Let us give TANKS!

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Current revision as of 14:30, 27 March 2024

"I can never tell you two apart!"

Blue Laser invites the Cheat Commandos to Thanksgiving dinner.

Cast (in order of appearance): Green Helmets, Gunhaver, Silent Rip, Reinforcements, Crackotage, Reynold, Firebert, Fightgar, Blue Laser Minion, Blue Laser Commander, Ripberger, Oliver Smidgen, Reynold's Brother

Places: Cheat Commandos HQ, Blue Laser Cottage, Reynold's Parents' House

Date: Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Running Time: 5:00

Page Title: A Very Tremendous Chimendez Thanksgiving

DVD: Everything Else, Volume 3

[edit] Transcript

{The title appears — "LET US GIVE TANKS!!" written by A. Chimendez — over a shot of the Cheat Commando base in red, orange, yellow, and brown hills in the background and falling leaves. Light, percussive music plays.}

{Gunhaver and Silent Rip are in front of the control panel and video screen, watching shaky video of three Cheat Commandos being assaulted by blue lasers and explosions on a smoky, war-torn landscape.}

GREEN HELMET: We're taking heavy losses, sir. They've got us pinned down! We really need—!

{The video image is interrupted by the Blue Las-alert siren and a yellow and orange screen with the text, "Thanksgiving Break Alert".}

GUNHAVER: All right! Thanksgiving break!

{The screen fades through static back to the Cheat Commandos.}

GREEN HELMET: But sir! We could really use some—!

{Gunhaver turns off the monitor and turns to Silent Rip.}

GUNHAVER: I love Thanksgiving break!

{Focus on Silent Rip.}

SILENT RIP: Uh, shouldn't we go help him?

{Cut out to include Gunhaver, along with Reinforcements and Crackotage.}

GUNHAVER: Naw, he's just one of those green helmets. We got like fifty of them. So, what's everybody doing for the holiday?

{Shift to Reynold.}

REYNOLD: I'm going to stay at my parents' house! If they haven't rented out my room... again... to my brother.

{Gunhaver salutes the Cheat Commandos as they leave.}

GUNHAVER: Well, have a good time, soldiers. I'll just be here in case Blue Laser tries to blow up over-the-river-and-through-the-woods... so that no one to grandmother's house... can go.

{Shift to a small cottage in the autumn woods with a gravel path and smoke rising out of the stone chimney. Transition music plays.}

{Cut to the inside of the cottage. A Blue Laser minion is preparing a turkey in the kitchen. Blue Laser Commander enters, brandishing a meat fork.}

BLUE LASER COMMANDER: I thought I told you to fiendishly dice the evil onions!

BLUE LASER MINION 1: No sir.

{Pan to a second Blue Laser Minion chopping onions with fiendish faces drawn on them on the counter.}

BLUE LASER MINION 2: That was me, sir.

{Pan back to Blue Laser Commander.}

BLUE LASER COMMANDER: I can never tell you two apart! Yah! {Hurls the meat fork into the offscreen minion's eye.}

BLUE LASER MINION 2: Ow!

BLUE LASER COMMANDER: There! Now you're the one with the fork stuck in your eye!

{The door crashes open and Fightgar, Firebert, and Silent Rip enter, armed with guns.}

FIGHTGAR: Sorry Blue Laser — the only thanks you'll be giving is getting shot by us with our bullet-shooting guns!

{Blue Laser Commander approaches the Cheat Commandos.}

BLUE LASER COMMANDER: WHAT?!

FIGHTGAR: Aw, just kiddin'. {Smiles, along with Firebert.} Thanks for havin' us over!

BLUE LASER COMMANDER: Oh-ho. {wipes his brow} You really had me going for a second there. Get in here, you guys!

{Fightgar, Firebert, and Silent Rip enter, followed by Ripberger.}

BLUE LASER COMMANDER: Ripberger, you made it! {Ripberger stops at the door} I thought you were only available for a limited time with three proofs of purchase!

RIPBERGER: I brought some ambrosia salad! {displays the salad}

BLUE LASER COMMANDER: Uh, where's Gunhaver?!

{Cut to Fightgar and Silent Rip.}

SILENT RIP: {scratching his head} Uh, we kinda didn't give him your invitation. Gunhaver has a bit of a hard time cutting loose.

{Cut to Gunhaver in the Cheat Commandos base, saluting a flag labeled "The Flag" which is being blown by a fan.}

GUNHAVER: Forty-seven! Forty-eight! Forty-nine! Fifty! {turns his head} C'mon Gunhaver, you maggot! Give me fifty more! {turns back and resumes saluting} One! Two! Three!

{Cut back to the cottage, with Blue Laser Commander and Fightgar at a table with plates, the turkey, and yams with marshmallows.}

FIGHTGAR: Uh... I guess... Claude Monet, and um... Manchester United!

BLUE LASER COMMANDER: That's good, that's good! Now what about you, Silent Rip?

{Pan over to Silent Rip.}

SILENT RIP: I'm thankful for this bountiful Blue Laser Thanksgiving action playset!

{A "ding" noise is heard and the words "CHEAP AS FREE" appear in a cloud bubble in the corner.}

{Cut to Crackotage.}

CRACKOTAGE: I'm thankful for the gift of rhyme!!

{Cut to Ripberger.}

RIPBERGER: Ambrosia salad!

{Cut back to Crackotage.}

CRACKOTAGE: I'm also thankful for this lime! {holds up a lime} Hibbety-jeebity!

{Cuts to Blue Laser Commander.}

BLUE LASER COMMANDER: Plutonium at closeout prices!

{Cut to a Blue Laser minion.}

BLUE LASER MINION: I'm thankful I don't have a fork in my eye, sir.

{Cut back to Blue Laser Commander.}

BLUE LASER COMMANDER: My Nana's new hip!

{Cut to the Blue Laser minion with a fork stuck through his visor into his eye.}

BLUE LASER MINION WITH FORK IN EYE: I'm... thankful for this fork in my eye.

{Cuts to Gunhaver, facing the camera in front of the control panel.}

GUNHAVER: So I exchanged it for something of lesser value, and they gave me the rest in store credit!

{Cut to reveal him standing in front of the video monitor with the Cheat Commando green helmet onscreen.}

GREEN HELMET: That's great, sir. A real value. But we could really use some air support!

GUNHAVER: Yeah, I should go too. Gotta check in on Blue Laser.

GREEN HELMET: Please, NO—!!!

{Gunhaver brings up the Blue Laser cottage on the video monitor, showing Blue Laser Commander, Fightgar, Silent Rip, and a Blue Laser minion at the table with the turkey.}

FIGHTGAR: Ambros-er-a salad... sayin' right, right, right, right...

GUNHAVER: Tight buns! Blue Laser's captured the Cheat Commandos and is forcing them to sit down to a delicious meal and pleasant conversation! Hang on, boys. Daddy Gunhavvy's on his way! {walks away from the monitor}

BLUE LASER COMMANDER: But I'm not thankful for that guy over there with the camera!

{Cut to Reinforcements, who is using a camera and lights to record the Thanksgiving dinner.}

REINFORCEMENTS: Hey, guys.

{Focus on Silent Rip and Blue Laser Commander.}

SILENT RIP: Uh-oh. You know what that means.

{Cuts to Fightgar.}

FIGHTGAR: It won't be long before...

{Gunhaver pops out of the turkey holding a handgun. The Cheat Commandos theme music plays in the background.}

GUNHAVER: Gobble, gobble... you're in trobble!

CRACKOTAGE: {offscreen} Hey, that's not bad!

{Cut to Blue Laser Commander.}

BLUE LASER COMMANDER: Gunhaver! You actually have a gun!

{Cut back to Gunhaver, with the silhouettes of two Cheat Commandos in the foreground.}

GUNHAVER: Cheat Commandos, run for cover! {camera zooms in} Blue Laser is clearly trying to have you all over for dinner!

{Cut to Silent Rip.}

SILENT RIP: Uh, yeah! He invited you too, but we didn't tell you because we were afraid you'd do something like this!

{Cut back to Gunhaver.}

GUNHAVER: And I did! The Cheat Commandos win again!

{Cut to Blue Laser Commander.}

BLUE LASER COMMANDER: Well, since you're here... {clasps his hands together} Play us a song, won't you, Charles?

{Pan past several Cheat Commandos, all murmuring in agreement}

GUNHAVER: A—a song? No, I couldn't possibly... it's been so long, I...

{Cut back to Gunhaver, with a small, dirty Cheat Commando wearing a cap behind him.}

OLIVER SMIDGEN: Won't you play us a song, Gun'aver?

GUNHAVER: All right, you talked me into it. One song!

{Cut to Gunhaver sitting at a black upright piano with the Cheat Commandos and Blue Laser gathered around.}

GUNHAVER: This is one everybody knows, so give me a hand, boys. {begins playing the piano and singing} Buy all our playsets and...

CHEAT COMMANDOS AND BLUE LASER: Ooh!

GUNHAVER: {singing} Buy all our playsets and...

{Ripberger descends upside-down from the ceiling.}

CHEAT COMMANDOS AND BLUE LASER: Ah!

GUNHAVER: {singing} Buy all our playsets and...

ALL: {singing} Toys!

{Pan past Fightgar, Silent Rip, and the Blue Laser minion with the fork in his eye. Focus on the piano keys, on which Gunhaver is playing diddy tune of the Cheat Commandos theme song, and then cut back to everyone in front of the piano.}

ALL: Yeah!

BLUE LASER COMMANDER: A holiday classic!

{Smoke begins wafting through the room.}

SILENT RIP: Uh, what's that smell?

FIGHTGAR: How should I know? You're the one called Silent Rip!

GUNHAVER: That's all me. I stuck a nuclear device in the oven in case I didn't make it out of here alive! {several of the attendees open their mouths in surprise}

{Cut to Reynold's room, with his brother playing video games. There are several speakers in the room; the one in the foreground is pulsating as it plays music. The Blue Laser cottage can be seen outside the window with smoke rising from it.}

MUSIC: No one understands me! No one understands me!

{Reynold enters the room, covering his ears.}

REYNOLD: Will you turn that noise down?!

REYNOLD'S BROTHER: You're so lame.

MUSIC: No one understands me... but YOU!

{The Blue Laser cottage explodes in a mushroom cloud at the end of the song and the glass window of Reynold's room shatters.}

{Cut to a picture of Gunhaver coming out of the turkey, with the message, "Happy Thanksgiving! from those Cheat Commandos". The "Buy all our playsets and toys" music plays, without lyrics.}

[edit] Easter Eggs

• At the end, click on "Cheat Commandos" to see Oliver Smidgen and Reynold's brother's action figures.
  • Oliver Smidgen
    • Raised By a Distant Relative!!
    • Needs A Bath... Bad!
    • Child Labor?!
    • Turn of the Century!
  • Reynold's Brother
    • Doesn't Care About Much!!
    • Oxy Clean
    • Born in the Nineties!
    • Next Gen Gamepad!
• At the end, click on the turkey drumstick to see Blue Laser order around a minion.
  

  BLUE LASER COMMANDER: {Holding a plate of food} I need you to take this plate of food, make a milkshake out of it, and spread it on Nana's gums for her!
  

  BLUE LASER MINION: I'm going to go ahead and disobey a direct order, sir.
  

  BLUE LASER COMMANDER: Understandable!

[edit] Fun Facts

[edit] Explanations

• The "Green Helmets" are minor, expendable characters added so "heroes" can die without losing any members of the main cast. Such characters are frequently called "Redshirts", due to the fact that such characters in Star Trek: The Original Series usually wore red shirts; in G.I. Joe, they were called "Greenshirts".
• Ambrosia salad is a fruit salad variation that contains sour cream, whipped cream, mandarin oranges, pineapple, and coconut. Some variations also contain bananas, strawberries, or miniature marshmallows.
• Oliver's pronunciation of Gunhaver as "Gun'aver" is a play on "Guv'nor," a term of British origin used to refer to a person of higher social status.

[edit] Trivia

• This toon contains a fairly rare appearance of an actual handgun.
• Crackotage's "Hey, that's not bad!" line is the first time he is heard not attempting to conclude what he says with a rhyme.
• The YouTube description for this toon is "The Cheat Commandos are invited to Thanksgiving dinner with Blue Laser."

[edit] Remarks

• The leaves at the beginning fall in front of the character-generated title.
• When Fightgar enters Blue Laser Cottage, he threatens Blue Laser Commander with "bullet-shooting guns." The Cheat Commando weapons normally fire lasers.
• The lines on Gunhaver's gun are not properly drawn when he bursts out of the turkey; one of them is at a slightly awkward angle.
• The fork in the injured Blue Laser Minion's eye switches eyes depending on which direction he is facing. This is due to the fact that each character simply flips horizontally when facing a different direction, rather than being redrawn.
• During the song, Ripberger's mouth doesn't move. However, his body moves as though he is singing.
• Gunhaver is shown playing C E F B♭ F E. The notes heard are G G A B♭ A G.
• Reynold's brother's box says he is a child of the '90s, meaning he is somewhere between age 6 and age 16 at the time of the toon's release.
• In action figure form, Reynold's brother still has cartoon-style eyes, although it may be because of his disgruntled facial expression.

[edit] Fixed Goofs

I'm also thankful for this floating lime! Hibbety-jeebity!

• Crackotage's arm originally went down after showing the lime, but the lime didn't descend with his arm. This was fixed by removing the downwards arm movement.

[edit] Inside References

• A. Chimendez is credited as the episode's writer, and is also mentioned in the page title.
• The explosions on the battlefield with the Green Helmets are the same ones used in Sundae Drivin', as seen in redesign.
• The appearance of Ripberger and Reinforcements originated from ideas mentioned in the commentaries for the Cheat Commandos on Everything Else, Volume 2.
• Blood is visible on the Blue Laser Minion's face after Blue Laser Commander sticks the fork in his eye.
• The Cheap as Free logo appears after Silent Rip gives thanks for the Blue Laser Thanksgiving Action Playset.
• The Lil' Steiny piano is a reference to Stiny's nickname, Li'l Stiny, from superhero name. (See also: Real-World References)
• The price of each Easter egg action figure is $11.01.

[edit] Real-World References

• Over the River and Through the Woods is a popular holiday song written by Lydia Maria Child.
• Claude Monet (1840-1926) was a French Impressionist painter.
• Manchester United Football Club is an English football team most well-known to Americans through David Beckham.
• The gun that Gunhaver is holding resembles a Colt .45 M1911 pistol.
• Oliver Smidgen is an allusion to the title character of Oliver Twist.
• The Lil' Steiny piano is a reference to Steinway & Sons pianos. (See also: Inside References)
• The end of Gunhaver's song on the piano bears a strong resemblance to the ending of Rhapsody in Blue by George Gershwin.
• The poster in Reynold's brother's room displays the anarchy symbol.
• The "no one understands me" song is a parody of punk emo rock, with one of the stereotypical themes of teenage angst being "nobody understands me", and the music and song tone coming from punk rock.
• In the toy Easter egg, The "Next Gen Gamepad" on the box for Reynold's brother most closely resembles that of the Super NES, which was considered a next-generation console in the early 1990s. Incidentally, two new game consoles, the PlayStation 3 and the Nintendo Wii, were released just a few days before this toon.
• "Oxy Clean" is a portmanteau of Oxy Skin Care, a brand of acne treatment products, and OxiClean, a brand of general-purpose cleaning products.

[edit] Fast Forward

• Reynold's brother makes an appearance again later in An Important Rap Song.
• The Commandos get "another lame Thanksgiving special" in Toikey TV.
• Gunhaver would later be called Charles in Cheat Commandos: Two Part Episode: Part 1.

[edit] DVD Version

• The DVD version features hidden creators' commentary. To access it, switch the DVD player's audio language selection while watching.

[edit] Commentary Transcript

(Commentary by: Mike Chapman, Matt Chapman)

MATT: It's fall!

MIKE: {overlapping} Look at the— The autumn hills by the Cheat Commandos headquarters!

MATT: The actual hills have changed color. Oh, the poor green helmets, Mike.

MIKE: So was there a green helmet version in G. I. Joe? Was there just kind of a generic—

MATT: {overlapping} Yeah, there was—

MIKE: —soldier guy?

MATT: Mm-hmm. There was just this dude, he— he— he just had a... green... y'know, outfit on and a green helmet and he just— whenever they needed a lot of guys to be running somewhere and didn't want to draw a bunch of different drawings, {both laugh} just a bunch of that guy running in the background.

{pause}

MATT: This is kind of sad. Nobody wants to hang out with Gunhaver, Mike.

MIKE: They seem to enjoy his stories, usually, at the beginning of cartoons.

MATT: Yeah. When he told Blue Laser that he better break himself?

MIKE: Yeah, they love that.

MATT: Ummm... I really like Nana's cottage.

MIKE: Nana's... got some style.

MATT: Yeah.

MIKE: Her backyard's kinda nice...

MATT: That Blue Laser, uh, soldier there is puttin' a nice rub on that turkey. {laughing} On that fully cooked turkey.

MIKE: Doesn't Bubs rub a chicken at some point?

MATT: He was shinin' up a chicken.

MIKE: Shining up a chicken.

MATT: Yeah.

{pause}

MATT: That would be the variant— you'd have to send away, maybe for the... the Blue Laser trooper with the fork stuck in his eye.

MIKE: Yeah.

MATT: ...with some proofs of purchase. It'd be worth way more.

{pause}

MIKE: Don't— don't you have a scarf like that—

MATT: {interjecting} I do!

MIKE: —in the background?

MATT: It sorta looks like a... a Gryffindor scarf, Mike.

MIKE: {laughing} Mmmhmmm.

MATT: But I think those are crimson and gold.

MIKE: Yeah... And who is that? Is that Ripberger?

MATT: That's Ripberger, Mike! This is his first appearance! He was only available with... two proofs of purchase.

MIKE: The Ripbergers lived behind us in Indiana.

MATT: That's true!

MIKE: Bill Ripberger. He's the only Ripberger I remember...

MATT: {laughs}

MIKE: ...by name.

{pause as Gunhaver salutes "The Flag"}

MATT: "The Flag"!

{pause}

MIKE: So they're talking about what they're thankful for here.

MATT: Yeah, what are you thankful for, Mike, on this... this nice day? In September.

MIKE: Ummmm...

MATT: It's almost your birthday.

MIKE: Yeah. I'm thankful that tomorrow I'm gonna get a bunch of awesome presents.

MATT: Yeah?

MIKE: {overlapping} Yeah.

MATT: From— from who?

MIKE: Uh... My daughter—

MATT: {laughing} Yeah, your one-year-old?

MIKE: {overlapping} You... My dogs...

{pause}

MATT: What else, Mike? We're listening to it again—

MIKE: Oh yeah—Yeah, Sometimes I just get mesmerized by our hilarious cartoons and I just have to watch them.

MATT: That fork in his eye is gross.

MIKE: This is, uh, extra depressing too—

MATT: {overlapping} Oh this is my favorite part right here!

{pause}

MATT: {laughing} "Yeah, I should go too!" Somehow he interpreted that as he had to go...

MIKE: {sigh}

MATT: So, but if Blue Laser is at Nana's who is— Who are the green helmets fighting?

MIKE: {laughing} I never thought of that!

MATT: Because both... both forces, the leaders, their main people—

MIKE: They're— They're fighting the Dreadnought.

MATT: Yeah?

MIKE: Is that what they were called?

MATT: The Dreadnoks.

MIKE: Dreadnoks. They were just kinda the middle, in-between, can be good, can be bad—

MATT: Yeah they kinda were mainly bad.

MIKE: {overlapping} Oh, okay.

MATT: They, they, they were—

MIKE: But they weren't Cobras, right?

MATT: They were supposed to be for hire; they were supposed to be mercenaries.

MIKE: Yeah.

MATT: But G. I. Joe {laughing} never really took advantage of their services.

MIKE: {laughing}

MATT: Uh, so that way we just address my favorite thing in, in old cartoons. Where they show you a scene, and then the good guys or the bad guys would just be watching that scene—

MIKE: Right.

MATT: —of the opposing team. From the exact same viewpoint.

BOTH: {laughing}

MIKE: Right.

MATT: And it would change angles too. That was the best part, where it was like, they have a producer. I think we've talked about that before.

{pause}

MIKE: How did he get inside that turkey, man? That's gross.

{pause}

MATT: Charles Gunhaver.

MIKE: {laughing}

MATT: I love the idea, he's like the, just the perfect alpha bear, like comes home with the family and even knows how to play little songs, like "Let's all gather around!"

MIKE: Did we give a name to that little, uh... little Dickensian boy?

MATT: Yeah, I think so. Isn't there— there's an Easter egg with him in it.

MIKE: Oh is there? Oh, okay! It's, it's, it's his figure.

MATT: Yeah.

MIKE: Maybe, someday, I'll watch that and find out what his name is.

{laughing}

MATT: "Lil' Steiny"— look at that. That's a good joke, Mike. Steinway pianos. Look, Ripberger's on the ceiling like ninjas— like a red ninja should be.

MIKE: {laughing}

MATT: That ninja's not going to blend in with anything, Mike.

MIKE: Except, perhaps, a red ceiling.

MATT: Looks like a red, latex catsuit thing.

MIKE: {overlapping} Yeah. It looks like pretty thick latex too.

{pause}

MATT: Reynold's brother! Nice 'stache!

MIKE: He has a pierced... point of his... Cheat-ness.

MATT: What is he playing? It looks like he's playing Road Rash. On the Genesis.

{pause}

MATT: Thanks. Giving.

[edit] Fun Facts

• The line of Gunhaver telling Blue Laser to "break himself" refers to the opening scene in Shopping For Danger.
• Bubs was "shinin' up a chicken" in lunch special.
• Gryffindor is one of the houses in the boarding school Hogwarts, from the Harry Potter series; its colors are scarlet red and gold (or occasionally maroon and gold) as noted, typically seen on striped scarves like the one in the toon.
• The toon establishes Ripberger required three proofs of purchase, not two as Matt claims.
  • The Ripbergers from Indiana were previously mentioned in the Cheat Commandos DVD Commentary.
• The Dreadnoks are, as mentioned, a mercenary group in G.I. Joe that was often hired by Cobra to do dirty work.
• "Dickensian" refers to the works (or general tone thereof) of Charles Dickens, typically involving poor social conditions or comically repulsive characters.
• Road Rash is a racing game for the Sega Genesis, players control motorcycles and can attack other racers with fists or clubs.

[edit] Fast Forward

• The idea of a mercenary group that wasn't officially on either side was later used in Cheat Commandos: Two Part Episode: Part 2 with the Topplegangers.

[edit] External Links

• watch "Let us give TANKS!"
• watch "Let us give TANKS!" on YouTube
• watch "Let us give TANKS!" on the old Flash site
• view the Flash file for "Let us give TANKS!"
• forum thread re: "Let us give TANKS!"
• watch toon with "floating lime" goof (mirror)
• watch the Flash file with the "floating lime" goof (mirror)