Teen Girl Squad Issue 14

From Homestar Runner Wiki

Revision as of 18:39, 12 May 2008 by PolarBoy (Talk | contribs)
Jump to: navigation, search
Teen Girl Squad Issue #14
watch Issue 13 Issue 1

The girls prepare for the end of the school year.

"That design looks nothing like the comic books. Doesn't canon mean anything to these people?"

Cast (in order of appearance): Cheerleader, So and So, What's Her Face, The Ugly One, Cheerladder, Cheerlubber, Scantron, Science Fiction Greg, Mrs. Frillsneck, MimeogWrath, Coach, Team Manager, Mr. Pitters, Evil Cake, The Seniors, Quarterback, Strong Badman (Easter egg)

Places: The School

Date: Monday, May 12th, 2008

Running Time: 3:40

Page Title: Exempt Those Exams!



NARRATOR STRONG BAD: Teen Girl Squad! Cheerleader! {most likely to!} So and So! {more than likely to succeed!} What's Her Face! {least likely to care} The Ugly One! {like, mostly to secede?}

{Open to Cheerleader standing with What's Her Face and So and So.}

CHEERLEADER: Oh boy, girls... Boys!

SO AND SO: Uh, what about them?

CHEERLEADER: Nothing really. I just like to say the word.

{Cut to close up of Cheerleader.}

CHEERLEADER: {makes a weird face} Boys.

{Cut back to everyone. The Ugly One walks in with a "YEAR BOOK".}

THE UGLY ONE: Last day of school, my better looking sistas! And that means it's YEARBOOK DAY!!

{Quick cut to the girls fighting inside a cloud of dust.}


{Cut to Cheerleader with a frown pulling the book out of the pile. The cover of the book now reads, "The AWKWARDIAN '08".}

CHEERLEADER: Gimme that jank. {pile disappears} Here I am, right between Cheerladder and Cheerlubber. Ugh. I look terrible.

{Close-up of the yearbook, showing Cheerladder (a ladder with a face, holding a "G'backs" megaphone), Cheerleader with a fangs and a dead bird stuck to her face, and Cheerlubber, a whale with pom-poms, a pirate hat and an eye-patch}

CHEERLEADER: {off screen} I can't believe they scheduled school pictures for the same day as tape-a-dead-thing-to-your-face day. That finch was hard to kill.

{Cut to So-and-so, holding up her hand.}

SO AND SO: Before I can dabble in any yearbookery... {moves her hand to her chest} I have some final exams to ACE!! {raises her hand again, looking determined} Scantron armor... {flies into the air} ASSEMBLE!!

{Robotic body armor attaches to So-and-so's body as she calls out.}

SO AND SO: NUMBER 2 PENCIL! {left arm appears} SCRATCH PAPER! {right arm appears} HEALTHY BREAKFAST! {hips and legs appear} COMFORTABLE CLOTHES! {torso appears} And I'll form... the HEAD! {head appears}

{So-and-so stands in her Scantron armor. Science Fiction Greg looks on, reading a comic.}

SCIENCE FICTION GREG: Ugh. {cut to close-up, showing he is holding a Scantron comic} That design looks nothing like the comic books. Doesn't canon mean anything to these people?

{Cut to So-and-so in her Scantron armor, sitting at a desk next to a teacher holding a test.}

MRS. FRILLSNECK: Here's your final exam class... it's a ditto.

SO-AND-SO: {looking distraught} A DITTO?! But Mrs. Frillsneck, I studied for a standardized test!

{Cut to Scantron against a background of lines.}

NARRATOR STRONG BAD: Scantron vs MimeogWrath!

{"vs" and the "mimeogWrath" appear; it is a six-eyed monstrous piece of paper with tentacles, horns and legs. Its eyes, mouth and "Final Exam Ditto" are drawn in purple.}

SO-AND-SO: {as Scantron, running with a pencil} DIXON TICONDEROGA LAZER BLADE ATTACK!

{The pencil hits the MimeogWrath, which closes its eyes, then starts "waving" one of its tentacles.}


{Scantron is blown apart, the head and limbs coming apart in the explosion.}

SO-AND-SO: {as Scantron} AHH! My secret weakness!!

{Cut to Cheerleader, The Ugly One and What's Her Face in the gym. All three wear singlets and shorts; both The Ugly One's and What's Her Face's are clearly dirty.}

CHEERLEADER: I can't believe we have to dress out for our P.E. exam. I'm so tired of washing this uniform every day. {crosses her hands}

THE UGLY ONE: {evasively, making a face} Yes... washing... them... ever

WHAT'S HER FACE: {pointing as she completes the sentence} —ryday!

{Coach appears to the left, holding a stopwatch.}

COACH: Okie dokie ladygals. Your physical education final exam consists of me not making any misinterpreted remarks about the length of your shorts {holds out the stopwatch} and you doing a single push-up.


COACH: {shaken, holding up his hands} Hey great work! You all get A's!!

{Close up of Cheerleader, looking annoyed. Her singlet reads "Growlback's Phys. Ed."}

CHEERLEADER: Thank groodness. {smiles, pointing up} Sweating is against several of my religions!

{A boy crashes a cart into Cheerleader, apparently killing her; towels and gym kit fall from the cart.}


TEAM MANAGER: {looking annoyed} Hey!

NARRATOR STRONG BAD: {sarcastically; his words do not appear} Oh, excuse me. {the previous words are replaced} TEAM MANAGER'D!!

TEAM MANAGER: {smiles, and holds up a card as he speaks} Stats!

{Cut to What's Her Face facing several lockers.}

WHAT'S HER FACE: I'll go ahead and clean out my locker I 'spooooooooose. {the o's move up, then down as she speaks}

{What's Her Face throws objects out from her locker as she speaks.}

WHAT'S HER FACE: Old papers... {throws papers} old pencils... {throws pencils} old person... {throws Mr. Pitters}

MR. PITTERS: {hurriedly} I left a check for last month's rent on the table!

WHAT'S HER FACE: {waving} See you in September! {puts her hand back in her locker} Ooh. Whats this?

{What's Her Face is eaten by a giant cake with fangs and limbs.}


EVIL CAKE: {holding up one of its hands} Tastes like 9 minute miles!

{Cut to The Ugly One reading the yearbook.}

THE UGLY ONE: I can't believe I was voted most prettiest.

{Cut to a wider shot, showing three seniors laughing and pointing. One wears a baseball cap with a "G". The Ugly One looks upset.}

SENIORS: Heh heh heh senior prank, senior prank. Heh heh senior prank.

THE UGLY ONE: {upset} Oooooh.

SECOND SENIOR: Naw really. You wanna be my girlfriend?

THE UGLY ONE: {happily, raising her arm} I'd love to!

SENIORS: Heh heh heh senior prank, senior prank. Senior prank, heh.

THE UGLY ONE: {upset again} Oooooh.

THIRD SENIOR: {holding up a ring} Want this diamond ring?

THE UGLY ONE: {reaching for it} Of course!

SENIORS: Senior prank heh heh heh.

{The Ugly One is upset again, but then three trash cans are thrown over the seniors, and she smiles.}


SENIORS: Something got dumped on us! We'll never live it down! Our reputations are ruined!

{Music starts, and Quarterback walks in.}

THE UGLY ONE: {happily, throwing the yearbook away} Quarterman!

QUARTERBACK: Ugly one, all this time I was looking around, and you weren't right there in front of me. {close up} But I realized when I was looking around that you were right there in front of me all this time Ugly One.

{Cut back to both of them.}

THE UGLY ONE: That makes so much sense!!

QUARTERBACK: {offering his arm} Will you accompany me to the end credits?

THE UGLY ONE: {putting her arm in his} I'd love to!!

{The end credits roll, first showing "It's over!", then The Ugly One and Quarterback in a parking lot, then the seniors with trash cans on their heads, and "It's over" again.}

Directed by Strong Bad
Special Scantron FX oversawed by Bubs
"It's over" performed by Tite Rolled

NARRATOR STRONG BAD: {singing over the end credits} It's over! And you're walking into a parking lot with a hot guy. It's over! And they all make fun of you, but they got stuff dumped on top of them. {music stops} It's over!

Easter Eggs

  • At the end, click on the "o" to see issue 87 of "The Total Adventures of Strong Badman." It features Scantron with a word bubble reading "I need your help. Strong Badman! My comic book's not selling well!" Text at the bottom of the cover reads "The CROSSOVER no one was asking for!"

Fun Facts


  • Cheerleader remarks that she had to "tape a dead thing to her face" on Picture Day, but Cheerladder and Cheerlubber didn't, for some reason.


  • The Strong Badman comic is labeled as the 87th issue, even though there already was an issue 87 featuring "Hit-Enter-Too-Soon Man".
  • At the end, if you click on "again" it simply repeats the final credits rather than the entire cartoon.

Inside References

  • Cheerleader is wearing a "Fighting Growlbacks" T-shirt during her gym final. The Growlbacks were first mentioned as the school's mascot in Teen Girl Squad Issue 4.
  • "Thank groodness" is the reappearance of an older portmanteau of "great" and "good", also from Issue 4.
  • The third Senior has a "G" on his cap.

Real-World References

  • So-and-So's transformation into "Scantron" (as well as her saying "And I'll form the head!") is reminiscent of the TV series Voltron.
  • Science Fiction Greg's remarks that So-and-So's Scantron armor "looks nothing like the comic books" parodies fan complaints of movie super heroes that differ in appearance from their comic book counterparts (for example, the X-Men films).

External Links

Personal tools