Crime and Punishment
From Homestar Runner Wiki
Despite its very low population, Free Country, USA has a high rate of petty crime.
Contents |
Crime
Strong Bad
While not a proper villain anymore, Strong Bad has committed more crimes than the rest of the characters put together.
- See main article: Crimes committed by Strong Bad
Homestar Runner
Whether due to Strong Bad's influence or his own stupidity, Homestar has had a few brushes with the law.
- Homestar has been naked in public at random times but only got a criminal record in Homestar Ruiner after Strong Bad stole his clothes and was he forced to run past the King of Town naked.
- Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 10.2 — Homestar steals Marzipan's credit card to buy a racecar bed and tries to take prank calling lessons from Strong Bad.
- Email bike thief — Homestar attempts to steal Strong Bad's Lappy 486.
The Cheat
- See main article: Cheating
True to his name, The Cheat has helped Strong Bad and several other characters to cheat at various sports and activities. He has also assisted with various, more heinous crimes.
Assisting Strong Bad
- Email caper — The Cheat breaks into Homestar's house alongside Strong Bad.
- The Strong Bad is in Jail Cartoon — The Cheat assists Strong Bad in his various crimes througout the toon.
- Email garage sale — The Cheat robs houses (and inadvertantly kidnaps Homestar) so Strong Bad can sell the spoils at his garage sale.
Other
- Homestar Ruiner — The Cheat puts a bomb in a paper bag marked "Coach Z" after the coach comments on him being unsportsmanlike.
- A Death-Defying Decemberween — The Cheat helps Homestar's attempt to kill himself sledging down the Steep Deep.
Strong Sad
Usually very passive and accepting of his life; Strong Sad has lashed out on ocassion.
- Email caffine — While high on caffine Strong Sad repeatedly slaps Coach Z.
- Email rough copy — Strong Sad "sues" Strong Bad and The Cheat with snowballs he saved in the freezer since he was eight.
- Baddest of the Bands — Strong Sad tazers Strong Bad when he tries to get backstage.
Strong Mad
- A Jumping Jack Contest — Strong Mad helps Strong Bad to cheat at the Jumping Jack contest.
- The Strong Bad is in Jail Cartoon — Strong Mad "breaks" Strong Bad and The Cheat out of jail.
- 3 Times Halloween Funjob — Strong Mad toilet papers The Stick and later attemps to paper Marzipan's house by punching a hole in her wall with a roll of toilet paper.
- Fall Float Parade — Strong Mad uproots and steals Bubs' Concession Stand.
Marzipan
Despite being, as Strong Bad puts it, "a dirty hippy, without the dirt", Marzipan has resorted to less-than-peaceful ways of making her opinion heard.
- Quality Time — Marzipan locks Homestar in her cupboard for 3 weeks after she told him there was a cake in there.
- Email bike thief — Marzipan steals Homestar's bike from Strong Bad using the same clipboard method he did.
- Baddest of the Bands — Marzipan hits Strong Bad with her guitar when he says he doesn't think she's hot.
- hremail 3184 — Marzipan steals Gardenboy's garden tools to help Strong Bad assault Homestar.
Bubs
- See main article: Bubs's Shady Business Practices
Non-business crimes
- A Folky Tale — Bubs helps Coach Z hide when he thinks he killed Strong Sad. Bubs also tells Homestar to get outta town and lay low for a while.
- Email original — Bubs punches Strong Bad for claiming that he wasn't the original Bubs.
- Most in the Graveyard — Bubs punches Coach Z to the ground after Coach Z implies that he fancies Bub's sister.
Coach Z
- Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 9.2 — Coach Z lets it slip that he has broken into Marzipan's house before.
- Baddest of the Bands — Coach Z breaks Marzipan's window and her restraining order on her house.
The King of Town
- Email suntan — The King of Town steals Strong Bad's cocoa butter and animal phat.
- 3 Times Halloween Funjob — The King of Town eats Marzipan's candy corn lights and then denies having done anything wrong when Marzipan tells him to stop doing it.
- Email original — The King of Town (somehow) eats all the mayonnaise off of Original Bubs's egg salad.
- Homestar Ruiner — The King of Town continually devours the Choc-Opps Strong Bad tries to leave Marzipan.
- Most in the Graveyard — The King of Town is implied to have stolen Strong Bad's pickled monkey fingers.
Teen Girl Squad
- Teen Girl Squad Issue 8 — Tompkins is sent to the principals office for stealing a sega tape.
- Teen Girl Squad Issue 11 — So and So shoplifts from the shirt folding store she's working in.
- 4 Gregs — Open Source Greg launches a denial of service attack against Tompkin's website thinking it was the Concession Stand.
Punishment
Due to the lack of authority and law enforcement, most crimes are unprosecuted. There have been a few cases of characters receiving some form of formal punishment.
Occurrences
- The Strong Bad is in Jail Cartoon — Strong Bad and The Cheat get sent to "jail" (a cardboard box with a window cut out of it to resemble bars) twice for trying to break into Bubs' Concession Stand and kidnapping The Poopsmith.
- Teen Girl Squad Issue 11 — So and So is sent to prison for "life plus whenever [her] step-mom picks [her] up", presumably for shoplifting from the shirt-folding store where she has a summer job.
- Teen Girl Squad Issue 13 — So and So reacts to the arrival of the police by saying "I can't do another nickel!"
- Play Date — Bubs and Coach Z get sent to federal and juvenile prison respectively for unspecified reasons.
- Strong Badia the Free — The King of Town places Strong Bad under house arrest for not paying the new email tax. Coach Z also mentions that "[he] can't go back to the joint."
- Baddest of the Bands — Biscuitdoughhandsman is on the FBI most wanted list.
- Email other days and A Death-Defying Decemberween — Strong Bad mentions that he is on parole.
See Also
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