specially marked
From Homestar Runner Wiki
| Strong Bad Email #194 |
|
Strong Bad educates us on the free toys found in cereal boxes.
Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad, The Cheat, Homestar Runner
Places: Computer Room, Strong Badia, Marzipan's House
Computer: Lappy 486
Date: April 21, 2008
Running Time: 3:08
Page Title: Lappy 486
Contents |
Transcript
STRONG BAD: {singing} If everybody in the world checked their email, the Internet would probably break.
subject: cerial box toysHey ho, Strongbad.
What kind of free toys would you put in specially marked
cerial boxes?
PB
Over the hills
{Strong Bad reads 'Hey ho, Strongbad' as 'Hey! Ho! Strongbad!' and 'cerial' as 'keh-ree-al'.}
STRONG BAD: {typing} Ooh, I'm glad you asked, Problem Brian. I've been wanting to give specially marked boxes of cereal a specially marked piece of my mind for some time now.
{A dotted-line circle appears near the top of Strong Bad's head. Two lines appear, going from the circle to a new circle, this time larger and in front of Strong Bad's head. In the bigger circle, there is a picture of Strong Bad's brain.}
STRONG BAD: I choose...this piece.
{An arrow points to a spot on the left side of Strong Bad's brain. He clears the screen, and the circles disappear.}
STRONG BAD: {typing} Well before you get the toys inside, you first have to navigate the treacherous, jaggedy rock filled class 5 rapids of specially marked cereal box fake outs! Luckily, I'm a lame sandal wearing hippie with a ponytail that's been down these rapids with groups of tourists many times!
{Cuts to Strong Badia, where Strong Bad and The Cheat, wearing a ponytail and a helmet, respectively, are in the 'Riverquest Safariventure' box, with a hose running in front of it.}
STRONG BAD: Ok, gang, now I'm gonna need everyone to lean hard to the right! {Strong Bad pulls out some sort of microphone and makes a clicking noise}
{Cut to Marzipan's kitchen. Strong Bad walks in from the right.}
STRONG BAD: The first hazard you have to watch out for is cereals with anything grown in Iowa in the name. You know...
{As Strong Bad says the items, boxes of Corn Flakes, Wheat Chaff, Oh T'meel, Cripsy Hog Crunchities, and Fundament-o's appear, in that order.}
STRONG BAD: ...corn, wheat, oats, hogs, fundamentally-sound college basketball players. Please, do stay away from these. Those cereals only ever put fitness-related crap in specially marked boxes.
{A picture of a step counter appears against a blue background. In flashing letters on the bottom, it says 'One Free TakesteppaTM Step Take Monitor!}
STRONG BAD: {Voiceover} Oh, great! I can count how many steps I took today!
{A picture of a defibrillator appears on-screen. At the top of the screen, it reads 'Clear?! One FreeTM Defib Kit Inside!}
STRONG BAD: {Voiceover} Fantastic! I can restart my heart if it stops!
{Cut back to Marzipan's kitchen, where Strong Bad's face is on a box of 'Hypothetic-O's'.}
STRONG BAD: What you do want to look for are cereals with sound effects in the name.
{The box flies off-screen. When Strong Bad names the sound effects, boxes of Fruit Smax, Chocolate Breakfast Candy Bar Pops, Soundy Puffs, Blue Laser Blasts, and Sugar Rittled Gunshots in a Crowded Mall appear in order.}
STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Smacks, pops, puffs, blasts, and, um, gunshots in a crowded mall.
{Cut to Strong Bad standing in the kitchen. X, explosion, boxing glove, square, shoe, and Marshie shaped marshmallows appear around him.}
STRONG BAD: You know, the kind with the squarey, sugared pieces of styrofoam that they claim are marshmallows. These are guaranteed to have a nice, big—
{Cut to a dirty Strong Bad hand reaching in the box of Cheat Commandos...O's}
STRONG BAD: —reach-your-nasty-unwashed-hand-straight-to-the-bottom-of-the-box toy in it.
{Cut to Strong Bad standing in the kitchen with a box of Fruit Smax on the table.}
STRONG BAD: Next up are the three most useless letters in the specially marked alphabet.
{Zoom to Strong Bad's mouth}
STRONG BAD: U...P...C.
{Cut back to Strong Bad standing.}
STRONG BAD: If you spot these wastes of serif on a cereal box,
{Cut to a bar code}
STRONG BAD: turn and run as fast as you can.
{Cut back to Strong Bad standing.}
STRONG BAD: This means not only are they gonna make you buy {six more boxes of Fruit Smax appear} several more boxes that you have to cut the bar codes off of, but you're also gonna—
{Cut to a close shot of a Cereal Flakes box. Above, the red text reads "FREE PLUSH CEREAL BOX" and the black text reads "WITH 25 PROOFS OF PURCHASE AND $15 SHIPPING AND HANDLING"}
STRONG BAD: —have to involve your mom to write a check for the shipping and handling if she's back from Vegas!
{Record scratch. Cut back to Strong Bad standing, talking angrily}
STRONG BAD: The nerve of those cereals! You leave my mom {slams fist on the table} out of this!
{Screen changes, there is now a box of Cheat Commandos...O's on the desk.}
STRONG BAD: Some cereals can't even be bothered with a toy at all.
{Cut to the box}
STRONG BAD: They try and pass off the back of the box—
{Box flips, revealing a cutout of Crack Stuntman's head, with holes at the sides so that it can be made into a mask.}
STRONG BAD: —as some kind of prize. {Zoom in on the mask} That dotted line you expect me to cut along is like a toyless slap in my face! Masks,
{The image of Crack's face becomes a maze. Gunhaver appears in the bottom left at the maze's entrance, with a caption reading "Help! I'm lost!"}
STRONG BAD: mazes,
{The top part of the maze becomes a word search, most of which consists of uncommon letters, like "Q", while the words "BUY MORE CEREAL" appear in bold. Reynold is seen on the upper right, with a caption reading "Find 3 words!}
STRONG BAD: word searches, PAH!
{Throws box, cut back to Strong Bad standing}
STRONG BAD: I know the kind of kids that enjoyed these funtivities on the backs of cereal boxes, and let me tell you, they were real easy to beat up.
{Homestar Runner walks in wearing a Crack Stuntman mask.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Blah, Strong Bad, blah! I'm a crappy Stuntman!
STRONG BAD: You know what kind of toys I'd put in specially marked boxes?
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Yes.
{Zoom in on Strong Bad}
STRONG BAD: Anything {Reaches into a cereal box} heavy and pointy enough {Zoom in on box} to do lasting damage to the face.
{Zooms out as Strong Bad takes out a chainsaw-car and throws it at Homestar, knocking him backwards onto the floor.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Wahhhh! Strong Bad, while I'm down here, can you help me finish this word search? I can't find 'dextrose-flavornoids'.
{New Paper comes down}
Easter Eggs
- Click the words "Problem Brian" to see the book by Bev Sportsinterviews.
- Click on Homestar's foot at the end to see a printable Crack Stuntman mask.
- Click on Strong Bad's head at the end to see all the cereal boxes shown in the email.
Fun Facts
Explanations
- Class 5 rapids have rocks, waves and possibly a steep drop, requiring advanced rafting experience. It is the second highest of the six whitewater classifications.
- The UPC, or Universal Product Code, is a type of barcode that is used to track the movement of store products.
Trivia
- The Cheat Commandos O's box now has Fightgar saying "Those still aren't O's!", similar to Fightgar's comment "Those aren't O's!" on the box in Cheat Commandos...O's.
Goofs
- The "Problem Brian" Easter egg is still clickable when hidden by the closeup of Strong Bad's brain.
- Strong Bad's hair doesn't move in sync with his head in the Riverquest Safariventure scene.
- The Email Strong Bad and Back buttons at the end of the email are still clickable when hidden by the Crack Stuntman mask's background in the Easter egg.
Inside References
- The chainsaw car is from what I want.
- Strong Bad's ponytail was first seen in bike thief as part of his college student persona.
- The walking man on the step counter is from 50K Racewalker.
- Corn Krunch was previously seen in death metal, where it contained a full-size alto saxophone (contradicting Strong Bad's claims in this email).
- The "riverquest safariventure" ride was first seen in theme park.
- Strong Bad pulls a Ser-g-geant Marshie toy out of the box of Cheat Commandos...O's.
- Also, one of the "squarey, sugary pieces of styrofoam" marshmallows is shaped like Marshie himself.
- This toon prominently features cereal.
- Strong Bad says to "leave [his] mom out of this."
Real-World References
- The opening of the email, "Hey, ho, Strong Bad," is said in a way reminiscent of "Blitzkrieg Bop" by the Ramones. The song's chant was previously parodied in The House That Gave Sucky Treats, in which Marzipan dressed up as Joey Ramone.
- Strong Bad's brain is based off the second form of the final boss in the Super Nintendo game Contra III: The Alien Wars.
- The Fundament-O's box resembles cereal brands like Wheaties, in which they put a popular athlete on the front of every box.
- It is also a reference to Dunk-A-Balls, a basketball-shaped cereal from 1993.
- The 'One Free Takesteppa Step Take Monitor!' is a reference to the free pedometers which have actually come free in boxes of certain healthy cereals.
- "Every step U take" is a line from the song "Every Breath You Take" by The Police.
- The portmanteau "funtivities" was coined by Michael Scott, a character in The Office, during the episode entitled Beach Games.
- There is a cereal named Smacks.
- There was a cereal named Pops. It was originally known as Corn Pops, and was changed to Pops in mid 2006, but was reverted that same year due to poor sales.
- The "squarey, sugared pieces of styrofoam" are a reference to cereals such as Lucky Charms and other such cereals which include marshmallows.
External Links
- watch "specially marked"
- watch "specially marked" on the old Flash site
- view the Flash file for "specially marked"
- forum thread re: "specially marked"
