couch patch

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Teddy Graham Memories

Strong Bad Email #88

Somebody asks Strong Bad about the history behind the patch on his couch.

Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad, The Poopsmith, Strong Sad, Lil' Strong Bad, Homestar Runner, Coach Z, The Cheat (Easter egg)

Places: Computer Room, Strong Bad's Basement

Computer: Compy 386

Date: November 10, 2003

Running Time: 3:01



STRONG BAD: I'm goin' to try something a little different. {typing} print out million dollar bill.exe

{The computer responds with "Bad command or file name"}

STRONG BAD: {not typing} What? Oh. {typing} no for real, print me out a million dollar bill, man.exe

{The computer responds with "Syntax error."}

STRONG BAD: {typing} um, this time, really print me out a million dollars bill.nofoolin'

{The computer responds with "Cut it out, you."}

STRONG BAD: {not typing} What the—! Don't give me none of that crosstalk! Oh well, it was worth a shot. Now on to... {sighs} on to the e-mail.

{Strong Bad hits enter, types "strongbad_email.exe," and hits enter again}


{Strong Bad pronounces "behiend" as "buh-HEEND" and "form" like it's spelled}

STRONG BAD: Ooh, my pal! {typing} Well Palbert, it's a good story. And now you all have to hear it.

{Cut to flashback of Strong Bad in the basement with a sack, acting mysterious.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Seems I was looking for a place to hide all my Aztec gold. But when I made the first incision, not only did I realize that I don't have any Aztec gold, {bag falls open to reveal it was full of oil filters} but I unleashed a stench of biblical proportions.

{Cut back to Strong Bad in front of the computer}

STRONG BAD: {typing} They had to call in a hazmat team just to hose me hose me hose me {typed then deleted, typed then deleted, then typed} down!

{Cut to The Poopsmith wearing a "Has Matt?" suit hosing Strong Bad down as he screams.}

STRONG BAD: {typing} I had to spend a fortune on Glade plugins.

{Cut to Strong Sad standing next to Strong Bad at the computer.}

STRONG SAD: Now wait a second! That's not how I remember it.

STRONG BAD: Oh, and I'm sure every loser out there wants to hear your loser opinions, loser.

STRONG SAD: They do!

{Cut to flashback of a young Strong Bad in the basement}

STRONG SAD: {voiceover} I seem to remember a young Strong Bad thinking that Olympic sprinter Carl Lewis was a woman. And that he was hot!

{Young Strong Bad writes "Strong Bad LUVS Carla Lewis!! and thinks shes hott!!" with a Sharpie on the couch.}

STRONG BAD: That is entirely untrue.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Lies! All lies!

{Cut to Homestar standing behind Strong Bad.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Clearly I'm the only one who remembers how it all went down.

{Cut to flashback of Homestar laying on the couch in the basement.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {voiceover} It was not so long ago that I was in Strong Bad's basement spitting Teddy Grahams all over the place. One of them got stuck to the ceiling.

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Homestar, shut up! This is about that patch on the couch. It's clearly already on there in your flashback.

{Cut back to the two Brothers Strong and Homestar at the computer}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh, oh, ohhhhh. I thought this week's e-mail was entitled "Teddy Graham Memories."

{Cut to shadowed "This guy's voice has been digitally altered" interview session}

MYSTERIOUS PERSON {Clearly Coach Z, with his voice digitally lowered}: No, no. I got the real scoop. Strong Bad had me over for Gumbo one night, and I don't know what kind of doodoo meat he was using in there, but I had to puke!

{Cut to flashback of Coach Z's shadow in the basement}

COACH Z: {voiceover} So I went downstairs and I noticed this little rip in the couch, so I puked in it!

{Coach Z's shadow pukes in the couch. Cut back to interview session}

COACH Z: {voiceover} I... I'm sorry for what I done!

{Cut back to Strong Bad in front of the computer}

STRONG BAD: {typing} I liked that gumbo! I didn't use no doodoo meat. {shaking fist} If I ever find out who that guy is... Well, palbert, there's your answer. Me? I'm gonna go over there.

{Strong Bad starts to get up from his seat, but sits down again.}

STRONG BAD: {not typing} Oh wait! {typing} make homestar's head explode.exe

{The computer responds with "No can do." The camera pulls back so we can see Strong Sad and Homestar again}


STRONG BAD: Oh crap! this computer is worthless.

{Zoom back to just Strong Bad and the computer. Strong Bad now gets up and leaves. The Paper comes down.}

Easter Eggs

  • You can click on a hidden 'print out million dollar bill, please.exe" at the bottom to print a million dollar bill from the Compy. This is more easily seen if you use the contrast knob to make the background blue.
  • At the end you can click on the "make homestars head explode.exe" link to cut to a short of Homestar, again spitting Teddy Grahams all over da basement.
{cut back to the basement. Homestar is laying on the couch spitting Teddy Grahams all over again, with The Cheat standing nearby. After a few seconds, The Cheat's head explodes}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Dang, The Cheat. That computer's got something against you. Did you ever, like, pour Mountain Dew all over it?

Fun Facts

Inside References

  • In the "make homestars head explode.exe" Easter egg, Homestar Runner asks The Cheat, "Did you ever like, pour Mountain Dew all over it?" That is a reference to the email anything, when Homestar Runner pours Mountain Dew all over Strong Bad's computer.
  • The "Stench of Biblical Proportions" makes a sound similar to Bad Graphics Ghost.
  • The knife Strong Bad uses to cut open the couch is similar to the Big Knife of other Strong Bad Emails.
  • This is the first time The Cheat's head exploded without showing his eyes after his head exploded (the next time was pizzaz).


  • During Homestar's flashback, one of the spots of ceiling texture twitches and moves.

Real-World References

  • Glade Plugins are air fresheners that plug into wall sockets.
  • Little Strong Bad is wearing a shirt featuring a rather well known advertisement for "Rock City", a tourist trap in the south.
  • Carl Lewis was an Olympic sprinter active during the 1980's and early 1990's. His sister Carol was an Olympic long jumper.
  • When Coach Z is silhouetted and his voice is altered, it is a reference to shows like America's Most Wanted, where a witness wants to keep his/her identity safe. (i.e. Witness X)

External Links

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