'l Strong Bad lights a newspaper on fire with a Duplo lighter and throws it at the house. As it bounces off the door, the door begins to emit smoke, and Li'l Strong Bad laughs. Cut back to Strong Bad and Bubs.}

STRONG BAD: No, I'd better pass on that. I had a few too many wipeouts on that thing as a kid.

BUBS: Ugh! You nasty!

STRONG BAD: What?

{The wall rises again, and falls down with a chair shaped like Homestar Runner on it}

STRONG BAD: What makes you think I want to check-a my email on a Homestar Runner-shaped chair?

BUBS: Aw, come on. Give it a try!

{Strong Bad jumps onto the chair}

HOMESTAR RUNNER CHAIR: Ow.

STRONG BAD: {jumping out of the chair} Wah!

BUBS: Whoops, seen enough of that one!

{The wall rises and falls with a deformed gray lump vaguely resembling a chair.}

STRONG BAD: Aww, your snowman died!

BUBS: {cut to closeup of Bubs} You simpleton! This is a Danoob Largo original!

{Cut to the chair. A Styleron Ecochair logo appears.}

BUBS: The Styleron Ecochair!

STRONG BAD: {pan up to Strong Bad} Look, I don't care how Swedish your chair is. I have no need for a giant {pan back to the chair} albino doggie-doody.

BUBS: {cut to Bubs} Always a hit at parties...

STRONG BAD: {cut back to Strong Bad} Come on, Bubs! Don't you have anything more... executive? A chair that will intimidate my underlings and eliminate my overlings!

{Cut back to the wide shot of Strong Bad and Bubs.}

BUBS: Ooh! Lucky for you! I just got this pre-owned—

{The wall rises and falls, displaying the same box of chicken beaks seen earlier.}

STRONG BAD: {interrupting} NOT a box of chicken beaks! {The conveyor belt immediately rises again.}

BUBS: Oh. Then behold!

{The conveyor belt falls again, revealing a large leather chair, which obscures Strong Bad as it rolls out. The chair glows and a chorus sounds briefly, and a golden "Le Restige" plaque appears.}

BUBS: Le Restige!

STRONG BAD: {appears from behind the chair} Style and class! Oh, tell me that leather's Corinthian! Just tell me it's Corinthian!

BUBS: {cut to closeup of Bubs} Crabadonk!

{Cut to a closeup of Strong Bad, who is now sitting on the chair.}

STRONG BAD: So what kind of options are we looking at on this baby?

BUBS: Ooh! You're gonna love this!

{Bubs opens a compartment in the arm rest to reveal a red button and presses it, making a buzzing sound. A pair of metallic arms appear from behind Strong Bad and quickly slip a pair of gray sweatpants on him}

STRONG BAD: No way! A sweatpants button! And so begins my meteoric rise to the top of the corporate ladder... Now alls we gotta do is see how well it checks emails!

{Cut back to the computer room, with Le Restige taking up nearly the entire screen}

STRONG BAD: {singing} Hey, hey, hey. It's email.

{opens an email which is almost completely obscured by the chair}

STRONG BAD: {reading email} Dear Strong Bad, how come you never take your mask off? {typing} Like I've said before, this is not a mask. It's my face. But hey, I'll give it a shot!

{Strong Bad tugs on his mask until it comes off. He raises the mask above the chair and screams for a few seconds, then puts it back on again, making gurgling noises throughout.}

STRONG BAD: Ugh! I am NEVER gonna do that again! And, here's a picture of my parents. {holds up a photo; only the corner is visible above the chair.}

{Cut to a wide shot of the computer room.}

STRONG BAD: And now time to unwind with a pair of executive sweatpants!

{Strong Bad pushes the sweatpants button, making the buzzing sound again. The robotic arms go haywire and toss Strong Bad into the air. He falls down with several layered sweatpants on his legs and another pair on his head.}

STRONG BAD: {groaning} Ooooh... so... many... sweatpants... I can't feel my parts...

{The Paper comes down.}

Easter Eggs

• Click on the Styleron logo while Bubs displays the ecochair to see a poster of the designer.
• At the end, click on Le Restige to see a scene of Strong Sad trying to sit on the ecochair.

{Cut to Strong Sad's room. Strong Sad is balancing awkwardly atop the ecochair. The poster for it is on the wall behind him.}

STRONG SAD: {Tips back and forth} Whoa... whoa... whoa... whoa... {Falls backwards, appearing to break his back} Ooh! ... I can't feel my parts...

• The photo of Strong Bad's parents, when viewed in a decompiler, is blank except for the words "nice try dodongo!" written across it.

Fun Facts

Explanations

• A lozenge is a small medicated candy intended to be dissolved slowly in order to soothe an irritated throat.
• "What does Strong Bad look like without his mask?" and "What do the parents of the characters look like?" are two commonly submitted questions The Brothers Chaps have stated that they are not likely ever to answer seriously.

Trivia

• The Floppy Disk Container reads "bio forge".
• Strong Bad's face/mask is facing the viewers even though Strong Bad is presumably facing his computer. This can be partially viewed when using a Flash decompiler.
• This email marks the first appearance of a more realistic-looking sky over The Field.
• The text of the obscured email reads:

  subject: your mask

  Dear strong bad,
  How come you never take your mask off?
  

Remarks

• The second email Strong Bad reads appears to have no sender.
• There is no 'back' button at the end of this email.

Goofs

• We don't see or hear the conveyor belt go back up again after the Styleron Ecochair is seen for the last time. Nevertheless, the conveyor belt is up when Bubs brings out the chicken beaks a second time.
• When the scene switches to a wide shot after Strong Bad holds up the picture of his parents, the text on the screen has immediately switched from the email he received to the text Strong Bad typed.

Inside References

• Poughkeepsie was last mentioned in Sick Day. (see also Real-World References)
• The adjective "stank" was previously used in modeling and Halloween Potion-ma-jig.
• The face on Stooly looks a lot like Doreauxgard.
• Humane treatment of poultry was also mentioned in the toon No Hands On Deck!.
• The quote "seen enough of that one" was also said in retirement and huttah!.
• "Restige" is a portmanteau of "rest" and "prestige".
• Le Restige is the same design of the chairs used in rock opera, HomestarRunner.com PAY PLUS!, Everybody to the Limit and Strong Bad and The Cheat's Thank You message.
• Strong Bad says (and supposedly demonstrates offscreen) that his "wrestling mask" is his real face. He mentioned this before in some kinda robot.

Real-World References

• Pakeithpsy sounds almost identical to the upstate New York city of Poughkeepsie. (See also Inside References)
• "Ethical Chick Beaks" is probably a reference to the questionably unethical practice of cutting off baby chicken beaks employed by many chicken mega-farms.
• Anthrax is:
  • An infectious, often fatal disease of cattle, sheep, and other mammals which can be transmitted to humans by contaminated wool, raw meat, or other animal products.
  • An influential '80s thrash metal band.
• Winger is an American Hard Rock/Glam Metal band from New York City.
  • The album pictured was Winger's self-titled debut album.
• Lil' Strong Bad's lighter has an older version of the Duplo logo on it.
• The Styleron Ecochair by Danoob Largo is a parody of furniture made by Swedish-founded IKEA, known for advertising its products as modern and environmental and giving each product line a Scandinavian name.
• Le Restige is in the style of Queen Anne furniture.
• Strong Bad's insistence about Corinthian leather is a reference to a 1975 commercial narrated by Ricardo Montalbán for the Chrysler Cordoba, where he famously intones about the "rich Corinthian leather" of the seats.
• A Dodongo is an enemy from the Legend of Zelda series.

External Links

• watch "the chair"
• watch "the chair" on the old Flash site
• view the Flash file for "the chair"
• forum thread re: "the chair"