Teen Girl Squad Issue 5

From Homestar Runner Wiki

Cheerleader, So And So, and The Ugly One go on Spring Break (they "forgot" to call What's Her Face) and try to hang out with some college boys (or "Olda Boys," as Cheerleader says).

Cast (in order of appearance): Cheerleader, So and So, What's Her Face, The Ugly One, Fat Bird, Olda Boys, The Man with the Huge Mouth, George Washington, Abe Lincoln, Henry Rollins, Thomas

Date: March 1, 2004

Running Time: 1:57

Page Title: Spring Type Break!

Contents 1 Transcript 2 Easter Eggs 3 Fun Facts 3.1 Trivia 3.2 Remarks 3.3 Goofs 3.4 Inside References 4 External Links

Transcript

NARRATOR STRONG BAD: Teen Girl Squad!! Cheerleader! {two piece!} So and So! {one piece!} What's Her Face! {same clothes!} The Ugly One! {three piece?!!}

{Open scene to What's Her Face standing by her mailbox. "W HERFACE" is printed on the side of the mailbox.}

WHAT'S HER FACE: I got a postcard.

{Cut to the postcard as What's Her Face reads.}

dear the one with
     baggy pants,
WE'RE ON SPRiNG BREAK!!
We tried to call you but we
forgot. We are having WAY
too much fun and we'll try
to remember to bring you a
shell or some sand.
                    signed,
            the other girls

{What's Her Face stops reading before "signed". Cut back to What's Her Face and the mailbox. She flips the card over.}

WHAT'S HER FACE: This side has birds on it.

{The mailbox chomps the card. What's Her Face's jaw drops.}

NARRATOR STRONG BAD: CHOMP!

{Cut to a fat bird perched on a sign saying "meanwhile, ON VACATiON". Then cut to the beach, with Cheerleader, So and So, and The Ugly One in their bathing suits.}

ALL THREE: {shrieking} WE'RE ON VACATION!

SO AND SO: It's like the fun never ends!

CHEERLEADER: Let's go put our stuff down by them olda boys.

{Cut to a scene of two Olda Boys lying on towels. A nearby cooler reads "College Drinks".}

OLDA BOY 1: I miss video games.

OLDA BOY 2: I miss my mom.

{Cut back to the girls. Cheerleader is already off-screen, So and So is on her way.}

SO AND SO: I bet they play sports!

{So and So exits to the left.}

THE UGLY ONE: Ooh... I'm too NERVOUS!

{The Ugly One sticks her head in the sand. The fat bird perches on her.}

NARRATOR STRONG BAD: PERCH!

THE UGLY ONE: My lungs are filling up with sand. And cigarrette butts.

{Cut back to the Olda Boys. Cheerleader and So and So have arrived. The cooler full of "college drinks" has been moved or has disappeared.}

CHEERLEADER: Hiya boys! Is this spot taken?

CHEERLEADER: We're in college!

SO AND SO: {Overlapping} We're in 8th grade!

{Cheerleader turns and frowns at So and So.}

OLDA BOYS: HA HA HA HA!

{Cheerleader punts So and So off-screen.}

NARRATOR STRONG BAD: PUNT!

SO AND SO: Ow! My hopes of reaching 1st base!

CHEERLEADER: {turns back to the Olda Boys} Oh, that's just my little sister who's at least 5 years younger than me. She's never kissed a boy.

OLDA BOY 1: You look the same age.

CHEERLEADER: {jumps, grows fangs, raises arms and shouts at the Olda Boys} I'M 5 YEARS OLDER AND IN COLLEGE!!!

{Cut to The Man with the Huge Mouth wearing a captain's outfit, piloting the S.S. INEVITABLE. The boat breaks Cheerleader in half.}

NARRATOR STRONG BAD: SAILING MISHAP!!

{Cut back to the Olda Boys. The cooler of "college drinks" can be seen again.}

OLDA BOY 2: I'm gonna miss her.

OLDA BOY 1: I'm gonna miss video games.

{Cut to The Ugly One, whose head is still perched in the sand.}

THE UGLY ONE: I hope nobody cool or famous is staring at me.

{George Washington, Abe Lincoln, and Henry Rollins enter from the left. They point at The Ugly One.}

GEORGE WASHINGTON: Look, look at that girl.

{So and So enters from the right.}

SO AND SO: She's my friend, but not my best. {Pause.} Now who wants to tandem parasail with me?

GEORGE WASHINGTON: Woot!

ABE LINCOLN: Woot!

HENRY ROLLINS: Woot.

{Cut to a title card that reads "IT'S ALMOST OVER". The music cuts out for a second.}

NARRATOR STRONG BAD: IT'S ALMOST OVER!

{The music starts back up as the scene cuts to a skateboarding half-pipe. What's Her Face is watching Thomas skateboard.}

WHAT'S HER FACE: Do an Indy Nosebone.

{So and So and the presidents parasail by. Thomas is shocked and forgets to do an Indy Nosebone.}

SO AND SO: Soooooooo goooooooooood...!!

WHAT'S HER FACE: {jaw drops} I think my friend and some presidents just flew by.

{Thomas rolls back down the ramp and performs a 360.}

NARRATOR STRONG BAD: LATE 360 SHOVE-IT TO BONELESS!!

{After a pause, the LATE 360 SHOVE-IT TO BONELESS is amended to say LATE 360 SHOVE-IT TO BONELESS'D.}

NARRATOR STRONG BAD: ...'d!

WHAT'S HER FACE: Sweet moves, Thomas!

NARRATOR STRONG BAD: NOW IT'S OVER!

Easter Eggs

At the end, click the "O" in "Now" for a conversation between the "olda boys."

(Set to the Teen Girl Squad theme song)

OLDA BOY #1: "I miss video games."

OLDA BOY #2: "I miss my mom."

OLDA BOY #1: "I miss video games."

OLDA BOY #2: "I-I-I miss my mom."

OLDA BOY #1: "I miss video games."

OLDA BOY #2: "I miss my mom."

OLDA BOY #1: "I miss video games."

OLDA BOY #2: "I-I-I miss my mom."

Fun Facts

Trivia

• The stamp on the postcard has an outline of Abe Lincoln.

Remarks

• "Cigarrette" is misspelled.
• The girls are presumably thirteen or fourteen, as evidenced by So And So's screwup.
• It is impossible to do a late 360 shove-it to boneless. A boneless is a variation of an ollie, and therefore would have to come first.
• This Teen Girl Squad issue subtly implements the "birds getting killed" tradition by the mailbox eating the postcard with birds on it.

Goofs

• When George Washington, Abe Lincoln, and Henry Rollins look at The Ugly One in the sand, Lincoln has no arms.

Inside References

• Cheerleader "PUNTS" So and So. What's Her Face also gets punted by a dinosaur in Teen Girl Squad Issue 1.
• According to the postcard, What's Her Face's address is 412 S. Figgis, Mundelow 80808, indicating that she lives near Thorax Corporation headquarters.

External Links

• watch "Teen Girl Squad Issue 5"
• view the flash file for "Teen Girl Squad Issue 5"

Teen Girl Squad
Characters	Main: Cheerleader, So and So, What's Her Face, The Ugly One Gregs: Sci-Fi Greg, D n' D Greg, Open Source Greg, Japanese Culture Greg Minor: Arrow'd Guy, The Birds, Brainkrieg, Fighting Growlbacks, Manolios, Mr. Pitters, Mrs. Commanderson, Olympic Man and Coach, Peacey P, Quarterman, she likes cloth, Thomas, Tompkins
Issues	Main: Issue 1, Issue 2, Issue 3, Issue 4, Issue 5, Issue 6, Issue 7, Issue 8, Issue 8½, Issue 9, Issue 10, Issue 11, Issue 12, Issue 13, Issue 14, Issue 15 SBCG4AP: Homestar Ruiner, Cave Girl Squad, Teen Girl Squad Meets Limozeen Toons: 4 Gregs, Decomposing Pumpkins
Miscellaneous	Locations, Costumes, Theme Song, Fangs, -'d, Ow! My X!, Captioned Transitions
Other	Teen Girl Squad Deaths, 404'd, Neon 404'd, Teen Girl Squadcast