long pants
From Homestar Runner Wiki
Strong Bad Email #127
Strong Bad shortens a long email, which causes Homestar to get some creepy pants. arrrrrrrrrrrrrhghghghghghghghghghghghghghghghg Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad, Homestar Runner, The Cheat, Marzipan (easter egg)
Places: Computer Room, Homestar's House (easter egg)
Computer: Lappy 486
Date: March 28, 2005
Running Time: 3:04
Contents |
Transcript
STRONG BAD: And if I email you, girl! Woman! {He holds up pieces of paper that say "Girl." and "Woman." as he says those words} Oh, would you email me, girl? Woman? {He holds up the papers again. Then he brings up the email:}
subject: Homestar's pantsDear Strongbad,
Clancy
Why doesn't homestar ever wear pants? It's kind of
creepy how he walks around with no pants on all the time.
Anyway, I think you should get him some pants, maybe some
parachute pants would work...yeah, that would work. Or maybe
some clown pants, I don't care, just get him some pants!
Tootles!
{Strong Bad skips everything after "Anyway" and before "I don't care" and, instead, says "Blabbity blah, blah blebbity bloo". He also pronounces "Tootles" as "Toot-less" and "Clancy" as "Clanky".}
STRONG BAD: Aw, {begins typing} Too long, Clanky, too looong! Good thing you didn't indent, man, or this never woulda made it past my 2nd paragraph filter: {types 'run "Edga Jr."'} Edga Jr.
{The splash screen for "Edga Jr. The Long Email Killa Filta" comes up}
STRONG BAD: Aw, look at him. He's one o' dem red-haireded rapscalli... wags. {returns to the email} Well, I think we can salvage this one with a little editing. Let me once again call upon the services of my trusty, somewhat dusty, electronic light-pen input high-tech expensive device! Now in HD! {he pulls out a correction pen bearing the words "X-PENSIVE WHITE" and shakes it} Just have to shake up the... expensive electrons here. All set! So, let's see! {he mumbles and says} Expensive high-tech device... {as he whites out the words, producing:}
subject: Homestar's pantsDear Strongbad,
Clancy
Whydoesn't homestar everwear pants?It's kind of
creepyhow he walks around with nopantsonall the time.
Anyway, I think you shouldgethimsomepants,maybesome
parachutepants would work...yeah, that would work. Ormaybe
someclownpants, I don'tcare,just get himsomepants!
Tootles!
STRONG BAD: There! Now let's see what we got! {re-reads the altered email} Dear Strongbad, Why wear pants? Creepy pants all the time get some. Maybe parachute, maybe clown care. Some ants toot! Clanky. {begins typing} Now there's an email worth answering! Some ants toot. Tee-hee! {clears screen, but the correction fluid remains} So, why wear pants? An age old question. Was it not Adam West who once said, "E–
HOMESTAR RUNNER: {from offscreen} Hey, Strong Bad! {camera pans back to show Homestar wearing very short purple pants} Check out my creepy pants!
STRONG BAD: {looking away} Ew, Homestar! What're you wearing them Daisy Dukes for?!
{Homestar's pants shine.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: 'Cuz you said, "creepy pants all the time get some."
STRONG BAD: Get some what?
HOMESTAR RUNNER: I dunno. Light globes?
STRONG BAD: {stares flatly} ...Light globes.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: You know, like in a lamp! Light globes! {his pants shine again}
STRONG BAD: So... you put on hot pants in the hopes of getting some lightbulbs.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: {correctively} Globes. {his pants shine again briefly as he says it}
STRONG BAD: Well, since you're here, let's talk about your pants. Or your lack thereof... ...Daisy Dukes aside.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: What are you talking about, Strong Bad? {shakes leg} I wear long pants.
STRONG BAD: Um... no, from what I can tell, you wear no pants and have blue soles glued to the bottoms of your feet. {indicates Homestar's feet}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Well, that's simply not true. I have long pants, I wear long pants. I'm a long pants man, long pants, long pants! {starts getting upset and dances around}
STRONG BAD: Okay, calm down... I didn't mean to-
HOMESTAR RUNNER: {jumps high into the air, and convulses on Strong Bad's desk} Long pants, Strong Bad! The longest pants! Everybody everybody! Longest pants! {starts teleporting around the room, first appearing in front of Strong Bad, then leaning in behind him, then hanging upside down from the ceiling, then pixellated on the Lappy's screen as Atari Homestar, then blurred in the very foreground, then upside down under the desk, then in his original position, all while chanting the following} Long long long long long long pants!
STRONG BAD: All right, that's it! We need to get you some serious clown care, man!
HOMESTAR RUNNER: But I was told long pants! Long pants! They said long pants! Always long pants! {leans toward Strong Bad} Long, my pants! Gleaming pants! Glorious pants! {runs away, leaving the Daisy Dukes behind. They fall and hook around Strong Bad's foot.}
STRONG BAD: Bleh! Egh! BLEEEGGEHHEGH!
{He shakes his foot in a panic until the Daisy Dukes fly off and land on the floor some distance away, while The Cheat appears stage left to burn them with the BMW Lighter. They almost instantly combust with a noxious, neon green flame.}
THE CHEAT: {says something}
{The Cheat leaves, and Strong Bad turns back to the computer.}
STRONG BAD: {typing} Noice work, Clanky. You made Homestar go nuts and you've seriously creeped me out. And how am I supposed to get this crap offa here? {Everything starting with the "t" in "get" is obscured by the correction fluid. Strong Bad grabs a cloth and attempts to wipe it off the screen, to no avail. He mutters:} Stupid... made-up technology... that I made up... light pen... {mumbles a bit before yelling:} The Cheat! Call tech support and tell 'em you broke the Lappy again!
{The Paper comes down.}
Easter Eggs
- Selecting "wear pants" will bring up some fortune cookies, similar to those in the old Fortune Cookies game. As you hover the cursor over each one, it brings up a sentence of Strong Bad's "improved" email.
- Clicking on the socket under the table after Strong Bad says "Clown Care" brings up a business card for the service, Kertified Klown Kare. It reads:
Kertified Klown Kare -Pie Injuries -Giant Foot Problems -Wacky Malaria -Grease Paint Poisoning "Rodeo and Tragic Clown Hot Dogs NOT ACCEPTED"
- Selecting "creeped" at the end of the email reveals a touching moment between Homestar and Marzipan.
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: {Lying in bed with light globes beside and on the floor beneath him, crying} Loooonnng paaaannnts!
- MARZIPAN: Awww, there there, Homestar. It's not so bad. Everybody thinks I'm a broom.
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: {Sits up suddenly, surprised and upset} You're not a broom?
Fun Facts
Explanations
- Daisy Dukes are extremely short cut-offs, so named for the character from The Dukes of Hazzard television show that wore them.
- Strong Bad using the "light pen" to remove portions of the email draws from the joke about a fool who, being unexperienced with technology, used a correction fluid pen on his monitor in an attempt to remove misspelled words in a wordprocessing program.
- Parachute Pants are large billowy pants which come in at the waist and ankles with snug elastic bands.
- Homestar insists that he has "lightglobes", not lightbulbs. In Australia, it is common for lightbulbs to be called lightglobes.
Trivia
- This is the first time Strong Bad has lowered his upper eyelids.
- In the easter egg, the messages in the fortune cookies read "You are not as good as most people" before they are completely unraveled, probably because TBC only changed the writing on the cookie. The cookies also said "You are not as good as most people" in Fortune Cookies.
Remarks
- When Strong Bad returns to the email after having opened up Edga Jr., all the text he had typed as a reply is gone, and only the email remains.
- Perhaps Strong Bad doesn't answer the original question because it is already shown why Homestar doesn't wear pants in an Easter Egg to monument. When Homestar was about to put some pants on, he was distracted by the Thnikkaman and wound up never wearing any. However, it is also possible that Homestar is actually wearing skin-tight, white pants at all times which may be why Coach Z "point[s] the blame squarely at tight pants[...] the tightest of pants." in super powers.
- Homestar Runner's judo outfit in montage includes white pants.
- Strong Bad and Homestar note his lack of pants in Not the 100th Email!!!.
- Although Strong Bad has ruined the Lappy's screen in the email, it is still pristine in the current SB Email main menu.
- It is interesting that Strong Bad would be disgusted by the sight of Homestar in Daisy Dukes when one considers that Homestar supposedly wears no pants at all!
Goofs
- Although Strong Bad puts pressure onto the Lappy's screen when trying to rub off the marker and when applying the white out, no ripples pop up on the screen.
- After he clears the screen and starts writing about the age old question, Homestar comes in. You can clearly see the text the whole time Homestar is there, but when Homestar leaves and Strong Bad turns back to the Lappy, it's gone.
- The Klown Kare easter egg (by clicking on the socket) can still be clicked in the same location on the screen when the scene moves around.
- When Homestar appears close-up to the computer, if you zoom in, you can see that the disk label is slightly garbled, like it would be in a JPEG file. This is because it actually IS a JPEG being used to show both Homestar and the part of the background placed behind him, as the JPEG format does not allow for transparency.
- Additionally, the image appears to be displayed slightly above its proper location.
- When Strong Bad is writing with his pen, the reflection doesn't show up.
- His reflection also doesn't show up when he's trying to get it off.
- There is a separate shadow on the white line in the Lappy's email client.
- When Homestar appears on the Lappy's screen, he isn't covered by the correction fluid, but rather, he shows up on top of it.
Inside References
- Edga Jr. is a reference to the e-mail virus, in which his ambiguous relation, Edgar, created Strong Bad's virus protection program. Also, Edgarware was made in "mom's basement", whereas Edga Jr. was made seven years later in "mom's sewing room".
- Homestar says "Everybody everybody" in his tirade, a reference to the Intro.
- Atari Homestar is from Main Page 13 and In Search of the Yello Dello.
- The business card easter egg makes reference to the Tragic Clown Dog from part-time job.
- Marzipan's line about people thinking she's a broom (along with Homestar's response) may be a reference to Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 11.2 where Homestar leaves a message calling Marzipan an "old broomstick".
- The noise made by Homestar's glowing pants is used often in Stinkoman cartoons.
- Strong Bad's "light pen" is based on his "light pen" from haircut—there, it was a black marker.
- The green smoke created when the pants are incinerated is similar to the odor given off by the rotten Chinese food in ghosts.
- Strong Bad's opening song is suspiciously similar to the one in the show.
Real-World References
- Strong Bad throwing cue cards away during the intro song is a reference to the music video for Subterranean Homesick Blues by Bob Dylan.
- It could also be a reference to the video "Need You Tonight/Mediate" by INXS.
- The light pen was an input device that would make an EGA or CGA monitor into a touch screen of sorts. You touched a light sensor to the screen, and it would calculate a position by sensing the 'flicker' of the monitor's cathode ray. A real light pen could never work with the Lappy 486, since LCD displays do not flicker.
- The fact that Strong Bad used a sharpie as a light pen could be a reference to a Vextrex fan website that has instructions on how to build a light pen out of a sharpie.
- Adam West is an actor best known for his role as Batman on the campy '60s TV show. The Batman costume has tights with briefs over them, so Batman does not wear pants, either.
