Minor Thy Dungeonman Characters

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Minor Characters from Thy Dungeonman, Thy Dungeonman II, and Thy Dungeonman 3.

Contents

[edit] Thy Dungeonman

Image Description
[edit] The Narrator

The Narrator appears in every single Thy Dungeonman. He instructs Thy Dungeonman on his way, describes his surroundings (because there's no precious graphics to help him out, except in Thy Dungeonman 3), points out clues, and adds a sarcastic touch to the whole experience of playing. He always asks what Thy Dungeonman wouldst deau in whatever situation Thy Dungeonman happens to find himself in, though many things Thy Dungeonman tells him do not computeth. Though he only claims to speak Old English (and specifically not Spanish or "Idiot" language), he occasionally slips and will speak in Modern-day English, however, he corrects himself most of the time if he does slip. Arguably the same narrator from Peasant's Quest and Text Quest.

[edit] Dennis

See main article: Dennis

Dennis, in Thy Dungeonman, is two things: a direction (or "obvious exit") and an actual person. The direction can only be accessed from the main dungeon. Its opposite direction is "not Dennis". Dennis the actual person wears a sporty frock coat and a long "jimberjam" and enjoys pacing around nervously. Thy Dungeonman thinks Dennis is boring in conversation. It is necessary to give Dennis a trinket in order to complete the game.

[edit] Rope

Rope is a deadly enchanted rope that glows a mustard-red and smells like a public privy. Thy Dungeonman has seen better rope. Rope disguises itself as an obtainable item that will kill Thy Dungeonman if he attempts to "GET ROPE". It is probably the danger that the scroll refers to when it says "BEWARE, READER OF THE SCROLL, DANGER AWAITS TO THE-". While the scroll disappears in Thy Dungeonman's hands with ye olde zap before he could finish reading it, it probably would have said NORTH, where the rope is located.

[edit] Thy Dungeonman II

Image Description
[edit] Painting of David Bowie

A Painting of David Bowie appears in Custodial Magistrate Ripberger's office. In it, David Bowie is shaking hands with Magistrate Ripberger. The painting sits alongside pictures of Magistrate Ripberger shaking hands with other famous people, such as King Arthur and King Graham (King Graham, the protagonist of most of the King's Quest series, is fictional and may be the ruler of Thy Dungeonman's world). The painting shows David Bowie during the Tin Machine era. Thy Dungeonman himself is more of a Ziggy Stardust fan. While originally it says that it is a painting, the narrator later says "that picture was taken during...", referring to it as though it were a photograph. Perhaps it was a photograph of a painting? Or a painting of a photograph?

[edit] Custodial Magistrate Ripberger

Custodial Magistrate Ripberger is the head of thy Dungeon and Thy Dungeonman's boss. His office is southwest of Thy Dungeonman's cell. It features many impressive pictures of him with famous people (see above). It also has a conspicuous drawer that is locked and can only be opened by a key located inside a chamberpot. Inside the drawer is a map. Once Thy Dungeonman leaves with the map, he encounters Magistrate Ripberger, who asks suspiciously "What art thou doing, [player's name]?". Thy Dungeonman waffles his way out of this situation by using "talk magistrate", or muttering "Gumble-duh. Dumble?", to which Ripberger responds "Very well. Carry on." If you do anything but "talk magistrate" the narrator will simply say "Not now! This ist serious!"

His name is reused for the Cheat Commando Ripberger.

[edit] Percy

Percy is a rat in the employ of the crown. His job is to give the Bubonic Plague to any who pass North of him into the maze. He is considered sizeable, but is just smaller than a chamberpot. He looks at Thy Dungeonman blankly until Thy Dungeonman discovers his name by reading his nametag. He thinks Thy Dungeonman's loin-cheese cloth is nice, which is rather creepy. If Thy Dungeonman passes North of Percy (which he must do to complete the game) Percy will bite him and say "This might kill ye a little", thus infecting Thy Dungeonman with Bubonic Plague. He then slams and locks the door behind Thy Dungeonman.

There is a charcoal painting of him later in the game, which the Dongrel is allergic to. After Thy Dungeonman kills the Dongrel Percy returns, angry at Thy Dungeonman for stealing one of his jokes (this might kill ye a little), which he claims is his stale bread and curdled butter and what everyone knows him for. However, Percy dies when he leaps into scalding waters after Thy Dungeonman's (delicious to him) loin-cheese cloth.

[edit] Longrels, Hongrels, and Mongrels

See main article: Longrels, Hongrels, and Mongrels

Longrels, Hongrels, and Mongrels are monsters that occupy the maze. They will kill Thy Dungeonman if he does not have a mop to defend himself with. To kill them, Thy Dungeonman must swing his mop either low, high, or "middlin" (or middle), depending on the monster. Each monster must be struck in a location that corresponds to the first letter of its name (low for Longrels, high for Hongrels, and middlin for Mongrels) .

[edit] Sous-Chef

The Sous-Chef is merely a disguise of the Dongrel. In this disguise, the Dongrel tends to and sloppily mashes up root vegetables. He repeatedly spits and scratches his dandruff into the vegetables. They also have long grody hairs in them. Thy Dungeonman makes a note to himself to never order the root vegetables.
See Also: Dongrel

[edit] Saw Doctor

The Saw Doctor resides in the infirmary. He is very busy, but will treat patients who cannot wait. Patients who choose to wait will die waiting and listening to last year's minstrel hits from such bands as Sir Lance and the Lots. After treating patients by sawing off their plague and mashing a ball of leeches onto the wounds, he gives them a sucker that causes severe explosion of the head if eaten by Dongrels or children under 2. A sign in the infirmary reads "Ask thy doctor about CRAFTSMAN TOOLS". If asked, the doctor replies "Nothin takes a rotten leg off like Craftsman!" and a little jingle plays.

[edit] Healer and the Sitar-playing Satyr

The Healer, or "Homeopathic Pathologist", will kill Thy Dungeonman of endless questioning. Examples of her questions are "Is love in thy heart?", "Are you finding satisfaction at work?", "Any unwanted stress in your life?", "Getting enough iron?", "Do you find yourself quaffing mead alone and often?", and "Aggle phibble stroo?". She constantly rubs oil and powder onto a statue for an unknown reason, eats flowers, and smells either like fruity dirt or dirty fruit.

The Healer is accompanied by a sitar-playing satyr.

[edit] Sir Lance and the Lots
Sir Lance and the Lots
Origins Thy Dungeonman Universe
Genre(s) Minstrel
Members Sir Lance, whoever "the Lots" are
Backup N/A
Discography Last year's minstrel hits (judging by the release date of Thy Dungeonman II, the "last year's hits" would have been released in 2003)
Producer N/A

Sir Lance and the Lots is a minstrel band. They, apparently, broke up and then reformed. Thy Dungeonman doesn't know why they didn't just stay broken up (he obviously doesn't like them). Their music plays in the Saw Doctor's waiting room. Their name is a play on the name "Sir Lancelot", specifically Lancelot, one of King Arthur's knights of the round table.

Dongrel.PNG
[edit] Dongrel

See main article: Dongrel

In Thy Dungeonman II, it turns out that the Sous-Chef is really just a Dongrel in disguise. It is allergic to charcoal dust, which causes him to rear back, pimper, and sneeze. Also, if a Dongrel (or child under 2) eats the sucker that Thy Dungeonman is given by the Doctor then severe explosion of the head may occur in a large "THY DOOOOOOOOSSHHJGHJHJHH!!" The final way of killing the Dongrel is simply "kill chef" before it turns around to reveal that it's a dongrel. The Dongrel died with an emerald, bauble-encrusted brooch bracelet clutched in its claws.

In Thy Dungeonman 3, a dead Dongrel (pictured) appears in the first dungeon Thy Dungeonman finds himself in. Thy Dungeonman takes advantage of the Dongrel's sharp claws and uses them to free himself from his restraints.

[edit] The King and Maiden Ogletree

The King congratualtes (sic) Thy Dungeonman for his varied accomplishments throughout Thy Dungeonman II, including escaping the restrictive restraints of the royal sewer and his clothes. He judges Thy Dungeonman worthy of taking his daughter, the fair Maiden Ogletree, to the Enchantment under the Parapets dance.

The fair Maiden Ogletree is The King's daughter. She goes out with Thy Dungeonman to the Enchantment under the Parapets dance, though it is not known whether she actually wants to or not.

[edit] Thy Dungeonman 3

Image Description
[edit] Annoying Whiner Bird

The Annoying Whiner Bird is, appropriately, an annoying, ugly bird that resides just south of the Monastery. It sits upon a rock morbling and ganching (Thy Dungeonman can take the morbling, but it's the ganching that really cheeses him off). Thy Dungeonman cannot communicate with the bird because his morbling is rusty and he hasn't ganched since he was but a pimple-faced dungeonteen. Thy Dungeonman can't stand the constant annoying noise created by the bird, but if he tries to kill the bird then the bird will peck his eyes out and kill him.

Later in the game Thy Dungeonman befriends the bird by giving it corn. The bird immediately stops its whining, hops into Thy Dungeonman's hand and nibbles corn out of his ear (it is not explained why Thy Dungeonman puts corn in his ear). The bird helps Thy Dungeonman defeat the troll; much like in Colossal Cave, an early text adventure, a small bird you fed would follow you and later fend off a giant green snake.

[edit] Fat, Fat Friar

The Fat, Fat Friar (a.k.a. Lord Round Mound, ol' Fatmonk McMunchalot or simply "a Monk") is a massively obese robed monk. He lives in the "Fatmonk Monastery" and is first seen eating a glazed ham at a small table beside a large cauldron within the monastery. He is so fat that Thy Dungeonman originally mistakes him for a group of robed monks. Thy Dungeonman also originally mistakes him for a nice man, which is false. In fact, if Thy Dungeonman takes the Friar's Stein then the Monk will club Thy Dungeonman's head with a "mutton chop" and then try to cook and eat him. This is not because Thy Dungeonman took the stein, however; doing so only triggers the event to happen, evident because the Friar did not take back his stein. The real reason that the monk tries to eat Thy Dungeonman is because "Foodstuffs art scarce these days", though this statement contradicts that the Friar was just eating a large glazed ham. Thy Dungeonman is able to escape simply by going south. After the Friar tries to eat him Thy Dungeonman thinks that he is a total jerk and "yuck". If Thy Dungeonman is stupid enough to return north to the monastery then he will surely die.

[edit] Log

The log occupies the thickly thuckled woods. It is hollowed out "like in a kid's story or something". Within it is a bag of coins. Thy Dungeonman cannot pick it up and trying to do so only brings him painful memories of finishing last in the Worlds Strongest Dungeonman contest. The log somehow follows Thy Dungeonman as he becomes more and more lost in the wood, and even becomes "freaked out" when Thy Dungeonman goes too far into the woods. Later when Thy Dungeonman has the map he can easily bypass the log and move on to the next plot element, Hag.

[edit] Vegetable Cart Man

The Vegetable Cart Man ("veggie cart dude" or "VCD" for short) sells "vegetable cart vegetables", corn, at his vegetable cart on the overlook that overlooks the village of Westerburg. He looks like the type of dude who would follow around traveling minstrels (perhaps Sir Lance and the Lotts), sleep in his cart, and sell rotten vegetables to teenagers for kerosene money. The Narrator momentarily slips by saying "gas money" instead of kerosene money. He has seen the dungeon Thy Dungeonman was in during the beginning of the game and refers to it as an "intense, crush-ye-with-spikes" type of dungeon. He exchanges his (dried) corn for bags of coins, which is called "commerce at work". After selling corn to Thy Dungeonman he remarks "Here you go", then something odd such as "magick happens" or "kill your scrolls".

[edit] Pub Barkeep

Pub Barkeep runs an unpopular pub in Westerburg that is almost always empty save for himself. He looks like a "goode" enough barkeep, though he is not a very goode customerkeep. His pub is unpopular because all of his old customers stole all of his steins and left to drink at the Northern Tavern. Nowadays steins are so scarce for him that anyone with their own gets a free drink. He serves disgusting looking liquid which is almost certainly Mongrel pee. The liquid is stored in a large keg. When asked if he's seen any good dungeons lately he will look around the pub shiftily (although the pub is empty) and mentions that Thy Dungeonman (whom he calls "love", seriously freaking Thy Dungeonman out) should talk to a man named Kigalonian who resides in the Tavern. If Thy Dungeonman tries to kill him he will be met by Pub Barkeep's more successful attempts at killing him with a rusty hook.

His pub features 3 shelves, 6 empty bottles on the top shelf (that apparently have not yet been collected by The Recyckling Mage), 7 items that look like tea cups on the second shelf, 3 other items on the lowest shelf, and a large keg marked XXX that Thy Dungeonman hopes is full of Mead Ice.

[edit] The Recyckling Mage

The Recyckling Mage is the recycle collector for the town of Westerburg (and possibly Thy whole Dungeonworld) who may or may not actually exist. If he does exist, then he hadn't been by the Barkeep's pub yet the week Thy Dungeonman visited (if ever) to collect the Barkeep's empty bottles (pictured). He is only mentioned and is never actually seen and cannot be interacted with.

[edit] The Toughs

The Toughs are an unsavory-looking lot of fellows who hang out in the Non-pub Tavern. You cannot talk to all the Toughs at once. Kigalonian is the name of all or at least almost all of the Toughs, and the specific Kigalonian Thy Dungeonman wants to speak to must be picked out of 6 different Toughs based upon the description given to Thy Dungeonman by the Barkeep. If Thy Dungeonman speaks to the wrong "gruff tough" then the Tough will proceed to kill him.

Among the toughs is a swashbuckler (not a pirate) who would likely severely buckle Thy Dungeonman's swash if bothered.

[edit] Kigalonian

Kigalonian (Kiga for short) is a popular name in Westerburg, specifically at the Tavern. He is one of the toughs, along with at least 5 other Toughs named Kigalonian. Each Tough has a combination of two of the features pictured at left. He can be identified based on the description given to Thy Dungeonman by Pub Barkeep. If the correct Kigalonian is identified he will give you a map that he previously used to clean his chamber pot. The map allows you to meet Hag.

[edit] Disgruntled Cleaning Guy

The Disgruntled Cleaning Guy (a.k.a. Disgruntor the Cleaninator) works at the Ye Olde Sandwich Shoppe, Westerburg's local poultry sandwich shoppe. Although he is the Disgruntled Cleaning Guy, he is not cleaning when Thy Dungeonman comes by (though he is, indeed, not gruntled). The shoppe he works at is closed on "Todays" (which is, apparently, a day of the week in Thy Dungeonman's world), but The Disgruntled Cleaning Guy promises to serve customers if they know exactly what they want. The Disgruntled Cleaning Guy does not make good on his promise; he can't give a sandwich and says he can only give you condiments, but even then he will not give you turkey leg grease, one of the two condiments, and will only give you blood/fake ketchup.

[edit] PERSON

PERSON is someone who does not occupy the empty street that is east of Ye Olde Sandwich Shoppe. Empty Street is a black-as-pitch street that does not continue EAST where there are no FLYERS on the GROUND, nor anything else for that matter. You cannot talk to PERSON, because he is not there. The narrator later corrects itself and admits that technically, Thy Dungeonman is there, so there is indeed a PERSON there.

[edit] Hag

Hag is an ancient, bearded widow who spends her days sitting on a stump ferngullying, landbeforetiming, and mumbling about a dungeon to herself beside a large open scrapbook entitled "Cramforth and Hag Memories". She is at least 114 and smells of "rat liqueur ". She once had a husband named Cramforth who died of a bloody head. Thy Dungeonman can masquerade as her husband by pouring blood/fake ketchup on his head and answering several personal questions she asks, the answers to which are in her scrapbook. Once he does so she will give him a flask-getting glove, which Cramforth forgot to wear when trying to destroy the rogue dungeon. She thinks Thy Dungeonman is hot. Ferngullying and landbeforetiming are the smashed-together names for Fern Gully and The Land Before Time, two popular animated kids' movies.

[edit] Cramforth

Cramforth was Hag's husband before he died of a bloody head on his way to vanquish the "rogue dungeon". Little is known about him other than what is in the scrapbook and what is said of him by Hag. He and Hag once went on a Honeymoon together once in either Wensleydire, Rottenscab, Blood Area, or Zork (Zork was one of the first text adventure games). The present he gave Hag for her 114th birthday is either a Toad, an eyeball, an N64 paddle, or a commemorative mug. He and Hag also had anywhere from 1-4 wee hags. Thy Dungeonman is able to disguise himself as Cramforth by applying "fake ketchup" to his head to look like blood and answering questions based on the above information.

[edit] Wee Hags

Wee Hags are the offspring of Hag and Cramforth. Their numbers range from anywhere between one and four. They are only seen in picture form in Hag's scrapbook and it is unknown where they are in the present day.

[edit] Troll

The Troll is a hideous, snarling beast that will pummel and "kracka" the skull anyone who tries to pass South of him to The Stone Bridge. He hates any kind of ganching, whether from Thy Dungeonman or the bird, and is apparently a "ganchaphobe". The bird can easily defeat the Troll, proceeding to peck and ganch at him until he screams "AGH! My style!" and falls into the stream, drowning instantly. He wears a hideous wig.

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