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Subtitles logo These are the English subtitles for the chair. watch this toon
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<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?>
<transcript xml:lang="en-us" file="sbemail162.swf" width="550" height="400">
<line start="16" end="86" speaker="strongbad"><em>(singing)</em> A-just scrape some email off the top, and I'll help you out toniiiight!</line>
<line start="87" end="110" speaker="strongbad">"Dah to the ear Strong Bad"</line>
<line start="111" end="161" speaker="strongbad">"That chair you're sitting on does-n-nt look very comfortable."</line>
<line start="162" end="243" speaker="strongbad">"When are you going to get a new, less hardwood, big, office manager-style comfy computer chair?"</line>
<line start="244" end="276" speaker="strongbad">"Yours treh-leh, Keith and PA"</line>
<line start="277" end="315" speaker="strongbad">Ooh! It's a father-son email picnic!</line>
<line start="316" end="362" speaker="strongbad">Yeh to the ou don't know what you're talkin' about, Pakeithpsy.</line>
<line start="363" end="394" speaker="strongbad">Stooly here is a tush-cheek's dream.</line>
<line start="395" end="434" speaker="strongbad">So cottony squish and pillowy fresh.</line>
<line start="435" end="449" speaker="strongbad">Take a look-see!</line>
<line start="450" end="479" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Whoa, It's been upgraded to Stank...</line>
<line start="480" end="503" speaker="other" sfx="sfx">coughs</line>
<line start="504" end="517" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Eeew...</line>
<line start="518" end="573" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Maybe it is time for a re-imagining of my email-checkin' chair...</line>
<line start="574" end="627">
 <other>I just need a lozenge...</other>
<line start="628" end="640" speaker="strongbad">Hey, Bubs!</line>
<line start="641" end="656" speaker="bubs">Hey, customer!</line>
<line start="657" end="706" speaker="strongbad">What do you got in the way of things I can sit on whilst I check emails?</line>
<line start="707" end="727" speaker="bubs">Ooh! Lucky for you!</line>
<line start="728" end="778" speaker="bubs">I just got this pre-owned box of chicken beaks in just now!</line>
<line start="779" end="801" speaker="bubs">Like right just now!</line>
<line start="802" end="862" speaker="strongbad">Okay, okay, okay... But, uh, you got anything less anthrax-y?</line>
<line start="863" end="891" speaker="bubs">I got this old Winger album!</line>
<line start="892" end="926" speaker="strongbad">Well, yeah... that is less anthrax-y.</line>
<line start="927" end="964" speaker="strongbad">But I was kinda hoping for a chair of some kind.</line>
<line start="965" end="990" speaker="bubs">Step right into my showroom!</line>
<line start="994" end="1007" speaker="bubs">Zzzzziiiiiiiip!</line>
<line start="1008" end="1017" speaker="bubs">All right!</line>
<line start="1018" end="1061" speaker="bubs">We'll start at the tip, and work our way to the tup!</line>
<line start="1062" end="1091" speaker="strongbad">You make less sense every day, Bubsy.</line>
<line start="1092" end="1106" speaker="bubs">Crabadonk!</line>
<line start="1114" end="1134" speaker="strongbad">Hey, that's no chair!</line>
<line start="1135" end="1174" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">That's Red, White and Banana! My old bicycle seat!</line>
<line start="1175" end="1214" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">I used to ride that thing on my paper route all the time!</line>
<line start="1246" end="1267" speaker="strongbad">No, I'd better pass on that.</line>
<line start="1268" end="1303" speaker="strongbad">I had a few too many wipeouts on that thing as a kid.</line>
<line start="1304" end="1327" speaker="bubs">Ugh! You nasty!</line>
<line start="1328" end="1334" speaker="strongbad">What?!</line>
<line start="1349" end="1406" speaker="strongbad">What makes you think I want to checka my email on a Homestar Runner-shaped chair??</line>
<line start="1407" end="1436" speaker="bubs">Aw, come on. Give it a try!</line>
<line start="1447" end="1452" speaker="homestar">Ow.</line>
<line start="1453" end="1460" speaker="strongbad" sfx="sfx">screams</line>
<line start="1470" end="1492" speaker="bubs">Whoops, seen enough of that one!</line>
<line start="1493" end="1520" speaker="strongbad">Aww, your snowman died!</line>
<line start="1521" end="1574" speaker="bubs">You simpleton! This is a Denoob Largo original!</line>
<line start="1575" end="1612" speaker="bubs">The Styleron Ecochair!</line>
<line start="1613" end="1643" speaker="strongbad">Look, I don't care how Swedish your chair is.</line>
<line start="1644" end="1695" speaker="strongbad">I have no need for a giant albino doggie-doody.</line>
<line start="1696" end="1719" speaker="bubs">Always a hit at parties...</line>
<line start="1720" end="1771" speaker="strongbad">Come on, Bubs! Don't you have anything more... executive?</line>
<line start="1772" end="1828" speaker="strongbad">A chair that'll intimidate my underlings and eliminate my overlings!</line>
<line start="1829" end="1868" speaker="bubs">Ooh! lucky for you! I just got this pre-owned—</line>
<line start="1869" end="1894" speaker="strongbad">NOT a box of chicken beaks!</line>
<line start="1895" end="1922" speaker="bubs">Oh. Then behold:</line>
<line start="1923" end="1944" speaker="bubs">Le Restige!</line>
<line start="1945" end="1967" speaker="strongbad">Style and class!</line>
<line start="1968" end="2020" speaker="strongbad">Oh, tell me that leather's Corinthian! Just tell me it's Corinthian!</line>
<line start="2021" end="2039" speaker="bubs">Craba<i>donk!</i></line>
<line start="2040" end="2070" speaker="strongbad">So what kind of options are we looking at on this baby?</line>
<line start="2071" end="2100" speaker="bubs">Ooh! You're gonna love this!</line>
<line start="2151" end="2189" speaker="strongbad">No way! A sweat pants button!</line>
<line start="2190" end="2253" speaker="strongbad">And so begins my meteoric rise to the top of the corporate ladder...</line>
<line start="2254" end="2307" speaker="strongbad">Now alls we gotta do is see how well it checks emails!</line>
<line start="2308" end="2347" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover"><em>(singing)</em> Hey, hey, hey, it's email...</line>
<line start="2348" end="2361" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">"Dear Strong Bad</line>
<line start="2362" end="2390" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">How come you never take your mask off?"</line>
<line start="2391" end="2447" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Like I've said before, this is not a mask. It's m'face.</line>
<line start="2448" end="2476" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">But hey, I'll give it a shot!</line>
<line start="2477" end="2493" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover" sfx="sfx">groans</line>
<line start="2494" end="2562" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover" sfx="sfx">screams and gurgles</line>
<line start="2563" end="2603" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Ugh! I am NEVER gonna do that again!</line>
<line start="2604" end="2634" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">And, here's a picture of my parents.</line>
<line start="2635" end="2701" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">And now it's time to unwind with a pair of executive sweat pants!</line>
<line start="2702" end="2756" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover" sfx="sfx">yells</line>
<line start="2757" end="2822" speaker="strongbad">Ooooh... so... many... sweat pants...</line>
<line start="2823" end="2856" speaker="strongbad">I can't feel my parts...</line>
<line start="2872" end="2916" speaker="strongsad" sfx="sfx">groans</line>
<line start="2917" end="2934" speaker="strongsad">Ooh!</line>
<line start="2935" end="2980" speaker="strongsad">I can't feel my parts...</line>
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