A Death Defying Decemberween

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Toon Category: Holiday Toon
watch Hooked on Decemberween April Fool 09
"Death-defying Entertainment!"

Homestar plans to sled down a very steep hill on Decemberween, to Strong Bad's jealousy.

Cast (in order of appearance): Coach Z, Strong Mad, Marzipan, Bubs, Strong Bad, Homestar Runner, The Cheat, The Announcer (voice only)

Places: The Field, Holiday-Themed Set, Basement of the Brothers Strong, Steep Deep

Date: Monday, December 22, 2008

Running Time: 5:27

Page title: Hope it's not too...Late!


[edit] Transcript

{The title screen, in the style of a needlepoint sampler, appears, with the words "A Death-Defying Decemberween", a helmet, and some holly. Cut to a snow-covered field, where a group of characters is standing, all dressed in winter attire, and adorning a snowman with The Stick. Strong Bad enters from the side, carrying six mugs of hot chocolate with a few marshmallows inside them.}

STRONG BAD: Hot choco, everyone! Hope it's not too... late! Choco? Late? Choco-late? Huh?

BUBS: What a cut-up!

COACH Z: A real ham!


MARZIPAN: Thanks, Strong Bad! What a wonderful byproduct of your parole!

{She takes a mug. Then, Homestar enters from the side.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {angrily} Psshft! Whatever! That's not death-defying entertainment, Strong Bad!

STRONG BAD: But I wasn't talking about... Hot chocolate, I—

HOMESTAR RUNNER: That's right! This Decemberweeve, I, homestarrunner.com, will attempt to sled down... The Steep Deep!

{Cut to a shot of the Steep Deep, a mountain with a slope at an extreme angle}

ALL: {gasp}

COACH Z: The Steep Deep! No one's ever been brave-slash-boneheaded enough to try and conquer that monster!

BUBS: You'll break your face into an unrecognizable clump!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: No way, dog! No way, Bubs! My face doesn't know the meaning of "unrecognizable clump"!

STRONG BAD: What about the rest of you?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: I'll ask them later. {leans in toward Strong Bad} Just mark your calendars! Pre-game starts at twelve, kickoff's set for 12:30. {leaps into the air} Death-defying entertainment! {"tainment" echoes a few times}

{The scene cuts to the title card, now showing an image of Homestar's jump}

ANNOUNCER: {sounding a little garbled} We now return to Homestar Runner's Death-Defying Decemberween Special.

{Applause. The scene fades into a set for a decorated home. Homestar is playing the piano. He is wearing a yellow cardigan over a shirt and tie, and has a pipe in his mouth. Bubs' arm can be seen through the window, periodically throwing snow}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {takes the pipe out} Oh, hi! I didn't see you come in. {sets the pipe on the piano} Sure is cold out there. Would you like a cup of hot jones? {produces a steamy mug of liquid topped with what seems to be whipped cream and red sprinkles and hands it to the viewer's point of view}

AUDIENCE MEMBERS: {offscreen} Oh! Ooh!

MAN: {offscreen} Hot what?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: That's better.

{The camera swings around to the side, revealing Coach Z's arm holding the mug, which quickly moves out of the shot}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {begins walking, and a wall calendar comes into view. It reads: December 24 "The D'weeve, yo!"} You know, nothing says "Decemberween" like death-defying entertainment. That's why, this Decemberweeve, I'm going to attempt to sled down the Steep Deep.

AUDIENCE MEMBERS: {collective gasps}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {ducks down, then pops up closer to the camera} I might could die. {the audience laughs}

{The doorbell rings}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: I wonder who that could be.

{The door swings open, making the set wobble, and revealing Bubs, who is carrying a cardboard box with a bow on it. The audience laughs and cheers as Bubs waves. One of the audience members screams "Onion Bubs!"}

BUBS: Well, hey, Homestar! You didn't tell me you were having a holiday special over tonight!

{The audience laughs. Homestar and Bubs also fake laughter. Homestar seems annoyed about the joke. Coach Z's arm can now be seen throwing snow outside the window.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Come on in, Bubs. Care to stick around for some soft focus and sparkle filters?

BUBS: I'd love to! {a wreath frames the scene, which goes out of focus and sparkles appear, all accompanied by a small harp strum}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Say, Bubs! Say, Bubs! What's in the package?

BUBS: {walks over to the piano, where Homestar is} Well, open it up!

{Homestar takes the box and opens it, pulling out a small sled}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Gee whiz! {audience oohs and ahhs} A brand new sleddin' board! Just what I needed for the Steep Deep!

BUBS: And I pre-printed an epitaph on there, {camera shows the epitaph on the sled, which reads: "Here Lies Homestar Runner.com Death-Fying Entertainer and Father of Six"} so it can double as a gravestone in case you don't make it! {audience laughs}

{Camera zooms in on Homestar.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Ummmmmmmmmm... {mouth wiggles} Gulp! {audience laughs}

STRONG BAD: {offscreen} What a crock-pot full of smaller crock-pots!

{Cut to the Brothers' Strong's Basement, where Strong Bad and The Cheat are on the couch in front of the TV}

STRONG BAD: I should be the one sitting on a flimsy holiday-themed set on a sound stage promoting my upcoming daredevilry! {dejectedly} Stupid conditions of my parole!

THE CHEAT: {leaps off the couch} {The Cheat noises} {begins to walk off}

STRONG BAD: Where d'you think you're going?

THE CHEAT: {explanatory The Cheat noises}

STRONG BAD: A previous engagement? Since when do you talk like that?

THE CHEAT: {The Cheat noises} {walks out}

STRONG BAD: {rubs his gloves together} This is very unsuspicious behavior for The Cheat. Which, of course, makes it very suspicious! As soon as I finish this cup of hot jones, {grabs the mug sitting next to him} I'm gonna find out what he's up to. {Strong Bad slurps noisily from the mug} Oh, {smacks lips} that's good jones.

{Iris to a shot at the foot of the Steep Deep at night. Strong Bad sneaks in from the left and ducks behind a bush}

STRONG BAD: {peers out from behind the bush} What the crap?

{Over-the-shoulder shot from behind Strong Bad, revealing Homestar and The Cheat dumping snow on a mattress}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: All right, The Cheat. {sets shovel down} Now, you're sure no one will see this buried here when I sled down?

THE CHEAT: {affirmative The Cheat noises}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Thanks, man. I own you big time for this one. {begins shoveling again}

{Cut back to Strong Bad}

STRONG BAD: So, The Cheat's helping Homestar the cheat, eh? I wonder what would happen without that mattress there... {scratches his chin} Hmm...

{Scene fades out}

{Record scratch. Scene immediately brightens}

STRONG BAD: Oh, wait. Homestar would probably die! I gotta go move it!

{Scene fades out again}

{Another record scratch. Scene immediately brightens again}

STRONG BAD: I was really wondering for a second there.

{Scene cuts to the next day, where the crowd is gathered in front of the Steep Deep.}

THE ANNOUNCER: {voiceover; over loudspeaker} Ladies and gentlemen, here he is! {cut to a long shot of the Steep Deep, where Homestar is perched precariously on top} The man that's about to do a thing! Homestar Runner!

{Zoom in on Homestar, who is huddled on the sled.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: I'm not very good at speeches...! {slight echo}

{long, expectant pause}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {leans forward and sleds down the hill} WAAAAAH! {continues screaming throughout}

{Silhouetted shot of Homestar sledding down the incline.}

{Several rapidly changing shots of a blurry Homestar speeding down the hill, and of the shocked expressions of the crowd. The shots get closer and change more quickly until it cuts back to the silhouetted shot, where Homestar reaches the bottom of the hill, flips 90 degrees, and lands gently, with a small ding. Triumphant fanfare.}

COACH Z: {waving arms wildly} He made it!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {surprised} I made it!?

STRONG BAD: {also surprised} He made it?!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {looks around, then gets up} {angrily} The Cheat! What happened to my mattress filled with hammers, broken glass, and candy canes sucked down till they're all pointy?

STRONG BAD: Wait, that mattress was full of danger? Why would you want to land on something like that?

MARZIPAN: {walking up} All right, Homestar! It's time to go to my parents' house for Decemberweeve brunch!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {dully sarcastic} Oh, the joy and the glory. {angrily} Because I safely made it down the Steep Deep, {dully sarcastic again} I get to spend another Decemberween with Mrs. Marzipan and her latest husband.

MARZIPAN: {walking away} Seth is having some of his philosophy department colleagues over again this year. {Homestar hangs his head and walks off with her}

STRONG BAD: {grinning widely} Have fun, Homestar! {waves} Thanks for the death-defying entertainment! {turns to The Cheat} I gotta give Homestar credit. Using ridiculously elaborate schemes involving {pulls out the pipe} bone-curdling injuries to avoid spending time with family {the piano backdrop lowers into place} is the kind of Decemberween tradition I can get behind. {wreath frame appears} {pulls out a plank of wood with some nails stuck in it} Now work me over with this two-by-four before we have to go to Great Gamaw's again. {tosses the plank to The Cheat}

THE CHEAT: {The Cheat noises} {rears back with the plank, as the soft focus and sparkle filters reappear with the harp flourish}

{cut to a black screen reading "The End." just as the plank hits Strong Bad}

STRONG BAD: OW! {the audience laughs}

{cut to Homestar and Marzipan (partly out of frame) seated in wooden chairs. Homestar is once again wearing his cardigan, shirt and tie, and still wearing the helmet.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {faking laughter} Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho. {dully sarcastic} Brown sweater. {holds up the sweater} It's like you read my mind. {turns} And my compliments to the Seth. The food was atrocious.

{cut back to the "The End." screen, which now also has a "back" button}

[edit] Fun Facts

[edit] Explanations

  • Parole is a court-approved early release from prison on certain conditions specified by the court. Violation of these conditions means the person in question is returned to prison to complete their sentence.
  • An epitaph is a message printed or engraved into a gravestone explaining the person's achievements.
  • Homestar's blatantly self-aware holiday special, complete with his affected pipe and sweater, and the soft focus and sparkle filters parodied in this short are a hallmark of the many holiday variety shows from the 1960s and 1970s.

[edit] Trivia

  • The YouTube description for this toon is "Homestar attempts to sled down The Steep Deep!"

[edit] Remarks

  • After the sled run, Marzipan says they are going to a brunch, yet Homestar scheduled his sled run at 12:30, around lunchtime.

[edit] Goofs

  • While sledding down the Steep Deep, Homestar Runner appears to be tilting backwards when the screen pans out to a silhouette of the hill, both as he starts to move down the hill and as he lands, although he is seen sitting up in the sled during his multiple high-speed close-ups between the two times that the silhouette of the hill is shown.
  • When Homestar Runner is playing the piano at the beginning of the TV show, the notes are going down, but he plays the keys going up.
  • The epitaph cannot be seen on the sled after it is shown on the TV show set.
  • On the TV show set, Homestar Runner's outfit buttons left side over right, but while presumably wearing the same outfit sitting next to Marzipan at the end of the toon, it buttons right side over left. Men's shirts usually button left side over right.
  • After Coach Z pulls the hot jones offscreen during Homestar Runner's televised special, Homestar's jacket shading becomes lighter than the actual jacket.

[edit] Inside References

  • Homestar Runner's calendar in his televised special says "The D'weeve, yo!", which is a reference to the calendar in Homestar Presents: Presents.
  • At the brunch, Homestar receives a sweater with sleeves.
  • Homestar Runner and Strong Bad refer to drinking jones.
    • The term "hot jones" is a play on "hot cup of joe", a term for coffee.
  • Strong Bad's being on parole hearkens to his arrest(s) during Strong Bad is in Jail Cartoon.
    • Conditions of early release were also mentioned in other days.
  • Homestar referring to himself as homestarrunner.com is an instance of breaking the fourth wall.
  • Homestar and Strong Bad are shown holding pipes.
  • Homestar attempts to defy death.
  • Homestar's pronunciation of "gulp" is another example of spoken sound effects.
  • This is yet another instance of Strong Bad smiling.
  • Homestar calls Coach Z "dog".
  • Homestar Runner wears brown pants during his televised Decemberween special.
  • Homestar and Marzipan head over to her parents' house at the end.
  • One of the audience members screams "Onion Bubs" (a reference to the email original) when Bubs enters the TV show set.
  • The phrase "might could" was previously seen in modeling.
  • Strong Bad saying "So The Cheat is helping Homestar the Cheat" is a reference to A Jumping Jack Contest, where Strong Bad says a similar line.

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