Decemberweenvent Calendar (2022 Revisited)

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Revision as of 01:08, 17 December 2024

The Decemberweenvent Calendar from 2022 is revisited two years later, with additional animation and new gags and asides.

Date: Monday, December 16, 2024

Page Title: Remastered and Replastered!

Running Time: 20:35

Transcript

{Open to Strong Sad's darkened room, with a present sitting on the table. Piano music plays as the words "Decemberweenvent Calendar {2022 revisited}" appear briefly on the screen. A digital clock alarm sounds.}

STRONG BAD: {offscreen} Oh! {The clock is thrown into the room.} It's December first! It's December fiiiiirst!

{The light is switched on. Strong Mad and Strong Sad try to enter the room at the same time, and are wedged into the door frame. Strong Bad squeezes between them and pops into the room. Cut to the table, where Strong Bad appears from beneath.}

STRONG BAD: Yes! Once again, the first one to the Decemberweenvent calendar! Ooh, I can almost taste the mostly vegetable oil of those cheap, cheap chocolates inside!

{He flicks off the top of the present to reveal the book inside.}

STRONG BAD: What the crap?! A non-chocolate and/or Lego Decemberweenvent calendar? I used to could eat both of thems.

Day 1 - Everybody, Everybody

STRONG BAD: {offscreen} Everybody... Has fingers and noses

{As the calendar Coach Z speaks, the mnemonic is underlined in red.}

COACH Z: Crorspy dork eggs for gordness and bordness, chorpness!

BUBS: {whispering} I'ma pretend I don't know you!

Day 2 - Stave It Off

{Strong Bad is standing in front of the piano.}

STRONG BAD: Maybe if I play the song correctly, then chocolates will, like, come out of the piano.

STRONG SAD: {appearing from the right side} Or maybe just holiday cheer will come out of the piano.

STRONG BAD: That's useless! You can't suck on that and swish it around in your mouth until it turns into, like, a pudding goo and then spit it onto marshmallows!

KING OF TOWN: {appearing from behind the piano} That doesn't mean I can't try! {holds up a bag of Fluffy Puff Marshmallows}

Day 3 - Skills of an Artist

STRONG BAD: Uh, you can check today's, Strong Mad. Imma go see if we have any baking chocolate or... somethin'.

STRONG MAD: I HOPE IT'S THE THEME FROM DOUG THE DINO!

STRONG BAD: Isn't the theme from Doug the Dino just you yelling...

"DINOSAUR"

STRONG MAD: IT'S MY GREATEST COMPOSITION!

Day 4 - Caleb Rentpayer

STRONG SAD: {offscreen} Isn't anything in this calendar in a minor key? I need some of that Dickensian holiday doom and gloom.

{The page flips and the love theme plays; afterward, the page changes to the funeral dirge, which plays.}

STRONG SAD: Ah, that's the stuff. It's like a stovepipe hat full of gruel, poor air quality, and inhumane working conditions. Now that's the holiday spirit!

Day 5 - Now I'll Do A Dance

STRONG BAD: {singing to the tune of "The Twelve Days of Christmas"} On the fifth day of Decemberweenvent, this stupid calendar gave to me... more useless sheet music!

STRONG BAD: {offscreen} Uh-oh, this one. Instant migraine, instant migraine, instant migraine, instant migraine... Shuttin' it down! A dancing chart is featured with numbered outlines of feet and a hand connected by a jumbled mess of dotted arrows. Above it is the caption "The Well-Folks-You-Know-What-That-Means Shuffle".

Day 6 - CGNU Fight Song

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {offscreen} Oh, man. I get to check today's Far Side daily calendar. {onscreen} I hope this one has an amoeba shaped like a cow talking to a caveman saying some real smart science words I'll have to look up later.

Day 7 - Videlectrix/StrongBadZone

STRONG BAD: Just so you know, I'm not gonna, like, say something different every day.

Woah, check it out, I'm in a virtual StrongBadZone! I've even got floaty gloves!

Doink.

Day 8 - Smells Like Peanut Action

STRONG BAD: Just so you know, I'm not gonna, like, say something different every day.

Day 9 - Meet Marshie

STRONG BAD: Just so you know, I'm not gonna, like, say something different every day.

Scales of an Artist: Beginner Piano Series Lesson 9: The Puffety Technique

PUPPET MARSHIE: That was great!

Day 10 - No Probalo

STRONG BAD: Just so you know, I'm not gonna, like, say something different {haltingly} ev-e-ry day.

Cardgage Drips Every Foosball Game Against Bedelma's Corporanchin'

No Probalo credit sequence (@StrongBadActual_Tweets_2022#1601634632545447937)

Day 11 - 3 Times Halloween Funjob

STRONG BAD: All right, this time there's gonna be chocolate! There's gonna be chocolate! There's gonna be chocolate!

{The book flips opens to reveal melted chocolate smudged over a spot on the page.}

STRONG BAD: {offscreen} Aw, man!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {offscreen} Oh, that's mine. It's a bookmark.

STRONG SAD: {offscreen} Ooh, let's add the sloshy lyrics! "The second Halloween was atrocious... but the third Halloween was a very funjob!"

STRONG BAD: {offscreen} "Very very funjob, very very fun..." Aw man! Quit making me joyously sing along to sloshy songs!

Day 12 - Cheat Commandos

STRONG BAD: {offscreen} So, should we discuss the creepy illustration styles in this calendar?

{The book flips open.}

STRONG BAD: {offscreen} Aaah! No, we should not!

{The song plays; afterward, a scene from Cheat Commandos flies in from the right: Blue Laser Commander stands in an underground cavern, still drawn in the character style of the calendar.}

BLUE LASER COMMANDER: {in a voice similar to Snagglepuss} Ehh. We'll blow up the ocean!

{Pan right to Reynold, who now wears a white shirt.}

REYNOLD: {in a voice similar to Boo-Boo Bear} Ah gee, Blue Laser, I don't think that's such a good idea.

{Cut to the both of them.}

BLUE LASER COMMANDER: {angrily pointing at Reynold} Heavens, I just hate you so much!

Day 13 - Teen Girl Squad

STRONG BAD: {offscreen} Today, the Decemberweenvent Calendar enters its teenage phase.

{The book flips open; the Teen Girl Squad are illustrated in their usual style; crickets chirp.}

STRONG BAD: {offscreen} WHOLESOME'D!

{The Teen Girl Squad are suddenly changed into the Decemberweenvent Calendar style.}

CHEERLEADER: Ow! My saddle shoes!

WHAT'S HER FACE: Ow! My 7pm curfew!

SO AND SO: Ow! My brushing my teeth after lunch at school!

THE UGLY ONE: Ow! My pet bag of lawn trimmings!

{The Teen Girl Squad song plays, and then the page flips to the 4 Gregs song, which plays.}

OPEN SOURCE GREG: I say, my merry gentlemen, this wholesome yet inaccurately illustrated kids' book universe seems much safer than our usual murderous notebook paper one!

STRONG BAD: {offscreen} Sorry, nope!

STRONG BAD: {offscreen} No four Gregs are not on fire. Awww,

Day 14 - Strong Bad is a Bad Guy

STRONG BAD: All right, Disappointo, gimme a deep cut today!

STRONG SAD: {disappointed} I thought I was Disappointo.

STRONG BAD: Shut up.

{The book flips open.}

STRONG BAD: {offscreen} Ooh, yes! My oft-overlooked sorta theme song!

{The song plays.}

STRONG MAD: I MADE YOU A GLOWY CHOCOLATE BOX!

STRONG BAD: Aw, thanks, Giganti-Man. That's so nice—

{Strong Mad holds his hand into view of the sheet music; in his palm is a cube-shaped glob of chocolate with a strand of colored, blinking holiday tree lights mashed in; one of the bulbs is broken and the wire is frayed; the broken bulb and exposed wire spark and pop intermittently.}

STRONG BAD: {offscreen, continued} —oh. Uh, that is... great, and I will eat it later... when its voltage dies down.

{The broken bulb sparks once more before the book returns to the cover page.}

Day 15 - Strong Badia Nat'l Anthem

{A high-pitched whirring sound is heard; both The Cheat and Strong Bad sound distant.}

THE CHEAT: {offscreen} {The Cheat noises}

STRONG BAD: {offscreen} I can't look at it right now, I told you!

THE CHEAT: {offscreen} {The Cheat noises}

STRONG BAD: {offscreen} A football is wearing my pants!

THE CHEAT: {offscreen} {questioning The Cheat noises}

{The whirring sound dies down.}

STRONG BAD: {offscreen} I don't know, The Cheat!

THE CHEAT: {offscreen} {questioning The Cheat noises}

STRONG BAD: {offscreen} Yes, I am also wearing them! That's what's freakin' me out!

STRONG SAD: Just gonna... capture this here moment on filum...

Day 16 - Homestar Runner Presents: Presents

STRONG BAD: {offscreen, singing} You think they'll ever doooo... "Song About Sibbie"? {onscreen} Probably not because I don't think it has any notes.

{The page flips and the song plays; afterward, Strong Bad reaches in and covers Homestar's face with a sticker.}

STRONG BAD: I'm just gonna cover this one up. Never need to look at that again.

Day 17 - The Cheat Is Not Dead

STRONG BAD: {offscreen, rapping} The D'weenvent, the D'weenvent, what what, the D'weenvent!

{The page flips and the song plays; afterward, cut to the inside of Homestar Runner's house at night. Homestar walks into the living room in a robe, slippers, nightcap, and Homestar Running T-shirt and sporting a cinnamon beard. He yawns and smacks his lips drowsily. Suddenly the cow lamp on the table morphs into an animated version resembling the sheet music version. Homestar's nightcap stands straight up, resembling a dunce cap, as Homestar is taken aback.}

COW LAMP: {Midwestern mom voice} Homestar Runner, you march right back to bed, young man.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: I'm just gonna... pretend I didn't see that.

COW LAMP: You bet your ever lovin' twees, you will, mister!

{Homestar's nightcap deflates as he does an about face and walks out of the room.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: I knew I took too much of that cough syrup.

{Returns to the cover page.}

Day 18 - Because, It's Midnite

STRONG BAD: {offscreen, rapidly} Checkin​my​daily​musical​Decemberweenvent​calendar, checkin​my​daily​musical​Decemberweenvent​calendar, checkin​my​d— {gets tongue-tied and starts mumbling} —weenvent calrendar. {onscreen} Whew, doesn't quite roll off the tongue like "checkin' my email" does.

{The page flips and the song plays; afterward, it returns to the cover page.}

Day 19 - Peasant's Quest

STRONG BAD: All right, we're in the home stretch. Let's hope they bring out the heavy hittas!

{The page flips and the song plays.}

I always wish they sampled the film in this song!

STRONG BAD: {offscreen} Aw, somebody finally bought the Kerrek a Cold One. I thought he was a teetotaler. Oh well, holiday cheers, pig fella!

{An ad slides in from the right featuring a purple background with hollies and the Kerrek. A red, very slowly rolling bottle cap with the Kerrek on it reads "Kerrek Brau" in large letters. In small print are the phrases "Non-Cold Onesaholic" and "4.5% taste". Both Kerreks are pixelated as in the game and translucent. Music plays.}

ANNOUNCER 1: This holiday season, indulge responsibly with Non-Cold Onesaholic Kerrek Brau!

ANNOUNCER 2: {speaking rapidly} Made with 100% real sweat from the Kerrek's brow.

{A caption slides in that reads "Made with 100% Kerrek Browsweat"; the music stops and the bottle cap stops rolling.}

ANNOUNCER 2: Did that—did that ruin it for ya?

Day 20 - Santam'n Is A Blademan

HOMESTAR RUNNER: I got a good feeling about this one, Strong Bad.

STRONG BAD: Great. And now I have a bad feeling about this one.

{The book flips open and the song plays}

STINGY RELENQUE:

{cut to an infomercial on Z' ShopChan for item DLA222-Zf in the Hollendaise Gift Collection, captioned "Strong Bantaman is a Blademan Musical Nobot". Three Dancin' Strong Bad Musical Nobots with serrated knives taped to each of their gloves are in action. As Strong Bad does the voiceover, the batteries in each run out.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} So pick yourself up an army of these little guys to deter unwanted carolers {slowing down with the Dancin' Musical Nobots} or serve hors d'oeuvres.

{The Nobots grind to a halt. A shrimp pops onto each of the knives. The book returns to the cover page.}

Day 21 - Stinkoman Level 1

COACH Z: Hey there! I thought I'd show up!

{A beat.}

COACH Z: That's it! {walks off}

{The page flips and the song plays; afterward, a Stinkoman 20X6 cutscene slides in from the right. 1-Up, Stinkoman, and Pan Pan stand against a blue background. The game music plays.}

STINKOMAN: {subtitled} AND THAT, MY GOOD MAN, IS WHY I'LL NEVER BAKE AGAIN.

1-UP: {subtitled} THAT WAS A GREAT OPERA!

{Suddenly, Z Sabre in silhouette flies in from the left as a menacing laughing sound effect is heard.}

Z SABRE: {subtitled} HEY THERE. I THOUGHT I'D SHOW UP.

{A beat. The music stops.}

Z SABRE: {subtitled} THAT'S IT!

{The laughing sound effect is heard again as he flies back off to the left. The other characters watch him go.}

1-UP: {subtitled} ANOTHER GREAT OPERA!

{Returns to the cover page.}

Day 22 - Dethemberween Thnikkaman

STRONG BAD: I'munna, I'munna open up the thing, and then there'll be like, some music. I'm gettin' a little bur—I'm gettin' a little burned out, I—I'm gonna admit.

{The page flips and the song plays; as the last note is struck, the Dethemberween Thnikkaman's voice rings out:}

DETHEMBERWEEN THNIKKAMAN: {echoing in the distance} Yeah, shut up! {cuts back to the room, revealing the Thnikkaman is shouting through a megaphone right next to Strong Bad} To one and all o' dang y'all!

{Returns to the cover page.}

Day 23 - Trogdor

STRONG BAD: {offscreen} Here I go once again with a Decemberweenvent Calendar. {onscreen} Every day I hope that it's a... {pounds table with each word} better Decemberweenvent Calendar.

{The book flips open.}

STRONG BAD: {offscreen} You monsters! What have you done to my baby burninator?? There's not a consummate V in sight!

{The song plays.}

STRONG BAD: {offscreen} Trogdor had a barn. I mean, it was a burning barn. Er, maybe it was just a barning. Er, I don't know, I... I give up.

{The song ends.}

STRONG BAD: {offscreen} What is he supposed to be, like, barninating the hayloft?

{A straw hat pops onto Trogdor's head and a piece of straw pops into his mouth. Strong Bad groans.}

STRONG BAD: {offscreen} Aww, check out all his trajesty.

{Stink lines appear around Trogdor with a splat. A video game box spins in from the center. Tinny banjo music plays.}

VIDELECTRIX ONE: {voiceover} Burninate the Barnyard from Videlectrix. New for the Pantsit Portable. We really understand this IP.

Day 24 - Todayborday is Labor Day

STRONG BAD: {offscreen} All right, everyone, here we go! The big Decemberween season finale! {aside} Presented by Styles Upon Styles.

{The words "Styles Upon Styles" appear from the center. The page flips and the first song begins playing. Strong Bad talks over it as it plays.}

STRONG BAD: {offscreen} What?? They used a different holiday song on Decemberweeve? This was supposed to be, like, the big culmination!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {offscreen} I don't know, Strong Bad, I bet we could make this work for Decemberweeve.

STRONG BAD: {offscreen} Yeah you would. It's your stupid song.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {offscreen} Oh, you got that right! Here we go!

{A drum fill. Cut to Homestar Runner at the piano. He launches into a fully backed version of the song.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {singing}
Todaybor Deeve is Decemberweeve
Todaybor Deeve is Decemberweeve
Todaybor Deeve is Decemberweeve
Todaybor Deeve is Decemberweeve

Todaybor Deeve, Decemberweeve
Put on a hat that looks like Eh! Steve!
Pull your arms into your sleeves
Put a piece of pizza under grandma's tree!

Poke Coach Z until he leaves
Those medieval boots, I think they're called greaves
Ghost of Bennedetto, RIP
Come on, everybody, it's Decemberweeve!

{The song finishes with a cymbal crash.}

STRONG BAD: That wasn't a culmination.

Outro

{Cut to Strong Bad sitting at the table with the Decemberweenvent calendar open. Homestar stands next to him.}

STRONG BAD: {continued} It was just a bunch of dumb stuff you garbled that rhymes with "eve".

{Strong Sad stands in the doorway. He is wearing an Eh! Steve! hat, a sweater, and greaves. He has a slice of pizza on his shoulder, and his arms are tucked inside the sweater. Strong Bad is silhouetted.}

STRONG SAD: Oh, man, I am really liking these new Decemberween traditions!

STRONG BAD: Get back in the bathtub!

{Strong Sad hangs his head.}

STRONG SAD: Aww!

{Cut back to the table. A large red present wrapped in white ribbon now sits next to the calendar.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: So, you want a culmination? Then how about... this!

{He lifts the present with a musical flourish to reveal the frog from days 4, 6, 14, 16, 20, and 23. The frog is busy on his smartphone.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Happy Decemberween, Strong Bad!

STRONG BAD: Ert, wt, whtgda crap is that?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: It's a new character!

STRONG BAD: I don't—I don't want it.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: It's the frog!

{Closeup on the frog.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {continued} From the Decemberweenvent calendar!

THE FROG: I got a new app!

{He holds up his phone to the viewer.}

STRONG BAD: But how??

{Cut back to the three of them.}

STRONG BAD: {continued} And why?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Who are we to question Decemberween magic, Strong Bad.

THE FROG: I got a new app!

STRONG BAD: Yeah, I heard you already! Is that your freakin' name? Anew App?

{Closeup on Anew App.}

ANEW APP: Sounds good to me!

{Cut to sheet music for the second song.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: One, two, three—

{The song begins playing. Homestar sings along.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {singing}
Anew App
He's a frog and he came from a book
It was a musical book
He has a phone

STRONG BAD: An entire Decemberweenvent gone by and I never got a single ounce of freaking chocolate!

ANEW APP: I got a new app that'll send you a chocolate a day for a whole year!

STRONG BAD: Whoa, sign me up! Yes, I agree to receive marketing and promotional emails from your company and a multitude of other third-party companies that will resell all my personal informatiooooon! Phew! You're not so bad after all, Anew. Maybe we'll ever see you in a cartoon again!

ANEW APP: I got a new...

STRONG BAD: {threatening sound}

ANEW APP: ...friend?

STRONG BAD: Aww... But no. We're not friends.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Yeah, don't look at me, Frog.

{Fade to Anew App, Humidibot, and F-Sack in the snow outside Bubs' Concession Stand. A banner affixed to the wall of the stand reads "LATE ERA NEW-ish CHARACTERS UNION 208", "SHARPDENE - Chairperson". "Chair" is crossed out and "coatrack" is written above it. Anew App is using an app on his phone, as ever.}

HUMIDIBOT: Welcome to the group! I'm Humidibot.

F-SACK: And now, you gotta get jumped in.

{A shocked expression comes across Anew App's face.}

Fun Facts

See also Decemberweenvent Calendar#Fun Facts

• The YouTube description reads:

  A remastered and replastered version of the 2022 daily Decemberweenvent Calendar of Homestar Runner-themed sheet music.
  
  Additional music throughout by the incredible ‪@trott‬. For those songs and more, check out his double album of Vince Guaraldi-inspired covers of the D'weenvent Calendar sheet music here: https://palacefamilysteakhouse.bandcamp.com/
  
  Chapters (skip around! sing along! problem towne!):

The description then lists the same chapters as the above transcript, with timestamps.

External Links

• Watch "Decemberweenvent Calendar (2022 Revisited)" on YouTube
• View the announcement page