lady...ing
From Homestar Runner Wiki
Strong Bad Email #135
Strong Bad goes back 6 years ago to the first email he ever answered to show how he gave advice on lady...ing.
Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad, The Cheat, The Announcer, Homestar Runner, Marzipan, Strong Sad, Mustachioed Homestar Runner (Easter egg)
Places: Computer Room, Arena, The Field (Easter egg)
Computer: Lappy 486
Date: August 8, 2005
Running Time: 4:25
Contents |
Transcript
STRONG BAD: {singing in falsetto} Why do I check emails the way I do? I don't know. {begins reading}
subject: Ladies...Dear Strongest of the Bads,
Lorenzo and Fillbert
We are two desperate losers who could never get any
ladies. Since you're such a lady expert, could you give us
any tips on lady...ing.
Your 2nd and 3rd best Friends Ever,
{After reading "could never get any ladies", Strong Bad says "Oooh, something I would not openly admit." He inserts a long pause between "lady" and "ing."}
STRONG BAD: 2nd and 3rd best friends?? What about Fabrosi? What'd you two do to Fabrosi? Eh, whatever. That guy's probably out lady-ing with that fake mustache he always wears. It's only gonna attract gold-diggers. {hits return} Desperate losers or not, you guys should remember that I addressed this issue, like, 5 or 6 years ago. In fact, I think it mighta been the first email I ever checked. The Cheat, roll that beautiful email footage!
{Cut to the computer desk. The Cheat walks in holding a laserdisc.}
STRONG BAD: Ooh, a laserdisc. {music starts and The Cheat spins the disc as Strong Bad sings} The Cheat's playin' something on a laserdisc. Everything is better on a laserdisc. Whatever happened to the laserdisc? Laserdisc! {The Cheat and Strong Bad touch hands as the music stops.}
{The Cheat walks to the left. Cut to the old loading screen from Marshmallow's Last Stand, then to the Arena from the same toon. Closeup on the Announcer.}
ANNOUNCER: And in the red corner, hailing from Parts Unknown, {holds microphone closer} the Ramblin' Wreck of Email Check, Strong Bad!
{Cut to the corner of the wrestling ring, which contains a table with the Tandy on it. Strong Bad pops out from a trapdoor.}
Dear Strong Bad,
I am a desperate loser. Can you
give me any tips on lady-ing?
Your 1st best Friend ever,
Fabrosi
STRONG BAD: But of course. When it comes to the ladies, I've got no... competition! {He pronounces the last word like on the Strong Bad talker. He jumps up and shakes as he says it.} Holy crap.
{Cut to a close-up}
STRONG BAD: First, Fabrosi, you've got to look as much as possible like the Strong Bad. {He points to himself with both hands.} Take off your shirt, {produces some sandpaper} sand off your nipples, {rubs it on his chest; the camera pans down to his feet} and wear tight pants that accentuate all your sublteties {pronounced "subbleties"}. {He shakes his body around once.} But sometimes {shakes it again} that's not enough, and you have to douse yourself in the finest {produces a can of gasoline} Mongolian aftershave lotion.
{He douses himself as the crowd cheers "Yay!" Strong Bad walks off and over to Homestar Runner (sans cap) and Marzipan. Gasoline fumes eminate above Strong Bad's head.}
STRONG BAD: Oh, Marzipan. Do you want a-my bod!
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Uh, Strong Bad, why do you smell like a garage?
MARZIPAN: Me too!
STRONG BAD: Why, you... Take a-this!
{He leaps at Homestar, somersaulting over and over with a helicopter-like noise. He lands right on Homestar's head. There is a huge explosion of stars as Homestar is knocked to the mat, stars spinning above his eyes.}
HOMESTAR: Oh!
{Cut to a close-up of Strong Bad.}
STRONG BAD: The ladies also can't resist... {All of the sudden his chest is very defined; his biceps bulge up.} ...muscular wrestling moves... {The camera pulls back.} ...off the top rope!
{Strong Bad leaps from the top rope and crashes right on Homestar, who is still down. There is another starry explosion.}
HOMESTAR: Ow!
{Cut to Marzipan.}
MARZIPAN: Ooh, that's resistable.
Easter Eggs
- At the end, click on the word "And" to see Homestar following Strong Bad's advice... sort of.
- {Homestar and Marzipan are standing in The Field. Homestar appears to be wearing a very wide fake mustache}
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: So, ladytype, I'm wearin' tight pants {shakes a pantless leg} so as to accentuate all my bubbleties!
- MARZIPAN: Have I broken up with you yet?
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: Yeah, a couple times.
- Click on the Floppy Disk Container to see a bottle of "Genghis Khan" lotion for women ("Smell like a Warlord!").
- Click on Strong Bad's head to see a brief dream of him somersaulting over a canyon.
Fun Facts
Trivia
- We see the very first email in this email, even before some kinda robot.
Inside references
- The entire email is based on the lost toon Marshmallow's Last Stand.
- The moustache Homestar has in the easter egg is from Senorial Day.
Real-World References
- "Roll that beautiful email footage" is a reference to the Bush's Baked Beans Commercials "Roll that beautiful bean footage."
- "Ramblin' Wreck of Email Check" is a reference to the Georgia Institute of Technology, whose athletic teams are known as "Yellowjackets" or "Ramblin' Wreck". In fact, the first line of the Georgia Tech fight song declares, "I'm a Ramblin' Wreck from Georgia Tech".
- Strong Bad does a flip jump like Samus in Metroid games.
- Stinkoman also jumps this way in Stinkoman 20X6.
