video games
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== External Links == | == External Links == | ||
*[http://www.homestarrunner.com/sbemail94.html watch "video games"] | *[http://www.homestarrunner.com/sbemail94.html watch "video games"] | ||
| - | *[http://www.homestarrunner.com/sbemail94.swf view the flash file] | + | *[http://www.homestarrunner.com/sbemail94.swf view the flash file for "video games"] |
{{Strong Bad Email}} | {{Strong Bad Email}} | ||
[[Category:Strong Bad Email]][[Category:Strong Bad Filmography]] | [[Category:Strong Bad Email]][[Category:Strong Bad Filmography]] | ||
Revision as of 03:10, 5 October 2004
Contents |
Screenshot
Summary
Strong Bad Email #94
Taylor R. wants to know what Strong Bad would be like in a video game. Strong bad explains that it would depend on what system he was on.
Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad
Transcript
STRONG BAD: Email is like a prison. A prison with no walls. And no toilet.
{reading}
Hey Strong Bad, I was just wondering what you would be like in a video game and what it would be like. From, Taylor R. Queen Creek, AZ
{Strong Bad reads "AZ" as "Alcatraz"}
STRONG BAD: Whoa... it's somebody on the inside. {shakes head} Get out soon, Taylor. {typing} What would I be like in a video game? Well, that all depends on what system we're talking about. Like, if it was on one of those really old machines, the graphics would probably only look kinda like me.
{Cut to Atari 2600-style game; a red square represents Strong Bad}
STRONG BAD: {voiceover} And I'd run all around a futuristic maze, collecting things that look nothing like me!
{"Strong Bad" collects a yellow square the exact same size as him}
STRONG BAD: {voiceover}Man, that'd be pretty awesome!
{The words "secret collect!" appear on the screen. Cut back to the Compy 386}
STRONG BAD: {typing} Ooh! Ooh! I could also be in one of those 3-D vector games
{cut to screen of said game}
STRONG BAD: {voiceover} And there'd be this awesome, huge, 3-D version of my head floatin' around.
{A vectorized version of Strong Bad's head appears on the screen}
STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Like, it looks so awesome, girls would probably try to make out with the screen
{Lipstick lips appear on the screen}
STRONG BAD: {voiceover} and we'd have to program it to be like:
3-D STRONG BAD: BACK OFF BABY!
STRONG BAD: {voiceover} And in this one, the player wouldn't control me...
{Cut to Strong Bad at the Compy, shaking the camera}
STRONG BAD: 'CUZ YOU CAN'T CONTROL ME!!!
{Cut back to the vector game}
STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Instead, you'd be some kinda 3-D shield guy with a shield...
{A generic-looking guy with a shield appears on the bottom of the screen}'
STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Some kind of spikey-headed 3-D cyber-shield guy... with a cyber-shield.
{The appropriate changes are made so the shield guy is now spikey-headed and holding a striped "cyber-shield"}
STRONG BAD: {voiceover} And he'd have to block my perplexing geometric attacks, or face certain 3-D doom!
{3-D Strong Bad spits out a rhombus, which hits the cyber-shield carrier in the face, causing it to explode}
3-D STRONG BAD: YOUR HEAD A SPLODE
STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Naturally, there'd be some problems with bad translation.
{Cut back to Compy 386}
STRONG BAD: {typing} On the other hand, it might be cool to be in one of those text-based adventures. You know, for those intellectual people with better imaginations.
{Cut to what looks like the old Tandy 400 screen}
STRONG BAD: {voiceover} It'd be like...
Ye find yeself in yon dungeon. Ye see a FLASK. Obvious exits are NORTH, SOUTH, and DENNIS.
And you'd be all like...
Get ye flask.
And it'd say,
You can't get ye flask!
And you'd just have to sit there and imagine why on Earth you can't get ye flask! Because the game's certainly not going to tell you.
{At this the screen reads "I'm certainly not gonna tell thou."}
STRONG BAD: {voiceover} And there's no precious graphics to help you out, either.
{At this the screen reads "Graphics, shmaphics..." and a few seconds later, "...for sooth!" Cut back to the computer.}
STRONG BAD: {typing} But oh, man. The best thing ever would be if I was in one of those brand new super-photorealistic games that take like tons of migs and megs of memories just to play it.
{Cut to 2-D action game, with bad 16-bit style graphics}
STRONG BAD: {voiceover} I'd look super-cool, runnin' around on some grass, maybe. Or there'd be like, um.. a rhino there too.
{A rhino falls down from the sky}
STRONG BAD: {voiceover} A hungry rhino!
{A food bowl appears in front of the rhino}
STRONG BAD: {voiceover} And I'd have to, I guess... feed him.
{"Strong Bad" brings food to the rhino}
STRONG BAD: {voiceover} And, umm... snakes?
{Snakes pop up, and the rhino charges. Cut back to Compy 386}
STRONG BAD: {typing} So hopefully one day technology will catch up with my advanced thinking, so all the ladies can start making out with their TV screens. {stops typing} Until next time, Taylor, this one's for you, and all my peoples got sent up the river. {Pours his Cold One on the floor}
{The Paper comes down. After about 5 seconds, the four games appear in their boxes.}
Easter Eggs
- At the end you can play the games. They are: Strongbadzone, Rhinofeeder, Thy Dungeonman and Secret Collect.
Fun Facts
- When Strong Bad says "YOU CAN'T CONTROL ME!" and the computer bounces around, you can still change the contrast.
- When strong bad pours the drink out for Taylor, you can see all the dust left over from the last email, though it was not visible in the rest of the e-mail.
