Strong Badia the Free Responses (Marzistar)
From Homestar Runner Wiki
(Difference between revisions)
(→Coach Z: Responses) |
DorianGray (Talk | contribs) (→Coach Z: Italics) |
||
| Line 20: | Line 20: | ||
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Are you ready to put your life on the line for Strong Badia? | :'''STRONG BAD:''' Are you ready to put your life on the line for Strong Badia? | ||
:'''COACH Z:''' Put my life on the line? I thought this was the ROTC! | :'''COACH Z:''' Put my life on the line? I thought this was the ROTC! | ||
| - | :'''STRONG BAD:''' {sigh} And what, pray tell, do you think that stands for? | + | :'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{sigh}'' And what, pray tell, do you think that stands for? |
:'''COACH Z:''' Relaxation of the Coach! | :'''COACH Z:''' Relaxation of the Coach! | ||
:{{short hr}} | :{{short hr}} | ||
Revision as of 20:51, 14 October 2008
Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People has many responses when you talk to various characters and interact with various objects. These are the responses from Marzistar/Homezipan in Strong Badia the Free.
On these pages, A → B (right arrow) means that the response happens when object A is used on thing B, or in the case of talking to other characters, the indicated sequence of chat topic icons are chosen.
A short horizontal line between two or more responses, such as the one above, means only one of the responses is heard at a time, and that the action results in a different response each time it occurs.
When arriving for the first time
{Cue fade in as Strong Bad walks into Marzipan's back yard.}
- MARZIPAN: Come on in... we're so glad that you made it this fa... {becomes hostile} Oh, it's just Strong Bad.
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: Do you have any fruit to declare?
- STRONG BAD: What brand of idiocy have I stumbled upon here?
- MARZIPAN: This is the Free People's Republic of Marzistar. A hostile territory.
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: Welcome to Homezipan!
- MARZIPAN: {turns towards Homestar} Homestar, we've talked about this. It's Marzistar.
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: No, seriously. Do you have any fruit to declare?
Coach Z
- STRONG BAD: Are you ready to put your life on the line for Strong Badia?
- COACH Z: Put my life on the line? I thought this was the ROTC!
- STRONG BAD: {sigh} And what, pray tell, do you think that stands for?
- COACH Z: Relaxation of the Coach!
- STRONG BAD: What's the situation in Coachnya?
- COACH Z: Rebels invaded and changed the scoreboard to spell dirty words if you look at it upside-down. It's a madhouse!
- STRONG BAD: Ready to take on the Of Town, private?
- COACH Z: Private, public, I like all kinds of restrooms.
During extended play
- STRONG BAD: The war's over, Coach Z. You can go back home now.
- COACH Z: Yeah, I should go back to that musty gym. Instead of out here in a nice garden... {starts speaking obsessively} ...behind Marzipan's house... where I can watch her... always...
- STRONG BAD: {wittingly} Congratulations, Coach. I just spent the last few hours carrying my brother's internal organs in a jar, and you still managed to top that on the creepy scale.
Homsar
- STRONG BAD: Are you gonna keep a cool head in battle, Homsar?
- HOMSAR: Daaahh, I'll take the last bus to the bake sale!
- STRONG BAD: That'll work too.
Mailbox
- STRONG BAD: I wonder if Marzipan ever got that stink bomb I sent to... {searches mailbox} ...ooh even better! Page 2 of my Algebros instruction manual! This one details the icy-hot "Polar Coordinates Attack" move.
- STRONG BAD: {checks mailbox} No mail for Marzistar.
Memorial
- STRONG BAD: "Frank Benedetto. Fell in service to his country during the first battle of Strong Badia." {turns to the camera} Even though we were on different sides of that conflict, that soldier had real butter. {almost chokes} Gotta respect that.
- STRONG BAD: "Frank Benedetto. Fell in service to his country during the first battle of Strong Badia."
Onion Patch
- STRONG BAD: This land looks bountiful, but if onions are Marzistar's only crop, I'm not signing up to be their Breath Smell Ambassador.
- STRONG BAD: Once Strong Badia takes over, these onions will be cleverly chopped and deep fried into the shape of blossoming flowers!
Metal Detector → right side of the Onion Patch
- STRONG BAD: {digs up a flag} A souvenir flag from the People's Republic of Marzistar. {unsurprisingly} Let me guess: it bio-degrades into an eco-friendly fertiliser.
Pom Pom
- STRONG BAD: Got any cool combo moves you could teach the troops, Pom Pom?
- POM POM: {bubbles conversationally}
- STRONG BAD: {shocked} The 12-point exploding rooster technique? That's probably overkill for the Of Town. I just wanna underkill him.
Strong Mad
- STRONG BAD: Ah, good ol' Lugnut and Squeak, reunited under the flag of Strong Badia.
- STRONG MAD: {hugs The Cheat harshly} I MISSED YOU SO!
- THE CHEAT: {struggling to breathe} Mzzzzmmmememmmemeehhhh...
During extended play
- STRONG BAD: War's over, Strong Mad. You can go home now.
- STRONG MAD: REFUGEE!
- STRONG BAD: No really, Strong Mad. You can go back home.
- STRONG MAD: SUPPORT THE WAR VETERANS!
- STRONG BAD: {sigh} He'll find his way back home eventually.
Strong Sad
- STRONG BAD: So, Dump-tenant. Ready to be the battle's first casualty?
- STRONG SAD: You hush! I'm here to provide moral morale for the troops!
- STRONG BAD: Well, I guess you DO make everyone else look leaner and meaner by comparison.
Tony Stony
- STRONG BAD: Tony Stony? What are you doing out here? Wouldn't you be more comfortable in the tight waistband of my inventory? {takes it out from the Model UN}
Model UN/Draft Wheel
Model UN
- STRONG BAD: It's Marzi-pain's folky (i.e. crappily made) arts and crafts display.
- STRONG BAD: Oh, the lands will be united, all right. Under my iron fist! Err, my cotton-padded fist! My cot-TON padded fist.
Bleak House display
- STRONG BAD: All the greatest achievements of Strong Sad's country: twenty-sided dice and cunningly-designed dungeons. He gets beaten up at least five times a day, and it's STILL not enough.
Empty display
- STRONG BAD: Some would say the Strong Badian display is "empty." I say it's "minimalist."
Country display
- STRONG BAD: Nothing in Strong Mad's display but some wadded-up paper and...the handle of a mug he tried to make in pottery class.
Coachnya display
- STRONG BAD: It's the display for Coachnya, and that means three things: Ointment, ointment and more ointment!
Poopslavakia display
- STRONG BAD: A...contribution...from Poopslavakia. Yeah, I'm not going anywhere near that one.
Consessionstan display
- STRONG BAD: The display from Bubs' Consessionstantinople. Looks like a half-eaten chicken wing.
Pompomerania display
- STRONG BAD: From Pompomerania, a half-empty can of Bull Honkey Caffeinergy Sauce.
Homsar Reservation display
- STRONG BAD: And from the Homsar people... a jar of cocktail onions wearing a top hat.
Tony Stony → any display
- STRONG BAD: From the country of Country, a giant rock I've been impossibly keeping in my pants. {places Tony in the specified display} A ha, the balance of power has shifted!
- STRONG BAD: {places Tony in the specified display} A ha, the balance of power has shifted!
Lighter → Model UN
- STRONG BAD: I would love to set that thing on fire, but I got a feeling I'm going to need it.
During extended play
- STRONG BAD: {sets it on fire} FINALLY, this thing is flammable. I've been waiting forever to do that.
Draft Wheel
First time only
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: That's right, folks. {The model UN spins around to reveal a large spinning wheel and a sign labelled "Peace Draft" appears from above".} Once again it's time for the peace draft! Homestar, tell the crowd what fabulous prizes today's winner will walk home with!
{The view cuts over to a corner of the garden closer to the castle. Homestar has quickly shifted to this location.}
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: Well, Homestar, grand prize is an all-expenses-paid trip to the Castle and a meeting with the King of Town!
- MARZIPAN: {arrives back into the garden} Homestar, are you building an army without my permission?
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: {now back in front of the spinning wheel} Nothing, Marzipan! Just my regular old brand of nothing!
- STRONG BAD: {hastily} Quick! Just spin the wheel!
Each time thereafter {The draft wheel sets itself up as Homestar speaks.}
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: And welcome back to Homezipan's Peacetime Draftstravaganza! Let's see who's today's lucky winner.
If the wheel selects anyone other than Coach Z
{The draft wheel spins around so that the Model UN faces the screen, and the Peace Draft sign is pulled back up.}
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: Well, the draft didn't work, Strong Bad. Only one thing left to do: Clone an army of mutant super-soldiers.
- STRONG BAD: No, Homestar, we... {quickly taken by surprise} Wait. That was an option? How come you come up with the unbelievably cool ideas only AFTER I'm committed to this one?
{The Model UN reforms.}
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: No go, Stro Bro.
- STRONG BAD: {disappointed} Ahhh. Keep trying.
Draft Wheel → Hank "the Tank" Benedetto
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: Hank "the Tank" Benedetto? Man, these benedettos are really hoggin' the wheel. Sorry, Hank. We need you on the home front, keepin' the rations fresh.
Draft Wheel → Little Johnny Benedetto
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: Nooo! Little Johnny Benedetto! You always wanted to be like your brother Frank. Well I'm not gonna let you DIE like Frank! The tragedy ends here!
Draft Wheel → Marty Benedetto
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: Marty Benedetto. Fortunately, he's ineligible. He's been classified 4H.
Draft Wheel → Ramon Benedetto
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: Ramon Benedetto? No more! I can't look into Mrs. Benedetto's eyes again and tell her her boy's not coming back home!
Draft Wheel → Tom Benedetto
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: Tom Benedetto? Noooo! Hasn't that family suffered enough?
Draft Wheel → Li'l Brudder
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: Li'l Brudder! {starts crying} Ohhhh, Li'l Brudder! Why? Why is the world so hard on all the little one-legged creatures?
- STRONG BAD: {as Li'l Brudder} Put me in the front lines, sarge! I'm gonna be a four-star general some day!
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: {sobs} Nooooooo! Why did I even put that on the board?
Draft Wheel → Homestar Runner
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: Homestar Runner! I believe the winner is right here in our studio?
{Change camera angle. Homestar's in the same place but his expression has changed.}
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: {angrily} I can't make me serve, fascist!
{Camera angle is changed again, with Homestar's mood changing as well.}
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: Uh oh, looks like we got us an artful draft dodger, ladies and gentlemen!
{Cue another change of camera angle and another change of expression.}
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: {bitterly} No war! No war! What are all y'alls fightin' for?
{Cue another change of camera angle. Homestar retains his angry expression this time.}
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: WHAT is my major malfunction, private?
- STRONG BAD: {unamused} Homestar, you can't draft yourself.
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: Really? I wish I'd known before I signed up for this chicken outfit. Never mind. Bwa-kawk!
Draft Wheel → Coach Z
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: And the lucky winner is... Coach Z!
{The camera focuses in on Coach Z, holding a sign saying "Coachnya Loves Peace", with symbols being represented for the final two words.}
- COACH Z: {surprised} Really?!? I've never won anything before in my life! {throws away the sign and walks towards Homestar}
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: Recruit, are you willing to put your life and some cool camos on the line to defend my country?
- COACH Z: I think they've all overbid! One dollar! One dollar!
- STRONG BAD: {satisfied} Close enough.
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: Welcome to the Homestarmy, soldier!
Homestar Runner
- STRONG BAD: Hey. Homestar.
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: Another loyal subject of Homezipan!
During extended play
- STRONG BAD: What are you doing here, Homestar? I thought you and Marzipinhead broke up.
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: She said she'd take me back if I figure out how to get rid of this stupid draft wheel.
During extended play, after the Model UN is set on fire
- STRONG BAD: Hanging out in the back yard, knocking back a few Cold Ones in front of a roaring draft wheel. It doesn't get any better than this.
- HOMESTAR: You said it, bro. We are bros now, right?
- STRONG BAD: No.
Homestar Runner → Strong Badia
- STRONG BAD: You look like someone who wants to unwillingly join a growing Empire.
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: You're like some type mind-reader! Where do I sign?
- MARZIPAN: {glares at Homestar} Homestar...
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh. Right. {disappointed} I apologize, good ambassador, but my treaty signings and bathroom privileges have been revoked.
- STRONG BAD: Come on, Homestar. Strong Badia's where all the cool people are.
- HOMESTAR: {excited} Cool people are my favorite kind of people! They know all the latest fads! But... {disappointed} uh... we're happy with our independence.
Homestar Runner → Marzipan
- STRONG BAD: Are you gonna let some GIRL tell you how to run your country? I thought we were bros!
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: Wait, I thought I thought we were bros, and you're always beating various stuffings out of me.
- STRONG BAD: I thought we were bros!
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: Sorry man. I know it looks like I'm the brains of this outfit, but my lady friend's got a good head on her shoulders.
- STRONG BAD: Um... Nothing about that last thing you said was true.
- STRONG BAD: I bet Marzipan would like it if you showed a little gumption and mae your own bad decisions.
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: I don't know about that, I'd better go ask her first.
- STRONG BAD: {agitated} Groan. Never mind.
Homestar Runner → No King of Town
- STRONG BAD: Aren't you tired of that The Of Town cramping your style?
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: {annoyed} Oh, you got THAT right! I don't like the way his castle sits up there, undressing me with its eyes.
- STRONG BAD: What're you gonna do when they INVADE?
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: {shocked} Invade Homezipan? Call the militia! This is not a drill, people!
- STRONG BAD: Do you even HAVE a militia?
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: Holy crap, we're defeneseless! {stubbornly} That settles it: I'm getting the band back together! I'm bringing back the Homestarmy!
- MARZIPAN: {annoyed} What was that?
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: {gently} Uh... I said I'm bringing back the Peaceful Homezipan Gentle Flower-Planting Brigade, dear.
Homestar Runner → Homestarmy
- STRONG BAD: What do you need for the Homestarmy, to help me take on The Of Town?
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: {stubbornly} We're gonna need soldiers! Lots o' soldiers. Ol' Tofu-and-Sprouts over there abolished the draft. And we lost too many god men in the last war.
- STRONG BAD: How many soldiers is "lots o'" soldiers?
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: Exactly five.
- STRONG BAD: How did you know you-
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: {interrupts} A colonel {pronounced exactly as it's written} knows these things.
- STRONG BAD: NOW do you have enough soldiers for the Homestarmy?
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: That's a negatory. The peace draft is our only hope. I'm pository about that!
- STRONG BAD: What's the state of the Homestarmy?
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: Does that look like five soldiers to you, private? We could use some more Strong Badian allies to thicken up our watery ranks.
Homestar Runner → Draft Wheel
- STRONG BAD: Why don't you re-instate the draft?
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: That's a great idea!
- STRONG BAD: You should run that draft again, before it's too late.
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: {worried} We may already BE too late!
- STRONG BAD: Run the draft again.
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: Okay!
{The Draft Wheel gets used after any of these above responses.}
Marzipan
- STRONG BAD: Hola, Marzip0wned {pronounced Marzi-puh-owned}. Or however you pronounce that.
- MARZIPAN: What is it, Strong Bad? I've got an awful lot of queening to do.
- STRONG BAD: You and Strong Sad both.
Marzipan → Strong Badia
- STRONG BAD: I want you two to join the Strong Badian Empire. And by "want", I mean "not want", but I can already tell I'm not getting through this place until you guys join up.
- MARZIPAN: No way, Pinochet. Marzistar is a peaceful nation.
- STRONG BAD: Aw come on. {in a seducive voice tone} No nation can resist the roguish charm of Strong Badia's most charming rogue.
- MARZIPAN: Ewww, gross. Marzistar is doing just fine, thanks. We're not trying to take over the world, just make it better.
Marzipan → No King of Town
- STRONG BAD: You don't like The Of Town! I heard you say so! Don't you need protection, with his castle looming overhead so ominously?
- MARZIPAN: We've got a peace treaty with the Municipality. And that means one thing: You will never pass through Marzistar to attack the King of Town!
- STRONG BAD: Don't come cryin' to Strong Badia when The Of Town sends in the Poops...
- MARZIPAN: It's like I already told you, Strong Bad: You will never pass through Marzistar to attack the King of Town!
Marzipan → Homestar Runner
- STRONG BAD: I bet King Homestar really wants to join Strong Badia and take on the castle...
- MARZIPAN: Yeah, but in about five minutes, King Homestar could really want to join an All-Squirrel Football League.
- STRONG BAD: You do have a point there.
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: Put me in, coach! We can BEAT those chipmunks!
- STRONG BAD: What if Homestar MADE you join Strong Badia?
- MARZIPAN: Homestar can't MAKE this country do anything. We're completely equal co-rulers of Marzistar. And what I say goes.
- STRONG BAD: As King, can't Homestar have you beheaded or be-whatever-that-thing-is-ded?
- MARZIPAN: {hostile} He's lucky I don't have HIM executed, the way he invites all his friends over and crashes up the place. {quickly becomes calm} I mean... we have had some disagreements on domestic and foreign policy.
Marzipan → Model UN
- STRONG BAD: What's with the crappy science fair project?
- MARZIPAN: That's my model United Nations! It's a testament to peace, equality, and sharing between all nations of the world. Even yours.
- STRONG BAD: {disgusted} Equality and sharing? Barf! That sounds vaguely... communistic.
- MARZIPAN: {happily} Thanks! I know! I'm collecting treasures from all the developed countries, plus Coachnya, to go in the displays. All to say: "This is what we can do when we work together."
- STRONG BAD: I think I might want to break or break wind on your so-called "united nations".
- MARZIPAN: Well... you can put a national treasure in the Strong Badian display, if you want. Just don't touch the others.
After the Homestarmy obtains its required five soldiers
- MARZIPAN: Homestar, I told you I don't like you having all your friends over, to watch the game and plan paramilitary operations, without asking me first.
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh, you granola bars are all the same! Except for the ones with chocolate chips!
{Marzipan, obviously, doesn't look amused. When the camera switches back to Homestar, he is now shown in his Homestarmy outfit.}
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: You enjoy your freedom to not wash your hair, and play hackey sack, but aren't willing to put an orange bowl on your head, and wave a spoon around!
- MARZIPAN: {very annoyed} Okay, that is it, Homestar. We are THROUGH.
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: Good!
- MARZIPAN: Fine!
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: Better! Your side is East Marzistar, and my side is East Homezipan! Midway along the border we'll set up Checkpoint The Cheat.
- MARZIPAN: Why don't you just make your own country at your house?
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: No way! There's a squirrel in the attic, that I sometimes think it's a spooky ghost!
- MARZIPAN: {walks off} Whatever!
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: All right, maggots! Aten... HUT!
{The camera pans around to show all the recruited members for the Homestarmy - Coach Z, Pom Pom, Homsar, Strong Sad and Strong Mad.}
- STRONG BAD: You call this a Homestarmy? Somebody's going to have to whip these wastes of panty-waists into shape.
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: Take it away, Your Dryness! Just lemme know when you want to start attacking the castle!
Prep Talk
- STRONG BAD: Has anyone seen my contact lens?
- STRONG BAD: No retreat! No surrender! Double impact! Timecop!
- STRONG BAD: All right, men. It's time to put up or shut up. Actually, just shut up.
- STRONG BAD: We've got to hit him where all old people are the weakest: right in the paunch.
- STRONG BAD: This, men, will be our finest hour. (Ugh, I hope this doesn't take an hour.)
- STRONG BAD: The Of Town's forces are mightier than his monthly Danish bill.
- STRONG BAD: We must strike the castle with back alley surgical precision.
- STRONG BAD: Do you want to die a hero, or live as a dead hoagie?
- STRONG BAD: They will be expecting a well-organized and disciplined invasion force. So... we'll have surprise on our side.
- STRONG BAD: The castle's defences are weakest in its tastebuds and its... {flinches} ...uvula.
- STRONG BAD: Shrieking and crying are perfectly acceptable responses to an attack.
- STRONG BAD: The first thing you'll notice about The Of Town is that he smells like fresh-baked breads. Do not be fooled!
Prep talk → Coach Z
- STRONG BAD: Do I make myself clear?
- COACH Z: Sore, yes sore!
Prep talk → Pom Pom
- STRONG BAD: Am I BORING you, private?
- POM POM: {bubbles attentively}
Prep talk → Homsar
- STRONG BAD: Have something to share with the rest of the class?
- HOMSAR: Daaaahhhh, I'm the local Leroy!
Prep talk → Strong Sad
- STRONG BAD: Do you WANT to die, soldier?
- STRONG SAD: {ponders} Hmmm... well...
Prep talk → Strong Mad
- STRONG BAD: Shape up, private!
- STRONG MAD: {upset} SORRY SIR! {straightens himself up}
Prep talk → Homestar Runner
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: You ready to take on the Of Town, chief? {pronounced as it's written}
Homestar Runner → No King of Town
- STRONG BAD: Nah, these clowns still need to be toughened up.
Homestar Runner → The King of Town
This scene can also be seen by getting all five Homestarmy members at attention.
- STRONG BAD: On to the castle! Death to the Of Town!
- STRONG MAD: ATTACK!
- THE CHEAT: {determined The Cheat noises}
- POM POM: {bubbles confidently}
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: {imitating gunfire} Ptoo! Ptoo!
- COACH Z: Vive le Revelation!
{Everyone goes over the fence and runs towards the Castle, with Strong Bad leading the group. Eventually, the charge comes to a freeze frame, before it transforms itself into a slightly grayed poster with the remark "Believe in YOURSELF" written on it. The player is taken to the Castle at this point.}
Fake Sword
Fake Sword → Strong Mad
- STRONG BAD: {dubs Strong Mad with sword} I dub thee, Sir Huge Wall Von Big Guy!
- STRONG MAD: I'VE NEVER BEEN MORE PROUD!
Fake Sword → Coach Z
- STRONG BAD: I dub thee... Coach Zed, Lord High Protector of Butt-Pattery.
This article is a stub. You can help the Homestar Runner Wiki by expanding it.
